Wherein Leah waits for Jacob
(set after Breaking Dawn)
Explanatory A/N: This was written off one of the June 2017 Flash Fiesta prompts on Fictional Retreat (you should check it out— seriously). I fell a little bit in love with second person POV when I wrote this.
Warnings: Bad language.
You don't go to the big house with Jacob anymore. Watching him smile for Renesmee, even when he doesn't feel like it, is awful and uncomfortable and just downright wrong, so you stay behind and you wait for him to come home — to the Reservation, where he belongs, to a family he would never have left if freaky shit like suckers didn't exist.
Of course, if freaky shit like suckers didn't exist, you'd be happy. Engaged, maybe married and half-way through college already, instead of being guilt-tripped into trying on bridesmaid dresses.
But the world's a fucked up place, so fucked up things like that exist. You're here, after all.
You're here, where Jacob is not. You're here, holed up in the Black's garage with Embry, trying to while away the hours by learning about cars and their engines. Embry's always been quieter than the others, so after actually getting to know him you've discovered that, after growing up an only child, he loves nothing more than having someone he can to show things to. So you let him start teaching you — little things, like changing the oil and replacing dud headlights and batteries, which your dad never quite got around to teaching you before you killed him.
You hole up together in the Black's garage, you work, and you wait for the sun to set. Because that's when Renesmee sleeps. That's when Jacob comes home.
By the end of the month you can tell the difference between eight different types of wrenches (box, combination, monkey, pipe…); you know what to look for when checking the tyres (tread depth and side-wall damage); you can change a fan belt by yourself (if it's too loose it'll vibrate and wear out quickly). Embry's so pleased that he salvages a Honda Civic from the scrapyard which might possibly be older than the both of you put together, and he tells you all about head gaskets.
When Embry says he's not going to be around so much anymore, you try not to look as disappointed as you feel. Something about growing up and getting his shit together, he says. His GED. A job. He says he's not Phased for two weeks, so why not stop altogether?
So now it's just you in the Black's garage. You work, and you wait for the sun to set.
"They're leaving," Jacob says suddenly the next time you see him. When the sun has set. When he's home.
You don't look up. You can't. You're elbow-deep in the Honda's engine and if you stop now the whole thing will fall apart, since Embry's not here to hold it together. But he's taught you well. You can do it.
Closer and closer Jacob comes, until he's standing next to the hood and eyeing you tighten a bolt with only your fingers. "They're leaving," he says again. Louder.
They're leaving.
"They said I could go with them—"
You risk a glance at him, risk him letting see the hurt and disbelief on your face. Just for a second. It is enough. Then you go back to your engine and start muttering obscenities and phrases you learnt years before you joined a gang of teenage boys fighting suckers. It's not a nice car you're working on, not worth how impressed Billy is when he comes to visit, but it's good practice and it keeps you busy.
Jacob barely breathes while you finish up. He knows better.
Eventually, when you're satisfied nothing metal is going to crash to the floor, you've recovered enough to face your Alpha.
He looks exhausted, but at least it's something honest. He doesn't have to pretend that there's sunshine and rainbows here. He doesn't have to pretend with you that he's high on life after imprinting. It kind of became the deal when you became his Second. You have to share these things and you have to work together, otherwise your Pack would be completely dysfunctional instead of just a little.
"Are you going?" you finally ask.
He shrugs. "They said it's my choice."
The scoff which escapes betrays you. What choice? If there was a choice involved, then it would be a wedding dress you are getting measured for, not a bridesmaid's dress.
"Yeah, I know," he says, resigned and so, so tired.
"When?"
"Summertime. Maybe."
"Where?"
"Didn't ask. Does it matter?"
Your hands shake. "Of course it matters." It's an effort not to spit. "Why wouldn't it? Because you're going to be happy wherever you end up?"
Hurt flashes in Jacob's eyes, but you don't feel guilty as you continue raging.
"You're not happy now, so why would you be happy in Alaska or Canada or somewhere worse where everything's dead and nothing's real? And what about your Pack? Your dad?" You're nearly screaming. "What about me?"
Months you've spent waiting for him. Months of trying to understand what you haven't been able to before, and failing. But still trying. Because up until now Jacob has been worth following. Worth waiting for.
Jacob scratches the back of his neck, looking nine kinds of awkward as he tries to find his next words. Completely unphased by your anger, like he always is. "I told Cullen—Edward, I mean… I told him I'd only go if we all can. If I can give you the same choice."
You freeze.
"What?" The smile which takes over his face is completely his own – not the one he saves for Renesmee. "You didn't really think I'd just leave you behind, did you?"
Your face says, yes, you really did.
Jacob laughs in his disbelief. He's laughing as if to say, don't be so stupid, Leah.
You hide your smile.