Nick Fury was extremely good at staring people down with one eye. Maybe it was the eye patch that made him all the more scarier. Yeah, it was definitely the eye patch. But Tony still had difficulty keeping eye contact with him, even though he refused to lose this war. The two stared at each other for a matter of minutes, before Tony blinked, cursed under his breath, and looked down at his feet.

"So how was your flight?" Tony grimaced and looked at Fury out of the corner of his eye, honestly a little afraid to see the anger on the man's face.

"Uh.. Good?" Tony gestured to his injuries and places there were ice packs. Fury just nodded.

"You can't be doing shit like this, Tony."

Tony said nothing. It wasn't like he didn't know that, of course he knew. He knew he couldn't keep getting drunk, and doing idiotic things that would cause everybody problems. He also knew that he should be the one dating Pepper. Not whatever the guy's name was that she was currently dating.

"If you want to be part of The Avengers th-"

"I don't want to join your super secret boy band! We've been over this!" Tony cried, as slapped his hand down on the couch. Nick Fury could be scary as hell one minute, and annoying as hell the next.

"Be serious. We need you-"

"More than you know," Tony gave a little half smile.

"No, not that much, but we still need you, Tony," Fury sighed.

Tony began to laugh, and put his hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles. Nick raised an eyebrow at Tony.

"I don't see what's so funny."

"If you were as drunk as I am you would," Tony laughed.

"Tony," there came the extreme serious note of Nick Fury's voice. This was when you knew that he meant business. But then again, Fury always meant business. He was the most real person you would ever meet.

"You're not the only superhero out there-" Tony interrupted Nick again.

"So you're admitting that I'm a superhero?" Tony grinned and looked at Fury. "Okay, I'm sorry. I still don't know if I should be looking in the patch or the eye."

Nick just stared at Tony. Tony stared at Nick. Both with a simple look of annoyance, confusion, and a hint of anger. Well, Tony wasn't angry, just fed up with life. And a bit drunk. Either way, Nick ignored his comment.

"Well, you sure as hell ain't acting like a superhero right now, Stark. At least the rest of them have the decency to-" Nick was getting fed up with Tony interrupting him.

"The decency to what? Wear spandex and underwear over their clothes? I'm not wearing spandex," Tony crossed his arms and an ice pack fell off of his head.

"-The decency to not get shitfaced and disrupt traffic, and cause havoc in general. It's just you that does it," Fury sighed.

Tony made retching noises, and covered his mouth.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling so good," Tony retched again. "D'you think you could get me a bucket? Or a Tupperware container? Or a top hat?"

Nick shook his head, "that's strike one, Tony."

"What'll happen if I get three strikes? You gonna spank me?" Tony grinned, as he suddenly lifted his hand once more to cover his mouth.

Nick sighed. There was no getting through to Tony Stark, especially when he was still slightly intoxicated. He didn't listen, even when he was sober. But Nick really needed Tony to understand. Understand that Tony was more important than he knew, and the world really couldn't afford for him to keep causing trouble. SHIELD couldn't keep wasting their time to clean up Tony's wreckage, they did have other problems to deal with. But unfortunately, Tony was their biggest one. As Tony leaned over and looked at the floor with his hand over his mouth, Nick Fury couldn't help but shake his head.

"You should really consider going to rehab, Tony," Nick muttered, as he turned to exit the house.

And as Tony finally vomited, a small part in the back of his brain was considering rehab for the second time.

...

A/N: Yes, I know this chapter is incredibly short, but there's just not much I can do with dialogue between Nick Fury and Tony Stark! Especially a half drunk Tony. Sorry. It's the least I can do. But there will be another chapter soon enough, and it most likely - definitely - will not include a half-assed convo between Fury & Stark. Review? :)