4-Award

He'd always been jealous of his older brother, even after Frasier had moved thousands of miles away to Boston and had a practice of his own. Niles had his own practice as well in Seattle (a better one if he dared say so), and yet jealously besieged him. It was wrong, he knew that and he knew full well that his mom, his dad and Maris would be livid if he were to confide in them and tell them how he was feeling. He knew what his parents would say "Why can't you just be happy for your brother for God's sake?" He'd heard it all before and it was, essentially true.

But he couldn't help how he felt.

His brother was married (albeit to a frosty, no… icy woman, who apparently had something resembling a heart that only Frasier himself could see) and had a son. A son! Niles would have given anything to become a father, anything at all. But Maris flatly refused.

"What would we do with kids?" She would always ask in that voice that told him that the question was completely ludicrous.

And his reply was always the same. "Love them, nurture them, play with them, and raise them to be sophisticated, loving and successful adults like us."

But, as always, his words fell on deaf ears and Maris, as always, would turn on her heels and retreat to her room, living him alone in the living room of their huge mansion. He should have been proud (overly-proud) of the life that he'd settled into.

He was very well-off, thanks to his successful practice that earned him lots of money, and Maris. She was, by all accounts (especially her retirement account… the one that she started "just because", for she never intended to actually work for the money to put in the account. And then there were the accounts that were simply overflowing with money that he had no idea had gotten there, nor did he question it. He wouldn't dare), extremely rich.

And aside from all of that, he had a very successful practice, one that garnered him several new patients each month in addition to the ones who had been coming to him for guidance for years; he was well respected within the community and the city of Seattle. But most prestigious of all, he and Maris lived in a monstrous mansion complete with servants and staff that would have made even the most wealthy Seattle millionaires (and there were plenty, including the infamous Bill Gates) green with envy.

But still he loved his brother and they talked on the phone weekly, most often from the privacy of Niles office. It was much easier to call Frasier at his office in Boston despite the three-hour time difference than to call him when Niles knew he'd be home. Because, more often than not, Lilith was there too. Although Niles loved his young nephew more than anything, he was willing to go longer between phone calls with Freddie if it meant not dealing with Lilith. And when he expressed guilt about this to his father, he was met not with resistance but with complete understanding.

"I don't blame you at all, Son." Martin Crane would say. To which his wife, Hester, would always chide him.

"Marty, don't say things like that! Lilith may not be the kindest person in the world, but the least you boys can do is show respect. She is Frasier's wife after all and the mother of my grandchild!"

"But Mom, Lilith laughed during our wedding vows!" Niles said. "She laughed, Mom! It was a beautiful, heartfelt moment that was ruined forever! I'll never get that moment back, ever."

His father chuckled. "Yeah, that was a hell of a wedding, if I do say so myself."

"Marty…"

He looked at his wife. "What? It was!"

"Fine, Dad… It was a nice wedding wasn't it? And Maris looked so beautiful in her white dress." Niles mused, his heart beating rapidly as he remembered the blissful moment.

But not surprisingly his father laughed. "Yeah, her dress blended in with her skin and you could barely see her!"

"Marty, stop that!" Hester said, smacking Martin playfully on the back with the newspaper that she'd grabbed out of his hand. "It was a beautiful wedding and I was very proud of Niles. I am proud of him, and I always will be."

Overcome with love, Niles went to his mother and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. "Thank you Mom. I love you too."

"All right now, Marty, apologize." Hester ordered.

"Fine." Martin grumbled. "Niles, I-."

The phone rang and Martin paused, letting it ring repeatedly.

"Well, aren't you going to get that?"

"What? Oh yeah…"

Martin picked up the phone. "Hello? Hey Fras, what's going on? Really? That's great! Congratulations! I'm proud of you son, even if you don't win this thing!"

Hester smiled and put down her dishtowel. "Win what? What? What is it, Marty?"

"Here, Fras… Your mother wants to talk to you."

Hester eagerly took the phone from Martin's hand and pressed the receiver to her ear.

"Hello son. How are you? What this I hear about winning something?"

Niles eyed his mother carefully, trying to appear interested as well. He could only imagine what Frasier was telling her. He'd been nominated or an award of sorts. It was par for the course. Frasier always seemed to have something to brag about whereas Niles did not; unless it involved Maris of course. He loved his wife deeply and so he tried not to let it bother him.

But it did. As always, it bothered him a lot.

In his bedroom housed in the monstrous mansion he was so deep in thought that he barely heard the phone ring. And when it stopped momentarily and then rang again, he quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Niles, how are you?"

Alarmed, he sat up at once. "Fine, Frasier. This isn't our usual time to talk. Is something wrong?"

"No, actually I have some news."

"Really? What is it? A new wine that I must scour the streets of Seattle to find? Or are you going to mail it to me out of the kindness of your heart?"

Frasier chuckled, which was never a good sign. "Neither of the above I'm afraid. I've won an award for Psychiatrist of the Year! Isn't that incredible?"

Niles froze, unable to believe what he was hearing. Never in his life had he been nominated for something so prestigious. And now he was almost physically sick with jealousy. Once his father and mother heard about this, it's all they would talk about. And Niles would end up feeling even more depressed.

"Niles? Niles? Niles, are you there? NILES!" Frasier shouted into the phone.

"What? Oh… yes, I'm here."

"Well… what do you think of my news?"

"Well… I…."

"You're not happy about this, are you?"

"What? Of course I am! What makes you think-."

"Because I can almost hear the blood making its way out of your nose!"

Instantly Niles' reached for his handkerchief and shoved it under his nose. "Okay Frasier you win, as usual. I'm not happy about this, all right?"

"Well, I'm... hurt, to be honest Niles. I thought you'd be impressed."

Niles couldn't bring himself to speak.

"Niles, are you there?"

But still he couldn't utter a word.

"Niles? NILES!"

"What?"

"What in the hell is wrong with you? If it were you who was nominated, I'd be ecstatic!"

"But it's you Frasier! It's always been you and it will always be you! Don't you get it?"

"No, actually I don't."

Niles sighed deeply, trying desperately to keep his tears at bay. It was wrong to cry about something so stupid. And if Maris or Marta or one of the other staff were to walk into his office and find him crying, word would get back to Maris in a heartbeat and there would be no end to the ridicule he'd face.

"Look, I may have a mansion, a beautiful wife, servants and a successful practice, but you… you have your friends at that…horrid place…"

"It's a bar called 'Cheers', Niles! I've told you that a hundred times! In fact, you've been there before! Twice!"

"Right..." Niles said shuddering at the memory. "But if you want to know the truth, I'm jealous, all right? There I said it! I'm jealous of what you have!"

"Niles-."

"Lilith may be a little…"

"Niles, I don't have time for this."

"All right, fine! But you have your friends, your wife and your son and… sometimes…"

He heard Frasier sigh, a sign that he didn't need to go any further, for Frasier understood.

"I know that you and Maris have had your ups and downs, and as far as having children-."

He was crying openly now, not even caring if anyone were to walk in and find him sobbing. "It will never happen, Frasier! Never! She doesn't want them! She said-"

"I can only imagine what she said, Niles. And I'm sorry. I really am. I know how much it must hurt. But I love you and Maris loves you too. Just remember that. It will happen one day, I promise."

He sniffled. "You really think so?"

"I do."

Finally Niles smiled. "Thanks Frasier. And good luck with the award. I hope you win."

"Thank you, Niles. And when you're nominated, I'll wish the same for you."

Niles had never been more touched. "Thank you, Frasier. For everything."

To which Frasier chuckled. "Thank you too, Niles."

~TBC~