Author's Note - Here's chapter 4, very short again sorry, it's just what comes out organically. Quick side comment before the chapter starts, are there any ER fans reading this? If so, I was wondering if it ever occurred to anyone that Doug Ross and Carol Hathaway could actually work at Grey Sloan for the transplant team, you know in dream television world. Anyway in my mind they do, carry on.
Light.
Not the sun rising through the trees of the lonely Idaho forest but piercing, bright light that renders half of her surroundings indiscernible. And through that light slowly, she can see the hospital and the pain is becoming less outrageous. And breathing is becoming easier.
'It's been a year'
Cristina. That's her hand, and she's talking. It's been a year. Fuck, Arizona closes her eyes as the intensity of what just happened comes crashing down around her. Mark is dead. Her leg is gone.
'We are ok'
Arizona can't help the sob that breaks through as she realises just how not okay she really is. Nothing is ok. How long has she been sitting on the floor? How long has she spent in the prison that was now her mind? She feels Cristina slip her hand out from within her grasp and stand beside her. She hears her whisper a few words to someone and then slip out of the room. Arizona opens her eyes, still crying in earnest as she tries to regain control of her own thoughts and actions. She sees Callie, sitting on the edge of the bed across from her. Her elbows are on her knees and her hands clasped together. Her eyes are wet and tears still flow freely down her face but it's the look that Arizona finds there that makes her reach her hands out towards Callie. It isn't 'the look', there is no pity. Instead she sees desperation and, even more so, determination.
Callie stands up and leans down to help Arizona up, wrapping her in a comforting hug. She pulls away slightly to look into Arizona's bloodshot eyes.
'I'm so sorry. We should've gotten you more help'
Arizona leans her forehead against Callie's taking in a deep breath,
'I should've told you, talked to you. It's just'
She stops talking shaking her head and burying it once again in the crook of Callie's neck, inhaling the scent of her hair. Callie kissed the top of her head,
'We suck at communicating don't we' She whispered, a sad half smile on her face. Arizona just stayed in her position, holding onto Callie just a bit more tightly as the flow of her tears began to ebb. Callie maneuvered Arizona onto the bed and pulled out her phone. She turned on her own flashlight and set it down on the bed beside her wife before starting to reattach Arizona's prosthetic.
'Thank you' Arizona whispered, her eyes fixated on Callie, she noticed the scratch marks on Callie's forearm as Callie pulled her up from the bed,
'Did I hurt you?' She asked softly, still revelling in the softness and comfort of Callie's embrace. Callie looked down at her arm, honestly surprised to find anything there, she hadn't been thinking about anything other than Arizona.
'No, no I'm fine, come on, let's get you home' Arizona's eyes shone with unshed tears as she looked at Callie,
'But I could have, I could have hurt you' Arizona looked down, tensed and started pulling away but Callie held strong, she wasn't going to let Arizona's insecurities win, not again. She held onto Arizona's forearms, willing her to look her in the eyes again.
'Hey, hey sweetheart, that doesn't matter, you didn't,' Arizona looked unconvinced, so Callie kept going, 'and starting right now we're gonna work on 'could have' ok, we're gonna make sure that this doesn't happen again'. Arizona brought her eyes back up to meet Callie's
'I love you' Callie smiled genuinely this time, pulling Arizona into a tight embrace,
'I love you too'