Author's Note: Another fabulously beta'd chapter by the talented ravingbeauty!
WARNING MAN-MAN LOVING! If you don't like it, don't read it.
Remember Me
Part 4:
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. – Will Rogers
Steve was impatient. He shifted in his chair, checking the time yet again, crossing and uncrossing his arms, sighing heavily.
Bucky noticed and leaned over. "Somewhere better to be?" he asked, grinning conspiratorially, remembering the bombshell in red from earlier.
Steve turned to look at him, a delicate flush on his cheeks, "Don't know what you're talking about." Chuckling, his childhood friend turned back to the others while Steve decided he'd stayed long enough. "Early morning boys, I'm calling it a night," he said, standing amid wolf whistles and catcalls. Ignoring it all, Steve headed out of the bar.
The super soldier picked up his pace outside, eager to return to his room where Tony was waiting. Still unable to believe the man was here in England, Steve was giddy with anticipation.
It had taken Steve some weeks after their first night to reconcile himself to what had happened. He'd agonized through weeks of doubt and indecisiveness.
In the end, though, he hadn't been able to deny what his heart was saying. He'd fallen in love with a solemn, scarred, courageous soldier. He knew it was wrong, knew they probably had no chance. Homosexuality was a sin, but he was willing to risk heaven and hell itself to be beside the man.
He entered the compound quickly, waving to the sentries absentmindedly.
Hurrying to his room, Steve opened the door slowly; unsurprised it was dark and quiet, he stepped in and closed the door gently. He shrugged out of his overcoat, pausing when he realized the bed was empty.
His heart dipped in his chest while his mind frantically tried to rationalize… maybe Tony had decided it was easier to stay with Howard. Trying to tamp down his jealously, he chided himself; Tony hadn't seen Howard in months.
Unbuttoning his shirt, Steve glanced around his small room, finally noticing the lump against the wall. Eyes wide, he walked over to find Tony wrapped in his ground sheet, curled up as small as possible on the cold floor. Steve felt his heart lurch at the sight. Kneeling, he bent and lifted the now much smaller figure into his arms.
Tony woke instantly, lashing out on instinct, and landed a good right hook to Steve's jaw. The man grunted and Tony, awake now, blinked. "Oh, Steve. Jeez, I'm sorry… you surprised me," he apologized. Then he glanced around, disoriented. "Why are you carrying me?" he asked softly as Steve sat him on the bed.
"Why are you sleeping on the floor?" Steve returned.
Tony just looked at him, blinking in the sudden light as Steve switched on the bedside lamp. "I ummm…" What did he say? "I wasn't sure," he finished softly, looking away as a slight blush stained his high cheekbones.
Steve stared, frowning in confusion. Reaching out to grasp the stubbled chin, turning Tony's face toward him focusing on dark eyes. "Why? I thought… I was thinking…" Steve was suddenly unsure; perhaps he had been wrong, maybe Tony hadn't felt the same.
As Tony looked into Steve's blue eyes, the emotions crossing his face were easy to read. His own normally stern features softened into a smile. Tony reached out and cupped that handsome face in his rough hand. Leaning forward, he kissed him softly, experimentally, giving Steve time to pull away.
He didn't.
They kissed for long, slow minutes before drawing back. Steve rested their foreheads together with a chuckle. "We certainly are a pair," he teased as Tony returned the grin.
They sat side by side on the narrow cot, Steve in his unbuttoned shirt, still wearing pants and boots, and Tony in his dirty combats. They held each other's gaze as Steve reached out slowly, unbuttoning the other man's shirt.
There was no urgency, no rush this time, just a determined need. They had all night.
In what seemed to be no time at all, both men were stripped to their underwear and took the time to look each other over. Running his hands over the toned muscles and acres of smooth skin, Tony was barely able to reconcile this strong, virile man with the small, skinny kid he'd first met. Meanwhile Steve reached out, gently tracing the twisting white lines that adorned the man before him; he saw so much strength there, and so much pain.
They kissed again, deeper now, as hands wandered to the waistbands of their underclothes. This time when Tony stripped his off, Steve followed suit. Nervous, they looked down at the same moment. Steve grinned, finally seeing the man that had haunted his dreams naked; Tony was perfect. Suddenly giddy, Tony was having the same relieved thoughts.
Now Tony couldn't imagine why he'd been so worried. Laughing, relieved, he crawled into the bigger man's lap as they fell backwards onto the cot. Pressed together from lips to ankles, they tasted and touched one another, moaning as their naked erections ground together teasingly.
Pent up passion and longing made a heady combination as they arched into one another. Kissing his lover on the mouth one last time, Tony began to slide down the large body, kissing across well-defined abs and moving lower.
Eyes closed, Steve moaned as lips traced along his hip before reaching his straining erection. Blue eyes flew open as he felt Tony engulf him, sucking hard. "Tony!" he cried, torn between wanting to pull him off and wanting to buck into that hot mouth. The dark haired man, new to this but enthusiastic, took as much as he could, spurred on by the hands tangling in his hair and the deep groans of pleasure.
Steve was losing it. Like the last time, that tight coiling heat was building in his belly. "Tony!" he gasped out, trying to warn him as he gave into the pleasure. The smaller man was caught off guard and hurriedly swallowed, coughing a little. Steve, sweaty and panting, looked down at the man, smiling at him.
"That feel good?" Tony asked hesitantly.
Steve grinned in response. Just looking at Tony – lips swollen, cheeks flushed, eyes even darker than usual – Steve felt himself growing hard again. Tony laughed as he crawled back up Steve's muscular body and kissed him hard, his own weeping erection begging for release.
"Steve," Tony whispered between kisses, as the other man hummed and arched teasingly against him. "I want you."
Fighting a blush, Steve was confused. "How do we...?" he asked, trailing off.
Tony's well-kissed lips twisted in a smile, "I think we can muddle through it together." Tony talked big, but he had never actually gone this far with another man before; hadn't really gotten past kissing another man, to be honest. Though he knew the mechanics of how it worked, theory and reality were two separate things. But he wanted Steve so much it hurt…
Steve felt rough callused fingers against his lips. On instinct he took them in his mouth, sucking, feeling the man on top of him shudder in response. Replacing fingers with lips, Tony kissed Steve deeply as he slipped his slick digits inside himself. Working quickly, he stretched himself, focusing on nothing save his desperate want. Soon he was steadying himself over Steve's erection. Curious, the larger man watched as Tony moved, lowering himself onto him with determination. Eyes wide, Steve felt the tight ring of muscle give way as he slid slowly inside, groaning at the heat of the sinewy body above him.
Tony scrunched his eyes closed, trying to breathe deep; it hurt like hell.
"Tony?" Steve asked softly. "You ok?"
The dark haired man nodded sharply, "Yes." The pain was beginning to fade to a dull throb, leaving him feeling full and stretched. Shifting slightly, Tony gasped at the sensations the small movement had caused.
Below him, Steve was trying desperately not to move. Already pushed to the breaking point, he gripped Tony's lean hips tightly in an attempt to keep still. "Don't…" the larger man said, but Tony was already moving again, shuddering as pleasure rippled through him.
Steve's control snapped abruptly. Wrapping a muscular arm around Tony's slender waist, he flipped them, the cot audibly protesting his sudden movement. Grunting the smaller man bit his lip to keep from crying out; then Steve shifted, hitting something deep inside that made stars dance behind his eyes and his body thrum in pleasure. To Steve, the soft whimpers and groans in his ear were more erotic than the slender man screaming his name.
Tony gasped as Steve began thrusting into him – slowly at first, but gaining speed and strength with each movement. As they thrust together, the slick sounds of sex filled the room, echoed by the clink of dog tags and the groan of bedsprings. Arching into each thrust, Tony dug blunt fingernails into the broad back and wrapped lean legs more tightly around his lover's waist.
Tony was a mess, overwhelmed by sensation; he could feel himself getting closer, delicious friction driving him beyond reason. In a moment of clarity, he raised dark eyes to look up at Steve; taking in the furrowed brow and the sweat beaded on his forehead, Tony grinned and leaned up to kiss him once more. Moments later, gasping, he arched one final time. "Steve!" he breathed before he was coming, spilling hotly between them, clenching tightly around the blond man. Steve shuddered in response and, squeezing him tight, felt Tony gasping in his arms as he climaxed deep inside his lover.
They collapsed onto the bed in a tangled mess of sweaty limbs, sedate in the afterglow. Tony gently stroked sweat-damp blond hair, not minding the weight of his lover atop him.
Smiling, Steve pressed a kiss to his temple. "Feel good?" he asked.
Tony was smiling that beautiful smile he so rarely showed to the world. "It was unbelievable," he chuckled. He shifted, wrinkling his nose as he noticed the sticky mess cooling on his chest and abdomen. "I don't suppose we could sneak a shower?" he asked idly, imagining a hot shower; it had been a long time.
Steve rolled off of his lover, frowning as Tony winced. "Tony?" he asked worriedly, watching as the other man sat up slowly, rubbing his lower back.
"It's nothing," Tony whispered, standing unsteadily, muscles he didn't know he had protesting. He didn't care, though; it hurt a hell of a lot less than getting shot.
They tugged trousers back on, Steve watching as the lean man fished a cigarette out and lit it up. The glow bathed his scarred face briefly; exhaling, he turned back and lifted a curious brow. Steve said nothing, simply stepped forward and tenderly kissed his rough cheek. Without a word he led them two doors down to a large tiled shower room.
Barely able to contain himself, Tony stubbed out his butt and stripped quickly, groaning happily as he hurried under the hot spray. Moaning in pure bliss, he closed his eyes in pleasure.
Steve watched, a sad smile gracing his features. How long had it been since the scarred man had a shower? How long had he been on the front lines? In heavy combat, with no way out, enemy at his back? Pushing away his dour thoughts, Steve stepped into the shower as well, pulling him close. Dog tags clinked softly as they lathered up between kisses and whispers.
Eventually they headed back to Steve's room, the blond making sure his lover was in bed with him this time. Pressed together, Tony half lay on the larger man, neither caring the bed was too small for both of them.
"I missed you so much," Tony said softly. "When I saw Agent Carter tonight in the bar I thought that maybe you and her…" he trailed off.
Steve blinked, "No, there's nothing between us, she's a nice gal and all." He shrugged wide shoulders. She was very pretty, but Steve's heart belonged to the lean man in his arms. "Sleep…" he whispered as Tony gave a jaw-cracking yawn. "0500 comes awful early…"
-#-#-#-
Grinning, Steve felt like his face would split in half. He listened keenly to Colonel Phillips as he filled them in on upcoming mission… but Captain Rogers was thinking of Lieutenant Stark.
The lithe man had been up first, dressing quickly. Steve had watched him shrug into his gear for training, heart fluttering at the dashing figure he cut. Turning to face him, helmet in hand, Tony kissed him goodbye, "See you later?" Nodding, Steve had watched him depart, sappy grin tugging at his lips as the door closed quietly.
Now Steve sat in the briefing room, wondering how the training was going. Whether Tony was safe…
"This operation will coincide with the upcoming Allied Operation set to launch June 6th, code name D-Day." Steve perked up, interested; this was the operation Tony was to participate in. "The aim is for this to be the final push into Berlin. It's a massive undertaking involving paratrooper drops and amphibious landings on the beaches of Normandy." Steve blinked, all attention on the Colonel as he continued, "The higher-ups are predicting heavy casualties on this one, folks, and they want Captain America to give them some good news. They need you to deliver, Rogers." Nodding, the blond sat stunned as the Colonel dismissed them, the others murmuring and whispering as they filed out. Steve didn't move, though, hearing the echo of his words over and over… "expecting heavy casualties."
"Steve?" a voice cut through the haze. Steve looked up, his blue gaze meeting almost-familiar eyes. Where Tony's eyes were a deep chocolate brown, Howard's were a lighter hazel. "I'm worried for Tony," he whispered, glancing around to make sure they weren't overheard.
Steve nodded slowly, "Me, too…" A hand gripped his shoulder briefly before the inventor left him to his thoughts.
Steve walked through the rest of his day in a daze, first briefing his men, and then completing his own training. It was late afternoon when he finally made it back to Howard's lab to go over some costume designs. He finally entered the doors to a very amusing sight – Howard was fussing around a very long-suffering Anthony Stark.
"Tony, stand still," Howard chastened as he yanked at some sort of vest he had the man wearing.
"Yes, well the last time you said that I ended up on fire," the younger brother said, looking rather worried but letting Howard do whatever it was all the same. Steve approached the pair of siblings, catching Tony's eyes first. The man gave him a small grin as a blush spread across his hollow cheeks. Steve needed to get him some decent food.
"What's this, then?" he asked the genius, leaning against one of the worktables.
"Protective armor for a soldier," Howard replied, checking the fit. "I want it to stop a bullet completely."
Tony's smile disappeared as he looked down at the bulky thing protecting his chest, "It's too heavy, brother. A soldier needs to run and move… Stopping a bullet is great, but it's better to be able to get out of its way altogether."
Howard Stark stopped suddenly. "You're a genius!" he cried, rushing off to the far side of the room and leaving the other two men alone for the moment.
Steve itched to pull him into his arms and kiss him… All day he'd been trying to formulate a plan, thinking of some way to get him out of that upcoming operation. "How was training?" Steve asked, watching the smaller man try to move in the bulky armor. Tony managed to get nearer to the blond, but was unable to bend his arms, stuck as he was for the moment.
"Alright. Cold, though. We were running in and out of the Channel," Tony said absently, looking down at his bulky armor. "How was your briefing?"
Steve just shrugged in response.
"You done for the day, want to go get some dinner?" the blond asked softly. Surprised, Tony glanced up at him, feeling warmth seep into his chest.
"Good plan," Howard interrupted. "Your outfit isn't ready, Steve, come back tomorrow. On a side note, I've booked you lovebirds a room at the Grand down the street." Tony raised an amused brow at his nosy brother as Howard handed over the key to Steve. Both men blushed but were grinning at the same. "Enjoy, little brother," he said, helping Tony out of the gear and shooing them both out of the lab.
"So, about that dinner. You buying, Captain?" Tony glanced up at his companion, laughing with the tall blond as they disappeared down the hallway.
Howard watched them go, chest aching with sadness. All he had wanted was for his little brother to be happy – God knew he deserved it. Tony was what one would call an old soul. Serious and reserved, he'd never given Howard a moment's trouble after the untimely death of their parents.
Howard had always known his brother was… different. Then one day Tony had come home and told him he'd joined up, was going to serve. Howard had been so angry, how could his brother think of doing such a thing?
To Howard, the army had seemed to be certain death. Later he'd pieced it together, realized that Tony had been thinking much the same way.
But Tony's exploits in Africa had made him a hero – and then he'd nearly been lost in Italy.
The inventor sighed sadly, wishing not for the first time that he wasn't so limited. "We're both prisoners of our time, Tony," he said softly. He picked up a helmet off the table and examined it. With a full faceplate and slit eyeholes, it looked almost medieval. Tossing the prototype aside, he looked over to the round metal shield, now bearing the red, white, and blue. He smiled slowly at the sight. "Be happy," he whispered before turning back to his work and pushing the impending invasion out of his head.
-#-#-#-
Steve was in agony. Being so close to the one you love and not being able to touch them was torture. Dinner had been wonderful, a dimly lit little restaurant, private and quiet. Now they walked the near deserted streets, the incessant bombings having made people fearful to be out in the open. They walked close, but not touching. Tony, hands stuffed in his pockets to avoid the temptation, puffed on a cigarette in the summer night air.
They did pass the odd couple holding hands, pressed close, laughing without a care in the world. Each man was a little jealous, wishing they too could show affection so openly.
The couple paused on a bench, watching the Thames flow sluggishly by. Tony exhaled softly, calm in the peace of the evening. Secure in a dark corner of the park, Steve tentatively reached out and took the callused hand of his lover, happy when he felt him squeeze back.
They sat quiet and contemplative in the moonlight until Steve broke the silence, "Tony?" As the dark haired man hummed in reply, the blond took a deep breath. "Join my Commandos," he said, turning to look at him. "I could use a good Lieutenant and we would be together…" he trailed off into silence, heart sinking as the smaller man looked at him sadly and slowly shook his head.
"You know as well as I do, Steve. I can't leave my men," Tony answered as he squeezed the solid hand tightly.
Steve's shoulders slumped. He knew, just as he knew he wouldn't leave his own men. It had been desperation and heartache that drove him to ask; he would give anything to keep Tony safe. "I don't want you to go on that operation," Steve confessed. "HQ is anticipating heavy casualties," he whispered, holding his hand tightly.
Tony's lips twisted, "I know… but I've made it this far." Pasting a small smile on his face, he turned to his lover, "Now, why don't we head back to the hotel my brother is so generously paying for?" Together they stood, hands separating as they walked a respectable distance apart, heading for the sanctuary of the promised room.