I told you that it was only going to get that bit more angstier. Most of the fic is probably going to be from Hilary's point of view, but there will be chapters (such as the previous) that will focus on Kai and his own thoughts on the matter. Like I've said from the beginning, this is a Kai/Hilary, there are no other pairings within this fic, there's not even a potential chance for Tala/Kai - which I've had a few people message me about - if you want to read Tala/Kai fics, go look somewhere else.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade, nor am I claiming to have any rights to it's writing and creation - all rights are reserved for it's creator. All I am, is a complete nerd that absolutely adores a show about spinning tops, and enjoys writing about his trashy children. ;) The idea is mine, but has been influenced by a Sleeping With Siren's song, just because I'm mushy, and hey, let's have mush. Haha.

As I always say, and will continue to say: your views and reviews mean a lot to me. I'm a little uncertain as to whether this will be a fic that is continued or if it's going to be left as it is - probably because I feel like I am the only one enjoying this, but whatever. If you like/enjoy this so far, let me know, or something. Your reviews are so important to me, but never feel pressured to leave anything. I love you regardless. Thank you for taking the time to read this. - Ellis.

They say that love is forever. And they lied. Or he lied. Maybe wires had been crossed and Hiro was being somewhat cruel - she'd noted the tension between him and Kai, and it had been made clear by Kai that he had taken a strong disliking to Hiro. At first, she thought that she'd been reading too much into it, attempting to make sense out of something that was so obvious, attempting to make excuses for Kai and methods to his madness, and that there had been a misunderstanding between Hiro and Kai, and that Hiro must had heard Kai wrong. She couldn't believe it. Kai wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that to Tyson. He wouldn't do that to her... Would he? Hiro had declared that Kai had quit the team upon his own accord, and said nothing else on the matter, though Hilary assumed that was actually all that Hiro knew of Kai's situation, and Tyson had declared Hiro was a liar and had attempted to nudge his brother in the direction of playing a cruel trick, that actually wasn't as funny as they had first claimed it to be. He'd soon realised that Hiro actually wasn't holding back, and in a moment of childish fury, and betrayal, he'd mimicked Kai in the most horrendous of manners, and for a split second Hilary thanked her lucky stars that Kai actually hadn't been there to hear him, whilst also attempting to hold herself back from slipping his fingers around Tyson's throat and draining the childishness from him.

Hilary finally put it down to Kai's heart no longer being within the game, explaining how Kai had lacked the enthusiasm when he had beaten Daichi, and Kenny had commented just how out of character Kai's actions had been. Kai had always been enthusiastic made he battled - he was powerful and graceful, brutal and yet strangely elegant; no matter what he did. Against Daichi, he'd appeared broken and detached from the matter, lost within translation, and Hilary hadn't able to translate him. He'd been unreadable, and out of touch, constantly creating an aspect of distance between himself and the others, and Hilary claimed that Kai's heart probably hadn't been in the game since the events of the last Championships, when Zeo had snatched the most precious thing from Kai. His Dranzer. He'd contemplated quitting, vowing that he hadn't been good enough to protect his Dranzer, uttered in exhausted cries that it would be easier for him to let go, than to cling onto a game that does not require him. Hilary hadn't pitied him, but the concern had been there. She'd felt as if she had been watching a dying boy, and his very skeleton rattled within the fear of letting go. Eventually, Hiro claimed that excuses could not be made for Kai, and there was no valid reason for him simply leaving, and Hilary was left with her inner demons wishing to form her argument.

Everything about them had been pure and innocent, right from the beginning. Right from the start, it had been well conducted and careful, and in some cases handled with care and an immaculate sense of affection. They'd been a part of one of another, together in every sense of the world, for over a year, and somehow they'd managed their secret nights, and delicate whispers, somehow Kai had managed to get under her skin, and he wasn't planning on leaving any time soon. She recalled the many of moments in which her fingers would trace alongside his side in a moment of reassurance, and his breath would innocently hitch, and his stomach would sink inwards unconsciously, and his breath would dance amongst the span of her shoulder - sweet and short huffs of breath that lingered, and refused to be dismissed. She recalled how once she'd placed her head within his lap, whilst his fingers dance amongst the hazelnut strands that spread so eagerly. He'd swap a few idle jokes, some more ridiculous - so ridiculous in fact, that they were actually funny - and she always laughed. She told him her dreams once, how she wanted to study abroad - maybe London - and earn herself a degree within nursing, and later become a doctor. She'd spoken about how Tyson had declared that she'd fit being a doctor, because then she could lecture people on what was best for them, whilst Kai had silenced her worries, and spoken about how he'd always been interested in mathematics and English literature, and that he too wouldn't mind studying away from Japan. She'd learnt that he was a keen artist and topped his art class back at school - he often knew portraits, and claimed that he'd like to draw her one day, and he'd learnt that Hilary was keen on space, and knew the meaning of the stars and planets aligning. He'd also learnt names of some of the constellations that prior to this, he would have ignored. And she discovered that he really was keen on artists, and spoke highly of few that were not well known to the rest of the industry. She learnt new techniques on drawing and shading, and she spoke about the places that she'd most like to visit in the world. She'd commented that she'd quite like to see Russia one day, and Kai had reminded her that it was incredibly cold, and had even spoken about the first time he returned to Russia, alongside the Blade Breakers, and how Tyson hadn't realised just how cold Moscow actually was. I'll take you, one day. He'd said, and she saw that as a promise. He discovered that Hilary really enjoyed reading, and Wuthering Heights was a known favourite, and he'd admitted that he'd never heard of the book, but was intending on giving it a read. He read poetry to her, and explained to her about the confusion of one of William Blake's poetry pieces, and Hilary had found it endearing to simply listen to him.

He spoke, and she listened, she learnt that Kai was passionate about other things that were not blading, and that he was incredibly intelligent, more so than what he let on. He'd listened and found that the idea of space and nature had never been more interesting to him, and her voice came as a gentle whisper, and a careless hymn - a soft sound that was ever so delightful-

"Hilary." Brown eyes open, and Hilary finds that she had been lost within the one thing that felt as if she didn't have any more. The boy who was intoxicating, and complex - where the heck was he? She'd zoned out to the point, where she'd dropped her head into her chest, and stopped within the digging of her spoon, only to idly place it against the side of her bowl. Tyson had spoken about the morning routine that Hiro had planned and set for them - it was extremely strict - and Tyson had attempted to get a response from Hilary. She'd offered only silence, not even the raise of her head to acknowledge his existence, and even when he had announced that he'd simply slack off rather than doing anything - she hadn't responded. Kenny had frowned, and maybe assumed that she hadn't slept well the night previous, which actually, coming to think of, was most out of character for Hilary. Her eyes search the faces of her friends, Kenny holds an expression of concern as he pours himself a glass of orange juice, Tyson is glaring at her mid a full mouth, and Daichi is gnawing away at a piece of toast, and Hiro is stood behind them - eyes focused entirely on her.

"Are you okay?" Was she okay? Clearly not. She was angry and confused, and... Ridiculous memories were more pleasant than dealing with today, and if one more person actually asked her today, if she was okay or not, she might actually just blow her top, and reveal all of her secrets - their secrets. Gods, she was so angry with Kai - angry probably wasn't even the word to describe how she felt at the moment - but it was enough. She was angry that he could just disappear like this, as if the last year that they'd shared together had been absolutely nothing - it had been something, hadn't it? Or had it just been something that would preoccupy him, until he received a better offer? No. Kai wasn't like that. Kai was honest, but secretive at times, but in the end, he revealed all of his secrets to her. Kai had tender hands and a warm smile, and she had often felt his smile when he'd buried his face into the crook of her neck, or where he'd kisses along her shoulders. In this moment, she felt secure within her anger to out him and their relationship, but in the end, she knew that she couldn't do that to him - she couldn't. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she betrayed him in such a way.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking about the tournament - that's all. It's going to be strange going up against Max and Rei." Good save. She thinks that she's saved herself, and saved Kai the agony.

"Max and Rei knew what they were doing when they decided to switch teams." Hiro comments, and honestly? Must he just disregard everything with a mere waving of his hand? At least he talks somewhat highly of Max and Rei in comparison to what he does about Kai - with Kai there's a heaviness, there's a dulled excuse to be anything but enthusiastic. She provides the faint glow of her smile, before steadily reminding Hiro that Max, Rei and Kai are their friends, and whatever reason they had for joining other teams, or quitting, should be respected, and then excusing herself from the room.

She hates to imagine where he is and what he is doing, and whether he's okay, does he need her? Or is he over her? That's a cruel way to think of him, and yet he isn't here to prevent such fears from escalating. He'd left without a second thought, maybe even a second glance, and it was through Hiro that Hilary had to find out that Kai wasn't coming along? Perhaps, the endless nights of torment and anguish for Kai, had finally led to his fall from grace, and she wonders as to where he's landed. Her fears only spiral when she questions if Kai had ever been okay, or if he'd done something that was incredibly reckless - he always did push himself to limit, and he always did prefer to exceed new limits, to the point of pure exhaustion. Surely Kai wasn't that reckless, nor out of control. Tyson and Daichi were reckless, and placing two reckless minds on the same team, was begging for trouble. She recalled that Daichi had seemed overjoyed with the news of Kai leaving the team - after getting over his momentary shock, because apparently, the great Kai Hiwatari doesn't quit anything. Tyson, at first has objected to acknowledging Daichi as his tag team partner, driven by the idea that he hadn't heard Kai say that he was quitting to his face, and that Hiro's word clearly wasn't good enough. A day later and Tyson had finally acknowledged that Kai really wasn't coming back, and there was no point holding onto something that he couldn't claim any more.

Hilary had faced their first training session together with a hint of sadness, and had tucked herself under one of the trees as she watched Hiro put Kenny through his paces of earning the perfect launch, whilst Tyson and Daichi ran laps, because apparently physical fitness was vital to maintaining a healthy mind. Hazelnut hue ran upon them, they seemed so... So content with the matter. Kai had known them the longest, they were his best friends after all, and yet, Hilary is the one whom feels as if the span of her throat is closing in upon itself, she carries the weight and misses the idea of stoic blader stood before her, Dranzer within his hand, and a ridiculous and oddly witty smirk decorating the pale flesh of his features. How could they seem as if nothing had happened, and yet Hilary feels like she's drowning. Perhaps she had been drowning for a long time, and never really understood the pain that Kai would burden her with. She does continue to question his whereabouts - in he still in Japan? Or did he return home to Russia to get away from the madness of the tournament? Or is he just so out of touch with the game that it mattered little to him as to where he ended up? But one thing his disappearance, and ignorance to informing her, left her with, was: whether she'd been enough? Had this been something that had been as real to Kai, as it had been to her? Or had he sought her out in his moment weakness, out of pure ignorance? Or had she simply been what Kai required to quench a thirst, until he got a better off? Kai wasn't like that, surely? He'd hated the attention that he'd received from female fans, hated the attention that he got at school, when curious groups had posed him with the question to see Dranzer up front. He often shied from touch, and displayed signs of sheer distress when even his friends had touched him, but with her... With her, her touch could have made his soar. Surely, she had been enough.