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~ Chapter 3 ~

The first night home alone after a long week of nightshifts was always the one that most reminded her how quiet her apartment really was, and this particular one was not any different. Olivia sat on her cream colored couch, wrapped an oversized grey cardigan and a pair of black fleece leggings. A large cup of tea sat on the small coffee table in front of her, her laptop was resting on her thighs, and she was surrounded by books. Her half empty container of Thai food had been pushed to the side to make room for the medical journal Olivia received monthly, and with the TV turned off, the only sound in the spacious living room was the occasional flipping of pages.

Even though she had not made it home until nearly seven thirty in the morning, Olivia had only managed to sleep a few hours before waking up in the early afternoon. Since then, she had devoted her time to researching a patient's condition and in particular his chances of a full recovery. After long hours of reading both books and online articles, she could no longer convince herself that it was normal to spend so much of her personal time on a patient. It was neither her job, nor was it typical behavior for her. But nothing seemed to be typical when it came to Fitz Grant.

Olivia felt bad for him, but that was only part of it. There was something about him that wouldn't let go of her, like this man she barely knew had a hold on her that she couldn't seem to shake. He was an open book and a mystery at the same time; so much about him so clear to her, yet so much a big question.

Fitz was, according to his patient file, a 48 year old D.C. lawyer with no prior medical conditions. A woman by the name of Joan Ellis was listed as his only emergency contact, and based on the note left in his file, she was Fitz' sister. There were a few things about him that Olivia knew even though they weren't listed anywhere.

He was handsome, strikingly so. His hair was full and curly, and his body was that of an active, athletic man. Fitz did not look his age, and Olivia had been surprised to find out that he was nearly 50 years old. Despite his injury and his visible sadness, he was charming and sweet, always able to make an often almost stoic Olivia smile. She wondered about his background and about his family, and how it was possible that such a kindhearted man had not welcomed a single visitor since his accident nearly six days ago.

She was brought out of her thoughts when her cellphone beeped and signaled an incoming text message. Olivia checked the sender and quickly opened it when she noticed that it was from Abby – one of her fellow ICU nurses and a good friend. The short message simply read:

"Don't be mad, and remember you love me. x"

Olivia raised an eyebrow, unsure what her friend's words meant. Before she could type a response, her phone began to ring, this time announcing an unknown caller. Olivia frowned, but answered the call anyway.

"Hello?"

"Uhm… Olivia… hi… this is Fitz."

She felt her heart beat faster at the sound of his voice, simultaneously rolling her eyes at her own reaction. She didn't like not having control over her own body's reactions.

"Hi.", she replied quietly.

"Hi."

There was a short moment of silence, almost like he'd called on an impulse and didn't know what to say now that she was actually on the other end of the line. Then Fitz cleared his throat.

"I know you must be wondering how I got your number, and I'm really sorry if I'm crossing a line here."

"It's okay.", Olivia answered, because it was, even though this was all so strange.

"Your colleague, Abby, gave it to me, she said you wouldn't mind. I had to promise her that you wouldn't be mad at her."

"I'm not.", she smiled, because he was rambling and it was cute.

"Good. I'm glad. That's… good."

They both laughed then, utterly aware of the fact that they were acting like two awkward teenagers. The laughter gave them both a moment to relax, and when they'd calmed down it seemed to be a little easier to talk.

"I really do hope I'm not disturbing you, Liv. I figured you wouldn't be asleep yet."

"I'm not.", she replied. "I'm… uhm… reading."

It wasn't a lie, and it wasn't the entire truth either, but Olivia figured she could get away with that for now.

"Was there a reason for your call?", she finally asked, her voice soft and quiet.

"Kind of.", he chuckled. "You're not working tonight. How dare you?"

Olivia could hear the smile in his voice, and it made her grin in return.

"Well, Mr. Grant, some of us worked all week and deserve a day off. Not everyone can laze around in a semi-comfortable bed and do nothing but watch TV all day."

"You're right, of course. This whole laying around and doing nothing thing is like a vacation. Minus the beach. And the cocktails. Or the hot ladies in bikinis."

This time, Olivia couldn't help but laugh out loud. She could not have talked like this with any other patient, out of fear that she was crossing a line or hurting someone's feelings. With Fitz she didn't mind, because she felt like she knew just how far to take the teasing and joking. It was effortless.

"So is that the kind of man you are? Always looking for the next chick in a tiny outfit?"

"Are you offering, Nurse Olivia?"

"Oh my God!", she laughed. "You did not just ask me that! This conversation is turning into such a cliché."

"This is why I called, you know?", Fitz grinned at the other end of the line. "You always manage to make me smile."

His admission made her heart speed up again, and Olivia sank deeper into the large cushions of her couch. She brought her legs up to tuck her feet under her favorite blanket – a gift from the very same grandmother that had taught her the secrets of mashed sweet potatoes – and her eyes drifted to the window.

"It's snowing again.", she told him, matter-of-factly.

"I grew up in California and I never quite got used to D.C. winters, I just kind of accepted them. Now I really despise them."

"Your sister is still in California, right?", Olivia asked, remembering the information from his patient file.

"Yeah. She called me earlier today to brag about the mild temperatures and the sunshine."

The affection in his voice told Olivia how much Fitz loved his sister, and she imagined her being younger, always spoiled and protected by her older brother.

"Is that why you haven't had any visitors?", Olivia spoke quietly. "Because your family is on the West Coast?"

"Only my sister is, with her husband and my two beautiful little nieces. My mom passed away when I was in my late twenties, and my father died of a heart attack a couple of years ago."

"I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry."

"No, you're fine, Liv. I don't mind talking about them.", Fitz interjected quickly. "How about you? Do you have family in D.C.?"

"My mom died when I was 12.", Olivia replied, feeling like it was easier to talk to Fitz about these things than it was with anyone else she knew. "My dad lives in D.C., I think. We don't really… see each other."

Fitz didn't ask another question about her parents, and she appreciated that more than she could put into words. They shared a similar fate, both of their parents no longer an active part of their lives.

"I was worried about you when nobody came to see you."

"You don't have to be.", Fitz smiled. "My sister calls every day, usually twice, and she's offered to come but I don't want her to. She and her husband both have busy jobs and their girls are still so little. There is no need for them to get on a plane just to visit me here for an hour."

"It makes sense.", Olivia admitted, because she would have made the same decision if it was her in that hospital bed. "No wife?"

She had wanted to ask that question for a while now, even though it was far from appropriate. Olivia bit her lip nervously as soon as the words were spoken.

"No.", Fitz answered honestly. "Not anymore."

"Oh."

"We got divorced four years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Liv. We were never right for each other."

"And you don't have kids together?", Olivia asked hesitantly.

"No. I've always wanted them, just never found the right person to have them with."

If Olivia found it strange that he had married but still didn't feel like his wife was the right woman to have children with, she did not mention it.

"I know what you mean.", she whispered, almost to herself.

And after that, they were quiet, both lost in thoughts about what they had just admitted to each other. Olivia was 36 years old, and although she was healthy and fit, she knew time was running out to find a man that she would want to start a family with. She had always wanted to be a mom; she wanted to have one child, maybe two. Doubts gnawed on her constantly though, because she hadn't grown up in a very loving home, especially after her mother's death, and she often struggled trying to figure out if she would even be a good mom.

"They're moving me out of the ICU tomorrow.", Fitz interrupted her thoughts.

"I'll come visit you.", she blurted without a second thought.

"In a tiny bikini with a cocktail in your hand, right?", he teased, trying to mask his excitement with a silly joke.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a tiny nurse outfit."

"Livvie.", he warned, and the tone of his voice and the fact that he'd called her that actually made her swallow.

"I'm hanging up now.", Olivia said firmly.

"Yeah, that's probably better."

Neither one of them did for a long time.