Thanks for all the support and feedback for the first three chapters. This is such a fun story to write, and I love all the ideas y'all tell me about in your reviews. Enjoy!

VVVVV

They almost made it to the door unnoticed but were stopped by a man entering the building.

"If you need someone to keep you warm on Christmas Eve while the fat man's away, give me call," he said as he eyed Brennan.

Ice-blue and brown daggers went his way, but neither Brennan nor Booth replied.

"What? Too selfish to share your ho-ho-hos?" the man persisted.

Booth's hand withdrew from its customary place at the small of Brennan's back, and he clenched and unclenched it, trying to contain his anger.

"Want to see if my North Pole is better than his?" the man laughed.

Booth had heard enough and wheeled to face the man. Anger boiled inside him and in four steps he was standing directly in front of the vulgar man.

"You know what, buddy? Show some respect. She's a lady." It took all of Booth's restraint to keep from belting the man right there.

The man, obviously stunned by Booth's outburst, quickly muttered an apology and hurried in the opposite direction.

Booth watched the man flee, then unclenched his fists, cleared his throat, and followed Brennan outside.

"He must be new," Brennan mused.

"Or stupid," Booth replied. "Don't worry, I'll shoot him later."

"Why would you shoot him?" Brennan asked as they quickened their pace.

"Because he was disrespectful to you."

"Booth, that doesn't make any sense. You can't shoot him just because he objectified me. I don't like it either, but they're just words."

"You're my partner, so it's my job to stand up for you. I know you're going to interrupt me and say that you don't need me to defend you, but it's my way of showing that I respect you. That I care about you."

"Just don't shoot him," Brennan said, smiling to herself but deciding not to comment on his declaration.

Booth stopped in front of a vehicle that Brennan didn't recognize.

"Where's the SUV?" she questioned.

"At home. Being Santa isn't exactly FBI business, so I couldn't use the SUV."

She waited for him to unlock the door then she opened it and got in. She closed the door and studied the interior of the older model two-door sports car. It was completely unlike anything she'd ever seen Booth drive, yet it was so…him.

Puzzled as to what was taking Booth so long to get in the car, she turned her head toward the driver's side and laughed. All she could see was Santa Booth's belly, which apparently was too large to fit in the car.

Booth grumbled and sighed wondering what else could go wrong. He tried to duck into the car to readjust the seat, but his excessive mid-drift bulge prevented him from doing so. "Bones, can you lean over here and try to get the seat as far back as possible? Just pull the lever and slide the seat back."

She did as he requested but thought that he still wouldn't have enough room.

Booth sat down in the seat perpendicular to the steering wheel, both feet still on the ground. He put one foot into the car and started turning his body toward the front of the car. Just when he thought he would fit, the padding lodged against the steering wheel and wouldn't budge. Booth grumbled again as he tried to flatten the mass against his real belly, but was unsuccessful in making it any smaller.

Usually stoic and grounded, Brennan found herself unable to control her bubbling laughter. She reached across the console in an effort to help Booth, but it only made her laugh harder.

"This completely sucks," Booth muttered. "This is why Santa has an open sleigh. There's no chance of getting stuck!" He looked at Brennan, who was still laughing, then down at himself. Her laughter was infectious, and he soon busted out laughing too.

They sat there laughing for a solid five minutes. Every time one of them would calm down, they would look at each other and start laughing all over again. They laughed so hard their faces hurt. Finally they regained their composure.

"Now what?" Booth questioned.

"Well, there's two options. Take off the padding or let me drive," Brennan told him.

"Is there another choice?"

"Booth!" she said as she slapped his arm.

"Geez, Bones. I was kidding. And next time you get the urge to hit me, go for the stomach. It seems I've got some extra padding there."

They erupted into another fit of laughter.

Brennan calmed down first and tried to remember the last time she'd laughed that hard. "So what's it going to be, Booth?"

"I'm not taking this thing off," he indicated his belly, "so I guess you'll have to drive."

Brennan's eyes lit up and she climbed from the passenger's seat. She walked around the car and waited for Booth to get out. "I can't believe you're letting me drive."

"I'm not letting you drive," he told her as he struggled to stand up. "I don't fit behind the steering wheel, so you're driving by default. There's a difference." He finally made it into a standing position and glanced down at the key ring in his hand. "Please be careful with her, Bones," he said nervously as he handed her the keys.

"Why do you refer to your car as though it had a gender?" she asked as she took the keys. "It's a thing."

"It's a guy thing. Guys have 'girl' cars, and girls have 'guy' cars." he replied, not believing he was going to have to ride in the passenger's side of his own car.

"That's completely counterintuitive, although there are admittedly things I don't understand about gender stereotypes." She got in the car and moved the seat forward.

"It's like a partnership," Booth told her as he climbed in. The excess belly baggage was still uncomfortable, but at least he fit in the passenger's seat. "A male and female partnership. I'm the male, so that makes the car female."

"There's more than one kind of partnership," Brennan said as she buckled her seatbelt and started the engine.

"Yes, I know. But I was thinking more along the lines of a conventional partnership." Sometimes he thought she argued with him just for the fun of it.

"Like us," Brennan stated as she backed out of the parking space.

Booth chuckled. "I wouldn't exactly call us conventional, but yes, I suppose you're right." He glanced at the clock on the dash. "Oh, crap, Bones. We're really late!"

"It's okay, I'll get us there. You just navigate."

She pulled out of the parking lot and onto the always busy road. Considering it was the Friday before Christmas, traffic wasn't too bad though. At least it was moving.

Booth gave her turn-by-turn directions, and soon they neared Parker's school. Booth pulled on his Santa hat with attached beard. "What do you think?" he asked Brennan.

She quickly glanced at him. "It's better than most. Not that I'm an expert on Santa hats and beards."

"I got this one because I know how sneaky these little kids can be, and I know one of them will try to yank the thing off. If that happens, the hat will be pulled down too, but my identity won't be revealed."

Brennan chuckled. "You put way too much thought into this."

"I just keep telling myself that it's all for Parker."

"Eventually he's going to realize that Santa Claus isn't real, Booth."

"You know, it's never too late to start believing again, Bones."

"Are you talking about God or Santa?"

"Either. Both."

They fell silent as they drove closer to the school. While stopped at a red light, Booth glanced out his window and into the car beside them. There was a boy in the backseat who Booth guessed was a couple of years younger than Parker. The boy's eyes widened upon seeing 'Santa,' and Booth read the boy's lips as he tried to convince his mother that Santa was in the car next to them. Booth got the boy's attention again and put his index finger up to his lips in a 'Shh' gesture. The boy nodded enthusiastically and gave Booth a thumbs-up. Booth returned the motion just as the light turned green.

"What are you doing?" Brennan asked, puzzled.

"Just keeping the spirit alive," Booth said with a smile.

He pointed out the driveway to the school, and they pulled into a parking spot a few moments later. Before Brennan cut off the car, Booth opened the door and stepped from the vehicle with only minor difficulty. Brennan emerged from the car soon after, and they hurried toward the front entrance of the school.

"Where's the rest of your stuff?" Booth questioned. "Wig, hat, glasses?"

"I must have left them in the car. I'll be right back."

She quickly walked back to the car to retrieve the forgotten items. She unlocked the car, slid into the seat, and reached for the bag. The curly white wig went on first, and she tucked stray strands of her own hair into the wig. Brennan put on the floppy red hat next and glanced at herself in the mirror. It wasn't as hideous as she imagined it would be. She added the small wire-rimmed glasses and looked at the mirror once again. She would have gone without the glasses, but she knew Booth would tell her it was part of the image of Mrs. Claus, and she would end up wearing them anyway.

Brennan closed and locked the door and made her way back to an impatient-looking Booth. Her pace quickened and they hurried inside.

VVVVV

Thanks for reading! I know that's a mean place to leave it...

The part about Booth and the kid in the car is based on something that really happened to my dad. He used to dress up like Santa for his work, and as he was driving to work, he had on the entire outfit (including the hat with attached beard), and a kid in the next car next to his went nuts when he saw 'Santa.' I remembered my dad telling me about that, and I knew it would fit nicely into this chapter.

Merry Christmas!