a/n: I seem to find myself apologizing an awful lot xD … and after you've all been so awesome and left such lovely reviews, too! I'm really sorry, but I have no real excuse – my muse is a terrible, terrible person who refuses to allow me to focus on what I want. Recently, she's redirected my creative energies into Fairy Tail fanfics, so if you like that anime/manga be sure to check out the stories, I'd appreciate that ^^ That being said, it's not that I've got a block with OTW, it's more that the muse is making me drag every word out of her inch by painful inch. So. That's why updates are so slow in coming xD BUT … rest assured, I will NOT abandon this fic. I'm seeing it through to the end despite a slow update schedule. I hope you can all forgive me and that you're all still interested in the story! Thank you to everyone for your support!
Warnings: this fic is rated M
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this story; they are the sole property of Kishimoto-san.
Chapter 3: Aftermath
"That's what you came down here in the middle of the night for?" The silence seemed to tear beneath the weight of her words. "You ignore me for days and then you don't apologize or … or … explain … instead you demand to know if I'm pregnant or not?"
Tenten's voice rose to a shriek, bitten off suddenly at the end, as if she wished she could recall the words but it was too late for that; too late to retract and retrace, to pretend as if none of it affected her. Neji had taken a small step backwards, visibly taken aback by the venom in her tone and Tenten could feel the last shreds of endurance crumble and break beneath the ice-cold stare he levelled at her. He opened his mouth; closed it again as if the words wouldn't come, but the threatening tears didn't leave any time to spare for considering Neji's thoughts and feelings. They were fairly obvious, regardless. The barely suppressed horror, the badly hidden anxiety … as if his most hated nightmares were becoming reality in front of his eyes. She'd wondered how he felt, what he thought, and now she had her answer; clearly, no matter how explosive the sex, it was something he would go to his grave regretting.
She had to get rid of him. Now.
Blinking rapidly against the onset of the traitorous tears – how had she ever entertained the thought, if only for a moment, that Neji might seriously consider one night in Suna the start of something deeper – Tenten turned and marched towards the front door. Her hand reached for the knob and she sent a fervent prayer heaven-ward that he wouldn't notice the way her fingers trembled before they curled around the hard metal. The smooth, cold touch anchored her … reminded her of the fact that nothing was as important in this moment as saving at least a little face. She couldn't cry in front of him, wouldn't. Never again.
"I promise that you'll be the first to know as soon as there is something to know," she said in a low voice, thankful that the tears didn't show in the sound.
Without waiting for a reply, and firmly leaving her gaze fixed on the floorboards, Tenten pulled the door open. She didn't know of a way to make the dismissal any clearer, short of telling him to leave, and she knew that Neji wouldn't want to linger any more than she wanted him to stay, but still his footsteps seemed impossibly slow, the stride far too reluctant for her liking.
Please, Neji. Just leave. I – I … just leave.
As if hearing her unspoken words, or maybe just respecting her obvious wishes, Neji silently moved out into the hallway. She could feel his eyes searching, roving over her, looking for any sign or signal of what she might be feeling but she was careful to keep her body language from giving anything away and refused to meet his eyes.
She sensed, more than saw, as he opened his mouth but what he had to say after her outburst was not something she wanted to hear and Tenten quickly closed the door. The soft click of the lock should have been reassuring, proof that she was alone and could give in to her feelings, but with the ghost of Neji's searching gaze still lingering on her Tenten couldn't relax. Slow and steady, she made her way back to bed, the welcoming embrace of sheets and comforter and fluffy pillows suddenly the most inviting thing in the world, and it was only when she collapsed face first into the pile of bedclothes that the tears came in blessed catharsis.
The dark wood of Tenten's front door shut inches from his nose, just as Neji whirled around and opened his mouth – to apologize or to give release to the swirling anger in his veins, he wasn't sure. It hadn't gone at all as he'd planned it out in his mind on the way over. He'd had some vague thought of Tenten laughing, reassuring him that he was worrying for nothing; a return of the camaraderie he'd always enjoyed with her. He certainly hadn't been expecting … this. Beneath the anger was the hesitant touch of bewilderment – what had brought the vitriol spilling from her lips? Why was she angry when she was quite obviously the one who had wanted him to ignore her? Wasn't his behavior exactly what she'd expected from him?
Anger won the round, bewilderment retreating to the darkest corners of his mind, as red flashed across his vision. Where did she get off yelling at him? What right did she have to be even a little put-out? As far as he could see, he'd fulfilled his role to perfection. With careful deliberation, allowing his feet to lead him back along the path he'd followed to Tenten's apartment, Neji combed through his memories. Only this time, instead of focusing on the way she'd felt and the way she'd made him feel, he concentrated on the bits in between …
Righteousness rose to accompany the anger as he melted into the shadows around the buildings, barely paying any attention to his surroundings. He had been used, if anyone had the right to be angry it was him. She hadn't wanted Neji; anyone would have sufficed and he'd been all that was on offer. She'd wanted comfort of the physical kind and he'd given her what she wanted. She was the one who had ignored him first and he'd merely been respecting her obvious wishes in the matter by giving her the space she'd clearly craved …
He shook his head violently, dark hair fanning out behind his head to melt into the darkness. No matter which way he looked at it he couldn't find fault with his actions; he couldn't begin to understand what part Tenten had taken exception to. All he'd done was try to help her, to please her …
Shock registered in the wake of the last thought, brought him to a complete standstill in the middle of a quiet, moon-swept street.
When had her happiness become so important to him?
For the first time Neji allowed himself to look past the potential problems of an unplanned pregnancy; tried to imagine what having a family – a real one – would be like. It was vague, and filled with shadows, but Tenten shone clearly; such a big part of his life already that she would easily shift into being present day in and day out.
It doused the last flames of anger, even as the images disappeared, and he couldn't help but try to view the entire situation from her point of view. How would he have reacted if the places had been reversed? A slight grimace pulled at his lips; he could imagine, easily now, how his barely repressed panic must have seemed to her – as if he regretted every part of it and wanted nothing to do with her. Reluctantly he admitted that maybe barging in the door and leading with the most pressing question hadn't been the best way to handle it.
One hand raised slowly, brushed his bangs off his forehead before trembling fingers swept down his eyes and to his jaw, as Neji remained exactly where he was and tried to puzzle out exactly what it was that he should do next. The minutes ticked slowly past, but Neji was oblivious of the passage of time as he ran over everything he knew again – suddenly focused on the shy smiles, the hesitant touches and the way she instinctively squirmed away from his first careful caresses as if she hadn't been entirely sure of what to expect …
A low groan rumbled in his chest and Neji bit his lower lip hard enough to taste blood as he realized how wrong he had been. In his inexperience he'd assumed too many things; jumped to all the wrong conclusions – the simple fact was that Tenten hadn't been avoiding him, she'd been embarrassed and shy, unsure of how to proceed.
Determination thinned his lips into a tight line; he would get it right this time. At tomorrow's training session he would apologize, explain himself, and she would listen whether she wanted to or not.
Tenten handled the scrolls with ease born of long practice; the paper furling and unfurling beneath her nimble fingers like ribbons of the finest silk. She twirled and the scrolls twirled with her, winding around her, drifting on the air currents as she manipulated them with the innate skill that only Tenten had ever been able to manage when it came to summoning. Weapons exploded into being; hurled at Neji with deadly accuracy despite the dark circles that lined her chocolate eyes.
Warily watching the almost cruel twist to her lips, Neji sighed as he positioned his body and started the first of the revolutions that would result in a cage of chakra surrounding his body and would deflect anything she threw at him. He'd lost count of the amount of times he'd had to resort to using Kaiten today; it wasn't so much a training session as it was a case of Neji serving as a target for Tenten. A target she was very determined to rip to shreds.
Wearily he slowed enough to see that the coast was clear, the latest wave of weapons lying depleted around his feet while Tenten sank back to the ground in a graceful crouch, furling the scrolls with a scowl pinching her features into a mask of anger. Contrarily, Neji couldn't help the surge of satisfaction at her expression; despite her best attempts, despite the way she'd improved by leaps and bounds since becoming a Chuunin, she still wasn't able to hit him without resorting to playing dirty. Deep down Neji was grateful for even that much of a concession from the obviously enraged girl facing him across the field littered with deep craters from his avoidance techniques, and speckled with steel weapons that sparkled in the late afternoon sunlight. No matter how angry she might be at him she hadn't been able to bring herself to aim for the Byakugan's blind-spot.
He'd been prepared; throughout the sleepless night, as he'd tried to formulate the words he wanted to speak to her, he'd already been planning on defensive manoeuvring. Knowing Tenten she would work through the lingering anger by trying to embed as many kunai into his flesh as she possibly could so he'd resolved to allow her the opportunity to get rid of the anger without actually allowing any of the weapons to hit him. But it was wearying; using Kaiten too often and for protracted periods of time always drained him and they'd been at it since early that morning, only stopping for a brief lunch break joined by Gai and Lee. The other two members of Team Gai had long since disappeared, off on another ridiculous training exercise Neji was sure.
He held up a hand, gesturing that Tenten should wait a while before launching another attack and took a few deep breaths; he was at the limit of his chakra; any more and he would collapse. There was no way he could weather another endless barrage of sharply pointed objects. His mouth thinned; he'd also resolved to respect the distance they were capable of giving each other in a battle, well aware that Tenten probably didn't want to be within touching distance of him at the moment. Tenten was a long-range fighter, preferring distance between her and her targets, he understood that, but the only rule Team Gai really had was to never give up. Add to that their deeply competitive natures and Neji knew that neither of them would ever concede to stop, not in their current moods. He had to end this spar and he had to end it quick. Unfortunately that would involve getting close.
He took a deep breath, moved into the kata and waited for Tenten to get into position too. From the corner of his vision he could just see the way her chakra flared and pulsed with her emotions and that settled the matter. Clearly she wasn't going to get it out of her system any time soon and he closed his eyes briefly, listening carefully to the sound of scrolls unfurling.
Speed, strength, that was the only way to win against Tenten; this he knew from bitter experience. With her accuracy, any weapon she wielded could be deadly and had to be treated as such. So he'd pushed himself, honing his already above-average speed until he could attack faster than she could throw. Despite the way Tenten had learned to channel chakra into axes and swords and weapons that were patently too heavy for a girl of her stature to lift, he was still naturally stronger. Long hours of working together had taught him the only way to win against Tenten was to overwhelm her, quickly and efficiently. She could last far longer than he could, her techniques not nearly as much of a drain on her chakra as his.
When the moment came, he was ready. That split second, where Tenten glanced down as she opened a scroll – her only real weakness, one she'd never managed to unlearn – was enough. By the time she was ready, eyes once again focused on her opponent, he had disappeared. She knew what was coming; long experience would have taught her the same familiarity with his favorite moves, and she was already turning when he moved into position behind her.
But she was too late, and if the fury blazing from her eyes was any indication she'd already realized that fact too. Three quick strikes, one to her shoulder, numbing her arm so she dropped the katana she'd drawn in preparation of a closer battle; another just below her ribs, not hard enough to knock the breath out of her but enough to draw a gasp, and the final one to her thigh so her leg gave way beneath her. Quick, contained motion had Neji whirling away from her before she had a chance to use the other hand to skewer him with something and he drew to a halt a foot away.
Tenten was sitting on the ground, glaring up at him, as she rubbed her free hand over her thigh and shoulder in turn, still breathing hard.
"I yield," he said quietly, meeting her gaze and relaxing into a normal standing position.
"Easy for you to say now you've won," she returned bitterly, struggling to get to her feet but her leg was still uncooperative and she winced as she slid back to the ground.
Ever alert, attuned to everything as a proper shinobi ought to be, Neji's eyes narrowed. He hadn't hit her nearly hard enough to cause that level of discomfort; she should have been able to get to her feet almost immediately after he'd withdrawn.
"What is it?" he asked sharply, already in a crouch beside her when she began to protest.
A brief tug of war ensued, as Neji pulled at the cloth that covered her leg and Tenten tried to pull her leg away, but, patience finally at an end, he swore under his breath and grabbed at the nearest kunai lying abandoned on the ground. It was razor sharp – not that he would have expected anything less from Tenten - and sliced quickly through the fabric from her calf to her hip-bone.
"What the hell? Neji!" she shrieked in protest, grabbing at the edges of the crimson fabric gaping around her leg.
Disdaining to answer her, he simply laid the kunai down next to him, having learned to respect Tenten's tools after the first time she'd sliced his unwary hand as he dropped a precious kunai uncaringly, and reached for the fabric. He brushed her hands away as she slapped at him, finally resorting to pinning both of them against her other thigh with one of his. His look of exasperated impatience was met by a defying glare from Tenten but she only bit her lip as his free hand gently pulled the fabric away from her skin.
A deep breath puffed into the air between them as Neji stared in disbelief at the deep gash on her thigh, perpendicular to the bone, raw and bleeding anew from the force inflicted when he'd struck her moments ago.
"That wasn't there a few days ago," he muttered into the silence, wondering why she hadn't gone to the hospital for treatment. The cut, though not long, definitely warranted a couple of stitches at the very least.
He could almost hear her choke and silently cursed the thoughtless words, but before he could try to save the situation she spoke up, haltingly and unwillingly, but the first time she'd spoken to him all day.
"It happened yesterday, it's nothing serious. I got careless when I cleaned my weapons after the mission, is all."
In silence they stared at the weeping red line that stood in stark contrast to the pale skin surrounding it.
With a sigh Neji released her hands and sank to the ground beside her.
"It will scar," he said finally.
"So?" she returned sharply, "what's a shinobi without a few scars."
"It must hurt," he tried again, after a moment, "let's just go to the hospital and get a dressing for it, at least?"
She didn't reply and for the moment Neji let her be, staring at the cut with detached curiosity as his thoughts whirled a mile a minute. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out and stroked softly over her skin, just above the knee, hoping she would interpret the conciliatory gesture as such.
"There's no reason to walk around in pain when there's an alternative," he tried to reason with her.
Tenten huffed an impatient breath and tried to gather the fabric around her leg, "Let it go, Neji. What do you care anyway? It's just a stupid cut."
Despite the hours spent planning, selecting the perfect words, now that the moment was upon him, Neji found that all his carefully chosen phrases flew out the window. He reached out, curled his fingers around her smaller hand, stilling the movement, and Tenten abandoned the futile attempt at covering her leg. When he still didn't release her hand, kept staring at their hands lying in her lap, her gaze turned to his face. He could feel the probing stare, the wary way she searched for answers in his expression.
"Last night … I handled it badly. Before that even," he started slowly, hating how the apology stuck in his throat. He took a deep breath and plowed ahead; now that he'd started he raced towards the finish line, feeling only relief after a long night spent agonizing over what to say.
"I didn't know how to act after … after Suna. I wasn't ignoring you, or avoiding you. I just … followed your lead. If that was wrong, then I apologize."
Neji firmly tried to ignore the stiff sound to the apology, hoping that she would read the sincerity beneath the inadequate words. To his surprise a soft huff of laughter greeted his hard-won apology and he instinctively glanced up; light eyes filled with reproach.
Tenten covered her face with her hands to try and muffle the laughter and, to his consternation, the shake of her shoulders was accompanied by the distinct sound of a sob.
"Oh, Neji … I'm sorry, I know how much it cost you to say that but it's just …" her voice trailed away helplessly, convulsing again into a mixture of laughter and tears.
He frowned when she glanced at him from between her fingers and sat back, not sure what to say or to do with the hysterical girl in front of him. Finally, she took a trembling breath and placed her hands in her lap, folded neatly.
"I didn't mean to laugh at you," she started, "No, I wasn't laughing at you – more at the situation," she corrected, "I didn't know how to act either … after."
The admission was softly spoken, but she finally risked raising her eyes to his and Neji took advantage of that fact to quickly, earnestly, press his point.
"I just don't want you to think that you have to handle any potential problems on your own."
The relief was nearly overwhelming and Neji blew out a deep breath, leaned back on his hands and waited for Tenten to reply. It was done; he'd explained his reasoning as best he could and if she wasn't satisfied with that then there was nothing else he could do. The silence stretched on and on and he finally gathered the courage to quickly glance at her.
Tenten was staring at him, head cocked to the side and a strange, speculative expression on her face but when their eyes met she quickly shook her head.
"I know," she said quietly and reached out one hand to him, "friends?"
Decisively, Neji nodded and took her hand, pulling her to her feet along with him.
"Now, you really should get that cut looked at."
a/n: Shorter than normal, I know. But I felt that this section, this interaction, was important enough to warrant its own chapter ^^ Please review and tell me what you thought!