Author's Note: Sorry it's so short, guys, but it's been really crazy this week. I'll try to write more next week.
Monday mornings were hell for everybody. For Dan and Jenny Humphrey it meant the long drive from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side, where they probably wouldn't fit in anyway. For Serena it meant waking up early, trudging to school, and dealing with everything that had happened over the weekend. For Nate Monday mornings meant seeing Serena and Blair together, yearning for one but being forced to turn to another. But Mondays were the worst for Blair Waldorf, because it was on these days that the weekend ended, and with it, her fantasy of her perfect life as queen of the UES. She was still banished for her stupid mistakes, without anyone but Serena to care for her.
But on this particular Monday, Blair awoke joyfully. She was going to see Nate today, and the whole world was going to see her with Nate. She applied raspberry-colored lipgloss with extra care, and smoothed down her richly curled waves meticulously. She slid a white headband on to complete the look, and swiped mascara over her thick black lashes. After slipping on her modified version of the Constance Billard uniform, she examined herself in the mirror. She hadn't looked this good in weeks.
She ate next to nothing for breakfast, because while she had given up purging, she was now eating less and less. She needed to maintain her thin frame if she ever wanted to get her crown back. She stepped into the limo, and asked the driver to take her to the front entrance. Lately, she had been crawling through the back door, but not today. Not when Nate Archibald was standing in that courtyard. The driver pulled up to the school, and she made a show of getting out. Swinging her hips, she noticed heads turning her way. Ah, the attention.
She walked into the courtyard and scanned the crowd for Nate. She didn't see his golden-brown head peeking out, and for the first time her confidence began to waver. Where could he be? Couldn't he see that she needed him most today of all days? Well, it was still early, so she sat on the steps to wait for his arrival.
She noticed the new clique eyeing her suspiciously. They were jealous, then, of all the attention her grand entrance had stirred up. She could sense that their jealousy was full of fire, that they were going to fight and fight before they would loose their new positions as rulers of Constance. So much the better. Because if Blair knew anything, she knew how to play with fire.
But where was Nate? She needed a perfect guy to complete her perfect image, and she didn't have on without Nate? And she needed her best friend. Where was she?
Blair looked around the courtyard frantically, and her eyes fell on Dan Humphrey, who was apparently also looking for Serena. She walked over to him with purpose in her step, hoping to keep this transaction as short as possible. "Have you seen Serena?" she asked, bossiness coating her voice.
"Hello to you too. And no, I haven't. I was looking for her," Dan said, and something in his voice sounded raw and exposed, like he needed her to be here.
Blair heard how hurt his tone was by her absence, and inexplicably felt sorry for him. "I can't find Nate either. She'll be here," Blair reassured him.
Somehow she seemed to have said the wrong thing, because he visibly winced. "Do you think she's with Nate?" he asked.
Blair jumped back. Of course she wasn't. "Of course not," Blair said, feigning confidence. "Don't you trust her at all?" She knew she didn't really have a right to ask questions like that when she herself never demonstrated her trust for her best friend.
"I do…It's just that I'm not over the fact that she chose him over me," Dan confided. Why the hell was he telling Blair Waldorf this? She was the supreme bitch, the ex-queen bee, and Serena's bff. But somehow it felt right to say these things to her.
"What?" Blair exclaimed, and felt as though she had been slapped in the face. Serena had chosen Nate over Dan? What was that supposed to mean?
"Hasn't she told you? We got into kind of a stupid fight, and I told her to make a choice between her friendship with Nate and our relationship. She chose Nate. I mean, I guess she was just upset that I didn't trust her, and I was being kind of an ass, but I just can't stand thinking about Serena and Nate. Is friendship possible for them?" Dan blurted, all the emotions that had been swirling inside of him the past few days evident in his voice.
Blair felt her world turn upside-down. Why hadn't Serena told her about this? And why had she chosen Nate over Dan? She was in love with Dan, not Nate. Or was she? "I-I don't know. They couldn't be friends before," she murmured.
Dan had never seen her looking so defenseless, so hurt. "Didn't Serena tell you?"
She shook her head.
"Do you think Serena's still in love with Nate?" Dan asked, looking her straight in the eye.
The question caught Blair off guard. What did she think? "Of course she isn't!" Blair yelped, trying to reassure herself. "And I need to go to class."
"Bye, Waldorf," Dan said softly as she walked toward the steps of Constance. He turned toward St. Jude's. If he had looked back, he would have seen Blair Waldorf watching him walk away.
Serena was late. She was running down Madison Avenue, waving her hand for a taxi. "Taxi!" she yelled. One pulled over, and she hurdled herself in. "Constance Billard School, please."
She leaned back and breathed out, remembering her morning.
"Serena! Serena!" Lilly was shaking her awake.
'Mmm," she mumbled.
"Serena, what is Nate doing here?" Lilly had asked.
She bolted awake. "Nate?"
"Well, that woke you up," Lilly said, laughter in her voice. "It's five of eight! And Nate is sleeping on the couch."
The events of last night flooded Serena's mind. "Oh, he got drunk downstairs and passed out. I thought I should bring him up here,"
"Reminds me of old times," Lilly said, a bit of nostalgia in her voice. Sure, she liked Dan fine, and thought he was good for her daughter, but something missed unpredictable, gentlemanly Nate. "What happened to you and Nate anyway?" Lilly asked. She had never been able to figure that one out.
Serena was out of bed, hopping wildly about and trying to get dressed. "Mom! I don't have time for this right now. " She pulled on her skirt.
"You guys were so close, you Nate and Blair," Lilly reminisced.
Serena yanked on her shirt, determined not to answer her mother's questions, but memories were already flooding her mind. "Yeah. Well I'm late already, so I'll go. When Nate wakes up give him some strong coffee and send him to school. I'll see you later."
"Can I invite Nate over?" Lilly asked, but Serena was already out the door.
Serena sighed. Why did everyone have to keep reminding her of the past? She thought she had left it in the past and moved on for the better, but part of her missed the wild, carefree days when her and Nate and Blair had been the golden trio, happy and crazy. Her and Nate had broken that, she knew. Even while they had been friends, there had been moments when their feelings for each other had shone through.
It was a ninth grade birthday party, the one where she remembered meeting Dan. She had been drinking, but she wasn't dead drunk yet. She felt hands on her eyes, and she joyously shouted, "Nate!" She whirled around and hugged him. Nate always made her so inexplicably happy. "Where's Blair?" The brunette girl always tagged along with her boyfriend these days.
"She came down with the stomach flu at the last minute," Nate said, regretfully.
"Aww, too bad," Serena pouted. "I guess it's just you and me, then."
"Yep. Wanna dance?"
"Sure!" she squeaked. Dancing with Nate was a special treat.
They made their way out onto the floor, where the DJ was blasting "Collide" by Howie Day. It was a slow song, and he put his hands on her hips, and they both felt electricity running through them. She put her arms around his shoulders, and they began to sway in place to the beat.
"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide."
They hadn't talked then, simply moving back and forth. Both of them had felt the connection, and leaned against each other as though they were they only people on earth. After a few minutes of this bliss, they had both looked at each other. Serena had seen in Nate's gaze a confirmation that he felt exactly the same way she did- that this was where they belonged. Nate looked down at her, and their eyes had locked together. Their lips had moved closer, somehow, though neither had realized this. Slowly, softly, they had kissed, and then deepened the kiss. It was just them, in that moment, in the center of the dance floor, moving together, their lips hungrily grasping at each other's.
Serena shook her head. She hadn't thought about that in so long. It was weird how memories like that came back to her when she least wanted them or expected them. Over the past few days, they had been especially persistent. It was strange, that things had turned out so differently than she had expected them too. Instead of ending up with the guy she had been in love with for her whole life, she had ended up with the lonely one in the corner who she had felt bad for. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her bag.
A text from Blair, probably asking where she was. She opened it and read it. It said: are you in love with nate? Her mouth fell open and she froze. Just then, the cab pulled up to Constance.
The first sensation that Nate experienced when he woke up was pain. The second was confusion. Where was he? He looked around, and recognized that this was Serena's suite. He vaguely remembered being at the Palace Bar, but what was he doing here?
"You're finally awake, sleepyhead!" a bubbly voice said. He looked around and saw Lilly, Serena's mom.
" Hello, Mrs. Van der Woodsen," he said groggily. Nate never forgot his manners, even in situations like this. "What am I doing here?"
"Don't tell me you don't remember all the times you've woken up here before!" Lilly said in mock shock. She was still bent on figuring out what had happened between her daughter and Nate.
He laughed slightly. "And you always had coffee for me."
"I'm brewing some right now. Extra strong, with no milk or sugar, if I remember right," Lilly said warmly.
"You're an angel," Nate said.
Lilly decided that it was the perfect moment to make her move. "Tell me, Nate. What happened between you and Serena? Why haven't you two been friends at all lately?"
Those questions caught Nate off his guard. It was a little early in the morning for this kind of talk. "I-I'm not sure…I guess things just…came between us. Blair and Dan and her leaving and everything."
"Do you know why she left?" Lilly asked. It wasn't that she was nosy, but she had been worried about her daughter lately. The life had been sucked out of her, like she hadn't been enjoying anything, and she had wondered if it had anything to do with Nate or Blair or boarding school.
"It caught me by surprise," Nate said, avoiding the question. He looked down quickly.
Lilly realized that it was best not to push it. "I think it caught us all by surprise," she said. She watched him closely, realizing that the reason must have had something to do with Nate.
Nate just nodded, not looking her in the eye.
"By the way Nate, would you like to come over for dinner?"
Nate looked up, eager to accept. Then he remembered him evening with Blair. Oh no. Blair. "Well, uh, I kind of have dinner plans at 8:00, but maybe I could come over before?"
"Come over anytime, Nate. You're always welcome." Lilly smiled. Something told her that Serena needed Nate back in her life.