Disclaimer: Gravity Falls is not mine (yet)

I'll admit it, that brunette kid was really cute. But what Mabel had told me was unsettling. I liked Dipper; Dipper hated Robbie, who was dating Wendy, who he liked. I think I just wiggled my way into the worlds most complicated love square. And when an ignorant little girl needed advice, who better to go to then people you just met?

I casually went up to Mabel. She was knitting something really sparkly and neon green. It hurt my eyes. "Hi Mabel. What are you doing?" I asked.

She gave me a huge braces filled smile. "I'm knitting a sweater for Waddles."

"Who?"

Mabel whistled. A little pink pig trotted up to us. He had a dark pink patch on one of his eyes and a dark pink spot on his back. I smiled. "Aw! He's so cute!"

"Yes, he is. Say hello Waddles!"

The pig squealed.

"Cute!" I said. "Now, could you and Waddles help me out with this little problem I have? I sort of like this guy, but he likes this girl who is dating someone he hates. What do I do?"

Mabel tapped her chin, thinking. "Well, Gwen, this is quite the Love Rhombus you've gotten yourself into."

"Rhombus? I thought it would be more of a square."

"Oh. Well I would just suck it up and ask the guy out. Then you're out of that love trapezoid!"

"I thought it was a love rhombus."

"Then we'll compromise and made it a love diamond!"

"How is that a compromise?"

"Fine. How about a love parallelogram?"

"No!"

"A love kite?"

I groaned and walked away. Behind me, Mabel called, "A love square?

I walked into a crumby gift shop. There were bobble heads of some creepy old guy with a fez and black suit everywhere. I shuddered. Who would want that in their room?

I wandered around the gift shop, looking at the junk. I grabbed a postcard for Ryan. He had a weird obsession with them. I think he wants to start a collection. Merry Christmas, you little brat.

I took it up to the counter where a familiar rusty haired girl was. "Hi, Wendy." I greeted, giving her the postcard.

"It's on the house. Stan won't mind missing a single quarter, will he?"

Somewhere, a voice yelled, "YES I WILL!"

I smirked and handed her a quarter. She smiled and put it in the cash register. And then it hit me- who would know what to do in a love square then another person in the same love square? Plus, she didn't even know it!

"So, Wendy, my friend has a problem. She really likes this super cute boy, but he likes this girl that is dating another boy. And she wants my advice, but I don't know what to tell her. What do I do?"

She gave a knowing smile. "What's this friend's name?"

"Well it's… sure not Gwen, that's for sure!"

Wendy chuckled. "So you should show the guy you… your friend likes that the girl he likes really isn't that great. Then he'll go to the next best thing- you!"

I nodded, but I sighed inwardly. How was I supposed to make Wendy look bad? I really liked her as a friend. She was wise… by teenager standards. I took my postcard and wandered into the main attraction room.

In there was a chubby man with a green shirt with a question mark on it. He had an oddly shaped head with a hat on it. He looked friendly enough.

"Hi. I'm Gwen."

"S'up, person I've never met before? Why ya' looken' so sad?"

"I've just got this romance problem that I can't figure out." I smiled at him. "You're a boy- what do I do?"

The man thought for a moment. "Date someone else and make the boy jealous. Then dump the fake boyfriend and the boy will comfort fake sad you and ask you out."

I nodded. "Thanks, random guy."

"Soos."

"Bless you."

"Nope, that's my name. Soos." I nodded and left the building.

Three different pieces of advice for one problem. But this was a three day stay for me, so I had to rule out Soos' idea. I walked into my mother's house and sat in the closet with my head in between my hands. I silently sobbed.

Dipper was my dream guy. He was cute. He was sensitive. He was funny. He wasn't like any other guy I had ever met. And over three days I had to get him to like me back. This was impossible.

The closet door cracked open. My mental mother was there.

"Hey, sweetie," she said, "What's wrong?"

Don't tell her! my brain yelled. She's insane! But I needed a filter that wouldn't tell. And sometimes a girl just needs her mom.

"I really like this boy, Dipper. And Dipper really likes this girl, Wendy. And Wendy is dating this guy, Robbie. And Dipper hates Robbie and vise versa. And Wendy just thinks of Dipper as a friend. And I'm friends with Wendy and Dipper, and I don't want to hurt them. I've gotten three pieces of advice, and I just don't know what to do!" I cried.

My mother sat down by me. She laughed. "It's funny, because when I was your age, I went through the exact same problem."

"Really?"

She nodded. "There was this really cute guy, Hank. And he was clueless about me liking him, so he went to liking the most popular girl in school, Patricia. Patricia was dating another guI really like this boy, Dipper. And Dipper really likes this girl, Wendy. And Wendy is dating this guy, Robbie. And Dipper hates Robbie and vise versa. And Wendy just thinks of Dipper as a friend. And I'm friends with Wendy and Dipper, and I don't want to hurt them. I've gotten three pieces of advice, and I just don't know what to do!" I cried.

My mother sat down by me. She laughed. "It's funny, because when I was your age, I went through the exact same problem."

"Really?"

She nodded. "There was this really cute guy, Hank. And he was clueless about me liking him, so he went to liking the most popular girl in school, Patricia. Patricia was dating another guy, Trey. Hank couldn't stand him. So I thought about what to do for a day. And then it hit me- we were all going out to the movies as friends, so I embarrassed the heck out of Trey. He spilt soda on Patricia, he had to borrow money from Patricia, and he ripped out some of Patricia's hair. And it was all thanks to me. So Patricia dumped Trey that day (no rhyme intended XD) and Hank went to comfort her. They decided to go on a date and I was devastated. The next day Hank came to my house and told me how awful Patricia was, and they didn't even plan a second date. So I worked up the nerve to ask him out. He said yes and we dated for 6 happy years before we got married."

I smiled. That was the first serious conversation I had ever had with my mom since after dad died. I nodded and put on a coat.

"Thanks, mom. I'm going to embarrass the heck out of Robbie!"

"Thata' girl!"

I ran outside and bumped into a fat little platinum blonde boy with a blue suit on. I cocked my head. This town had the strangest people, and I had only been there a few hours.

"Hi-a." I greeted.

"Howdy," he said, a sickly sweet southern accent in her voice. He looked into my eyes. I felt exposed. People never looked into my eyes. "Ooh, somebody's in lo-ove." He cooed.

"Shut up." I groaned. "Now I've got places to be, so if you'll just move-"

The boy stuck out his hand. "Gleeful. Gideon Charles Gleeful."

I sighed. "Gwen You-Don't-Need-To-Know-My-Last-Name."

"Now, darlin', I too have been in love with a Pines twin, and it ain't easy."

I gawked. It was like her knew everything about me. But he was looking into my eyes. Apparently my eyes say a lot about me. Or he's psycho. Most likely the latter.

"Those two are protective of each other." He slipped a little pink bottle into my hand. "You put a drop of this in that boys' drink, and he'll be head over heels in love with you."

I scoffed. "Look, Giddy, I like the offer, but I don't believe in that magic mumbo-jumbo. So I'm just going to scoot by you-"

Gideon closed my hand around the bottle. "It's a love potion, sweet pea. And I swear to ya' it'll work. Use it as a backup to the plan you choose."

I blinked and he was gone. I looked at the bottle in my hand. It had a little heart on it. I wouldn't twist Dipper's mind. That wasn't true love. I shouldn't twist Dipper's mind. It was wrong. I couldn't twist Dipper's mind.

Could I?

Okay, that was a much better ending then planned! I hope you liked me throwing Gideon in there. Wasn't expected. But I do as I please. Until next time, DUN DUN DAH!