[several pages omitted]

…

I know what you must be thinking, but I never blamed you. Everything happened so that I could meet you again. Someday, I'll be back to normal again and when that time comes, I'll find you once more.

- Hope

Vanille sped past the two of them to clear a space within the shelter, and Fang knelt down beside the unconscious woman preparing to lift her.

"Fang, I can help too." He stepped forward, arms outstretched but he stopped uncertainly when Fang shot him a strange look. It held a mixture of expressions and he didn't know how to read it.

"Not like that you can't. I got this, don't you worry." Like what? She hefted the pink-haired woman easily, arms under her shoulder blades and knees. Was Fang just strong or was Lightning so… light? There was sympathy in her eyes as she looked down at him pointedly.

…down? He held his arms out before him, looked down at his body and his eyes widened with growing horror. It seemed as if a cold wind had pressed its fingers around his neck and down his spine and he sat down in shock as Fang passed him. Dimly, he registered the sounds from inside the shelter. A clack of wood, brush of fur, rip of fabric and water being wrung from a cloth. The sound was comforting somehow, a hold to reality, so he clung to it while he let the initial wave of fear and confusion flow through his mind without overwhelming him. He straightened his fingers, curled his hands closed, and repeated the action for a while. In some manner or for some reason he didn't know, his body had reverted to the size he had been as a l'cie, a thousand years ago. His clothing had changed, to something similar to what he had worn at Bodhum hundreds of years ago. But how? And why? He turned his wrist over.

The mark of the l'cie burned. He almost cried out in fear, but he remembered where he was and reminded himself slowly.

I am no longer a l'cie. We fulfilled our focus a thousand years ago. This is not reality.

To his immense relief, the mark faded away leaving pale unblemished skin. Had he been hallucinating or dreaming? Hope considered his own frame of mind and did some complicated mental arithmetic before deciding that he was most likely lucid.

There are things about this world that we have yet to learn.

Despite his anxiety, he felt a desire to learn more, to explore the world and find out how different it was from the old one they had left behind. A small bubble of excitement surged within him and would have cheered him up considerably if he had forgotten that Lightning was lying unconscious in a makeshift wooden shelter, and they were in a new and primitive world away from the help of medicine and technology.

If I could make the l'cie brand disappear by willing it, maybe I can change my appearance entirely as well.

Carefully he visualized the body he had possessed before Bhunivelze took him. He remembered the memory of having long limbs and hard-won muscle. It was not merely a memory, it was reality. He opened his eyes, and it seemed like it had worked – but then his body seemed to shrink, the colours of his clothes and skin shifting, and he was back to where he had started. Frustration clouded his thoughts and he let out a small sigh before clearing his mind and trying again. He repeated the process several times with varying degrees of success and presently, footsteps sounded behind him. Soft leather on crunchy sand.

The sound snapped him back to the physical world and he set the matter firmly in the back of his mind for turning over when there was not something else at hand. Hope looked up and fixed Fang with eyes that sent a mute but unmistakable appeal and query.

'Relax. She'll be right as day with rest.' She spoke confidently. At her words something inside him seemed to uncoil and relax. He had not known he was holding his breath and now he exhaled slowly. With a soft thump, she sat on the ground beside him, leaning back on the heels of her palms.

'Did some thinking?'

He nodded.

'Our memories and perception of self exert some kind of effect on our current forms. Because I cannot fully remember or believe that I have an adult form, my body has reverted to what I was in Nova Chrysalia.'

"That sounds about what I'm thinking. And Light's out cold now because of her memories as well?"
He nodded uncertainly.

"She held inhuman powers and her body was more than human."

"So she retains the memory of containing inhuman powers, but her body's not built to take that stress anymore."

Again, he nodded mutely. It was the same theory he had decided on. It was back to that again, building on theories without concrete proof. Playing what-if games and trying to sift out the truth. In that moment, he felt as if he were back on Gran Pulse again, leading the research in Academia. He grew a bit taller and shrank back again.

'It won't last forever.'

He raised an eyebrow enquiringly. For an answer she extended her arm. Scars and tattoos appeared and disappeared on her skin, swirls of white and blue-black fading in and out of existence like shadows.

'It's not been as easy to do that today as it was yesterday.'

'So… with time our forms will settle.'

'Yeah.'

'And when that happens…'

'There's no going back.'

For a while, neither of them said anything. Only her words seemed to sound repeatedly in his mind.

No going back.

He clenched his fists subconsciously. At the movement, the dark-haired woman looked up.

"So. What will you do?"

"I…" he paused as if to play for time, but his decision was made and he knew it. "I can't stay."

When he'd said it out, it seemed worse than when he was thinking it. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay with his friends, with the only family he had left, because it made him feel safe.

"When I'm with you guys, it feels like I'm a kid again. I know that you'll always be looking out for me and so I don't want to look out for myself. Maybe that's why I'm in this form now. I'm not sure about this, but who can be sure about anything? It's just something that I have to do. I need to try to fix myself, alone."

"Sounds like a plan. Where will you go?"

He opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted.

"Who's going anywhere?" Vanille whispered fiercely at the both of them. She pressed a hand on each of their shoulders, like she was afraid they would run away from her. He laid his hand on top of hers.

"I am. It's a new world, there's plenty to see."

"We're coming with you!" She tried to look determined, but there was a note of uncertainty in her voice.

"I'm going alone, Vanille."

"You can't!" She burst out. "We'll make you stay, right Fang?"

"Vanille." That was all she said, with a small shake of her head, but something passed between their eyes and it was enough. Vanille bit her lip and said nothing more. Her face began to pucker.

"Don't cry." He didn't know quite what to do or say. Fang put her arm around her comfortingly. "It's just going to be for a while."

"A while…" she echoed back at him.

"Yeah. I'll be back before you know it." He smiled as convincingly as he knew how.

"But we only just found each other again. We haven't had time to do anything fun!" she said petulantly, but the warning signs of tears faded away, and she was only trying to remain obstinately unhappy. Mostly, she was acting mad for the sake of it. It was so nostalgic that he couldn't help but chuckle, eliciting a snort of laughter from Fang. Presently, all three of them were simply laughing away.

"Thank you."

"We didn't do anything." Fang tapped his head lightly with her knuckles. "You found your own path by yourself. When are you leaving?"

"At daybreak."

"Is it okay? Lightning's still…" her voice trailed off.

He shook his head slowly. "No, she doesn't need me hanging around here. I know that she has the strength to get through on her own, and with your care." Even as he said the words, his heart twinged rather painfully, and he dropped his eyes to the ground so that neither one could read the truth written in them. Vanille was beginning to look unhappy again, so he hurried to lighten the atmosphere.

"I'll write you letters. We can be penpals."

At that, her expression brightened visibly, though her tone was still sullen when she enquired "how will we send them?"
He thought for a bit. "We could train monsters to carry our letters. Other travelers might carry a message too."

Vanille clapped her hands excitedly, all traces of sulkiness melted away. The night wore on as they discussed the details of their future monster-correspondence. Fang chipped in with some good suggestion or sarcastic remark to dampen their increasingly impractical plans and ideas. She left every hour or so to check on Lightning, and they talked around a dying fire till early in the morning. In this way, he spent the last night with his friends, on the new planet. They had created a new world, and now they must find a new reason to live on. That night, Hope said goodbye to his old life, and turned his eyes ahead to his new path.

I'm sorry. Some things in life you just do.

"I'll go with you."

When she opened her eyes, the person she wanted to see the most was smiling down at her.

…Serah

Her hand was being warmly held, and she felt safe and cared for. Peacefully, she returned to sleep. The fever had passed at last and she was dreaming normally. Dreams of possibility and happiness.

A/N : Sorry for the long silence! I was hit by dengue fever not long after the last chapter, and life caught up to me. With this chapter, we'll be leaving Hope's perspective for a while now. ): Thanks for reading!