Here's another installment, thanks for the reviews and I hope you keep them coming!

Chapter Four

Nearly at Downton's door, Mary paused and gave herself a moment to collect herself. Wiping the last of her tears away, she chided herself for crying so. She hadn't cried over Matthew since the year before, during the Somme, when he had returned to Downton for the first time since that dreaded garden party. She'd cried in front of Anna. Mary pondered that she rather seemed to do a lot of crying in front of the servants. She sighed unhappily, turning to look back at the landscape; she'd even shared a tear in front of Matthew today. How had it come to this? She had wanted nothing to do with spying on or betraying Lavinia, despite Granny's moans and Aunt Rosamund's pleas. She had risen above it and was not be swayed. The last time she'd been swayed, Mary was left wondering with a dead Turk in her bed. She scuffed at the gravel, sniffing. Now, she was left with a broken heart, or rather, was reminded of how broken her heart still remained. She'd tried to be Matthew's friend as well as Lavinia's and yet she was given no respite from her feelings, instead her feelings had to be dragged through the mud again.

Richard Carlisle could make her happy, she knew that he could, given the chance. Anna may have professed that she could love no other but Bates, but Mary thought that a bit ridiculous, that there was only one man you could love. Furthermore, Anna could take comfort in the fact that she knew, without a doubt, that her love was returned in kind. No matter what Mama said about a Mrs. Bates, Mary knew that Bates loved Anna as she did him. Shivering as the sun went down, she surveyed what she could see of her father's lands, lands of which she would never be mistress. Wiping again the tears that seemed to keep on falling against her wishes and blinking a little against the dimming sun, she realised that, though she loved Downton, Matthew could be a Marquis or a milkman and she would love him just the same. Her reasons for hesitating to answer his proposal seemed to fall by the wayside. If only she'd told him about Pamuk, confessed it all, he would've forgiven her, she knew he would-

Her eyes widened as she stopped her line of thinking. Why hadn't she denied what was said in the parlour? Or avoided him until he gave up? He wouldn't have sought her out the next day. But, instead, she was left regretting, regretting that their romance had ended, regretting how it ended, regretting that she had confessed that she loved him and regretting that, yet again, she was looking back on her life with regret rather than looking forward. She stomped her foot and let out an annoyed growl, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were still falling. It was all her Cousin Patrick's fault, if he hadn't decided to get on that bloody boat, she'd be married and she'd never have laid eyes on Matthew Crawley!

"A penny for them, my lady?" She spun around and espied Carson standing a few metres from the door. Mary knew that voice anywhere. His welcoming expression shifted to concern as he noticed her tear-stained face. "My lady, are you well?"

"Er, not particularly, no." She nevertheless smiled, wiping under her eyes.

He breached the distance between them. "This wouldn't have anything to do with what was said in the parlour, would it, my lady? When I showed Captain Crawley in?" She merely raised an eyebrow; the answer to his question being too obvious. "Mmm..." He said noncommittally, with that rich, low timbre helping Mary's eyes to dry, "...when I said tell him what's in your heart, my lady, that wasn't quite what I had envisaged."

"We are certainly in agreement there, Carson." She replied wryly, before sighing again. "I made a mess out of everything...again. But I haven't even done anything wicked, not recently anyway," She offered; Carson smiled in amusement, "I know I sound petulant but it's, well, it is simply not fair...Never again shall I try to be so accommodating and nice to everyone, to Matthew and to Lavinia, even Edith asked if I was taking something to allow me to mellow..." She trailed off, shrugging, at a loss.

"Well, you know what they say about the road to hell Lady Mary...paved with good intentions." He smiled gently before taking on a more serious tone. "I know you were trying your best to be nice but you need to stay true to who you are! Nice might be fine for the likes of Miss Swire, my lady, but you are no Miss Swire." Carson said decidedly, as if rousing the troops to battle.

"I'm no Miss Swire..." Mary nodded, repeating it to herself. She frowned. "Is that-"

"A compliment? Of course, my lady." He nodded gravely. He followed her line of sight on to the grounds. "So, he knows you love him, may I ask what he had to say on the matter?"

She blew out a shaky breath. "He was caught unaware and he hates that. He wanted answers that I could not give him, and I think...I think he might even love me too."

"That's wonderful news, surely?" Carson looked back at his Lady's sombre expression.

"Not really. I feel less like I'm pining for him now, but he'll still marry the lovely Miss Swire and I plan to become Lady Mary Carlisle." Mary smiled, too grimly for her liking.

Carson could not help but shake his head vehemently. "Marry Sir Richard? My lady, please, you must talk to Captain Crawley again and convince him-"

"Of what? To abandon a woman to whom he's given his word? He wouldn't do that, I wouldn't want him to do that, Carson." Carson tutted sadly at the cheerless tone of her voice.

"But Miss Swire will find another, they can't have known each other long enough to be in love! Everyone does rash things during a war! She'll be upset, to be sure, but, to avoid a lifetime of unhappiness-"

Mary cut him off again. "My happiness is more important than a young woman's broken heart? Funny that everyone here is willing to turn the world upside down and upset other people's lives when that broken heart is mine. I like Lavinia."

"So do I!" Carson said defensively. "My Lady." He added more politely.

Mary raised an eyebrow. "If that little blonde upstart thinks she can waltz in here and take Lady Mary's rightful place then..." She trailed off, grinning and she saw Carson's eyebrows hit his hairline. "I heard you talking with Mrs. Hughes the other day..."

Carson went a suitable shade of lobster pink. "My Lady, I am more than sorry that you heard that, it's not our place to say such things-"

"Oh Carson," She said fondly to stop his apologies, "whilst I do not encourage the idea that Lavinia and I are on opposing teams, I cannot help but be flattered by your vehement defence of me...you're quite the white knight, aren't you?" Grinning at his expression of distate.

"I wouldn't say that, my Lady."He said standing a little straighter before turning more serious. "Still, be it Captain Crawley, Sir Richard or anyone else, I'm behind you my Lady and you're always welcome in this house," She raised an eyebrow at such a pronouncement, "...or everyone will starve for I will not ring another dinner bell!"

Her eyes twinkled but she nodded graciously. "Why thank you Carson, but I just don't know how you expect me to consider any man good enough when you champion me so well." She couldn't help but tease him a little more and threw her head back and laughed as Carson blushed from head to toe and excused himself. Watching him go back into the house, she looked at the horizon one last time and wrapped her coat around herself a little tighter. She could still laugh, she could still have a life and be happy. Yes, she thought decidedly, she could be happy without Matthew Crawley.

She put down her fork and wiped her mouth with her napkin, glancing at everyone around the table. "I have an announcement to make."

Her father swallowed his mouthful and looked up expectantly. "Oh?"

"Good news, I hope?" Violet added.

Mary licked her lips nervously. "I think so, yes...Sir Richard asked me to marry him before he went to London and I told him that I'd think about it." A flicker of surprise registered on her parents' faces. "Well, I've thought about it and I've decided to accept him, I'll write him a letter and post it tomorrow."

"Oh, excellent, Mary! A good decision!" Her Aunt Rosamund said happily, smiling in thanks to Carson as she took some grapes from the tray.

"Congratulations, Mary." Sybil smiled, keeping any disappointment about her choice out of her voice.

Edith frowned, annoyed. "But Matthew went to find you!"

"He did find me." Mary said nonchalantly, sipping her wine. "How he knew to go the church is beyond me," she sent her sister a half-hearted glare, "and we talked for a while and I told him of my plans."

Edith continued, ignoring her sister's looks to drop the subject. "But didn't he have questions? I hope you told him what you felt!"

"So do I!" Violet added, feeling very put out by her lack of a share in the conversation.

Robert let his cutlery hit his plate sharply. "Would someone kindly tell me what is going on?" Edith and Mary stopped bickering at their father's commanding tone. "Richard Carlisle made an offer of marriage to my daughter a fortnight ago and this is the first I am to hear of it! Did he ask for my permission? No, he did not! And what's this about Matthew?"

"Matthew has nothing to do with this, Papa," Mary assured her father calmly, glaring at Edith to contradict her, "and what was the point of Richard asking your permission if I was planning on turning him down? I have no doubt, once he knows that I've accepted, he will ask you."

Robert didn't look any happier. "Well, I have a good mind to refuse him when he does!"

Mary was taken aback by that. Sybil rose to her defence. "Papa, don't be like that, if Mary loves Sir Richard then you must not be unkind, I thought he was quite pleasant." She smiled at Mary and reached out to squeeze her hand in support. Mary smiled, mouthing 'thank you darling'.

Robert raised an eyebrow and looked at his eldest, expectantly. "And do you? Love him, that is?"

Mary gritted her teeth, if she never heard the word 'love' again, it wouldn't be too soon. "I'm very fond of him. I admire him and I respect him. I enjoy his company and value his opinions, do I love him? I don't know, but that's a good start, isn't it?" She dared her father to refute her, but he paused.

"...Matthew asked me promptly." Robert said quietly.

Mary gasped and was shocked into silence. "Papa!" Sybil chastised him, angrily.

"Darling," Cora looked at her husband warningly from across the table. "That ship has sailed..."

"Well, it needn't have!" Robert said petulantly, tossing his napkin on the table. "This isn't how things were supposed to happen! She waited too long to give Matthew an answer and now he has found some young girl from London who's never ridden a damn horse, let alone have the faintest idea of how to be mistress of this estate whilst Mary has been moping about because she knows she made a mistake!"

"Robert!" Cora tried to silence him.

Aunt Rosamund scoffed. "This is a first. You've said nothing about this before!"

Robert rounded on his sister. "That was before! When I thought that they'd end their childish ways and come to their senses and now this Sir Richard, nothing more than a blood-sucking businessman sitting pretty on piles of money at home whilst our men are dying, wants to marry my daughter, my daughter who was to be a fine mistress of all of this!" The ladies jumped as Robert stood up from the table. He stood, breathing heavily. "...And need I remind you Rosamund, that it was you who planted the idea for Mary to refuse Matthew in the first place."

And with that, he pushed his chair in and stormed out of the dining room leaving the six and an ever-present Carson, speechless.

"Have you calmed down or should I return later?" Cora asked, standing at the library threshold, sighing at what a pitiful picture her husband made, gloomily sat in his armchair, tumbler in one hand.

His eyes were clouded over. "Richard Carlisle," he drawled as if testing out the words, "...bloody Richard Carlisle."

"Robert..." Cora said wearily, coming to the perch on the arm of the sofa.

He finally looked up at his wife. "I can't believe that you're happy about this." He said bitterly.

She scoffed. "You think I'm happy about this?" She said incredulously, starting to get quite annoyed with her husband. "That it pleases me to think that our daughter is marrying a man barely younger than her own father? A man who doesn't have the security of an estate, who is reliant on stocks and shares? I don't know anything of his character or his family, for all I know he's a divorcé-"

Robert pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly, not in the mood to hear his wife's rants. "Yes, alright, Cora-"

"No, Robert!" She said, determined. "You've been holding out for Mary and Matthew to reconcile, hoping that Lavinia was simply the consequence of young people feeling adrift during a war, as we all did! But it isn't meant to be...Matthew's moved on and we encouraged Mary to do the same. Now that she has, you shout at her! Like it or not, Sir Richard is Mary's choice and you have to respect that. You need to apologise Robert...before she walks out that door, marries that man and we never see her again. Do you want that?" Cora demanded of him.

"Don't be ridiculous, she's my daughter, always will be, and I love her." He threw back the rest of his drink.

Cora's gaze softened and she came forward to kneel on the ground before her husband. "I know you do."

He sighed and tried to grasp at straws. "But, I don't see why she cannot wait...after the war-"

"Robert." She stopped him, resting a hand on his knee. "It's all good and well to talk about after the war, but we don't know when that'll be and she can't live in limbo until then. After the war, there won't be enough good men to go around and Mary won't be any younger. I don't want my daughters to become spinsters, darling. She wants and needs a respectable husband who can provide her with the comfort to which she's grown accustomed and who isn't boring and agrees with everything she says. It's plain that they get along well, and she'll have an opportunity to be a wife, a mother-"

The corners of Robert's mouth twitched at that. "People always think she's hardest but she's the softest and most loving underneath. Mary will make a wonderful mother." He said softly.

"Yes, my darling, she will." Cora agreed, and kissed her husband lovingly on the cheek.

"What, may I ask, was that?" Robert and Cora spun around to see an irate Dowager Countess, all in lilac, sweep into the library. Cora sighed inwardly.

"Mama!" Robert tried, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Cora has already-"

Violet waved her cane in the general direction of the main staircase. "Your daughter is upstairs having to be comforted by her sisters and Rosamund! You have managed to cause such an uproar that Edith is jumping to Mary's defence and the last time either of them defended the other was before the turn of the century!"

Robert stood up at that, assisting his wife to her feet. "Mary's crying?" He asked, concerned.

"Crying?" Violet frowned, that notion hadn't even occurred to her. "Of course she's not crying; she's a Crawley." This time, he did roll his eyes. "But she's still distraught beyond belief!"

"I already plan to apologise Mama, I shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

"Oh," Violet said, surprised – and a bit disappointed – that she didn't have a fight on her hands to convince him to see to his daughter. "Well, there you go." She sniffed, before coming to sit down on the sofa. Cora and Robert looked at each other, resigning themselves to the fact that their guest had no plans of leaving soon, and sat down. "So, Carlisle's the man for Mary, then?"

"So it would seem." Cora said diplomatically.

Violet sighed dramatically. "I always did think the chance of her reuniting with Matthew was slim," Cora nearly choked at that, "but one always holds on to a little hope, I suppose." She looked at Cora hard. "So...this whole business with Lavinia should best be put to be bed."

Cora's eyes widened at her mother-in-law's complete turn-around. "But you were so adamant...I believe your words were 'the truth will out'?" She said dryly, ignoring her husband's questioning gaze.

Violet bristled. "Mmm...well, some things are better left unsaid, I think."

Robert raised an eyebrow at that. "A saying for every occasion, Mother?" Violet's merely held her head up high, refusing to take the bait. He turned to his wife. "Do I want to know about this so-called 'whole business with Lavinia'?"

Cora sighed. "No, probably not, we've all had enough shocks for one day though, don't you think?

Robert hummed in agreement. Violet smoothed down her dress. "You'll have to invite him here, have a little celebration to announce the engagement, nothing too vulgar what with the war...it's not like you will have enough space for something grand anyway," glaring a little at her daughter-in-law for allowing her former pride and glory to be turned into a convalescent home, "...you should serve duck, he mentioned he was very fond of it...do you know if Mary wants an autumn wedding?"

Robert blinked. "Mama, were we at the same dinner? I'm still shocked that they're to be engaged."

Cora patted her husband's arm affectionately and smiled at Violet. "It's all sinking in."

Violet rolled her eyes, wondering why it was suddenly so fashionable to constantly think about how one felt. "Fine. Once it's sunk, let me know what colours you'd like for the engagement party, I think it's best that I choose the flowers, don't you?"

Dear Richard,

I am so sorry in being remiss with my reply, but this last week has been hectic what with the transformation taking place at Downton. It is to be a convalescent home for recovering soldiers. Granny is terribly put out by it all, and Mama and Mrs. Crawley have had a couple of minor arguments, but I think it's important we all do our bit. Sybil plans to give me a little training so I know how to help the soldiers if there is a problem and to encourage them not to close themselves off. One cannot imagine what they have been through. How is London? It must be ever so hot so I cannot say I long for the city, but I do miss your company dreadfully.

In answer to your question, what you asked me at the train station, it is a yes. I accept your proposal, whole-heartedly. I am sure that you are very busy at the moment, but if we are to be engaged, I am afraid you must return to Downton for Papa will not be content until you have asked his consent. It would be a lie to say that he was not shocked by the suddenness of it all, but this evening he assured me of his love and that he only wishes to see me happy. That responsibility falls to you, I hope you are ready!

Granny and Mama have decided to hold a small gathering in our honour, nothing too ostentatious, but I hope it will be to your liking. Now that you are to be my husband, everyone wishes to get to know you so much better. I pray this letter finds you well and I do not doubt that I shall be enjoy being married to you. It is like you said, we will make a good team, you and I.

Yours,

Mary.

P.S. Asking Papa's permission will be fairly painless, but I warn you that you'll have more trouble with Carson.

TBC...

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