Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. Set post Whistle Stop. M/M

AN: And once again it took me forever to update. So sorry, but thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I really appreciate that so many of you took the time to let me know what you think of the story. It really helps me to continue writing, despite how slow I am to update. Hope you like this chapter. It didn't exactly go where i thought it would, but that always seems to be the case so perhaps I should just stop trying to point the story in a certain direction and let it go where it pleases. Let me know what you think.

Chapter 4

Mary wasn't sure how long she had been wrapped in Marshall's embrace, but she wasn't in any hurry to leave his arms. Her head on his chest rose and fell with each breath, and the steady beat of his heart against her ear was surprisingly soothing. She had never felt as comfortable with anyone as she did with this man, but even though she trusted him above all others she knew that soon she would need to pull back and regroup. The embarrassment was already starting to creep in and Marshall didn't need to be dealing with this weepy, girly version of his normally kick ass partner.

But man, being with him like this felt so good that she was loathe to move away. Surely a few more minutes wouldn't hurt. Besides, she thought when she noticed Marshall's hand stroking gently up and down her back, he doesn't seem to mind.

After convincing herself to just relax and appreciate the comfort her partner was offering her mind drifted back to the words he had spoken earlier. If Marshall said it wasn't her fault then she was going to let herself believe him, or at least try. Really all Marshall and Raph had done was confirm what she had felt all along; she did not belong with Raph.

She felt relief wash over her as she finally fully accepted the truth of that statement and its implications. She had been striving for so long to make the relationship work because she wanted to prove that she could. But not all relationships work. In fact most don't, and a person can't be blamed for not falling in love. For some reason she had gotten in her head that Raph was her only chance and she had stubbornly ignored all evidence to the contrary. A million things about the man had grated on her nerves and tried her patience, but every time she considered ending it she would remind herself that Raph was a wonderful guy, and there were millions of women who would kill to have what she was this close to kicking to the curb. Finally she could accept that Raph being a great guy did not mean he had to be the guy, and not loving him enough to make forever work did not have to mean there was something wrong with her.

She was glad she came to Marshall tonight. He was always able to calm her down and make her see reason when she got too worked up to think straight. She wondered why that was. When anyone else tried to point out anything to her she immediately got defensive, but Marshall could almost always get through to her. He was in her head, seemed to know what she needed even when Mary herself wasn't sure. It was disconcerting and yet comforting at the same time.

Marshall knew her. He was maybe the only person who truly did and yet he was still here, despite all she put him through, holding her like he never wanted to let go. And she realized she didn't want him to. Perhaps it wasn't very practical to remain like this forever, and it was just the type of overly sentimental notion that she usually scoffed at, but the idea of being with Marshall like this every day was surprisingly appealing.

Mary tensed. Realizing the direction of her thoughts she decided it was time to pull back, get a little distance. This closeness was going to her head and making her think crazy things. She and Marshall weren't like that. He was her best friend and she was just subconsciously looking to someone she trusted sooth the pain of rejection. Mary did not have feelings for Marshall, and he certainly didn't have feelings for her.

Mary pushed off his chest and moved back on the couch, careful to leave some space between them.

Marshall felt Mary go stiff against him but he continued to stroke her back hoping she would relax again and they could stay like this a bit longer. When she pulled away from him a few moments later he suspected her walls would be up again and she would try pretend that she was completely fine and the last few hours had never happened.

Mary steeled herself to meet Marshall's eyes, suddenly worried about what she would find there after her uncharacteristic display of vulnerability, and even more terrified of what he might see in her. But she looked up and there was her best friend wearing an expression of concern and affection, a bit of mushroom still stuck to his face and she couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips.

Marshall was confused. When Mary first glanced up at him she had seemed timid, even a bit worried, and the next thing he knows she's laughing at him. He was glad to see her smile again, even if it was at his own expense, but he at least wanted to be let in on the joke.

Mary noticed his confusion and rolled her eyes, a huge grin still firmly in place. "You've got a face full of fungus, doofus," she said as she removed the offending object and held it out for him to see.

Though he missed the feel of her in his arms and he was still curious about the brief flash fear he had seen in her eyes, he was relived at the opportunity to lighten the mood so he played along.

"I was just saving it for later," he replied, snagging the mushroom from her fingers and popping it into his mouth.

"Ugh gross," she said, making a disgusted face. "God, you are such a dork"

"Yeah, but you love me anyway," he said teasingly.

And she did. He was her best friend; of course she loved him. It wasn't really something she thought about, just something that was a part of her. He had wormed his way under her defenses and she hadn't realized how far until they were sitting in that dusty old gas station and she was faced with the possibility of losing him. So she told him he had to stay, knowing that she needed him more than she had ever needed anyone, and he had. He had proved time and again that he would always be there for her in any way that she needed. He was the one person she could always count on to stand by her no matter what. She didn't need to put on a front with Marshall. He had seen her at her worst and could deal with anything she threw at him. He let her do what she needed to do and always had her back if things went sideways.

None of this was a revelation but for some reason in this moment everything seemed to fall into place taking on a new meaning, and the feelings she had tried to push aside just a few minutes earlier came flooding back even stronger than before.

Marshall watched Mary's expression go from amused to pensive and then shift to something more intense, but before he could decipher it Mary's lips were pressed against his and all rational thought fled from his mind.

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