Hello, everyone. Here I am again, procrastinating as usual with - that's right! - another chapter of Truth Epidemic! I've been without internet for a while, thus was unable upload any new stories - and, I haven't written any more fanfiction. I do realize that this is North Ryoshima Coast, and that I haven't done the southern Ryoshima Coast. I did that on purpose. As with Agata Forest, there weren't many characters at Ryoshima Coast that had... oh, I don't know, comedy potential. Anyway, enjoy this for now! I might even go to Kamui with this, if you guys review enough...
North Ryoshima Coast
Yes, the all-revealing, trouble-causing truth epidemic spread to even the far shores of North Ryoshima Coast. Though it took some time for the "disease" to arrive, soon the people of the peaceful coast were unwillingly speaking their minds.
This time, the country bumpkin Urashima—once trapped in youth, now an old man as he was supposed to be thanks to the goddess Amaterasu—caught it first. He was simply strolling casually on the beach when he caught sight of two wolves, one with golden fur and the other with white, huddling close to one another in what seemed to him an adorable puppy's embrace. "D'aw, how cute!" he exclaimed in his Southern drawl. "Look at dem cuddlin' and bein' all adorable!" Then he realized what they were actually doing—things that shouldn't be mentioned in a story rated K for young children. "Oh, that's not right," Urashima muttered to himself, walking away.
Meanwhile, Ammy had noticed the attention she and Waka had attracted. She wriggled out from beneath Waka, and the prophet-turned-wolf complained with an "Oof!" as he fell to the ground. "Can't a couple of wolves get any privacy around here?" Ammy grumbled, irritated at having been interrupted.
"I suppose not, ma chérie," Waka answered, shaking the sand out of his fur.
Ammy let out a dramatic sigh. "Let's go, then."
The two wolves meandered through North Ryoshima, searching for a more secluded place. After all, they both desired to be alone. Together. They passed by the fishing dock, and by chance encountered one of Ammy's old friends.
Orca, Ammy's fishy friend, waded in the water near the dock, waiting. The missionary of the legendary Dragon Palace would only take someone to the kingdom beneath the waves if they were worthy, chosen. At one time, Ammy had been chosen. Was she still worthy enough? She should be; she was a goddess, after all!
"Hey, Orca!" Ammy greeted the whale. "I'd like to know—"
She was interrupted by Urashima, who yet seemed convinced that Orca had come for him. Yes, he was chosen at one time, but he was no longer worthy; Orca had already made this clear to him by flinging him into the sea with a simple tail-flick. But it seemed that the old man hadn't learned his lesson. He insisted, "Orca! You've come for me again at last! After all these years!" He ran—well, power-walked, as he couldn't run as old as he was—down the length of the dock, expecting a joyous reunion.
"I don't think so, bub!" Orca said quite sternly—and unexpectedly. Orca had never spoken to anyone like that before. "You idiot! Learn your lesson, already!" he ranted as he launched Urashima into the air with a flick of his tail as he had last time, sending the old man flying into the ocean.
"I just wanted to say hiiiiii . . . !" Urashima yelled as he flew into the distance, further and further away before landing with a great splash in the ocean far away.
" . . . Well, that takes care of that, I guess," Ammy said, somewhat disturbed by Orca's display of anger. She'd never seen him angry at all. Then a rare flash of inspiration distracted her. "Anyway . . . Would there be any chance that you could take me to the Dragon Palace?" The Dragon Palace was perfect. She and Waka could spend all the time they wanted alone. Together. "I'd just like to show Waka here that place. It's really pretty there and all. Please?"
"But I've already been to—" Waka started to say. Ammy silenced him with her "shut up" look. "I am shut upping now."
"Nope," Orca said simply. "You can't. You're not worthy anymore. I'm here for someone else."
"What?" Ammy exclaimed incredulously. "I can't be not worthy! I'm a goddess! A goddess! How can I be not worthy?"
"Only the chosen one can go to the Dragon Palace."
"And who is the chosen one?"
Orca produced a sheet of paper that somehow wasn't wet despite being in the water. "Oh! How is that paper not wet?" Ammy asked, golden eyes wide with wonder.
"It's laminated," Orca replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh. That makes sense."
Orca's eyes turned to the laminated paper, scanning the document. "Let's see . . . Today's chosen one is . . . Chuck Norris."
Ammy's eyes widened again, this time with disbelief. "Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris? That's not possible! I am outraged! How can Chuck Norris be better than me?" Then she paused as she thought about it. "Wait . . . Who's Chuck Norris?"
"I have no idea," Waka said.
"Yeah, I'm not so sure, either," Orca admitted. "But I heard he's so epicly awesome, he can't help but be the chosen one! Producing companies, sports teams, and teenagers everywhere . . . He's chosen by everyone!"
"You lost me," Ammy said. "What in the world are you talking about?"
"No clue. But that's what it says on this paper here, and they told me that I must abide by this paper!"
"Who's 'they'?"
"Some dudes in strange clothes who came in some weird machine."
"Ah. You can always trust dudes in strange clothes. Trust me, I know." Ammy gave a sidelong glance to Waka.
"I'll take your word for it."
A silence came between them. Ammy decided to break it by asking once more, "Can't you take us to the Dragon Palace just once? Rules are meant to be bent, right?"
"Wrong. Rules are rules."
"Oh, alright. I guess we'll just have to go somewhere else, then . . ." She feigned walking away, leaving for good. Then, when she was convinced that Orca had dropped his guard, she whirled around and pounced on him. "You will take us to the Dragon Palace, if it's the last thing you do!"
"No, I won't!" Just as easily as he had flung Urashima, Orca flicked Ammy away with his tail and sent her flying.
She splashed into the ocean just as Urashima had, though he was nowhere to be seen. She floated there in the water a moment, fuming about her foiled attempt to force Orca to take her and Waka to the Dragon Palace. Then she realized something: she's not a strong swimmer. If she stayed in the water much longer, she'd surely drown. She suddenly became a whirlwind of flailing limbs as she struggled to stay afloat. "Help! Somebody!" she cried.
"Amaterasu! I'll save you!" Waka declared bravely. But instead of using his special prophetic abilities to walk across the water to her, he decided to go the way she went. He sprinted towards Orca, and shouted, "Take me to the Dragon Palace!"
"No way, José!" Orca shouted back, and again flung the unworthy person to the water. A moment after he heard the splash, Orca sighed and said to himself, "I need a new job."
Waka swam to Ammy and said, "I'm here to rescue you, ma chérie!"
Ammy stopped her flailing, looked at him and replied, in a deadpan tone, "That's great, but how exactly do you plan on doing that?"
Waka stared blankly at her for a moment. "Uh . . . I don't know," he admitted.
"That's just peachy."
"What do peaches have to do with this? Anyway, I was just thinking in the spur of the moment," he said by way of unnecessary explanation. "I . . . didn't really think ahead of jumping in to save you. I'm an idiot. Go ahead and smack me upside the head; I know you want to."
"Well, if you insist . . ." Ammy raised her paw and delivered a sharp blow to the side of his head.
"Thanks, ma chérie," Waka said with partial sarcasm.
"It was my pleasure," she replied with no sarcasm. She then sighed. "Now what are we going to do? We're too far away from the shore to swim back, and we're going to drown if no one comes . . ."
Another voice, neither Ammy's nor Waka's, cut in. "May I be of assistance to you?" Out of the water emerged the owner of the voice: Queen Otohime of the Dragonians. She normally stayed within her Dragon Palace, but she always came when someone like Amaterasu—someone whom she had either befriended or owed a debt to; Amaterasu happened to be both—needed her.
Ammy was more than glad to see Otohime—but was also peeved by the Dragonian Queen's obvious question. She answered with heavy sarcasm, "No, we're just enjoying a leisurely swim out in the middle of the ocean." She pounded the water angrily, causing a big splash. "What does it look like to you? Of course we need your help! We're drowning!"
"Oh! Of course!" The beautiful woman then transformed from her lovely humanoid form into a true creature of the sea, a Water Dragon. "Here, climb onto my tail." She offered her long, swishing tail to the drowning wolves. Both wolves gratefully mounted her tail and held on for dear life. "How did this happen, Amaterasu? How did you end up here?"
"That missionary of yours over there flung us here!" Ammy barked, glaring in the direction she knew Orca was. "He could have killed us and everything!"
"Oh, not again," Otohime murmured to herself. "Why does this keep happening? I tell the missionaries to turn away the unworthy, not fling them! But they never listen. It seems that they believe that's the only way to keep them away. Oh, but there has to be a better way. Every single time, it's this—" absentmindedly she flicked her own tail, loosening the wolves' grip on it "—and that—" she flicked her tail again, this time sending both wolves flying as Orca had "—and I am positively sick of it! I mean, it'd be nice if I could keep one of my missionaries for a while!" Only when she finished her rant did Otohime notice Waka and Ammy's absence. "Amaterasu? Waka? Where'd you go?"
A little distance away, Ammy was again flailing in the water, with Waka flailing next to her. "Over here!" Ammy responded irritably. "Drowning! AGAIN!"
"Oh! Oh, goodness! I am so sorry, Amaterasu! And to you, too, Waka!" she apologized as she rescued the two wolves once more. "You know, I just get so into my conversations, moving my tail this way and that and I am just so absolutely sorry!"
"That's alright," Ammy forgave her grudgingly. "As long as you don't do it again, we're fine."
"Of course! I won't ever do it again!" But even as she said that, again Otohime flicked her tail without realizing it, and sent the wolves flying once again. "Oops!"
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Ammy growled. She did not like being thrown into the water a third time; she'd thought the first time was enough.
"Right away!" Yet again, Otohime fished the wolves out with her dangerous tail.
"Perhaps you should take us back to shore before you inadvertently attempt to drown us again," Waka offered with a hint of irritancy in his voice.
"Y-Yes, I probably should," Otohime said contritely. "Oh, I feel so stupid! Why do I keep flinging you into the water like that? I don't mean it! I'll try not to have it happen again."
Amazingly, Otohime managed to return Ammy and Waka to shore with only three more tail-flicking incidents. (Needless to say, she wasn't very good at controlling her tail. She'd even chastised it from time to time: "Bad tail! I command that you listen to me!")
"Geez, I though we were going to be drowned for sure," Ammy grumbled as she shook the water from her fur.
"Tell me about it," Waka agreed, also shaking the water out of his fur. "Let's get out of here before she figures out how to drown us on dry land."
Otohime overheard their irritated mumblings, and apologized again, "Oh, I am so very, very sorry! I hope you'll forgive me!"
"Maybe," said Ammy. "Maybe I'll forgive you if you don't do anything like that again."
"Never, ever! Nothing like that will ever happen again!" Otohime promised. Then her uncontrollable tail slapped the water, causing a wave to crash onto shore and drench the two wolves. "Oops again!"
" 'Oops' is right," Ammy mumbled, shaking out her fur once more. "Let's go, Waka."
"Yes, let's," Waka said. The two wolves stormed away without another word.
Otohime turned to her naughty tail once again. "You bad, bad tail!" she chided it. "Why do you insist on betraying me so? Bad tail! I ought to punish you!" As if in response to her chastising, her tail splashed again, this time into her face. "Ugh! Bad tail! Bad, bad tail! No more!" She bit her misbehaving tail, and winced at the pain she'd inflicted upon herself. "Owie . . . Okay, not my best idea . . ."
It was at that moment that Chuck Norris came along, soaring in a jump kick that seemed almost as if he was flying, looking as epic as ever even as he crashed into the water.
Otohime was dumbfounded.
~END~
Hey again! Did you love it? Hate it? Please tell me! Review! And remember what I said about writing another chapter under the condition that you guys review... Okay, bye!