DAY OF THE MOON: 4693-251

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Raoul wasn't in today. It caught my attention how much more relaxed people were and we all took longer breaks than usual. It made me laugh; I did it too. We wasted about two hours on lunch and talked about this and that. I discovered that most of my colleagues are chatterboxes and gossipmongers. Boy, if there is bullshit hidden in a stack of manure they will find it. During those two hours I learned that three of the bosses in the department have screwed their students, I know who is manic-depressive, who is a self-indulgent ass…oh and let's not talk about the company psychologists. I know what happens once you get weary and emotional on their couch. Apparently you get a nice blowjob and a prescription for some anti-depressants… let's not forget the recommendation that you come back for a session at least once a week. All of a sudden you are booked up every other day for about a year. I'd like to see one of those buggers try to get inside of my head. I could tell them stories about my life that would make them label me with every possible deviance and psychological illness they have in their encyclopedias. I once heard Raoul say that most people who become shrinks often do so because they have an underlying disturbance that they desperately want to find out more about. I am beginning to think he is right.

Today, is a full moon. Well, both of them. This tends to drive people nuts. I was planning on going out tonight but I am stuck at this café, where Warreny left me about ten minutes ago. He had to catch the last train home. The café opened fairly recently so, we decided to try it out after work and it's quite nice. The staff has to work on their coffee though. It is a bit too watery for my taste. And, smoking is forbidden in public areas from next week, I can't believe it! I feel like the whole of society is against me. Pretty soon I'll definitely end up going to the shrink to cope with this abstinence. They will label me a complete weirdo; that's what Warreny claims.

No matter, that's what people have been telling me my whole life. First, to be so sick in the head that I'd give up my ability to have sex ever again just for the sake of money, then coping with a sadistic master for the sake of a good reference and, once again, money, and then becoming a dealer and selling off or setting up my own kin just for the sake of money. Come to think of it, my whole life has been about money. Even this job is about money. On the other hand, I never said I suffered from any kinds of scruples. LOL

Mmm… the waitress (which was unusual) just brought in my "Passion cake". I love that. Carrot cake with lemon mascarpone filling and icing, and cinnamon chips scattered on the top. I can't get enough of it. Maybe I should have eaten proper food instead. Well, in about 30 minutes this place will be closing and then I'll go get something else.

The Game Tree is a nice restaurant. I stumbled on it on my way home and just tried a dish from their menu. A quarter of a medium spiced chicken with risotto and corn on the cob, all prepared on the grill. However, this quarter of a chicken is the biggest I've seen yet, so either they gave me a bigger piece than what was intended or this birdie comes straight from Raoul's genetic recombinations lab. There is chicken and there is chicken, and this is a monster-chicken. The taste is good though… and my keyboard is getting sticky…

"Would you like anything else?"

"Oh, yes, a double shot espresso…and some company instead of just talking to a computer, no one else in here does…no normal person at least."

Nah, I didn't say that last part, but I see the guy sitting at the table next to me giving me inviting looks. I bet he would like to sit here and chat. Well, well, well, I would like that too. He has blue eyes, black hair, and a terrific smile. However, I don't think he will be particularly happy about me lacking what he wants – unless he is a giver.

Hello sweetheart… yep, you can suck on that ice cream as much as you want, but you are going home alone tonight... and I'll keep on sipping on my coffee.

By Jupiter's grace! A quick note while he is in the restroom. I can't believe it, he really dared to approach me as he passed by my table on his way.

Quick info: Six feet and some inches tall, black hair (wrote that before), grey eyes actually not blue (error before), lips full and kissable, broad shoulders and generally nice bone structure although a bit skinny, velvet skin, and his name is Matthew. To be continued…

DAY OFF: 4693-252

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I guess I was wrong about Mathew. He didn't mind me lacking what he wanted. He simply took what he wanted and I can hardly sit today – I don't mind it too much though. It was nice; besides, it's been quite a while since I had a lover and everything tightens up when unused for too long. I am surprised it hadn't sealed up completely.

I am now officially among those who turn crazy when the moons are full. After the Game Tree we went to rent a horror movie. Not exactly what would usually get one in the mood, but this guy was really something. He laughed through the entire movie. At times I was questioning his sanity… and mine for agreeing to spend the night with him. But he was a terrific lover. He wasn't able to make me come, but I enjoyed every second of it. I don't know why, but he kept on missing that vital little part that is so important for us eunuchs. Well, I guess it is a trick in itself. At times like these I feel like a woman. I can complain for hours about bad lovers. "He just doesn't take the time to…"

I guess it is just as much my fault as it is his. I could have been the one on top, but I enjoyed seeing his face and feeling the weight of his body. His back was really smooth and his bottom was very fleshy and firm. I bet he does some kind of sport. I can't remember if he had mentioned anything about that. I was too drunk…and so was he.

I went shopping for food, but decided to eat out. I hate my new apartment. It is grand and big and Raoul is paying for it, but it's too quiet and too lonely at times. I am thinking about moving in with some people instead of staying here. Although I will have to pay for it, and apartments in the capital are really expensive, I won't mind having a few nutty flat mates to annoy… or to have someone else annoy me. That was pretty good when I used to work for Iason. I had my room next to Kay. He was a short-tempered little brat, noisy and obnoxious, and knew exactly how to drive Iason out of his mind. If Kay had stayed just one more year at Iason's residence, the great Blondie would have had to reconstruct the worn out cartilage in his elbow for all the punishments he was forced to hand out. I smile each time I think about Kay. I wonder what he is doing now? He hated Iason's place. Well, at times, so did I…

Looked at an ad at Flats-n-Mates and found one that seems very interesting. Quick note: 350 a month, sharing with three others, a ten minute walk from work, and five minutes from the mega-station underground system. Perfect. I will answer it immediately. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.