Summery: Lucy couldn't take it any more, she knew it was selfish but her mind and soul felt it was necessary.

(A/N: Warning, this is about depression and a suicide attempt, so if you're sensitive to this then don't read)

It had been 7 years.

Lucy still couldn't believe it…

Fairy Tail had retrieved their old guild back after the magic games and things were starting to return to the way they were before, except for Lucy.

Her first year with Fairy Tail was all she had hoped and dreamed of; even her relationship with her father had blossomed. Nonetheless, after Tenrou Island, everything began to slip.

First, she lost her father without having the possibility of recuperating their relationship. Secondly, she'd lost 7 years of her life, though she hadn't aged a day, her friends and town had, this made the place feel uneasy and unfamiliar. Thirdly, she had seen her future-self die… Though everyone else had mourned and would never be able to forget that day, Lucy was most affected… She didn't show it, always keeping a smile and a cheerful personality, but inside she was crumbling away.

The last straw was the dream she had that night, or rather a nightmare.

This nightmare was a collage of all the times she'd gone on missions and every time she'd fought with her friends, most would think that she should be happy and feel like a part of the team!

But that wasn't the case.

Lucy realised when she woke up that her dream was true, she had always tried to put up a good fight, and her friends always tried to make her feel important, but the fact was…

She was weak…

She was useless…

They could easily get on with life without her…

Why am I here?

Why do I try?

Why do they patronise me with false compliments?...

All of these thoughts rushed through Lucy's mind that morning; she couldn't take it anymore.

The celestial wizard hadn't been inside the guild for almost a week now, Natsu and the team had gone on a mission, Lucy had told them she wasn't feeling well so she could skip this one. She got out of bed and did her normal routine, shower, breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed and go out. Nonetheless, she skipped the last step; instead she sat at her desk and wrote.

Later that day Natsu and the team returned from the mission, Natsu barged into the guild happily "WE'RE BACK!" he and Happy shouted in unison, the whole guild cheered before quieting down when a forlorn Erza and Gray followed in, expressing annoyance and anger on their faces.

"How was the mission?" Mira asked, cutting a bit of strawberry cake for Erza, knowing just how to cheer her up after a hard mission "Completed… But some idiot destroyed a lot of buildings" Erza gave a death glance to Natsu who was visibly sweating and looked away "We had to pay with the reward…" she sighed and thanked Mira for the cake.

Grey came and sat next to Erza asking for a cold drink "Hey Mira? How's Lucy doing?" He asked remembering she was ill when they left, probably just a cold but it had been a week and he'd expected to see her here at this time of day. Mira blinked "Lucy? I thought she went with you?" Mira asked confused, Gray frowned at this "No, she told us she was ill and wanted to recover before going on a mission, she said she'd let you know" Gray explained his side of the story.

Mira pursed her lips and hummed "That's odd… I hope she is okay, I haven't seen her all week" she informed.

"We will go and check on her!" Happy blurted out, both him and Natsu overhearing. Erza and Gray looked at Natsu and sighed, they couldn't stay mad at him for long, its like trying to stay mad at a puppy "We will all go" Erza told him. When they'd finished their refreshments they all began walking towards her house, all excited to see their sickly teammate and hoping she was okay.

Upon walking up to her door, after battling Natsu to stop him jumping up to her window, they knocked on the door "Lucy? We are back! You in?" Gray knocked and called out. They stood for a minute, but there was nothing but silence "Well… that's weird…" Erza spoke worry clear in her voice.

Natsu then gave up and kicked the door open "Lucy!~ You asleep?" Natsu called out leaving a stunned Erza and Gray at the door with their mouths open, Natsu hadn't opened the door, instead he just left a huge hole in the wood big enough to walk through.

Snapping out of their shock Erza and Gray walked in "She's gunna kill you" Gray told the pink-haired dragon slayer but paused when he realised Natsu and Happy were both too quiet. Erza also noticed this, seeing both happy and Natsu by the desk "What's the matter?" the redheaded mage asked, walking up to the two.

Natsu blankly pointed at an envelope on Lucy's desk "T-There's a letter… It's addressed to us" Happy stuttered, both boys were too scared to open it, worrying that Lucy had left Fairy Tail or something.

"A letter?" Erza moved to lift the envelope "To my friends" she hummed with a slight frown before opening the letter and reading it aloud for the others to hear.

To my friends,

I'm sorry it had to be this way, I know it is selfish but hear me out.

My life was always controlled and a bore, but after running away from that life I found you guys! It was the best year of my life!

However…

Because of past events my depression has begun to return, I had kept trying to keep busy and make sure I am happy all the time, but the longer time went on, the harder it became to stay happy.

This is not your fault

It's mine…

I am weak and always have been…

Fairy Tail is a guild for strong wizards, both of power and heart, but mine are weak and useless.

Please forgive me for my transgression and I hope to see you all in another life.

My sincere apologies,

Lucy Heartfelia

The more of the letter Erza read, the more her voice began to waver, at the end she looked at Gray, both having wide eyes of dread and fear, they both then turned to Natsu and happy who shared the same expression.

"No… She couldn't have" Gray mumbled on the edge of tears. Erza looked at Natsu, throughout the whole mission Natsu had worried about Lucy, and even confessed that he was going to finally tell her how he felt, to their surprise. Erza felt tears brim on her waterline, hesitantly reaching over to touch Natsu's shoulder. Natsu was still stood by the desk, his hands now curled into fists so tight his knuckles were turning white, his head was down, his fringe covering his eyes but Erza could still see the free stream of warm tears leaking down his cheeks and chin.

"W-What does she mean 'see you all in another life'?" Happy stuttered, biting his lower lip so hard, trying to stay strong for his buddy but failing miserably. "Happy, she… She means-"

"NO!" Natsu shouted, stopping Erza's words. His head lifted showing his frown and tears streaming freely, his whole body was trembling "She's not dead!" he insisted, looking around the apartment "If she was then where is she!" he exclaimed out of permanent denial and anger.

Gray looked at Natsu, he couldn't help but let a tear fall free from his eye, he then went to the kitchen and bathroom to check there too before returning and wiping his tear away "N-Natsu's right, Lucy isn't here"

"I can still smell her, she was here not long ago! We have to find her!" Natsu ordered, Erza's eyes widened but she nodded "Gray! Lets go! We will check the grounds! Natsu and happy, you know what to do!"

With that, they split up and began searching for their suicidal celestial mage.

Natsu followed Lucy's scent with the assistance of a teary Happy, flying him where he needed to go. Soon Natsu realised where they were headed "Her mothers grave" he told himself "Quickly Happy!" he shouted up to the blue exceed "Aye Sir!" Happy then picked up speed and headed to the graveyard.

Once there, Natsu noticed some knelt down with their head hung, blonde hair getting wet in the rain that fell heavily, Happy dropped Natsu down to the ground before the two ran in her direction "LUCY!" They screamed trying to get her attention, but she did not budge.

Natsu panted heavily and slowed his sprint to a walk as he approached her "L-Lucy… W-What are you doing?" he asked, Happy landed on Natsu's shoulder and watched in anguish. "L-Luce?" Natsu called again, seeing Lucy's back; she was knelt on the ground in front of her mothers and fathers graves, her head hung and her arms rested on her lap, her back slightly slumped and completely drenched.

Natsu hesitantly knelt beside her and touched her shoulder "Lu-" suddenly her limp body just collapsed onto its side, the touch from Natsu having made the still body tip over. Her wrists had been cut and blood pooled on her lap and skirts mixing with the rain, Natsu's heart stopped in that moment, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he couldn't even move.

No… No…. No… "NO!" he finally screamed and crawled over to her, pulling her ragdoll body in to his arms and shaking her "L-Lucy! Lucy! Wake up! You… you can't do this to me! I-I'm so sorry… I'm sorry… Please wake up… I should have stayed… I should have seen… I should have… have… L-Luce, please… Wake up… I wont be mad if youre joking… well… maybe I will… But please… you can't leave us… you cant leave me!" he spoke unevenly, trying to shake her awake.

"L-Lushy…." Happy placed a paw on her drooping arm, getting blood on his fur but he didn't care "I-Is she-"

"No! She's not dead!" Natsu shouted, making Happy jump a bit, startled by Natsu's terrifying tone, Natsu saw the fear in his little buddies face through his thick tears and sniffled back a sob "I-I'm sorry… I just…" he buried his face into Lucy's neck and sobbed heavily.

After a few minutes Erza and Gray made it to the graveyard with Wendy in tow, they had been searching nearby and heard Natsu's scream, though the urge to find him fast was strong they knew they had to get Wendy, that treacherous scream was not a good sign. It was full of sorrow, regret and anger.

"Natsu!" Erza shouted

"Happy!" Carla shouted

The two didn't even look their way; Natsu was holding Lucy's still form close, as if she were a lifejacket, sobbing his eyes out, too loudly to hear his surroundings. Happy sat next to them, crying silently but a lot, staring off in no particular direction, completely in shock.

When they arrived Wendy told Erza that she needed to get to Lucy, so with a struggle, Erza pulled Natsu away from her "No! Let me go! Lucy! I need her! Let me go!" he screamed, fighting against Erza's hold, she couldn't take it any more, the boy she'd seen grow up, so happy and care free was now a mess, she couldn't stand seeing him this way. With one large punch to the gut he fell unconscious.

Gray looked at Erza's grieving expression before putting a hand on her shoulder "It was for the best… He wasn't in his right mind" he tried to comfort, Erza just nodded and placed Natsu down, sat up against a grave stone.

Carla held Happy's hand, she knew he was in shock and could only do this much for him at the moment. "Wendy? How is Lucy?" Gray asked, half not wanting to know the answer, Wendy too was concentrated on healing Lucy to look at Gray but she answer through heavy pants "S-She… She has a weak heartbeat… she's not breathing… She lost a lot of blood but if I can heal her wrists and do CPR in the next minute she might make it" she spoke heavily.

Gray closed his eyes; the words 'might make it' were not ones he wanted to hear.

4 years later

Erza, Gray and Natsu met at the graveyards entrance, it had been about a year since they'd last seen each other "It's been a long time" Gray smiled and patted Natsu's shoulder, Natsu smiled in return "It's been too long" he chuckled. Erza looked at them both before entering the graveyard "an interesting place to have a reunion that's for sure" she spoke, walking down the path.

Natsu chuckled sadly "It was Lucy's idea", Erza hummed questionably and looked toward the Heartfelia family grave stones, as they approached a small child aged 2 came running up to Natsu "Daddy!~" the little girl with pink long hair giggled in his fathers arm.

"Wow, your little ember has grown hasn't she" Gray chuckled, 'ember' being a nickname for Flame-heads child.

From the grave stones a sweet but punishing voice called over "Gray! How many times have I told you! Don't call her ember!" Gray looked over to the blonde celestial mage who had stood up from in front of her parent's graves and faced the others. Natsu laughed, "You don't want to make her angry Gray" he warned.

Gray blinked at Natsu, "Why not? It's nothing new?" he asked with a shrug, Natsu just left it at that and let Gray look towards the beautiful blonde, he then widened his eyes, as did Erza's. Lucy was pregnant, again. "Oh shit" Gray squeaked seeing the hormonal anger in her expression as Lucy walked up to him and flicked him hard on the head "There! Hmph!" she took her daughter from Natsu and pointed at Gray "Kill him for me would you honey?" She gave her husband a sweet smile and kiss on the cheek, Gray gulped and looked at Erza and Natsu for help.

"Yes dear~" Natsu smirked and looked at Gray punching his fist to his hand "you ready buddy?"

As if like old time the two began to brawl, Lucy and Erza watched in amusement "Congratulations Lucy" Erza spoke, looking at Lucy's extended stomach "A brother or sister for little Nashi?" the redhead asked, smiling softly at Nashi, who was perched on her mothers hip and hiding a little for the scary lady. Lucy chuckled "Nashi will soon be a big sister wont you~" she spoke in a voice only made for a child, Nashi came out a little and nodded with a large Natsu grin "N-Nashi have ickle brover" she spoke cutely.

Erza grinned, really excited for Lucy and Natsu, and also finding Nashi's little voice adorable! "Where is Happy?" Erza asked when she realised he wasn't around, Lucy laughed softly "He's at home watching the kittens while Carla has a day out with Wendy and Juvia, they said we could meet them later for a girly night out, of course I wont be drinking but it should still be fun" Lucy grinned rubbing her 7 month round belly. Erza nodded "Sounds like a plan, I think the boy's need some time to catch up too" she chuckled.

After the horrific event that transpired 4 years ago, Erza was happy Lucy had survived, otherwise she and her guild mates may have separated on much less fortunate terms. Somehow, luck was on their side~

(A/N: Review pwease ~ )