"Thank you; both of you, for coming to my symposium, did you have a good time?"
"Of course we did, Doctor Commings! Hearing you talk about the wonders of Literature really made me inspired to write my own stories!"
"Me too! When I grow up, I want to be a world famous author just like you!"
"Oh that's wonderful, girls! Is there anything else I can be of service?"
"Yes please! Do you mind signing my copy of "Another Feather" for me?"
"Of course, young lady! I would be offended if you didn't ask me! Now, what are your names?"
Yuri stood impatiently in line behind two girls who were slightly younger than her. She had went to a symposium held by world renown author and poet Aloysius Commings and now, with the symposium over, Yuri was lucky enough to get a spot to meet the man himself. She had been queuing up since 10:30 in the morning and it was approaching Noon. She had long since finished the provided refreshments and her stomach was starting to rumble, but at least she was now just one spot away from meeting her idol.
"Oh my gosh-thank you so much Doctor Commings!"
"It's my pleasure, girls! I hope to see you two at my next meet-and-greet."
As the two giggling girls left the queue, Yuri quickly walked up to the small booth that had been set up. The good doctor sat there, writing some stuff down on a small notepad. He was a handsome, middle-aged man with a large pair of midnight black glasses on his face. His hair was neatly combed and his chin was well shaven. He was wearing a velvety black suit and his black and blue striped tie was well tied around his neck. He looked no older than Yuri's own father. As he looked up to see Yuri, a welcoming smile emerged on his face, getting rid of any nervousness Yuri had stored inside of her while waiting.
"Well good afternoon, young lady" Doctor Commings greeted the shy maiden. "Thank you for coming to my symposium; I really appreciate it!" Yuri blushed as the charming doctor smiled at her.
"Oh, no-thank you, Doctor Commings; you're the one who's inspired me to write my own poems and I was hoping you could sign this for me!" Yuri presented Doctor Commings with her copy of his best-selling book, "The Portrait of Markov".
"Hey, I know that book!" Doctor Commings joked, causing both of them to giggle. "Of course I would sign it; may I know your name?"
"Yuri."
"Yuri. That's a beautiful name." Yuri blushed at the Doctor's compliment. "Well, there you go Yuri." The man said as he finished signing the second page. As he started handing Yuri's book back to her, Yuri suddenly spoke up.
"A-actually, Doctor Commings, I-I would like to speak with you after this whole event. Y-you don't mind, r-right?"
"Of course I don't, but many people also want to see me personally after the event is over, so maybe you could come to the optional open dialogue session later on at thr-"
"I-I was thinking a-after that..." Yuri's confidence dampened. The doctor thought for a good while before finally responding. "Well, I guess I don't have much going on anyway; tell you what, Yuri: After the dialogue session, meet me at the back of the hall. I'm sure we have many things to discuss."
"O-oh! Th-thank you so much, D-Doctor Commings!"
"It's my pleasure Yuri."
With that, Yuri left the line and headed towards the food court. As she opened her book, she still couldn't believe that THE Doctor Commings had signed HIS name in HER book. "To more stories together, Yuri! – Doctor Commings" Yuri had read that phrase over and over again on her trip to the cafeteria. Many of her days weren't like that, but for the first time in a long time, Yuri felt truly happy.
...
"S-so that's why this book is very personal to me; it gave me hope; hope that I couldn't even find for myself." Yuri finished off with her eyes closed. As she opened them up, she saw Dean looking at her with a thoughtful expression on his face and she immediately looked down. "Oh, I-I'm sorry; I must have bored you..."
"Why are you apologizing? That's a beautiful story, Yuri!" Dean smiled reassuringly, but the timid girl was still not yet convinced.
"Y-you don't have to cheer me up, Dean...I know you think I'm weird for going to a writer's convention..."
"Well, I guess I'm not much of a reader myself, but I still think these conventions are pretty cool! I don't think you're weird for having different hobbies-I actually think it's nice that you are willing to go out and enjoy your life. Am I wrong to say that this was a bad experience for you?"
"Of course not! I really liked it!"
"Well then, that's good! I'm happy that the event had a positive impact on your life!" Yuri
"Th-thanks, Dean, but I don't think my life has gotten that much better..."
"Oh don't say that, Yuri-how long ago was this symposium again?"
"T-the end of last year..."
"Well, would you say that right now, you're having an easier time as compared to last year?"
Yuri was taken aback by this statement. Dean was right: It may have not been much, but so far, this year hadn't gone completely off the rails yet.
"I-it's not that much easier, b-but it is easier nonetheless." Yuri looked up at Dean with hopeful eyes. "Th-thank you, Dean. Your words mean a lot to me." The young man smiled in return. By now, Yuri's face was completely red. Something about this boy was just so...attractive!
"Oh, it's nothing, Yuri. So, tell me: What happened after the dialogue session?"
"O-oh, right...after Doctor Commings finished his dialogue session, the two of us met at the back of the auditorium."
"What was he like in person?"
"He was really nice. He was patient and he didn't get frustrated by my constant stuttering, he didn't laugh at my feelings and my weird hobbies and he gave me advice on how to improve my poetry."
"Wow. Sounds like a really great guy to me."
"He-he was! When he answered my questions, he wasn't doing it like it was his job, or as if it was a chore to answer my questions, he meant each and every word he said and not once did I feel him answering like he was doing me a favour. H-he's a very genuine guy, isn't he?"
"Haha, yes; I would like to meet him in person-I feel like I could learn a thing or two from him."
Yuri was puzzled. Why this perfect guy would think he needed improvements, she may never know. Oh-but now's a perfect time to compliment him!
"D-don't say that, Dean...I think you're a pretty good guy too..." Yuri said with all of her might. Dean seemed to get slightly flustered at her compliment.
"Ahaha, you have too high of an opinion on me, Yuri; I'm not that great of a guy..."
"Wow...add "Being Humble" to his growing list of qualities..." Yuri thought.
"Huhuhu! I guess now it's my turn to encourage you!" Yuri joked.
"OH! BURN! Hahaha!" Dean laughed as Yuri joined in.
"But really though, I do wish to meet this Doctor Commings. Any idea of when his next event is?"
"Oh, yes actually: he told me his schedule when he was giving me advice. If I'm not mistaken...his next convention is a few months from now...I think it's around November...26 to 29 November, actually."
"Alright, sweet! I'll take note of that." Dean enthusiastically took out his phone to take the date down. "Thanks, Yuri!"
"D-don't mention it..."
As Dean noted down the date, Yuri stared deeply into his blue eyes. There was genuine enthusiasm and joy in there, as if he was more than happy to go to a convention he had just heard about a few minutes ago! But more than that, my god were they perfect! They were the most perfect pair of eyes she had ever seen! Just the way they glistened under the burning afternoon sun, how they sparkled with purity...
"O-oh my...w-what am I thinking right now? Uuhh...this is exactly why no one likes-"
"Yuri? You alright?" Yuri looked up in shock and realised Dean was looking back at her. The poor girl quickly turned away in embarrassment.
"A-Ah! I-I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to stare or anything! I...I..." Seeing the poor girl lose her confidence made Dean frown slightly.
"Hey, hey, hey...it's alright, really." Dean was surprised that Yuri wasn't able to recover this time. However, the young man wasn't disheartened and tried again. "You wanna talk about your thoughts? Feelings, friends, anything?" Dean offered. "It would help to say it out loud."
Yuri had a bad feeling about telling Dean about her thoughts; she only knew him for two days and the stuff she had kept hidden for years would take at least two years of friendship to let out, let alone two goddamn days. Still, Dean's face wore one of curiosity but also concern, as if he really wanted to help Yuri defeat her problems.
"I suppose I can trust him..." Yuri thought to herself after a long while.
With a deep sigh, Yuri finally turned to face Dean.
"D-Dean? Would you promise me you won't tell anyone about this?"
"Of course, Yuri: What kind of friend would do such a shitty thing?" Dean gave a knowing smile. This was it for Yuri: The point of no return. Time to see if Dean would be freaked out and never speak to her again; the more likely outcome, or accept her for who she is.
"Well, the thing is...I tend to come on quite strongly when I meet other people. I didn't know about this habit until middle school when I overheard some girls talking about my weird mannerisms when I talk to people and after that, I started realising that no one in my class actually liked me..."
As Yuri told her story, Dean could see that she was having a hard time talking as her breath got shakier and her entire body started trembling. Her stuttering also got heavier, something Dean was saddened by.
"...I-I assumed they told almost everyone in my class about my weird habits and soon everyone stopped talking to me. When I realised I was deliberately being ostracized by my classmates...it-it made me s-so devastated t-that I distanced myself from everyone completely...All the while I had no idea this was going on behind my back and I kept thinking that I had made friends with everyone...but turns out they weren't..."
Yuri looked back at Dean as she finished, now on the brink of tears. "T-this is why I made sure to think b-b-before I speak...m-most of the time I just say things that make me unlikable."
"Yuri..." Dean was visibly moved by Yuri's troubled life story. "Y-you don't have to feel bad that people used to make fun of your habits...I know people are always saying this shit and I honestly think it's quite cliché, but be yourself. Stay true to yourself and if people don't like you for it, then they're not worth your time-"
"B-but everyone doesn't like me for it! T-that's why I don't have any friends!" Yuri interjected, visibly distraught.
"If they don't, then screw them!" Dean confidently stated. "You don't have to be friends with them; they're all trash human beings!"
"Y-you're right! I don't want to be friends with them...b-but, I just wish that they would stop bullying me...I don't understand-I try to seclude myself as much as possible, but they still end up coming after me!" Tears started rolling down Yuri's cheeks once more. "I-I guess the guys get mad because they think I'm ignoring them, but F-Fumi and the others? I-I don't understand..!"
"Hey...it's alright, Yuri, really; Fumi...she's been through a lot...I know that doesn't sound like a good excuse for her behaviour, but I'm serious. I know her more than her fake ass friends like Monika or Kisami-but I promise you that she isn't bullying you because she feels like it. She's dealing with some shit right now."
"I suppose you're right...but Monika isn't a bad person!" Yuri quickly defended the popular girl.
"And how do you know that?"
"B-because I've talked to her...the conversation wasn't smooth, but she was really nice and defended me from Fumi. Oh, and she also likes poetry-that's something, right?"
"Well, I'm happy that you were able to make a friend, Yuri, especially with someone like Monika; my group of friends have tried talking to her and most of them are way more good looking than me-"
"What the hell are you on about?" Yuri thought. "Better looking than you? Are you serious?"
"-and even they can't get her to crack. So I'm happy for you." Yuri looked at Dean and blushed.
"O-oh no, I wouldn't consider her a friend; at least not yet...besides: I doubt that we'll ever speak again after this and I have no intentions of finding her because she's always with Fumi."
"Well, take your time Yuri; rushed relationships aren't healthy anyway." Dean looked at his watch. "Well, lunch is almost over-I'd better get to class or my teacher would scold me. I'll see you tomorrow Yuri! Same place?"
"A-actually Dean, I was wondering if we could meet in the library tomorrow...The garden is nice and all, but it is quite hot-I only came here because I don't have to bypass the canteen fully, but since you told me to ignore Fumi and the others, I suppose the least I could do is follow your advice."
"Of course! If they bother you, just let me know: I'll talk to them."
"Oh, there's no need for that..."
"Yuri: I'm serious. If they make fun of you tomorrow as you're walking to the library, please let me know, alright?" Yuri looked at Dean. She could tell he was legitimately serious about this.
"S-sure. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow..."
"See you!" Dean smiled and waved as he walked off. Unbeknownst to him, Yuri was staring at him, wide-eyed.
"He's...so...d-dreamy..." Suddenly, Yuri snapped back.
"Oh-oh no...I-I don't like him, do I? Uuuuh...he's going to be weirded out if he finds out about it...remember what he said: Rushed relationships aren't healthy."
With a newly found determination, Yuri nodded to herself as she walked off to her class.
...
"We were just walking towards the vending machine and Sayori saw you on the ground motionless; are you alright?"
"Well I'm clearly fine, so you can leave me alone now!" Natsuki angrily snapped at the popular girl, who jumped at her sudden outburst.
Monika looked back to Sayori. The bubbly girl could tell that Monika was slightly annoyed with Natsuki's rude attitude and decided to step in before Monika could tell her off. The last thing she wanted right now was to have these two girls start off on the wrong foot.
"Monika-this is Natsuki; she's from my biology class. Monika, Natsuki. Natsuki, Monika." Sayori introduced both girls to each other. They shook hands, but both girls still weren't on board with Sayori's idea of making them friends. Monika stared at Natsuki with an unsure look on her face while the smaller girl crossed her arms and huffed.
"Me and Monika were going to get a snack, would you like to join us?"
"I was clearly heading to the vending machine too-what do you think I was going to do; make out with it?" Natsuki sarcastically asked.
"O-oh, right...hehe..." Sayori blushed out of embarrassment.
"B-but I forgot to bring my wallet, so could you lend me some...p-please..." Natsuki said the last word with a bit of hesitation. Sayori shuffled slightly. "W-well, I didn't bring my wallet too...s-so..." she looked back to Monika, but thankfully she seemed to have lightened up.
"It's alright, Sayori-here!" Monika smiled as she gave Natsuki a 500 yen coin from her purse.
"Th-thanks..." Natsuki said as she took her pastry out of the vending machine; her face red with embarrassment. "I-I owe you one..."
"Oh-there's no need for that." An awkward silence ensued, but Sayori was glad that the tension was gone, at least for now.
"So where are you guys headed?" Natsuki asked, finally breaking the silence. "This doesn't seem like a place you two would go often."
"Oh, Monika and I were thinking about starting a club! Since we needed a classroom for that, we decided to come here since there's one senior classroom which is unused."
"How do you know that?" Natsuki asked, slightly sceptical.
"Err...well I just do!" Sayori lied with a big smile on her face to hide any suspicion, which Natsuki seemed to have bought. "Well, whatever. What club would it be anyway?"
"Well, we haven't exactly decided yet: That's what we were coming here for. Maybe you could join us!" Monika offered, smiling. Natsuki looked down with uncertainty, but decided to tag along. After all, Monika did help her get her snack and helping them come up with an idea for their club would be the least she could do to repay her.
"I guess I have nothing better do to. Let's go."
"Yay! Thanks Natsuki!" Sayori gleefully hugged the flustered girl.
"Ok, I get it! Jeez..."
...
"Did you seriously pick a classroom on the fourth floor?" Natsuki panted as the three girls finally made it up the stairs.
"Sorry Natsuki, but this was the only classroom we could use-all the others are occupied after school."
"Yeah-you told me that already. But why not choose one from our block? Or the science block? Those aren't used after school either."
"I just like this classroom!" Sayori happily said, completely oblivious to Natsuki's annoyance. "Alright, we're here!"
Sayori swung the door of the classroom open. The chairs and tables were scattered everywhere-which was expected during recess time and some of the students bags were still lying around, though the classroom would be relatively emptier after school. At the back of the classroom was a large walk-in closet which immediately caught Natsuki's attention.
"Nice! I actually have someplace to store my manga! Maybe this whole club thing isn't such a bad idea after all. Wait a minute..." An idea perked in Natsuki's head.
"I just got a brilliant idea, guys!" Natsuki reached into her bag. "Promise you guys wouldn't judge? I'm revealing a very big secret here, but that's only because it helps with the idea for the club."
Sayori looked at Monika, who looked back at Sayori. "Of course I won't judge, Natsuki; I'm your friend!" Sayori happily said. "I won't judge you either; Natsuki." Monika said.
"Alright then, I trust you two." Natsuki complied as she pulled out a box from her bag. Inside were neatly packed volumes of manga which looked to be in pristine condition.
"Parfait Girls?" Monika questioned as she looked at the bright pink words on the box. Natsuki's face immediately flew into rage.
"Yeah yeah yeah! Go ahead and judge me-I don't care!"
"B-but I didn't even say anything..." Monika said with a hurtful expression on her face.
"It was the tone of your voice, Monika."
"What does the tone of my voice have to do with anyth-?"
"Guys! Guys! Let's not argue, please?" Sayori stepped in once again. Seeing her disappointed look, Monika and Natsuki decided to stop.
"Well, anyways, I thought we could make a book club, you know: Just a chill after school reading session where we all bring books to read and discuss them. What do you guys think?" Natsuki looked at Sayori and Monika expectantly. To her relief, both girls seemed to like that idea.
"I love that idea! I have so many books I have at home that I'll love to share with all of you!" Sayori was the first to speak up.
"Thanks, Sayori. Monika? What about you?"
"That's actually a great idea, Natsuki! I like the idea of just sharing the things you like with other people and I think it's a great way for us to get to know each other better! Thank you, Natsuki-that really is brilliant! I wish I could have thought of that!"
Natsuki seemed to have trouble accepting Monika's compliment as her face turned red, but she accepted it anyways. "O-of course it's brilliant! I'm the one who came up with it after all! B-but th-thanks Monika...I'm really happy you agree with my idea."
"Although, do you mind if I add on to your idea?
"Be my guest: Besides, just reading wouldn't be THAT eventful-we need some more ideas if we want to make our club successful and I'm open to suggestions; I'm not made of stone." Natsuki proudly proclaimed.
"Well, I kind of like writing poems."
"Poems?" Both Sayori and Natsuki raised their eyebrows.
"Yeah! They're a great way of getting your thoughts and feelings down instead of keeping them bottled up inside. Whenever I have some issues that I don't know how to deal with, I like to write a poem on how I'm feeling and work it out from there and I have to say from experience that it really helps! The poem doesn't have to be good; it just has to be true to who you are. You two understand that, right?"
Natsuki seemed to agree with Monika, but Sayori looked slightly downcast. Monika JUST had to mention feelings and keeping them bottled up.
"Sayori? Is something wrong?" Monika took notice of Sayori spacing out. Sayori looked up and quickly replaced her sad look with a wide Sayori-like smile. "Nothing's wrong Monika! I fully agree with you!"
"Yeah me to: I have so many problems with the school and home that I would like to get out of my system so badly-your poem thing could be a good way to do that."
"That's what I was having in mind, Natsuki- a club where on top of reading, we also do writing! What do you two think?"
"I don't mind doing something extra other than reading manga." Natsuki agreed.
"Yeah! That's a brilliant idea, Monika! That's one more skill I can pick up!" Sayori agreed as well, though with much more enthusiasm than the manga-lover.
"Well, then it's settled!" Monika clasped her hands together. "A club to read and write-none of the other clubs are like that, so we at least have originality on our side. I'll go talk to the teachers about starting a new club after school."
"Well, if we're going to start a new club, who should lead it?" Natsuki asked. "We can't have a club with no president-it'll go haywire; even with just three people in it."
"Monika should be the president!" Sayori bashfully said. "She's so smart and beautiful-boys will want to join our club after that!" Monika grew flustered at Sayori's kind words, while Natsuki looked on in annoyance.
"Ahaha, don't say that kind of things, Sayori...besides, Natsuki was the one who came up with the whole book thing to begin with-if anything, she should be the leader."
"But it's true! Also, you're in the student council AND you were the leader of the debate club before you quit! If anything, you're the most competent one here to lead anything at all; let alone a small club!"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Sayori." Natsuki backed the cheerful girl up. "I know I'm the one that came up with the idea, but Monika-" the petite girl turned to face her new friend. "-I know our first encounter like literally five minutes ago wasn't on the right foot, but I still think you leading would be the best for us. You clearly have the most leadership qualities out of all of us; I can't be bothered with leading shit and Sayori's...well... Sayori..."
"Heyy!' Sayori whined, causing the two girls to laugh.
"-so yeah. You should be club president."
Monika remained silent for a minute before smiling at Natsuki. "Thanks, Natsuki. Your kind words mean a lot."
"Well-o-of course they did! I already told you: I'm a pro at these sorts of things!" Natsuki again had trouble handling Monika's compliment, but at that point, it didn't even matter.
"Speaking of people joining, we have to keep in mind that we need at least four members to become a legitimate club, or else the school would shut us down after one month. Do you guys have anyone in mind?"
"I suppose I can trick Maple and Mabel into joining, but I don't think that's a great idea."
"Why not?" Monika asked, curious.
"They're-never mind..." Natsuki looked down in disgust, remembering the two girls' opinions on manga.
"What about you, Sayori? Maybe you could get Mio to join?" Monika turned to Sayori, who was lost in thought.
"Ah-I don't think she has time for after-school activities...she has to-"
"Right. I'm sorry, I forgot about that." Monika quickly apologized. "I already tried Kisami and Fumi just now, but they don't seem too keen on joining..."
"Well, that's a good thing! I don't want either of them to come and ruin everything with their toxic attitude-no offense, Monika." Natsuki angrily noted.
"No, I understand. I low-key don't want either of them joining either...well then, that brings our member count from three to three...what are we going to do?" Suddenly, Sayori's face lit up.
"I just thought of someone! But it's going to take a lot of convincing for this particular person."
"I know someone I can bring-and I have no idea how the hell I forgot about her when we're literally talking about books." Natsuki said, causing Monika's face to also perk up.
"I think I know who you're talking about, Natsuki. Maybe we can find her now?" Monika suggested.
All of a sudden, the school bell rang, signalling the end of recess.
"Aw man...well, I guess we'll have to look for her either after school or tomorrow." Monika said. "Meet you at the library?"
"Sure!" Natsuki said with a toothy smile. "Oh and before we go, we still have one more problem."
"What's that?" Both Monika and Sayori looked at the pink-haired girl quizzically.
"We still don't know what our club should be called. The writing club? The poetry club?"
Monika and Sayori thought to themselves for a little while before Sayori looked back up with excitement on her face.
"I got it!"
...
School flew by relatively quickly for Yuri for the second half of the day. As most of her remaining classes were lectures, she at least had the luxury of hiding at the back of the lecture theatres without any of her bullies (which was almost everyone in the lecture theatre) catching her. The violet-haired girl let out a tired sigh as she left the empty lecture theatre and headed for the library to finish her schoolwork.
While walking to the library, Yuri thought back to her conversation with Dean during recess.
"Stay true to yourself and if people don't like you for it, then they're not worth your time" Dean's kind words echoed through Yuri's head, but at the same time, she still felt uncertain.
"W-what if Dean's just being nice because he feels bad? Oh, but he's just so charming...I think I-I'm in love with him!"
"Oh, stop it Yuri-you're being obsessive again...ugh...you're so stupid! No wonder no one likes you..."
"No! Dean does! I just know it!"
"No...He just takes pity on you; you're nothing but a weak, useless girl!"
"But still though, he's just...so...p-perfect...he's kind and s-strong...he doesn't think I'm a weak girl at all! He sees me for who I truly am!"
"Yeah, I guess you're right-he is pretty damn hot, isn't he?"
"Yeah...h-he is..."
"And you just want to fucking FUCK HIM!"
"N-NO!"
Yuri suddenly felt a weird feeling in her chest. It was her heart; it was starting to beat a bit more rapidly. Her breathing grew quicker and quicker as sweat started to pour down her forehead.
"Oh-oh no...N-not again..." Yuri said breathlessly as she scanned around for the nearest toilet. Thankfully, there was one just a few meters from the library.
By the time Yuri reached the girls' toilet, she was more than out of breath and her sweat had begun to stain her uniform. Luckily for her, there was no one in sight.
Swinging open the toilet door, Yuri threw herself into one of the stalls and sat down on the toilet seat. As she panted heavily, she reached into her bag and flicked out a small knife. It's handle was made of fine silver and the blade was a deep blue, almost cobalt in colour. Several words in Latin were carved into the side of the blade.
Yuri fidgeted around with the knife for a few seconds before setting it aside and taking of her blazer. Under her vest, her white uniform was already soaking wet with sweat and part of it was already see-through.
"Haaahh...haaahh" Yuri let out a few short breaths before bringing her knife up to her forearm, right under a cut. The cut had pretty much healed up; it was scabbed the redness had mostly disappeared. Yuri decided to reposition the knife under another cut which was still quite fresh; she could still see the blood in there and it was still bright red. The cut was also underneath another cut,
which was under another cut,
which was under another cut. The last cut ended right underneath her elbow; this one was quite old, maybe about a week or so. Yuri took a deep breath as she brought the blade of the knife up to her skin.
As she pressed the blade down into her skin, bright red blood slowly oozed out. "Ksssshhh!" Yuri winced as pain shot up her forearm. Yuri continued slowly pulling the blade along her arm as her skin slowly tore open. More blood seeped out from her newly formed cut.
Time passed slowly.
Yuri was completely drenched in sweat and her left arm was drenched in both sweat AND blood. Yuri took a few seconds to cool off before grabbing some toilet paper from the-
"Wh-what?!"
Yuri felt her heart stop as she felt around the empty toilet paper holder.
"No...NonononoNO!" Yuri frantically searched around for any bits of paper towels lying around, but her stall as completely empty of paper. She really didn't want to go out to look in the other stalls-what if someone walked in and saw her like that? They would think of her as a freak, the word would spread around the school like wildfire and soon the rumours would become the truth. As these thoughts swarmed Yuri's head, she began to panic more and more.
"Wait-my bag!" Yuri lifted her bag upside down and shook all its contents out onto the floor. Her textbooks fell right smack onto a puddle of dirty water, but at that point, Yuri didn't care. All she wanted was at least some form of...
"...Paper..."
Yuri grabbed one of her textbooks at ripped the contents page right out. As she put it right up against her freshly cut arm, blood began to soak up into the contents page, staining it red; some of the blood from her other cuts also seeped in.
By the time Yuri was done cleaning up after herself, the entire page was soaked with blood, some dripping out at the bottom. Thankfully, Yuri held the page over the toilet bowl so no blood would stain the floor.
"Phew." Yuri heaved a heavy sigh of relief as she dumped the blood-stained page into the toilet bowl and flushed it down. Making sure she kept her knife properly, she took another deep breath and stepped out of the stall. Yuri walked up to a mirror and took a good look at herself.
"Look at yourself. You're a freak."
"I-I'm not!"
"You're cutting yourself-you're clearly obsessed with that Dean guy, and look! You're fucking sweating all over the place! Your uniform is stained with all that blood, and-"
"M-my u-uniform?"
Yuri looked down at her arms and saw a stained white sleeve that was still soaking wet with sweat, blood and water.
Her heart skipped a beat.
Yuri turned around to see a blazer still hanging on a metal grab bar. Before she could react, the toilet door swung open.
"I knew we would catch you in her-OH MY GOD LOOK AT HER ARM!"
"I always knew she was a freak, let's teach her a lesson!"
"A-AH!"
Yuri tried to hide in the stalls, but an arm grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. As Yuri spun around to defend herself, a fist went right into her right cheek, sending her flying across the toilet.
"TAKE THAT, YOU FREAK!"
"UUUGGHHH..." Yuri groaned as she tried to steady herself, but a leg swung right into her stomach, kicking her off her feet. Yuri fell face first onto the wet toilet floor. Tears starting flowing out of her eyes as more kicks and punches came down onto the poor girl.
"Yeah that's right: CRY! THAT'S ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO!"
"Since you like cutting yourself so much, why not we do it for you?!"
As Yuri looked at her assailants, light reflected into her eyes: metal. Yuri knew immediately what her assailant was holding.
"W-WAIT! P-Please..." Yuri could only beg as an arm forcefully grabbed hers while another pulled down her uniform sleeve.
"Where should we put it? Next to this old one or up here with this new one that's still fucking bleeding?"
"How about both?"
Yuri could only watch in terror as a penknife was brought up to her arm and pulled across it forcefully.
"AA-AHHHHH!" The defenceless girl screamed as blood started to pour out from a freshly opened cut. Unlike Yuri's own cuts, which were small incisions in her skin, this one was a straight up laceration. This was bad. Yuri was pretty good at dealing with her own cuts by now, but her bullies had given her a large and deep one. "FIGHT BACK YOU BITCH! SHOW THEM THE FREAK THAT YOU REALLY ARE!"
As her assailants continued to torment her, all of a sudden, Yuri stopped screaming.
"Did she pass out?"
"I don't know; who cares? Let's give her one more cut, this time on her huge tits!" As one of Yuri's bullies knelt down to unbutton her uniform, as of a sudden, Yuri's arm forcefully grabbed her.
"GAH!" In her shock, the bully dropped her penknife on the floor. Yuri took this opportunity to take her knife out.
"S-stay back!" Yuri pointed her knife at the two girls with a manic expression in her eyes. This time, it was their turn to be frightened.
"AHHH! STAY AWAY FROM US, YOU FREAK! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"
Yuri's assailants flew from the scene, leaving Yuri standing in the middle of the toilet all alone.
"Pant...pant..." Yuri stood there motionless for a few seconds; processing what had just happened, before collapsing onto the floor in a heap. Her head was spinning and she could still see the afterimage of her assailants tormenting her.
Silence for a few seconds; the only noise is the whir of the wall fans and the occasional dripping of tap water.
Silence of a few more seconds...
And then it breaks with the quiet stifles of a poor, misunderstood girl lying helplessly on the floor.
"...sob..."
...
"Where do you think Yuri could be?"
"Well, I only spoke to her on that one occasion, but it's not hard to tell that she'd rather sit somewhere less open. Maybe we should check the study benches on the top floor?"
"Hmm...I guess you're right, but I think we should split up to cover more ground."
"Why? Are you in a rush or something?"
"Y-yeah...m-my Dad wants me home e-earlier today..."
"Oh, alright then-I'll look upstairs while you search here. If either of us see her, give the other a text, alright?"
"Yep-I bet I can find her faster!"
"Oh, it's on!"
With that, Monika and Natsuki split up to search the school library for their potential fourth member.
...
"Hey, Monika!"
"Hi, Monika!"
"Oh, look: it's her. Be cool, be cool. Ahem...uh...h-hey, Monika!"
"Hi. Hello. Uhm...hey!" Monika tried her hardest to greet almost everyone on the top floor of the library, but literally everyone was saying hi to her first. The people just browsing around stopped what they were doing just to greet her, friend groups reading together put their books down, even the more studious ones stopped their revision just to say hi. However, Monika couldn't entertain any of her fans; she had to find her fourth member. The popular girl headed straight for the far end of the top floor.
To her surprise, she wasn't anywhere. Monika looked behind, around and in between bookshelves, but no sign of the purple-haired girl anywhere. There were only students doing their revision diligently, some had passed out from sheer exhaustion.
"That's odd...I assume she likes to read alone and out of everyone's sight..." Monika was dumfounded. If Yuri wasn't on the top floor, she would be at the bottom, right in the open. That wasn't Yuri. Still, she wouldn't give up hope. Carefully taking out her phone, she gave Natsuki a text message.
"Top floor's nada; I'm coming down to join you."
"K."
Natsuki didn't have much luck either; most of the time it was just students giving her dirty looks for snooping all over the place. The reading rooms were empty, the computer room was filled with many students, but no Yuri, and everywhere else was either too populated or too exposed for someone as timid as her.
"No, definitely not here." Natsuki said as she walked past a wide-open beanbag area where students were using their phones and relaxing.
This was a lost cause.
"No luck?" Monika linked back up with her club member.
"I just don't get it-isn't this like where she goes to do her homework? Why would she not be here today?"
"She must not be feeling well, I guess...oh well; didn't you say you have to leave early?"
"Oh, right." Natsuki looked at her watch. "5 pm?! Seriously?!"
"SHHHHH!" Hushes came from all around the library, causing Natsuki to lower her head in embarrassment. "S-sorry..." the pink-haired girl muttered out inaudibly. "I better get going; my dad's gonna kill me if I'm not home in time. I'll see you tomorrow, same place?"
"Sure! Take care, Natsuki!" Monika waved to Natsuki as she walked off.
"I just don't get it. This isn't like her at all!" Natsuki questioned with visible confusion as she walked through the library's glass doors. "Maybe she really IS sick..."
As Natsuki left, Monika decided to hang around the library for a while longer. After all, she didn't get much homework today and most of what she did get wasn't due the next day, so she figured that she could spend some time to unwind. She walked over to the beanbag area and whipped out her phone.
"Hmm...Who should I text to pass the time...?" As she randomly swiped down her contacts, it stopped fittingly at her vice-president. Conveniently enough, she was online. "Sure, why not."
"Hey Sayori! How's life?"
Sayori responded almost instantaneously.
"HEY! OMG Im struggling with mrs chen's biology assignments and mio doesnt know how to do them either! AHHH THIS SUCKS! :'( "
Monika smiled to herself as she read through Sayori's exasperated texts.
"HAHAHA. Don't worry so much; I'm sure you can figure it out."
"arent you an arts student Monika? Do you even know the difference between a grana and a thylacine membrane?"
"Enough to know that it's called "Thylakoid", not "Thylacine"."
"Sayori is typing..."
"Oh dear...I hope I didn't make her mad..."
"I KNEW THAT! I was just testing you :D "
"XD whatever you say, Sayori. By the way, how's that friend of yours? Have you asked her if she's keen on joining?"
"well...I havent had the time today, you know, homework and all, and btw its not a she."
"Oh, it's a guy? What's his name?"
"anon. dont worry about it, hes nice! youll love to meet him!"
"Anon? As in that guy from...where was it again? Ah it'll come to me eventually."
"Well, as long as he's willing to put in effort, I'm sure we'll get along nicely!"
"dont worry moni, anon always gives his 100 percent as long as hes having fun! How about you and nats? did you two find yuri?"
"No, she wasn't at the library today. :( "
"REALLY? I thought she loved going to the library!"
"Yeah Natsuki and I thought that too...we'll just have to find her tomorrow I guess..."
As Monika looked up from her phone, something in her peripheral vision caught her attention. She spun her head to the direction of the glass doors; where all the way down the hallway, she could see a dash of purple coming out from what looks like a nearby toilet.
"Yuri!"
The dash of purple started to move away from the toilet. "Nonononono don't disappear on me now." Monika quickly texted Sayori and got up from her beanbag.
"Wait I think I just saw her! TTYL!"
"go get her! ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ"
Monika walked briskly to the glass doors of the library, before a voice from behind her stopped her dead in her tracks.
"Hey, Monika!"
Monika turned around to see who was calling her and
"Ahem...oh, it-it's just you Kouichi." The smug student body president smiled at her with a stupid grin on his face.
"Do you think you could help me with this?" Kouichi pointed to a book on his table. "Advanced Japanese" read the words on the cover. As Monika turned back to the glass door, the dash of purple had just vanished behind a wall. "Damnit!" Monika scolded herself for not pursuing Yuri. Now she had to deal with this piece of shit. She turned back to Kouichi with the fakest smile of all time.
"Sure, Kouichi! I'll be happy to help you!" As she walked over to her student body president, she sent Sayori a quick text.
"Didn't get her :( Got interrupted by Kouichi!"
"that jerk! hes always ruining everything! :["
"So, Kouichi, what can I help you with?"
...
"Hi Mom, I'm home..."
Yuri timidly peeked into her house; her mother was sitting on the couch, watching television.
"Welcome home dear, how was school?"
Yuri clutched her left arm tightly. "I-it was fine...schoolwork isn't that tiring yet ...oh a-and I-I made a new friend!"
"Oh, really? What's her name?" Yuri looked off the side in embarrassment. "A-actually Mom, it-it's a "he"."
"OOOOH!" Yuki's voice rang out from her room.
"Y-Yuki! It-it's not like that!" Yuri's hands jumped up to her chest.
"Yuki! That's enough now!" Yuna chided. "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, yeah: So what's his name?"
"D-Dean...he's a senior."
"Oh, that's nice. What's he like? Is he handsome? Nice?"
"Y-yes, actually! He's really tall and, erm, also quite muscular. And yes, he is VERY nice. He listens to me talk about my books even though he isn't a big reader."
"That's nice of him."
"Y-yes, it is. He's a very nice guy."
"Do you have his contact number? Maybe we can invite him over to dinner someday?"
"Oh a-ah..." Yuri blushed slightly. "I-I don't have his contact number...I'I kept talking about my books that I guess I forgot to take it down..."
"Oh that's alright, dear. Take your time with these things, although I would really like to meet him."
"You will, Mom! He's very gentlemanly and he also loves soap operas! His mom forces him to watch them with her!"
"Uhuhu, now I definitely want him over!"
"I guess that makes two of us, Mom. Anyway, I better go wash up." Yuri said as she suddenly remembered her incident earlier. "By the way, do we still have any rubbing alcohol?"
"Yes, we do; it's in the upstairs bathroom...why, did you hurt yourself today?"
Yuri tensed up as she gripped her left arm even harder. "I-I...I fell down earlier, yes!"
"Oh, my poor baby let me see-"
"N-NO! I-I'M OK MOM I PROMISE! I-I just need to apply some alcohol to disinfect it, that's all!" Yuri rushed up the stairs before her mother could say another word.
Once again, Yuri found herself in a toilet. After cautiously shutting the toilet door behind her, Yuri opened the cabinet above her sink and took out the bottle. As she took off her blazer, her eyes fell as she saw how much blood had stained her uniform. Clearly the boatloads of paper towels she used weren't enough to stop the bleeding from the large cut her assailants gave her.
Stripping down to her bra and underwear, her hands shook violently as she grabbed the alcohol bottle. Her own cut had already stopped bleeding; it was the large laceration that was going to hurt the most. "I better get something to chew on..." Yuri noted to herself as she took a wash cloth and stuck it in her mouth.
"I can do this...I can do this..."
With a deep breath, Yuri sloshed the alcohol over her two cuts.
The pain was unlike any other.
Yuri found herself having to kneel down on the toilet floor from all the pain. She tried her best not to scream from the sheer pain. She bit down on the cloth so hard that her teeth were starting to hurt. Tears had formed in her eyes from squeezing them too hard.
"MMPPPHHH!" Yuri groaned through the washcloth as the pain continued to burn through her body like boiling acid. Within a few seconds, she was completely immobile.
Time passed.
Yuri slowly got herself to her feet.
"I-I'm okay..."
As she turned on the shower, she let the water run for a few seconds before washing her left arm under it once again. The pain returned, but it was nothing compared to her ordeal a few minutes ago. As Yuri stood under the shower, she began to cry.
...
"Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do, Yuri. This poem right here? It's exquisite!"
"Aha...no, it's not that good..."
"I mean it, Yuri! You have a remarkable talent for writing? Have you ever considered being an author? A poet at least? You're a natural. You came here asking me about tips for good writing, but I can confidently say you don't need it!"
Yuri looked off to the side shyly. "You-you really think so?"
"I know so, Yuri. Let me tell you something." Doctor Commings motioned Yuri to come closer. As he spoke, his voice was smooth and gentle, but also warm and kind. It made Yuri feel comfort more than any other time the whole year.
"When you write a poem, don't think too hard about the line you're writing, or the next line, or the line after that. Whatever thought comes first: That's your honest, genuine thoughts. Don't second guess yourself. This way, it makes the poem more authentic: it's made BY you. If you wait to think about other things or how your original ideas aren't good enough for you, or other people, then it's not YOUR poem anymore. So don't think twice when writing a poem: Write it straight out of your heart."
Yuri stared wide-eyed at the good doctor.
"Tell you what, Yuri. I'm having another symposium during November. Write a poem when you go home and when you come to the symposium, I would like you to show it to me. Can you do that for me?"
Yuri looked at Doctor Commings in the eye.
"Y-yes...I can do that..." The good doctor smiled warmly.
"I'm counting on you, Yuri!"
End of Chapter Four