Beginning Notes: Hooooh boy

Chapter III: Confessions

Jackson Teller: For every like this gets, I'll do a confession :D

Tara Knowles, Wendy Case, Collette Jane and 19 others like this post

Half-Sack Epps: Oh boy.
Gemma Teller Morrow: Oh hell.
Clarence Morrow: Oh shit.

Jackson Teller: Confession #1 - I had a crush on Margaret Murphy in the eighth grade.

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Margaret Murphy: I'M FLATTERED JAX HOW ARE THE BOYS
Gemma Teller Morrow: How badly did I fuck you up? Honestly? One a scale from like, Half-Sack to Happy?
Clarence Morrow: He's definitely a Tig, at this point.
Tara Knowles: If we're being technical
Jackson Teller: no…
Tara Knowles: Jax never went onto the ninth grade
Gemma Teller Morrow: Where is this going…?
Tara Knowles: because he dropped out in the summer between his eighth and ninth grade year
Opie Winston: TARA DON'T
Tara Knowles: So Jax is still in the eighth grade. Therefore…
Wendy Case: I'm gonna be sick.
Gemma Teller Morrow: I don't get it.
Tig Trager: PRESERVE HER
Tara Knowles: JAX STILL HAS A CRUSH ON MARGARET AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jackson Teller: I don't know why ur laughing that just means I don't like u
Gemma Teller Morrow: OOP.

Jackson Teller: confession #2 - I own and collect Littlest Pet Shop figures

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Collette Jane: omg wanna swap?
Wendy Case: I only have like, four :/
Jackson Teller: N00B - Collette Jane likes this comment
Gemma Teller Morrow: oh god
Half-Sack Epps: I own all 3179 of them :)
Juice Ortiz: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ^
Half-Sack Epps: only for you, bb
Juice Ortiz: whAT
Half-Sack Epps: nothing :)

Jackson Teller: this isn't a personal confession but fuck confidentiality lol confession #3 - mom has a crush on Nero

Nero Padilla, Tara Knowles and 2 others like this post

Nero Padilla: it's more than a crush… ;)
Gemma Teller Morrow: THE FUCK JACKSON
Tara Knowles: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Gemma Teller Morrow: stfu he has a crush on your boss
Tara Knowles: :(
Clarence Morrow: TF NERO I THOUGHT WE WERE HOMIES
Nero Padilla: bby shhhh it's ok
Clarence Morrow: YOU'RE FUCKING MY WIFE?
Gemma Teller Morrow: …
Nero Padilla: Currently?
Gemma Teller Morrow: SHUT UP.
Nero Padilla: Yeah, currently, at this moment, I'm fucking your EX-wife. Like holy shit Clay give it up
Gemma Teller Morrow: FUCKING SHIT NERO
Opie Winston: Ah, gross mom! Nero? I thought you were getting your nails done or something
Nero Padilla: something's getting done but it ain't her nails lololol
Clarence Morrow: FUC KI NG

Jackson Teller: Confession #4 - i have a recurring nightmares about the cheese sauce, tortilla chip and margarita mix story

Tara Knowles, Opie Winston, Donna Winston, Lyla Winston, Juice Ortiz and 2 others like this post

Tara Knowles: the fucKING CHEESE SAUCE STORY OMG NO
Opie Winston: Don't. Don't, don't, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't please GOD don't
Donna Winston: SHUDDERING OMFG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lyla Winston: I think we're the only ones that remember it, tbh xC
Jackson Teller: thaT'S A FUCKING SHAME BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SCARRED
Gemma Teller Morrow: I'm confused. - Tig Trager, Happy Lowman, Chibs Telford and 20 others like this comment
Jackson Teller: OH BOY.
Tara Knowles: Okay, I'll tell it.
Opie Winston: pls Tara no
Tara Knowles: Jax, Opie, Donna, Lyla, Juice, Wendy, Half-Sack and I all went out for a best friend's day… and keep up with the story people, because the shit gets weird.
Opie Winston: Half-Sack, who's like… a shroom addict or some shit idk, he left his shrooms in Gemma's fridge on accident
Wendy Case: Do you see where this is going because I sure as hell didn't
Juice Ortiz: Gemma thought they were regular mushrooms and put them in her salad. She tripped out first.
Gemma Teller Morrow: I did what now?
Lyla Winston: Tig found her in the backyard. Sitting naked in a tub of cheese sauce. Giggling like a schoolgirl.
Gemma Teller Morrow: NO.
Jackson Teller: YES. Realizing what happened, he ate some of the salad. IT JUST GOES FUCKING DOWNHILL FROM HERE GUYS
Donna Winston: It wasn't long until Clay came home. While Gemma was bathing in her tub of cheese sauce and getting crunk, he too was butt naked and was tossing tortilla chips on her like it was stripper money. He was making it rain.
Tig Trager: I'm not surprised.
Gemma Teller Morrow: oh my GOD
Happy Lowman: KEEP GOING.
Tara Knowles: tf don't rush me motherfucker. But anyways, Clay and the gang came in and didn't want to be the only sober ones because that's boring ass shit. They each ate a mushroom off of Gemma's half-eaten plate and got HIGH AS SHIT.
Lyla Winston: Next thing we know, we come home to find Luann and Gemma wrestling naked in cheese sauce while Tig, Happy, Clay and Chibs threw tortilla chips on them.
Gemma Teller Morrow: oh my god.
Luann Delaney: and no one filmed it? WHAT THE HELL THAT COULD'VE BEEN A GREAT VIDEO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET GEMMA TO DO A VIDEO FOR YEARS AND THE ONE TIME SHE DOES SOMETHING WORTHY OF ONE, IT'S NOT CAMERA. YOU'RE ALL FIRED.
Clarence Morrow: wait… margarita mix?
Jackson Teller: Bobby & Jury were eating margarita mix from the packets and talking about the odds of them being the sperm that fertilized their mother's egg
Bobby Munson: yea not surprised lel

Jackson Teller: I'm sleepy so no more confessions lel gn

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Tara Knowles: SO IN CONCLUSION
Collette Jane: Jax has a LPS collection that we should toooootally share one day
Gemma Teller Morrow: I once got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with my best friend
Nero Padilla: I'm fucking the one that got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with her best friend
Clarence Morrow: I hate the guy that's fucking the one that got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with her best friend
Bobby Munson: dry margarita mix is good as fuck
Margaret Murphy: JAX HAS A CRUSH ON ME :)
Happy Lowman: if I'm ever short on money, I'll just use tortilla chips
Wendy Case: AND GOOD NIGHT.

End Notes: Not really that funny but oh well