Love, Heiwa

"Exceptional as always," Fugaku says, appeased, the weary lines on his face fainting but she couldn't quite tell if his words meant something to her or not. He was hard to come by and even harder to please, but if meant losing her otouto, then she'd rather have nothing at all. "Even exceeding your Anbu companions. But that's no surprise, is it?"

Her eyes drifted from those eyes, then for a moment she clenched her hands, dreading his next words.

"Because, after all, you are my child."

But there was a time when she wasn't--when she wasn't his child, when she was a disgrace when he first laid his eyes on her in her mother's arms.

A girl.

She was first his shame, to have a girl as a first born, then his disappointment. She was a weak child, gifted none of the traits of an Uchiha son, but she wanted his approval. She wanted to shamelessly wear the clan symbol behind her back and become her father's joy.

And yet he cannot even smile for her when she exceeded the perfect son.

"There is a new mission for you, Heiwa." Fugaku's eyes dropped on her, and she held that gaze unflinchingly. "If you successfully complete this mission, you will officially become the Anbu Captain under the command of the Fourth Hokage."

Yet again she nodded his way distracted. Fugaku probably didn't notice it, or he chose to ignore it, because he didn't do anything nor did he say anything on the lack of response he got from her.

For so long, she had worked her way to become her father's daughter only to realize that when you hold too much power beyond your control, too much knowledge beyond your own comprehension, people would grapple their way to use you.

And she began to question her love then, the love she had for her family, when she knew she could easily betray them for the Fourth Hokage's orders.

.

As she slid the shoji door close, the moon was already starting to show itself and the sun was beginning to depart. Shadows littered the corners of the corridor, yet even then she couldn't have missed his presence that she couldn't help but smile.

The tension in her shoulders because of Fugaku's presence had already lifted away with just having him close by.

"Come out, Itachi," she said softly. "I know you're there."

Instead of answering her, he hid more in the shadows, hoping that at least he could have fooled her into thinking that it was only her imagination. To his dismay, Heiwa approached the shadows. He had to shut his eyes, convinced that if he did so, he'd vanish somehow.

"Itachi, you should wear something warmer," she mumbled as he felt her warm hand caress the side of his cheek. "You're cold."

He finally gave up in hiding and he looked up at her gentle eyes. He had noticed that there had never been a time she was not nice to him, and that it was only to him. She was always cold, if not indifferent, with others.

Somehow he felt special for it.

Somehow he also felt guilty.

"Are you angry at me, Nee-san?" he asked her, dreading to hear her say yes even though he knew she could never get mad at him for anything.

There was an unsure look in her eyes before she sighed with a sad smile and then she patted him on the head, a gesture so warm he wanted more. But he refrained himself.

"No, Itachi. No," she answered him softly. "How could I ever be to my otouto?"

From the open side of the corridor, the orange glow of the sky illuminated a piece of the hall and reflected to their way. Yet even with such a particular color of happiness, her otouto had a look of sadness and neglect over his face.

"He... He has always talked about you, Nee-san."

His words surprised her and the way he looked back at her now with a face of sorrow, she couldn't help but feel sad.

He had never mentioned it before although it happened all the time, and hearing him say it now pained her when she had to force herself to smile.

She sat by him on the perched side of corridor and looked over the sky. It was almost nice to have him beside her watch such a beautiful scene, if it weren't for the tension. "Am I... Am I unpleasant to you?"

She could feel the way he flinched at her question as he continued to stand there at her side, and although she knew he never meant it that way, she also knew he was contemplating whether if she truly was. But the longer he contemplated, the longer she was convinced he did, in fact, saw her as... unpleasant.

"That's not so bad," she mumbled, ignoring the throb in her chest and forcing a smile as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes. "Shinobi... usually live as hated people, because they are said to be a problem, Itachi."

His gaze snapped at her as he looked worriedly. "Such... Such a way..."

He couldn't find the words to continue with, but an expression of regret was enough of an answer.

He should have never mentioned such a thing. He should be thanking his Nee-san for always being there for him, when their mother couldn't--most especially when it came to Fugaku. And yet he, towards his beloved sister... he just...

"Well, to be a top notch is really something to think about, to have strength you have to become isolated and arrogant--although at first you only sought out what you've dreamed for." She finally looked at him with a gentle smile, and the way he saw how she covered up the pain in her eyes clawed at him like a wild animal.

He felt awful.

It was the first time he have ever seen her slip.

"You see, we are unique siblings, otouto. We've always been. But in order to overcome your barriers, you and I have to continue living together, even if it means hating each other," she whispered, a lingering tone of despair in her voice. But she was too good--too good in pretending that he hardly even noticed it at all. "That is what being an elder sibling means."

Itachi had never seen her show any sign of weaknesses before. She was always the independent one, the one everybody relied on, the genius and the prodigy, the one with high hopes for, and even their mother had always relied on Heiwa even though she was a child herself.

Yet even though he never saw it before now, he knew, somehow, somewhere in that mature and indifferent demeanor, somewhere deep in that wall of a daughter so perfect, she was struggling just as much as he was. And yet he didn't even do anything about it. He watched her. He didn't say a word.

How could he have been so selfish when he was not the only one who was suffering?

"That's why, as an older sibling, when Mother gives birth to our kyoudai, protect our baby sibling," Heiwa told him with the same look she would always give him, a look of warmth and care and love, "no matter what happens and no matter what situation you are in. Because that's what older siblings are for, Itachi. What we are for."

And he could only stare at her, wordlessly. She was always so kind, and he was the insensitive little brother.

Later that night, she tucked him in bed like she always did, sang that same lullaby she hummed him to sleep, not ever mentioning any of what he'd said to her earlier. She continued to be the mature person she was.

She continued to be the loving big sister.

"I'm sorry, Nee-san, for what I said," Itachi whispered just before she pulled away.

"Shhh," she hushed him softly, kissing his forehead, wiping the tear he couldn't hold back from the corner of his left eye. "Go to sleep, Otouto."

He stared at her in the darkness, his small fingers gripping onto the soft bed sheet she'd pulled over him to keep him warmer for the night. "I love you, Nee-san."

He watched as a smile softly come to her lips just before she finally gave one last kiss on his forehead. Her hand was so warm against his that it was almost doubtful that it was all real.

That his Nee-san was real.

"As I love you, Itachi," she whispered in the darkness. "As I love you."