Oh look I'm still alive! Hello y'all~ I'm sorry for the wait, school just started two days ago and it was messy. Thank you to all who reviewed/favorited/story-alerted/read/barely glanced at it. The encouragement helps me feel that its not too OOC-ish. Little Reflection's taking a longer time cuz it has a plot and that I'm either lazy or busy Mapling. *shot*

I heard of a saying that the 'husband' provides three things: Food, Bath and Bed so here it is. I wanna thank my sis for helping out with the Nihon's reply letter and the muffin insult. Love ya Kiara!

Warning: Boy's love, english mistakes, slight OOC-ness, England/Britain's scones, a hint of racist, magical friends and A WHOLE LOAD OF TSUN.

I doesn't own. TTwTT

Food

One of the unspoken rules of the marriage was that Britain never, ever touches anything related to cooking. Well, he could touch them but not actually try to use it of course. Then again, it didn't seem like the Brit would. He appeared to be too lazy to do it, always leaving it to the maids or sometimes Nihon.

So the day when Nihon, who was under the weather, stepped into the kitchen for a snack, he was so shocked that he froze in his steps. It wasn't the Britain in a pink apron that scared him – alright maybe a little – but those monstrous things the blonde called 'scones'. The said snacks of doom sat innocently on a plate, colored in an evil shade of black with smoke rising from it. The Asian nation stared at them with uncharacteristic fear in his red orbs before slowly backing out of the room.

Unfortunately Britain just had to turn from the oven and spot him. Why? It was probably revenge for nearly breaking his nose with the door.

…Then again, it wasn't Nihon's fault that the man was standing right outside the bathroom, who told him to stand so close?

"Oi, I made food" The Englishman murmured sourly, pulling out well burnt scones from the oven with Nihon's favorite kitty mittens.

The dark-haired male nearly choked at the other's last word, crossing his arms. "Were you bored or did the cook quit?"

"I just…had an urge to cook alright?" Britain growled, turning away with a barely visible blush. "It's not as if I made it for you just because you're not feeling well, you hear me? I just wanted to so go get a plate."

"If this is your way of getting back at me, please try harder."

"It is not poisoned I swear."

"I appreciate the offer but I suddenly recall that I have important paperwork to do. Goodbye." Nihon replied and nearly made it out the room when a hand circled around his arm. Shit.

"You will eat. That's an order."

And that's how the two were now sitting at the table with the 'scones' before them. Nihon carefully poked his with a fork, half-expecting it to jump up and eat him. Across him, Britain happily ate his with his tea, looking absolutely fine. The raven was still testing his when the Brit finished three of the overcooked sweet bread. He growled at the shorter man's manners, which was odd since it was normally the other way round.

"Will you stop playing and eat it?"

Nihon looked up and shot him a skeptical look "I'm sorry, was I actually supposed to eat this?"

"Don't push it old man." The blonde grit his teeth, feeling a vein pop.

"And I haven't even tried to poison you yet."

"I assure you that it's not drugged, even I wouldn't fall that low." The Asian hid a grin when Britain's eye kept twitching.

"But I can't taste anything."

"So? Just eat."

"I believe I'm sick enough."

"Are you saying that my cooking sucks?"

"Don't put words in my mouth."

Both nations had a glaring contest, daring the other to back down. The dark aura that was beginning to overflow in the kitchen was suddenly cut off when Nihon sneezed softly. The blonde blinked and passed the other a tissue, earning a mumbled thank you.

"I don't have time to waste auguring about small things like this." The Oriental nation said, sniffing lightly. "Just eat it yourself brat"

Britain glared, although it wasn't as hard as before. "Scared gramps?"

"Not scared, sick. Now if you excuse me." Nihon stood up, pushing in his chair before leaving the room.

He glanced back at the pirate and regretted it. The Asian still saw the hidden disappointment in the Brit's eyes, ignoring the thorn of guilt that was pricking his heart. Luckily, he made it to their room without any problem and took a nap. Nihon was having a weird dream of scones trying to eat when a knock on the door woke him up. A maid came in pushing a trolley, on it was once again, scones but not as black as the previous batch. In fact, these looked like normal bread and almost edible. Almost, because Nihon still didn't trust it.

"My lord requested that you eat something since you didn't have dinner." The young lady said nervously, handing the raven a folded paper before bowing. The oriental nation narrowed his eyes and flips the note open.

I remade them. These ones have red bean paste in them, they are called azuki right? If you don't eat something, I'll come and bloody force feed you. You won't enjoy it so you better eat damn wanker!

Love, Arthur Kirkland

Huffing, Nihon placed the note on the drawer and glared venomously at the food. Although he could feel hunger gnaw at him, the Asian wasn't sure if it was enough to risk it. At least there was tea, he mused as he nodded in thanks to the maid when she passed him a cup of tea. He glared at the murder weapons, half-hoping that it would bust into flames from his glare. Sadly, it didn't so it was either this or actually being force fed by Britain. The raven knew that the saying that the 'husband' brought food to the table, but didn't really think it was this serious.

Reluctantly, Nihon weakly picked up one of the scones. This was not going to end well….

Much later that night, the Brit was in the study when the same maid he sent to Nihon knocked and came in. She greeted him and gave him a letter before quickly leaving. The pirate frowned at her actions but didn't question, opening the note instead. And nearly crush the poor thing while reading it.

Thank you for the food, however from now onwards you are forbidden to do or help out cooking. It was horrible and you should arm your men with them instead of guns. If I start vomiting blood, you are not welcomed to my funeral, husband or not.

"That bastard…" Britain snarled, about to rip the note apart when he noticed that there was more on the other side.

Still, I guess I appreciate the effort. It must have taken much of your time to remake them….

His lips were about to curve into a slight grin but dropped when he kept reading.

But seriously though, this is going to give me nightmares. You shouldn't have burnt that book I gave you. I sincerely hope that you are proud of yourself. Please learn how to really cook or kill yourself from shame.

Kiku Honda.

The blonde gentleman stared at the words for a minute or so. With a poker face, he brought out a lighter and burnt the note. Brushing the ashes aside, Britain finished up his paperwork before heading downstairs to empty the wine cabinet a bit.

Bath

Splash.

…

"Get your foot away before mine finds your ass."

"I'm not touching." A grin. "Still not touching."

"How immature."

"It says gullible on the ceiling."

"Do you really think I'll fall for the same trick twice?"

He shrugs. "Maybe"

…

"Foot. Away. Now." The tone was one of barely contained rage.

"…Heh."

Poke.

"Alright that's it!" More splashing was heard as a katana suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Blimey!" Splash. "Why the bloody hell did you bring that in?!"

"Because unlike you, I do not misplace my toys" Emerald-green eyes narrowed.

"They're not toys, they are lethal weapons!" He pulled out his gun and took aim. "And I do not misplace them. I just tend to forget sometimes."

Both of them readied their weapons, glaring with venom.

...

"We should continue this later, it's too cramped here."

"Agreed, we shall finish this later."

…

Nudge.

Splash.

"Die English muffin!"

Bed

You may not believe, but most of the nights in bed are spent sleeping. It isn't that they didn't have a good stamina, see Britain, but it was because they believed in marriage without sex. And that the first night somewhat left Nihon scarred thus sex was uncommon. Even so, the nights were not peaceful. In fact, it was often awkward for both sides.

The two lay under the covers, trying hard to fall asleep. Nihon couldn't help but keep fidgeting, feeling uncomfortable with a shirtless Brit next to him with nothing but a pillow separating them. It still shocked the oriental how open Europeans were. On the other side of the pillow wall was Britain, who had his eyes shut tightly as he tried to will himself to sleep. However the other's movements kept snapping him awake.

Britain growled before propping himself up with his elbow, "Will you stop moving?! I'm trying to sleep here!"

"Well maybe if you wore more clothes it wouldn't be as hard." A pair of red eyes was still visible in the dark.

"It's too warm you bloody fool!"

"Open the windows or something." Nihon murmured, shifting till his back faced the other.

"The rain will come in." The blonde shot the other a deadpan look despite knowing that it was too dark to see.

"It's always raining here, I hate your home."

"Too bad now stop moving or else I'll throw you out"

"You can't so go to sleep."

"Then quit shifting already—Ow!" The Brit yelped when Nihon kicked his shin.

"Please stop your whining."

"I'm not whining, blood hell…" Britain grumbled, turning away from the raven as well.

A much more comfortable silence than before fell on them. The Englishman was on the edge of sleep while the Asian's breathing started to slow when loud shifting noises were heard. Their eyes snapped open and both sat up.

"Bloody git!"

"Damn dog!"

They paused and stared at each other for a moment.

"Wait a minute, that wasn't you?" The blonde raised a brow.

The dark-haired man shook his head. "I thought you were the one—"

Nihon was cut up when they heard a low thump and the bed shook slightly. The two shared a glance before Britain peeked over the sides of the bed.

"Do you think…?" The Brit began but froze when the other hung over the bed to check underneath. "H-hey, wait!"

He half expected Nihon to shout or something but the Asian simply made an annoyed sound before lying back on the bed.

"Never mind, it was just Ba-kun waiting for us to fall asleep. He was having a play fight with your horse thing."

"Pardon?"

Britain got off the bed and turned on the lamp – "Hey!" – Before peeking under the bed. There was Uni who was wearing a hand-in-the-cookie-jar expression and a weird creature beside him. It was like a huge wild hog with an elephant's trunk and big cat's paws. The thing saw him and squeaked, scrambling behind the unicorn.

"Don't do that, it scares him and off the light." Nihon hissed, glaring from under the blanket.

The pirate shrugged while getting up, he switched off the light and slipped into the covers. "So what is that thing?" He paused "And I thought I was the only one who can see my friends."

"His name is Ba and he is not a 'thing'. Baku eats bad dreams, like your scones, and turns them into good ones."

"…You didn't answer the last one."

"Please just go to sleep before I let him knock you out."

- I went to check out about scones, apparently they put in fillings in them.

- Well...I guess you can say that they were in a bathtub. Why? Either it was 'bonding-time' or they were just bored. I was tempted to use a shower scene instead and that some naughty stuff happens and the water bills go higher but this was more fun to write.

- The Baku is a creature that eats your nightmares, turning them into good dreams or better fortune. To call the Baka, you must say "Baku kurae" three times before sleeping.

- This Japan is from the past, so he still retains some of his magical-friends-seeing ability. He can see his yokai easily but England's ones are harder. They appear blurry or shadowed to his eyes for he is starting to lose this skill.

Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter! X3

Next chapter: Tea.