Hey guys :) Sorry for the long wait but now I am going to aim at uploading every Sunday or every other Sunday. So you might get the next chapter next Sunday (if your lucky and you review ;)) Also thanks for wishing me luck on my maths exam (I forgot to mention in the last authors note) I was thinking also I will be having a little bit of trouble with the rest of the chapters. See I don't actually know anything about Italy. I used Italy because I had a bit of an idea with Masimo and I don't even know if I am going to use it anymore. But anyway, I asked my sister if there were any beaches in Italy and she looked at me if I was an idiot, which actually I am not. It just happens I am not very good at Geo :P Anyway, enough blabbering and on with the chapter :D
Chapter 4 – Call of the Nunga's!
Sunday 26th - September
7am
Up at the crack of 7am to start packing for Italy (and when I say crack, I literally mean it this time. Well not crack as in crack. Oh, you know what I mean) I'm going to need about 5 hours of the day packing, and that's just my make up. Gadzooks. I'm going to need another suitcase. Or 3.
1 minute later
I think I will go and ask Vati if he can loan me one. He has about 7 from when he goes to the completely pointless clown car conventions which only bald coots with badgers go to. I think he will be able to see that his daughter is desperate for another suitcase and will hand it over with no hassle.
Being yelled at by Vati
The way he is reacting, you would think I would've tried to blow him up. If only, although, he is doing a pretty good job of that himself. All I do is ask for another suitcase and he goes off on an f.t. possibly verging onto the boundaries of a full frontal spaz attack.
4 centuries later
Finally Vati is finished with his rant. I think I will phone Voley and see if she will be nice(ish) and let me borrow some space in her suitcase.
Phoning Jas
Pick up Voley. I can't waste anymore valuable packing time waiting for you to detach yourself from Tom's face long enough to answer the phone.
"Hello?"
"Finally Jas. Y'know, I was beginning to think you didn't want to talk to me."
"Georgia, don't be stupid. How did I know it was going to be you calling?"
"Channel your Mystic Meg."
"Georgia, you are being very stupi-"
"Jas?"
"What?"
"Shut up."
1 minute later
"Jas? What are you doing?"
"Shutting up" Like I wasn't expecting that.
"Look. I am calling to find out if my bestest pally in the whole world who I love vair vair much because she is vair vair nice and-"
"Get to the point Georgia. I need to go back upstairs. Tom was just about to show me some new crested newts." What fresh hell. Doesn't she have anything better to do on a perfectly perfect Saturday then look at newts with her may aswell be husband?
"I was wondering if you would be kind enough to share some of your suitcase space?"
"No." And she put the phone down. I'll make sure I remember that next time she wants something. I will have to go and plead my father again (seriously, how desperate can I get?) for either another suitcase, or the money to buy another suitcase. I highly doubt I will get either but it's worth another shot. Sort of.
Asking Vati again
"Dad..."
"For crists sake Georgia. Take my only £5 and go and remove yourself before this remote makes contact with your head.
Well that went betterthen expected. £5. But that isn't going to get me another suitcase. Ho hum pigs bum. Ah well. Lip gloss it is then. But first I must pack (in the limited amount I have, thanks to my Vati. He has no carenosity.)
2 minutes later
Right. We are going for a week. So, I will take four pairs of shoes, fourteen t-shirts so I have a choice everyday, seven pairs of jeans and a couple of pairs of shorts in case it's hot. I'm sure I can borrow Mutti's handbag aswell. She won't mind unless she finds out then she would skin me alive but live and let life. I suppose.
1 second later
Is Italy hot? Judging by the way Masimo looks it deffo is. Maybe 3 pairs of shorts.
10 minutes later
I wonder why Lindsay is going on the trip? She is probably going on prefect duty or whatever, as long as she gets in my way. If anything you would think if she doesn't like me that much she would want to stay away from me. She would do anything to make my life hell. Well I don't need her help, I can do that myself.
1 second later
That sounded alot better in my head. Alot of things do but hey ho.
2 minutes later
I think I might go down to the park to spend my last hours in Merry England with nature. Anything to get out of this hell hole I call my house anyway. I can't concentrate on packing when I have my criminally insane 4 year old sister singing her version of 'sex bum'. It goes a little like this.
'Sex bum Sex bum. I'm a sex bum.' And I don't think you really need to hear the rest.
Park
Why is nature so boring?
1 minute later
Guess who's here? Yes. Dave and Emma. The happy couple. It feels a little funny seeing them together. It felt a little funny saying the happy couple aswell. But I will as usual be the last to know why. They haven't noticed me. Should I go over there and say Hi or does that look like I desperately want to talk to Dave? Emma will probably think so because I never talk to her. She is nice and everything but she is too nice. No one is that nice. It's not normal. Not that I will know anything about being normal but I guess that is sort of expected of an upbringing like mine.
No. I will walk past in all maturosity and hope they don't notice me.
10 seconds later
Ok. So I didn't walk. I did a fast jog. But they still didn't notice me.
1 second later
I think they are having an argument. Wonder what about? But I can't go over, I don't want them to notice me.
Hiding in a bush
Ok. So I know hiding in a bush is pretty much screaming Notice me but I want to know what they are talking about. So they are deffo arguing. Now I just need to remove this twig from my bumoley and then I can carry on listening and find out what about. Although it's vair annoying trying to listen to a conversation when you are forever removing twigs from your botty.
2 minutes later
"Hi Gee."
I looked up to find Dave grinning at me like a loon. How in the name of the queens cycling shorts did he find me in a bush? I though the bush was a magnificent hiding place.
"How in the name of the queen's cycling shorts did you know I was in there?"
"I got the call of the nunga's." And he gave me a full flaring smile. Emma just tutted and then his grin turned to a frown.
2 minutes later
Sitting in silence. As you probably know I hate silences, giving the situation with Masimo. I know I should really not talk because I always say something stupid.
"So, How are you two doing?"
Not stupid but Wait! Do I really want to know about Dave's love life. No I think is the answer you are looking for. I was spared the details because Emma got up and walked away. I gave Dave my most confused look.
"Don't ask."
Don't worry.
Home
After that little episode, Me and Dave headed home. It was silent on the way home like he was thinking about something. When we got to the parting I was kind of expecting a snog but instead I got a peck. And on the cheek. Well I guess you can't have everything. Although it would make it a whole lot better. I would have given anything for Dave to snog me then. ShutupShutup.
My Room
Right. I have packed my suitcase. And my Rucksack. And my carry bag. Now I just have to organize what I am wearing tomorrow morning, which you would think would be easy, but not with two idiot cats which unusual lolling tongues darting around you, chasing your feet. If only I could get them to the door without them savaging my feet completely.
2 seconds later
Kicked Angus and Gordy out of my room. It wasn't easy, but amazing things can happen with a broom. Every so often you can hear them throwing themselves at the door. Vair distracting but oh well. Now I can focus on clothes. I need to achieve the full sex kitty look. So, shorts and strappy top?
1 second later
Maybe not. Billy Shakespeare land isn't really jolly with the weather. I'll stick to Jeans.
10 minutes later
Decided on Black Jeans and A purple top with matching shoes. I think I may have to sleep with rollers in for maximum bouncability. Hey, no pain no gain.
1 second later
What idiot said that? I have had my feet savaged by two wild beasts and what did I gain from that? Nothing I can tell you.
7pm
I think I will have to go to bed early to avoid the feet length bags fiasco tomorrow morning. I don't think Dave or any of the boys for that matter find bags attractive. But you never know. Boys are not exactly the Normans Normal's of Normal land are they? No they are not.
10 seconds later
4 AM! I have to get up at 4AM! It's not possible.
It will take me at least and hour to do my make up. 50 minutes if I really rush. I will need a bath, unless I cut that short and just spray myself to within an inch of my life to make it seem like I have actually washed. Need to do my hair and get dressed and I can't get up at 4.
1 second later
What was Slim thinking? Making young fragile teens like me get up ay ridiculous times in the morning only to go on yet another crappio should trip organized by the Hitler Youth to torcher us. Which reminds me, I need to brush up on my Italian.
2 minutes later
Found my Italian handbook of little useful phrases. Came in handy with the Italian Stallion. Now let's see...
1 minute later
I now know how to have an intellectual Italian conversation with Jas.
For example, I would say "Quante coppie in mutande hai acquistato?"
And then she would say something like "venti e alcune delle migliori" and then I would try and compliment her on her rather large choice of knickers and how big they make her botty look. And then she would most probably kick me. She has quite a hefty kick.
8pm
Libby has come in with Gordy by the neck. I should feel sorry for him but i'm too tired. It doesn't really matter though because he feels no pain. He is officially a super cat. His father has taught him well. I also have noticed he is covered in foundation probably mine, courtesies of Libby. How Libby reaches things on my dresser I will never know.
"Libbs put Gordy down."
"He Laaaaikes it." And she started again with my make up. Only this time she has added something extra. She has manages to find some of my botty huggers and is putting them on Gordy like an arm sling. Hells Bells. Why can't she be like other normal 4 year olds? Play with dolls, sleeps in her own room and actually leaves her sister alone. Ha. Yeah right.
8.30pm
"Georgia. Can we come in?" Mutti and Vati. Why can't they just leave me alone? My life would be so much less dramatic if they were not involved in any way in it. One would hope.
"No." They should get the message that I don't want anyone in here. But obviously not. I may aswell just have my door wide open and an arrow pointing towards me saying 'I want to be harassed.' It would make it alot more easier. For them anyway.
I looked at them and they were trying to act all upset that I was going. It wasn't working. I could tell that they are secretly really happy to get rid of me. They could dump Libbs round at Grandads and then they have the whole house to themselves for the week. Typical.
"We wanted to give you this, for Italy."
And they handed me an envelope. It was probably the goodbye letter now. Telling me never to come back. I opened it but still looking at them. They will probably be...
Oh. My. God.
£150!! Thank you Big G. You have finally listened to me!
"Now that's for food, drink and emergencies."
I take my thank you back Big G.
"But you can spend half of it on yourself. But don't think this will be an often thing. It's only because you are going away."
I should go away more often. I would have said that but they might have taken the only money I get in about ten years back. And then I did something I never thought I would have to do in my life. I gave Mutti and Vati and hug. And then kicked them out. I think they thought it was nice while it lasted.
9pm
Libby is actually sleeping in her own bed. I think Mutti had to lure her with some of her lipstick for Gordy. Whatever, it worked so now I have my bed all to myself.
Now to sleep for tomorrow I will be...
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Monday 27th September
5am
Blimey O'Reilly and also Merde and Poo and Crap!
I have to be at the school in an hour and I have only just woken up. I am NEVER going to be ready in time.
Make up, clothes, hair...
5.50am
Rush Rushing and Pant Panting up the hill. I can see the coach now and everyone waiting outside. No doubt waiting for me. Crap. I can't believe Vati was too lazy to get his arse out of bed and give me a lift. Oh what was I thinking? That would involve exercise and he can't bear that.
I did my make up in 45 minutes but that only left me 15 to do everything else. Now my hair looks like it has exploded and to make it even worse, I look like a red faced loon only not so attractive.
As soon as I got to the Ace Gang they all looked at me and then rolled their eyes and got on the coach. They were waiting for me. At least they didn't leave without me.
"We were started to think about leaving you here Nicolson." Thanks Slim.
On the coach
On the coach of life, sitting next to my besty heading out of Billy Shakespeare land on our way to Italy. Sound the Horn, the girls (and boys) are back in town!
Thanks for reading. This chapter was actually a really boring one to write. I want to get to the Plane and stuff and I promise that will be more entertaining. Anyway, please review otherwise I will cry and then not write anymore. Thanks.