It's just one of those days… Chapter 4
A/N I'm so incredibly bored right now, but I don't feel like writing… But I'm going to anyway… I'd much rather be reading Home stuck, but whatever.
Haha Misery business by Paramore is so in your face; 'Once a whore you're nothing more I'm sorry, that'll never change', trololol.
MAKE SURE TO REVIEW YOU SEXY BASTARDS.
- It just feels so good -
"Oh my God, I just realised something!"
"What now bitch?" Hidan grumbled.
"I LOVE YOU GUYS, HOW HAVE I NOT HUGGED YOU YET!"
"Because we would kill you." Said Sasori slowly (try say that 3 times fast!). I frowned and leaned back in my chair.
"That's no fair." I sighed. "Well then, we'll be leaving now." I got to my feet and Jess gave me a look, but stood up anyway.
"Sit down." Said Itachi.
"Seriously? Okay dude, 1; your voice is incredibly sexy." He gave me a look of utter contempt. "2; there is literally nothing to do here, 3; we will continue to annoy you to no end until we get to leave." Pein looked at me silently with a scowl.
"Just leave." He growled. I smiled happily and collected my laptop.
"Okay, one last thing; tomato." And on that very strange sentence I left. My stomach made a noise that resembled a dying whale.
"I'm hungry." Jess stated simply. She had picked up the cricket bat again so we decided to go raid the school canteen. The area was strangely quiet, but in a tense way.
"Where is everyone?" I asked Jess. She shrugged.
"Remember what Itachi said? Apocalypse plan." Ah, that's right. The apocalypse plan. One day (While being fucking morons) we devised a plan for what we would do if the zombie apocalypse began while we were at school one day. Meant as a joke, obviously, but we all still remember it. It's a pretty good plan.
Go to woodwork classrooms and get pointy things.
Alert everyone in the school (evidence needed. If they don't believe us, shove one of the school sluts to the zombies and make everyone watch. Repeat when necessary).
Set up strategic camp spots where there is a mix of frightened idiots and people with pointy things to act as guards while the frightened idiots attempt to contact the police.
Gather food from cafeteria/medical supplies from the sick bay and distribute it evenly throughout the different groups.
Either wait it out/kill shit/commit suicide/make zombie documentary.
We have it written in our school diaries and everything, okay? Stop laughing at me.
"Are they serious?" I facepalmed. This was really only in case of zombies. Ninjas are a whole other ball game. "Well, everyone is cowering in terror, right? So next they'll be doing step 4." Just as I said this, I heard quiet footsteps approach Jess and I. It was Anastasia again, as well as Stephanie (China) and Linh. Stacy wielded a rather mean looking baseball bat made of what appeared to be steel. I saw the fluorescent pink paper stuck around their wrists.
"Oh, hey Georgia, Jess!" Said Linh with a small wave.
"Did Itachi put you guys up to this?" Jess stifled laughter.
"Nope, it was Dave." Said Stephanie. I was momentarily confused before I started laughing.
"OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU MEANT DAVE STRIDER FOR A SECOND THERE!" I laughed. Stephanie tried to contain her amusement but completely failed. "OKAY, OKAY, THIS IS TOTALLY NOT THE TIME TO LAUGH ABOUT HOMESTUCK." I calmed myself down. "Right, Pein might start looking for us." Stacy stared at me.
"Wait, what!"
"… You did see the Akatsuki sitting at the table, right?" They all shook their heads slowly at Jess. "Well, that explains why you weren't going bat-shit-cray-cray over them."
"WAIT, SO SASORI IS…?" I nodded. "AND KONAN IS…?"
"Yup."
"Oh dude what the fuck. That is bull shit." She looked at us in horror and I just shrugged. I slid over the bench into the kitchen and grabbed a few sandwiches.
"Do you think they want food?" I asked Linh (who kept laughing then staring at me like I was crazy).
"DUDE, DON'T TAKE ANY FOOD!" Stephanie stopped me from taking the sandwiches and scowled at me in a very non-threatening way. Probably because it was difficult to be terrified of her. "I already know you're crazy, so I'm not going to comment on the Akatsuki. But WE NEED TO DIVIDE ALL THIS FOOD INTO EQUAL PORTAINS." I pouted but didn't object.
"Akatsuki… Akatsuki… In the… Akatsuki… No zombies… Sasori…" Stacy continued to mumble to herself.
"Gurl you gone cray-cray." Said Jess, snapping her fingers in a 'Z' shape. I laughed again. Linh took me buy the shoulders and shook me.
"HOW CAN YOU BE LAUGHING IN THIS SITUATION!" This made me pause. Why was I so fine with this? I mean, these two are going ape-shit and they haven't even seen them yet. Am I really so desensitised to them? I don't know, I mean, I guess I'm having mood swings. Like, crying and then laughing then being serious and then I-don't-even-know-anymore… Yeah, I've probably cracked.
"BECAUSE THE STICK THAT WAS SERVING AS MY BRAIN HAS FINALLY SNAPPED." I shouted at Linh. Another figure joined us. It was Michael and he too, had a ridiculous pink bracelet. Stephanie was busy muttering things and banging around in the kitchen to notice us.
"Oh, hey Georgia! Have you seen Adrianne?" He asked quietly.
"Last I saw her you two were making out like, 5 minutes ago." He nodded distantly and looked at Anastasia and Linh, who were currently freaking out.
"Uh, what's wrong with them?" He pointed.
"De gone cray-cray girlfriend mm hmmmmm."
"Jess stop being a sassy ghetto girl and help me in here!" Stephanie yelled.
"Bitch I'm fabulous." Jess flicked her blond hair over her shoulder and skipped over to the kitchen. Michael gave me a look.
"Shouldn't we be quiet? Isn't there like, zombies or something out there?" I shook my head with a small smile.
"Nope, just ninjas." He looked at me for a moment.
"… What?"
"The Akatsuki have taken over our school and are probably going to go kill some bitches soon, so we're getting snacks." It took him a moment to process this information.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS! SASORI!" He asked me with wide eyes.
"YUP." Michael forgot all about his girlfriend (he'll pay for that when Adrianne finds him fanboying over the Akatsuki) and started freaking out. Stacy finally calmed down and turned to face me with a big grin.
"Can I meet them?" She asked me with raised eyebrows.
"ME TOO PLEASE!" Michael asked furiously. Linh just sat down at one of the many (dirty) tables and looked deep in thought.
"Um…" I looked towards Jess, who was helping China work out the exact amount that each group got. "I guess so…" They cheered and grabbed my arm, dragging me towards the staircase. I grabbed Linh on the way. "JESSI'LLBEINTHEBOARDROOMBYE."
"NO! COME BACK!" I heard her yell. All too soon we were outside the boardroom. I sighed and opened the door with Stacy, Linh and Michael trailing behind me nervously. Needless to say, nobody looked impressed.
"So um, right, I didn't know that you guys like, I don't know, hid your presence from them, so, when I said you were here, they kinda, um, flipped the fuck out? And they wanted to meet you? Because they love you? So… Please don't kill them." I shielded my friends as Pein stared at me with amusement.
"I am above caring or understanding you at this point." He sighed.
"Oh, right, you guys are from a very popular book and… Well…" They stared at me like I had reached a new level of retarded. "… They like you guys… This is a nice sentiment really, because in the book you're… All… Bad guys…" Kakuzu facepalmed while Hidan cheered; pleased that he was popular. I'm fairly certain the noise Linh made wasn't human. "So um… Yeah." Konan sighed quietly.
"Hello, I'm Konan. It's nice to meet you." She said softly. Pein raised an eyebrow. "The quicker we interact the quicker they leave." Pein grumbled something incoherent.
"Fine, I'm Leader." He sneered. I think Michael just died.
"I'm Hidan. CONVERT TO JASHINISM BEFORE I TEAR OUT YOUR SPLEEN." I heard Stacy laugh. Yes, she did not giggle. Stacy does not giggle, she is Anastasia; destroyer of worlds. Wow, did I seriously just think that? WELL OKAY THEN.
"Shut up Hidan." Kakuzu growled. "I'll tell you my name for $10."
"And I'm Hoshigaki Kisame~ Haha, I didn't know we were popular, eh Itachi?"
"Hn…" Kisame rolled his eyes.
"I'M TOBI~! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, ISN'T HE SENPAI?" Tobi did a little dance as he asked Deidara.
"I will blow you up if you touch me, hm." He scolded Tobi. "I'm Deidara; I'll blow you up too." He warned me. I nodded solemnly.
"I'm Suigetsu." Suigetsu looked at Linh suggestively (SORRY LINH).
"I'm Karin. This is Jugo and Sasuke-Kun~" I resisted the urge to bitch slap Karin across the face.
"We are Zetsu. You look tasty." I gave him a nervous grin.
"Okay, I'm Sasori." He looked at my friends as if they were ants. Stacy finally plucked up the courage to speak.
"I, um, really like your art, Sasori." She suppressed a smile. Sasori blinked slowly, something sparked in his eyes and he smiled lazily.
"Is it better than the brat's?" Stacy turned pink.
"Well, I think so, yeah…" Deidara frowned and a vein popped on his forehead.
"FUCK NO! ART IS FLEETING, HM!" Deidara pulled out some clay and began shaping it into something. Sasori's smirk widened as he summoned a puppet.
"Oh you want to go, do you? Bring it!"
"WOOT! GO DEIDARA! ART IS AN EXPLOSION!" I cheered.
"BULLSHIT! ART IS ETERNAL!" Yelled Michael. Stacy joined Michael and Linh backed me up.
"Not this shit again." Pein muttered. "Stop you fuck-tards." They couldn't hear Pein over their trash talk.
"Fuck you, brat!"
"No, fuck you Danna, hm!"
"If I wanted my own comeback I would have whipped it off your mum's chin!" Yelled Sasori. Jess appeared at the door now.
"Oh no he DI-ENT!" Said Jess.
"Ooooooh!" Chorused Michael, Linh and Stacy.
"Davey Jooooones!" Deidara and Sasori stopped fighting to stare at me. "What? What did I say? "
Jess and Stephanie joined us now. China was holding a Wok and ladle, apparently just about to cook something before she came looking for us
"I said…" Pein stood up menacingly. "STOP YOU LITTLE SHITS." There was silence in the room now. I don't like awkward silences.
"Davey Jooooones…" I said quietly, much to everyone's amusement.
"FINE, LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE, HM!" Deidara grabbed Sasori by the collar and shoved Stephanie out of the way as the busted open the door. Big mistake. I take back what I said about China not being scary. She grabbed Deidara by his (girly-ass) hair and yanked him back into the room. She swung down the Wok upon his head and kicked him in the… Vital regions… Linh loomed over him with a look that could only be described as murderous hate. She snatched the steel baseball bat from Anastasia and leaned towards him.
"You messed with the wrong country mother fucker." Deidara looked a bit scared so I pulled her away from him. Linh is a bit protective of her friends.
"DON'T HURT DEIDARA HE'S TOO SEXY TO DIE." I scolded Linh. The Akatsuki – the criminally insane badass cool and sexy you-don't-mess-with-us-beeyotch Akatsuki – were in absolute hysterics at this point.
"Crazy women…" Muttered Deidara as he turned pink, I'm not sure whether from the embarrassment of defeat or the presence of my pretty friends. It appeared that he had forgotten about the art dispute for now.
"You guys will be the death of me…" I laughed softly. I'm not sure if I meant that literally or metaphorically, but I knew that there would be blood.
- Oh I beg your pardon! Wasn't nonsense what we had? -
A/N I've started drinking coffee, so that's probably why this is completely cray-cray. I'm not used to going this far into a fanfiction without someone being adorable. Also, the Akatsuki are usually cooler than this, but again, I've had coffee. And medication for my cold. AT LEAST I HAVEN'T COMPLETELY LOST IT- OH LOOK, A SILVER UNICORN!
Love always,
The 5th ARISU