Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And I'm SO sorry about the whole I thing. From now on, thoughts will be known as 'alright!' :-)
Chapter 4: Revelations
Buffy could only stare at the vampire standing in front of her. 'He's here,.and alive.' Buffy opened her mouth but no words came out. She could vividly remember the day when Spike had disappeared without a trace, and how guilty she had felt and feeling confused right after. After all, Spike *had* hurt her, he had hurt her bad. She recalled the very words she had said to him after the.incident. 'Ask me again why I could never love you.' But she knew deep in her heart that Spike did love her. Till death.
Spike then just vanished, not even Clem knew where he went. Now here he was.
"Buffy." Spike said softly, his blue eyes filled with sadness. Buffy could only gaze back at him. There was something in his eyes. She felt herself drowning in them.a clap of thunder shook her away from the deep trance she was slowly falling into. She glanced outside. Rain had started to fall, and a bolt of lightning flashed in the sky, leaving a trace of light.
Buffy turned her attention back to the vampire who was still gazing at her, sadness with a mixture of desperate hope was the only emotions that kept his deathly aura alit. But Buffy just shook her head, in disbelief and hurt.
"Don't even think about explaining Spike," Buffy said moving away from him. "You hurt me, and then you just.left."
"Please Buffy, just listen to me." Spike pleaded grabbing her arm as she started to leave the warehouse. Buffy spun around and crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot in impatience.
"Fine. But don't expect me to believe you." Buffy said flatly.
"I don't expect you to, but please, just listen." Spike said. "When I-did that to you, I myself felt hurt, more or less angry. You know it's so much easier to be angry than guilty.so I left. Why? Because I couldn't deal with it anymore, couldn't deal with the fact that the person I love is the slayer, and doesn't love me back." he paused to let all this sink in. Buffy lowered her eyes to the floor. She knew how hard it was for him to say this, especially to her. "I traveled all the way to Africa. I had an- appointment with a demon there. I wanted a favor from him. And in order to have that favor granted, I had to fight several other demons. I went through fine, though a little bruised, I was okay. Then the demon asked me on what favor I wanted." This time it was Spike who lowered his eyes to the floor. "I asked him to return me to my former self."
Buffy's jaw dropped in shock and anger. But Spike held up a hand in silence. Buffy nodded stiffly and allowed him to continue.
"You see, like I said, it was so much better to be angry than hurt, or guilty. That encouraged the desire inside me that had been burning for a long time, ever since the very time that the Initiative inserted the chip in my head. It was the favor that I wanted, to have it removed once and for all so I can have-my vengeance."
This time Buffy had had enough. Her fist came flying out of nowhere, aimed for Spike's face. But to her surprise, he caught it just before it could break his nose. "You-you are the most *disgusting, revolting* vampire that I have ever met." Buffy spat.
Spike merely nodded which surprised her yet again. "I deserved that. But you didn't let me finish yet." Slowly, he released his grip on her fist. "The demon-he misunderstood. Instead of getting the chip out of my head, he returned my soul."
Buffy's angry façade faded, to be replaced by astonishment. "Your soul?" she whispered. "But how-how'd you manage to block my punch?"
"The Pulse took care of that." Spike said with a small grin. "It wiped out everything electronic, including my chip."
She backed away a step from him but then stopped. How can he hurt her if he had his soul? Spike wasn't one to live for guiltiness.
"So, do you forgive me? Will you give me another chance? Will you give *us* another chance?" Spike asked, his eyes filling once again with unclear conscience.
Buffy gazed at him. She felt growing sympathy in her, and she almost forgave him. But mental flashbacks of everything he did made her think otherwise. Buffy gave Spike a look, which faintly resembled pity. Hesitantly, she answered. "I forgive you." Buffy said quietly. "But there can never be an us. And it's not because of you. It's because of me. I was using you Spike, using you for emotional release.and other than that, you- hurt me, and I don't want that to happen again."
Spike nodded understandingly which surprised the slayer. "I had a feeling you would say that, friends then?"
Buffy allowed herself a small chuckle. And she thought all her happiness was sucked out of her. "Friends." She agreed taking Spike's hand and shaking it.
A/N: Okay, I think that chapter sucked. It was a little sappy.but anyway, review! Review, REVIEW!!! :-)
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And I'm SO sorry about the whole I thing. From now on, thoughts will be known as 'alright!' :-)
Chapter 4: Revelations
Buffy could only stare at the vampire standing in front of her. 'He's here,.and alive.' Buffy opened her mouth but no words came out. She could vividly remember the day when Spike had disappeared without a trace, and how guilty she had felt and feeling confused right after. After all, Spike *had* hurt her, he had hurt her bad. She recalled the very words she had said to him after the.incident. 'Ask me again why I could never love you.' But she knew deep in her heart that Spike did love her. Till death.
Spike then just vanished, not even Clem knew where he went. Now here he was.
"Buffy." Spike said softly, his blue eyes filled with sadness. Buffy could only gaze back at him. There was something in his eyes. She felt herself drowning in them.a clap of thunder shook her away from the deep trance she was slowly falling into. She glanced outside. Rain had started to fall, and a bolt of lightning flashed in the sky, leaving a trace of light.
Buffy turned her attention back to the vampire who was still gazing at her, sadness with a mixture of desperate hope was the only emotions that kept his deathly aura alit. But Buffy just shook her head, in disbelief and hurt.
"Don't even think about explaining Spike," Buffy said moving away from him. "You hurt me, and then you just.left."
"Please Buffy, just listen to me." Spike pleaded grabbing her arm as she started to leave the warehouse. Buffy spun around and crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot in impatience.
"Fine. But don't expect me to believe you." Buffy said flatly.
"I don't expect you to, but please, just listen." Spike said. "When I-did that to you, I myself felt hurt, more or less angry. You know it's so much easier to be angry than guilty.so I left. Why? Because I couldn't deal with it anymore, couldn't deal with the fact that the person I love is the slayer, and doesn't love me back." he paused to let all this sink in. Buffy lowered her eyes to the floor. She knew how hard it was for him to say this, especially to her. "I traveled all the way to Africa. I had an- appointment with a demon there. I wanted a favor from him. And in order to have that favor granted, I had to fight several other demons. I went through fine, though a little bruised, I was okay. Then the demon asked me on what favor I wanted." This time it was Spike who lowered his eyes to the floor. "I asked him to return me to my former self."
Buffy's jaw dropped in shock and anger. But Spike held up a hand in silence. Buffy nodded stiffly and allowed him to continue.
"You see, like I said, it was so much better to be angry than hurt, or guilty. That encouraged the desire inside me that had been burning for a long time, ever since the very time that the Initiative inserted the chip in my head. It was the favor that I wanted, to have it removed once and for all so I can have-my vengeance."
This time Buffy had had enough. Her fist came flying out of nowhere, aimed for Spike's face. But to her surprise, he caught it just before it could break his nose. "You-you are the most *disgusting, revolting* vampire that I have ever met." Buffy spat.
Spike merely nodded which surprised her yet again. "I deserved that. But you didn't let me finish yet." Slowly, he released his grip on her fist. "The demon-he misunderstood. Instead of getting the chip out of my head, he returned my soul."
Buffy's angry façade faded, to be replaced by astonishment. "Your soul?" she whispered. "But how-how'd you manage to block my punch?"
"The Pulse took care of that." Spike said with a small grin. "It wiped out everything electronic, including my chip."
She backed away a step from him but then stopped. How can he hurt her if he had his soul? Spike wasn't one to live for guiltiness.
"So, do you forgive me? Will you give me another chance? Will you give *us* another chance?" Spike asked, his eyes filling once again with unclear conscience.
Buffy gazed at him. She felt growing sympathy in her, and she almost forgave him. But mental flashbacks of everything he did made her think otherwise. Buffy gave Spike a look, which faintly resembled pity. Hesitantly, she answered. "I forgive you." Buffy said quietly. "But there can never be an us. And it's not because of you. It's because of me. I was using you Spike, using you for emotional release.and other than that, you- hurt me, and I don't want that to happen again."
Spike nodded understandingly which surprised the slayer. "I had a feeling you would say that, friends then?"
Buffy allowed herself a small chuckle. And she thought all her happiness was sucked out of her. "Friends." She agreed taking Spike's hand and shaking it.
A/N: Okay, I think that chapter sucked. It was a little sappy.but anyway, review! Review, REVIEW!!! :-)