Chapter 4:

We were silent the whole way to the drug store. Rose was fidgetting and crying quietly. I took her hand in mine and said, "Everything is going to be okay," I said. I truely believe that Rose can get through this. "How can you know?" she asked.

"I am going to tell you something I have not told anyone alive. Not even Edward. Can you keep a secret?" she semi-smiled in encouragment while nodding.

"When I was 13 I had been assulted by someone at school. They messed with me only verbally at first but then things started to get physical. I tried pushing him off of me, but he wouldn't stop," I started to almost cry. (A/N: I MEANT TO PUT THIS RIGHT HERE. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY BELLA DIDN'T MAKE FRIENDS UNTIL SHE MET EDWARD..)

"One day I was wearing a skirt and he decided to 'take the next step' he would say. He pinned me to the ground and I think you know what happened..." Rose looked at me in complete shock. I smiled, putting my brave face on. "I can't change the past, but I know that Edward will be there for me in the future. The only reason I say nobody knows is because I told my mother and it doesn't look like she is waking up soon," I said while laughing a bit unhumorusly.

"Oh my goodness....Bella," she said and I looked at her with tears blurring my vision.

"It's okay, honest Rose. I just wanted to tell you this because I have been here. Here as in sitting outside of a drug store awaiting to see the fate of the future. Emmett is a great guy and he will be there with you through anything. He loves you. I love you too Rose, so don't for one second think you are in this alone, okay?" she nodded slowly.

"What happened?" Rose asked me.

"I didn't get pregnant, which was a huge relief. But after I told my mom she sent me to a different school. And when he caught up with me there when I was almost 16 my mom just gave up and sent me to live with Charlie," I said. "So now I am a little worried about living in Arizona again. But I know I am safe with you guys,"

"What was his name?"

"Jacob," I said. "Now come on lets go in before they close," I was wiping away another tear and Rose pulled me into a hug. I can't believe I just told her, but it feels good to have another person know.

"Bella? I think that might be something to tell Edward..."

"It is a little too late now. He would kill me if he just found out. Or even worse, he would leave me," I said while another tear fell.

"He loves you. I know that you know that. He will be there for you. Please? For me? I just need to know everything will be okay....after all if this kid attacks you again I cannot risk breaking a nail," I cringed at the thought of this. But it was also funny. I guess I should tell Edward.

After buying the pregnancy test we went to the bathroom and are now waiting for the minutes to pass.

"Ugh! It takes forever! I am dying here!" Rose said. I looked down and one line appeared. I smiled a little bit happy to know she will be okay.

"Well I don't know what kind of news this is, but you are not pregnant. Now relax, okay?" I said.

She sighed with relief and gave me a big hug. "Thank you so much Bella. I couldn't do the without you,"

"Anytime Rose. And if I am going to tell Edward do you think it is okay if I start out by saying that we were in front of the drug store...," I asked not quite sure how to start.

"You can tell him about me. Just tell him not to tell anyone, okay?" I smiled and nodded. We were walking back into the house and both checked to make sure we didn't look too bad.

Edward was still up watching TV. He didn't notice me at first and a tear fell from my eye knwoing that I should tell him right now. It would only make sense. He saw me and instantly got worried. "Whats wrong Bella?" He came over and wrapped his arms around me.

"I need to tell you something," I started and he nodded in encouragement.

"When you were in the shower Rose came in here crying. She said she was late so I told her we would run to the drugs store to get a pregnancy test. She is not pregnant by the way, just a little scare. When we were sitting outside I wanted to comfort her so I told her a piece of my past that will haunt me forever..." another tear fell and he said, "You can tell me anything,"

"Okay, but I am holding you to your promise that you made on your birthday. The one that said you would never leave me," I started crying and he craddled me into his ams.

"Of course. What id going on? Please talk to me," so I did. I told him everything. After I was finished I cried until there were no more tears to shed. He just sat there holding me and telling me that everything was going to be okay.

"You are not mad?" I asked.

"Of course not. I am mad at the guy who did this to you, but there is not reason to be mad at you. I can't believe you would think I would leave you. I love you so much you have no idea," I just sighed and held onto him tightly in a hug.

"I'm scared," I choked out. And that was the truth. I had totally forgotten we are now living in Arizona. I tensed.

"Shh.. its okay Bella. I'm here," he said.

"What if he gets to me again? What if he finds me?" I asked.

"Then we will leave and I will protect you with everything I am," he said.

"Okay," I said and he carried me to the bed and took off my jeans as I let sleep overcome me.

I was having a nightmare. Jacob was talking to me and kept telling me that he was glad I came back to him and he started feeling me up. I screamed 'NO!' and woke myself up. I was sweating and shaking because I was so cold. Edward woke up to my screaming as well.

"Bella?" he said.

"I'm okay," I said. "Just a bad dream," he looked at me.

"You don't look so good. Are you sure?" After he said that I felt everything in my stomach start to rise up and went to the bathroom and puked everything up into the toliet. Edward was holding my hair out of my face while this occured. When I felt like nothing else was left in me I Stood up to brush my teeth lazily and then collapsed on the bathroom floor in Edward's arms.

"Must have been some dream," Edward said sadly.

"It was about him," I couldn't say his name. I didn't want to. "I am so sorry. You can go back to sleep I am just gonna go get some water. I didn't mean to wake you."

Edward just groaned and said, "Bella, please don't push me away. I want to be there for you. Even if it means you have to throw up all over me or scream when you wake up from a dream. Just let me be there."

I just started crying and hugged him for dear life. I hated for him to see me this way, but he wanted to be let in. This is how it felt.

"It has been about 3 years and look at me. I havn't even talked about it ever since my mom died. She was my support system. I barely ever brought it up with her. I just pushed it to the back of my mind hoping I wouldn't have to face it. I knew I needed to tell you, but it felt too late, but too soon at the same time. When Rose needed me I felt the urge to tell her because she didn't know how lucky she was to have Emmett. I wanted her to see that everything is going to be okay because everything turned out perfectly okay for me. I know it was wrong of me to ignore it and pretend it never happened, but honestly, what would have been my other choice? Sit around and feel hurt and humiliated? That is not what I wanted so I went to Charlie's extremely happy to move on and leave the past behind. But now I know that it will always somehow have to catch up to you. I don't mean to push you away, but I just don't want you to have to see me like this."

It was then that I realized Edward was crying as well. I lifted his chin up and ran my fingers through his hair giving him a small smile.

"I am so sorry, Bella," Edward said.

I looked into his eyes and said, "The past is the past and there is nothing I can do about it now. I need to let go and move on to the future. Will you help me?"

"Of course," he whispered.

"Good. Now lets get up and have some peanut butter with chocolate and sprinkles. That always cheers me up. And now I am really hungry. Come on!" I said. He half heartedly smiled and stood up.

I got out all the supplize and decided to have a little fun. I could use it and so could he. He had his back faced to me with his elbows on the counter tops.

I snuck up behind him with chocolate syrup on the finger and traced it arond his neck and then he turned around and said, "That wasn't very nice,"

"Sorry," I said not sorry at all. "Here let me help you clean that up," I went up to him and licked the chocolate off his neck and sucked it a little earning a moan from him. I just smiled against his skin and wrapped my arms around him.

"Everything is going to be okay," I said trying to convince him and me for that matter. He held me even closer and I just snuggled into his chest. After having a spoonful of peanut butter and chocolate with sprinkles on top we headed up to bed again. It was only 3 in the morning and I was super tired.

"Good night, Edward. I love you and there is nothing you can do. It was not your fault so please believe me and tell me that nothing is going to change between us..," I said as I felt a tear fall. I didn't want him leaving me because of this. "Just don't blame yourself, okay?"

"Bella, I am not going to leave you. I could not bear losing you. This will only make us stronger. I now realize there is nothing that I could have done to protect you and I am very truly sorry that happened. I am glad you felt the need to tell me and trust me," he said.

"Of course I trust you, Edward. I just didn't know how or when to tell you. There is never a right time to explain something like this to a person unless you were in Rosalie's case," I don't think he knows how much it is hurting me to see him hurt for me.

He leaned down and kissed me deeply and if it were possible to show how you feel in a kiss, Edward told me just that. He is sad and angry that this happened. He is filled with so much trust and love for me that he doesn't know what do do in this situation and is very confused. I tried kissing him in a way that said I will love him no matter what and that everything is okay. We just have to move through this.

I put my fingers in his hair and smoothed it out while tugging and pulling on the knots. We pulled apart for much needed air and he ran kisses down my neck. I rolled him over and cuddled against his chest. "I just want to be held tonight. If people wake me up in the morning I am going to be so pissed," I said while laughing. I felt him laugh and looked up to see his beautiful smile. I kissed him on the lips and he told me, "I love you. Now get some sleep, Bella. I will kick pixie butt if she tries to wake you up," I smiled and kissed him on the chest while getting comfortable and drifting off into a dreamless sleep.