Story: When Everything Changed

Summary: Something inside begins to protest her actions causing Bellatrix to question herself and those around her. How will her world as she knows it be affected? BL/HG

Rated: M

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything. I am merely borrowing the characters to play my own little game with them.

A/N 1: Italics are a flashback. Also ** before a new paragraph after a break indicates a scene change. While xx means skipping further into that scene. I just wanted to clarify. Please let me know if these symbols aren't showing up.

A/N 2: Though I have edited this more than once I am sure there are still mistakes. This is unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.

A/N 3: Not the original. Revised and Reposted.
_

Hermione's POV

Rays of sun filter through the curtains and dance in front of my closed eyelids. Ron is running his fingers through my hair as I pretend to sleep. I've been up for a while thinking about life and friends: particularly Bellatrix. It's been almost two months since I left Bellatrix at the cave and I have not heard a word from her. I sent out an owl but received no reply. I was under the impression that she wanted to try to be friends. Did she change her mind?

I push away the irritation that Ron was trying to wake me up even though I was already up. I know exactly why he wants me up I can feel it pressing against my lower back. I roll out of Ron's strong arms. His embrace isn't as comfortable as it used to be. Before I can reach the edge of the bed his arm snakes around my uncovered waist.

I feel vulnerable. I yank the covers over my chest. I don't want his eyes roaming me again.

He had his chance at that last night and he took it. I know I shouldn't, but I let him touch me. Let him put himself inside of me so I could escape my overactive mind. So I could forget the nagging voice in the back of my head that has been telling me our relationship is wrong.

The same voice keeps telling me to look back and find a time I was attracted to men, and I can't think of one. I push that thought aside though. Of course I am. I just haven't found the right man yet: until then I have Ron. He loves me, and he keeps me safe. Sex is a small price to pay for what he gives me: a sense of self, and security.

I really do love him. Part of me thinks if I make it through this rough patch in the relationship it will be worth it. Another part of me occasionally tries to tell me I'm the only one who sees the rough patch.

Ron pulls me closer and presses his naked body against mine. He places light, scratchy kisses along my bare shoulder and his lean muscles feel wrong against me.

Closing my eyes I pretended to enjoy it as he lavishes me with his mouth. I let out insincere moans. I let him touch me wherever he wants as I try to focus on the sensations. Not what will come next. I don't want to think about how when Ron is inside of me I will think of someone else. I feel guilty for doing so but I feel worse because of who I think of, and what that will mean for me.

Lightly I push on his shoulders. "Ron not now. I don't feel good." His movements immediately stop and he lies beside me gathering me in his arms.

"Is there anything I can get you? A potion? Soup?"

"No." He tightens his embrace on me as guilt begins to course through my veins. I don't deserve this kindness. Not while my mind is currently screaming that he is not the one I want.

**
Leaning against the tree I watch the gnomes running freely through the garden. I can sense eyes on me. They are boring holes in my flesh, and their owner is standing just out of view. I can tell his gaze apart from any other as his concern radiates across the lawn. He won't approach me though, because Ron has come to understand I need time alone.

His footsteps fade and I know he has left. Yet someone is still watching me. I shiver under their gaze. Glancing around I can see a shadow behind a tree at the edge of the woods.

Taking out my wand I inch my way over to the trees. For a moment dark brown eyes stare out at me before I realize who they belong to. "Bellatrix is th…" A loud crack fills the air and she is gone. "Damn it!"

I know it is dangerous, but an image of her face in mind I turn on the spot and I am squeezed into blackness.

**
Instantly I open my eyes praying that it has worked. Quickly I take in my surroundings: I am in a forest where the leaves are so thick the sunlight can only reach the ground in small spread out patches. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a cloak swishing out of sight.

The rustling and cracks are rapidly becoming fainter I begin to run in that direction.

"Bellatrix! Hey, wait up!" I yell through uneven breaths.

I can tell I am gaining on her as her figure becomes more pronounced. Long wavy black hair flows freely behind her. With a burst of speed I catch up to her and grab her wrist. Bellatrix whips around to look at me; dark bags have formed under her eyes, she is thinner than I remember, almost as if she is freshly out of Azkaban. Her eyes are darting around as her chest hastily rises and falls. "What the hell?" My voice is louder than I meant it to be as I struggle to get enough oxygen. "Why did you run?" I can hear the hurt and confusion oozing out of my voice. I clear my expression. Not wanting to appear hurt even if I am.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Bellatrix, you were the one who came to me."

"You shouldn't be here." She is refusing to look at me. I can see her walls forming. Somehow this only makes me want to be here more.

"Please look at me," I say quietly. I watch her walls crash down as she loses her resolve. Her eyes lock with mine and instantly I know why I didn't hear from her. "What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't be here." I know I won't get anything else from her.

"I know, but I want to be." Her chocolaty eyes soften and again I am floored by her beauty.

She nods and begins to walk away. I follow her. As we walk the only sounds that can be heard are those of snapping twigs and the crunching of fallen leaves.

I don't know what to say to help her. I can see her repeatedly glancing at me but I pretend not to notice. "Where are you staying?"

"In the Forbidden Forest." I raise my eyebrow as I look around.

"This isn't the Forbidden Forest." She shrugs. Does she really think it is safe for her to be so close to Hogwarts?

"Needed to clear my mind."

"Why?"

"It's not important."

"Did you get my letter?"

"Yes. I need to go."

I put my hand on her shoulder. Her eyes land on mine and I immediately begin to struggle with the power they hold over me. I want to lose myself in the depths of those dark pools. Even more I want her to let me, and want me to see what lies within them. "What's going on? Why won't you let me see you? Why won't you return my letters? I've been…" I've been worried about her, but I am not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that.

"You shouldn't be here."

"I know, you've said that already," I irritably reply.

"With me Hermione. You shouldn't be here with me. You have a family, friends, and a boyfriend back at the Weasley's. You should be there where you are out of harm's way."

Why would I be in danger when I'm around Bellatrix? When I'm with her it's the safest I've ever felt.

"I need to go."

"Can I join you?'

"I don't know if…" She stops as she turns her head and her eyes find mine. "Yes." I slide my hand into hers and our surroundings disappear.

xx
As the world snaps back into focus I find myself in front of a gate. Peering through the bars I can make out a large home located at the edge of a forest; hidden in the shadows. "Bella," I turn to discover a small smile on her face. "Where are we?"

"The Black Manor."

"The… Why aren't you hiding here?"

"Technically the estate now belongs to Narcissa since I have passed away."

"But you haven't passed away."

"Yes, but Narcissa doesn't know that, and could come here at any time. Though the family home is mine the wards do not keep her out."

"Because she is family. Why didn't the property go to Andromeda? I mean Narcissa already has the Malfoy manor."

"Andromeda is a blood traitor." I notice that Bellatrix has not let go of my hand since we apparated.

She appears deep in thought so I squeeze her hand. She glances up at me before her eyes travel down to our linked hands. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as she squeezes back.

"The wards," Bellatrix states her eyes riveted on our joined hands, "Will remember my magical signature. The next time Cissy and her family visit they will be able to detect I've been here."

"I read somewhere there is a way to trick the wards into thinking your signature is someone else's."

"There is, but what I have in mind is much simpler. I need your help though."

"What do you need me to do?" I am disappointed when Bellatrix lets go of my hand and stands behind me.

"Take out your wand." She slowly slides her hand down my arm as the other comes to rest on my waist. I am having a hard time breathing regularly and I am praying that Bellatrix does not hear my heart beating wildly in my chest as the images my mind created while I was having sex with Ron flash through my head: images of Bellatrix.

Her hand wraps around my wand hand and she raises our joined hands so that my wand is aimed above the gates. "Have you ever shifted wards before?"

"No."

"What I want you to do is simple. I will tell you the incantations and you repeat them. The wards will not react to you; however, I will be contributing just enough magic that they will recognize me. But next time my sister comes to visit or her fool of a husband they most likely will not pick up on the hint of my magic, rather notice yours."

"So I'm covering up your magical signature. What if they are here now?"

"They're not."

"Isn't there an easier way?" I ask motioning to our position.

"Perhaps," she whispers in my ear. Chills run down my spine and subtly I shake my head: my body needs to stop. I can't have this kind of reaction to Bellatrix. I'm with Ron. I love him. Turning my head to the side I glance at Bellatrix and she smiles at me: I return the gesture.

I back further into her body so she does not need to stretch her arm as far. "What if my magical signature raises concern when the Malfoys stay here?"

"Oh it will, but they won't know whose signature it is nor will they call the Ministry in to investigate, because there are many dangerous dark art items in that house. Poor Lucius would not want to lose his job again. Are you ready?"

I nod. Bellatrix whispers incantations into my ears which I carefully repeat. The power needed behind the magic causes our joined hands to glow. I watch in awe as the yellow rolling off my hand intertwines with the slight hint of purple that Bellatrix is releasing. The magic rolls off my wand and mixes with the spell we are performing. As the spell hits the ward the invisible barrier appears. It snaps its stiches and realigns around the entrance of the gate.

"Let go," Bellatrix whispers in my ear. I do as she instructs and the force of our spell sends us sprawling backward. Somehow Bellatrix manages to keep her footing and catch me before I hit the ground.

With some effort I manage to right myself. My whole body is shaking. Glancing over at Bellatrix she looks pale, but not as drained.

"How are you feeling?" She asks quietly.

"Tired."

"You need chocolate. Are you up to performing one last spell?" She asks she closes the gates behind us.

Nodding I raise my wand. "Are you going to help?" Bellatrix has not moved from where she is standing.

"There is no need. I had you embed your signature into the wards so they will now recognize your magic. You are free to come and go from The Black Manor whenever you please."

"Bellatrix I…Thank you."

"Let's go inside." Bellatrix tells me the incantation, which I perform. I have to sprint to catch up with her when I am done because she has almost made it half way across the lawn. Everything about the land surrounding The Black Manor is gorgeous, especially as the leaves begin to change. Even the manor is beautiful in an ominous way.

xx
"Wow."

Bellatrix smiles at me, "I thought you might like it." My eyes dart across the library attempting to take in all of the books at once.

Bellatrix waves her hand and the fireplace springs to life. "I'm going to get chocolate. Would you like anything else?"

"No thanks. Do you need help?"

"No." As Bellatrix exists the room I notice a large family tree on the back wall. It is the only wall not lined with bookshelves and as I get closer I realize the family tree is identical to the one in Grimmauld Place.

My eyes travel the lineage and I make connections I had not before. Bellatrix comes to stand beside me and hands me a bar of chocolate. "Thank you."

"I don't know how old it is so be careful."

"Do you want a piece?"

"A small one might do me some good. I forgot how draining adjusting the wards can be even when you are not the primary source of magic." My fingertips brush over the palm of her hand as I hand her a piece of chocolate. I suppress the urge to intertwine our fingers knowing that nothing good could come of it.

"Is there a Lestrange Manor?"

"There was. It was destroyed during the second war with the Dark Lord…"

"His name is Voldemort. Tom Riddle to be accurate," I interrupt. "You no longer serve him nor did you serve him in the end. He does not deserve your respect."

"Voldemort. I can show you where the Manor used to be one day; if you'd like."

"That'd be nice. If it were still standing would you live there?"

"No."

"What if you hid on the grounds?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Another time, Hermione." I know better than to push.

My eyes fall on where Sirius should be on the family tree. In his place is a giant black hole. "He was too young to die," Bellatrix states. "I shouldn't have killed him." Turing to Bellatrix I am floored by the sorrow on her face.

"He was a good man and Harry's best friend. Harry will never say it, but he viewed Sirius as his only living family member." I state.

"I know."

"But you are redeeming yourself and you continue to every day."

"I'm not so sure of that."

"I am."

"I know you are."

I return my attention to the family tree and my eyes land on Andromeda, who has been removed from the family tree in the same way. I glance over at Bellatrix: her back is toward me as she stares into the fire. My eyes find her on the tree.

"Um, Bellatrix?"

"Yes?"

"You might want to look at this." She turns around and I point to her spot on the family tress. A black hole has replaced where her face used to be.

I hear her whisper, "Blood traitor."

**
Knocking on the door I wait. I can hear shuffling on the other side. The door opens and I am gazing into the kind face of Andromeda Tonks. "Hermione, dear, please come in!" She steps aside and I enter the house. I can hear Teddy cooing from the direction of the living room.

"I was wondering if Tonks is here?"

"She just ran to the store, but she should be back soon. Follow me darling." I walk behind Andromeda into the living room where Teddy is playing with toys in his crib.

I sit on the couch and glance around before returning my attention to Tonks' mom. For a moment all I can see is Bellatrix. Their features are so similar, but the small differences begin to make themselves present. Lighter hair, less haunted eyes, and more shapely; Andromeda and Bella could be twins. Even though Bellatrix is the oldest of the Black sisters she does not at all look it, and I wouldn't have guessed she is, if I had not seen the family trees. "You look like you have something on your mind dear."

I look up into all too familiar chocolaty brown eyes and make a decision. "Dromeda …could you tell me about Bellatrix?"

"My older sister." She states I can sense the silence that is about to descend upon us. There is anger written clearly on her face, but it doesn't mask the love. "She wasn't always so horrible," A smile tugs at the corner of her lips. "She always called me her little angel. Our parents were never around; they were too caught up in the dark arts. Bella took care of us. Sometimes I wonder if she had, had the freedom to be a kid would she still have been as evil. Doesn't matter now right? She died serving her master. That's the way she would have wanted it."

I want to tell her that Bella's not dead. That I saw Dromeda that I spent the day with Bellatrix yesterday. I want to share with her how wonderful it is to have a friend who is not friendly with the Weasleys or Harry. I want to tell her about how Bellatrix is one of the only reasons Voldemort lost.

The front door opens and closes. Tonks walks into the room her hair a faded bubblegum pink. It's good to see she is getting back to her normal self, or at least as normal as she will ever be after her husband's death.

"Hermione what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you… but I think your mom has answered my question. I should go." I stand up and she watches me curiously. I can see worry flashing in her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I reply quietly, looking away.

"I'll walk you out."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

"Okay." I walk out of the house and Tonks follows me. Once we are outside she closes the door.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She sends me a disbelieving look, and I feel bad. I know how it is to be concerned about someone and have them avoid your questions. "I can't tell you."

"Okay," My statement only increases the worry I see in her eyes. "Why did you come over?"

"I…I…honestly I don't know." I needed advice: about Ron and about Bellatrix, but I could never betray Bellatrix's trust. I needed advice on love, on life, on everything.

"Alright," She places her hand on my arm. "You don't look well, Hermione. I am worried about you."

I nod, "I know. I'm fine though. I promise." I know she doesn't believe me but it is the best I can do right now.

I have so many questions involving Ron. I love him. I know I do, but my interactions will Bellatrix make me stop and question the depth of my feelings. There is also Bellatrix and the odd friendship we have developed.

Maybe I'll visit Hogwarts.

Hogsmeade is crowded with students as I apparate into the street. I recognize only a few of them, such as, Denis Creevey. "Ms. Granger," says a squeaky, pleased voice from behind me.

Turning I see my former charms teacher. "Professor Flitwick! How are you?"

"Wonderful my dear, absolutely wonderful. What brings you to Hogsmeade?"

"I had a feeling this is where I would find Professor McGonagall since it is a Hogsmeade weekend. She still joins the students although she is the Headmistress right?"

"Indeed she does. In fact I saw her only moments ago in the Three Broomsticks."

"Thank you Professor. It was great to see you again."

I open the door to the Three Broomsticks and the place is packed with students. I squeeze my way up to the counter and make polite conversation with Rosemerta while she makes me a butterbeer. Peering around the pub I spot Professor McGonagall and Hagrid sitting at a table in the corner.

I make my way over to them. They seem to be involved in a light hearted conversation. Hagrid is facing me and spots me first. He waves at me knocking over his drink. Professor McGonagall flicks her wand and the mess is cleaned up. She turns to see who Hagrid was waving to and smiles as her eyes land on me.

Hagrid gets up and in a booming voice exclaims " 'Mione! Wha' are yeh doin' 'ere?" He pulls me into a bone crushing hug.

"Hagrid… I can't…breathe," I manage to say. He let's go of me and I discreetly rub my ribcage which causes Professor McGonagall to chuckle. Her eyes rapidly study me and her mood sobers slightly. I feel guilty coming here and ruining her good mood.

I seem to feel guilty for a lot of things these days.

I take a seat next to her and sip my butterbeer. " 'Mione yeh n'ver ans'red my question."

"I needed to speak with Professor McGonagall. How have you been Hagrid?"

"Good. How 're Harry and Ron?"

"Great last time I checked."

"Well I'll leave yeh two. I 'ave work on the grounds 'at I shoul' be attendin' to."

"Bye Hagrid." He roughly pats me on the back and leaves.

I turn to Professor McGonagall who is watching two Slytherins closely. She flicks her wand and the nasty half of the Puking Pastille they are trying to slip into a first years' drink explodes in their faces.

"You needed to talk?" I can hear the overwhelming care in her tone. My only response is to look her in the eyes. "What is it?" I can feel the heavy silencing charm she casts over us.

"I… life." She raises and eyebrow and waits. "Things with Ron…well…I…" I give up trying to explain and hope that she understands what I was attempting to express.

"Start from the beginning."

"I love Ron. I know I do."

"You sound as if you are trying to convince yourself dear."

"I…I might be. Lately, well since our relationship started really, it has been purely," I can feel the blush creep up on my cheeks, "Physical." I glance at Professor McGonagall. Her face has remained unphased, almost; I notice the small smirk upon her lips. " I don't know what I want anymore."

"It is perfectly natural to be afraid of leaving behind your security blanket, Hermione. However, while it is clear you love Mr. Weasley, you need to ask yourself if you are still in love with him."

"Of cour…" My shoulders sink with the weight of the truth. "No." Professor McGonagall covers my hand with hers.

"There is more isn't there dear?"

"I've realized that all the people in my life are connected to Ron and Harry in some way. You are one of the few who are connected to them, but not in a way that you favor them, or I could not talk to you. That is not to say that you do not care about them, because I can tell you do. At the moment I really wish that my parents were still around."

"When you are ready I can help you bring them back to Britain."

"But I erased their memories."

"There are ways to counteract the effect of the spell."

"Thank you." Tears well in my eyes as I smile at Professor McGonagall. A comfortable silence falls over us as Rosemerta appears and we order more drinks before the silencing charm is put back in place.

"Is Bellatrix still in the forest?" I ask quietly.

"I had a feeling the two of you would keep in touch. No she is not. I met her at the edge of the forest last night and she informed me she was leaving. She appeared rather upset; much like yourself."

"I'm not…" I don't bother finishing knowing there is no use in arguing with the truth. "Yesterday we spent the afternoon together, and when I left Bellatrix seemed fine; better in fact, than earlier in the day."

"Tell me about yesterday."

For the first time I find myself hesitant to talk to Professor McGonagall. "Well we went to the Black Manor and spent most of the day talking in the library."

"Bellatrix was risking a great deal by taking you there."

"I know. There was one thing that was rather odd."

"What?" Professor McGonagall moves forward in her seat. There is worry carved into the few lines on her face.

"Well there is a family tree in the library and there was a hole where Bellatrix's face used to be."

"If Lucius notices there will be trouble." I observe Professor McGonagall while she is lost in thought. There are so many things I do not know about the woman in front of me. I have so many questions, but do not know how to ask them.

"It is curious that Bellatrix would bring you to the Black Manor."

"She said that the Lestrange Manor was destroyed."

"Indeed it was, but that is not where I am going with this. Pardon my abruptness, but have you ever found yourself attracted to women?"

"I…I've thought about it."

"I see," Professor McGonagall smiles at me and my nerves disappear.

"The first time you thought about it was in your fifth year was it not?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"If I remember correctly that year was the first time you had an encounter with Bellatrix."

"It was."

"It could be a coincidence that you first questioned your sexuality when you met Bellatrix and now, three years later, you have begun to question your feelings toward Ronald, but I doubt it."

My heart stops: she's right.