Jasper
Jasper isn't allowed to...
Own a puppy
Send waves of lust at Edward and Bella while Renesmee is with them
Have fun with Alice on Edward's piano (No one is really allowed to do that just to clarify)
Show Renesmee his several vampire bite scars as a bedtime story
Slap Bella's butt
Punch Edward in the coconuts
Sing "Oops I did it again" at any time or place
Ever dress in his old military uniform and say, "I'M MAJOR CHILL PILL, HOO-HAH!"
Sing at birthday parties
Dress as a clown and say, "Hi kids, I'm Emomoo the clown."
Hide in a corner with Alice (Things could happen)
Ever use a skipping rope
Sing the song "Jingle Bombs", "Santa's Got a Sniper Rifle" or "Santa Claus is Hunting, You Down"
Pretend to be a showgirl
Talk to any electronic appliances
Own a warm-blooded pet of any kind
Wrestle with Emmett in Esme and Carlisle's room
Make Renesmee want to kiss Jacob using his power (Edward would get really pissed off)
Go to junior high and pose as an eighth grader (It probably wouldn't work, but it could happen)
Stuff people in garbage cans