A/N: We've finally reached the end of this holiday fluff piece. It's been fun to write.

Thanks so much for all your comments and encouragement. I really do appreciate them!

Disclaimer: I don't own Haven, its characters, etc.

Part Four

Audrey was hand-sweating, heart-pounding, butterflies-in-stomach nervous.

Weird.

She could rush head long into danger, but the thought of walking into the hospital commons room full of children scared the crap out of her.

Don't let me screw this up.

The room was decorated with lights, a large, artificial Christmas tree, ribbons, and bows, giving the otherwise institutional looking place more of a homey feel. A table of healthy, hospital approved holiday treats was situated in one corner of the room, and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" could be heard playing in the background amidst chatter and laughter. They were making the best of it. Still, she couldn't help but be affected by the fact that these children were spending their Christmas in a hospital, when they should have been at home trying to find their Christmas presents and eating too many sweets.

Before she had even neared the commons room, Laverne had pulled her aside and told her what to expect. Some of the children were cancer patients, others had failing organs, others had less severe disorders or simply were recovering from accidents. Some would be home next Christmas. Some would be gone.

"Audrey, I'm telling you this 'cause I know you can take it."

Audrey met the older woman's eyes. "You mean because I'm not warm and fuzzy."

"Just 'cause you aren't warm and fuzzy doesn't mean you don't feel things deeply. Some of what you see is going to make you sad, but you can't let them see that. Santa can deliver presents, but you can deliver them hope."

Translation: Don't screw this up.

Audrey nodded, clutching the worn-leather Bible she'd received from the sisters upon her confirmation. When she was younger, she would pour over the pages. It had been ages since she had even opened the thin paper pages, but she remembered the story of the birth of Christ, the real Christmas story, nearly word for word.

"And Audrey," Laverne continued, looking at her with empathy for she seemed to detect Audrey's nervousness. "You look really pretty tonight."

Audrey looked down at the red wrap dress she wore. "Festive," was the pronouncement the Teague brothers gave her when she implored them to assist her and they'd recommended this dress. But it was a bit of a departure for her, enough to make her feel self-conscious as though she was wearing a costume, just like Nathan, only her costume didn't disguise her at all.

"Thank you," Audrey replied despite her own misgivings.

Audrey rubbed her sweaty palms on her dress, then frowned because that definitely wasn't the ladylike thing to do, and she wanted to do this right.

Nathan wouldn't be there until later, making his grand entrance as Santa Claus. Audrey still hadn't seen him in full Santa regalia, so she was eager to see the transformation. For that matter, she was just eager to see him. They'd only seem glimpses of each other that day, a rarity for them, and while she wouldn't go so far as to say she had separation anxiety from him because in her estimation that would have been totally lame, she had definitely become accustomed to working with him and bouncing ideas off him. Oh, and checking out his cute tush.

Opening the glass paned door and entering the room, she saw that one of the orderlies had set up an area with a larger chair for her and smaller chairs for the children.

"You must be Audrey," a plump woman with short blond hair and dressed in scrubs said as she approached Audrey.

"Guilty as charged."

"I'm Sarah Mason. Thank you for coming here tonight. It means so much that you'd sacrifice your time with your family."

"It's no sacrifice," Audrey assured her, though she didn't go on to explain that she didn't really have a family. "So just tell me what I can do to help get things ready."

"There's not really anything to do right now. We're going to let the kids and their parents mingle for a few more minutes. Santa is supposed to be here at 7:15 to deliver presents, so we thought we'd get the kids rounded up in time for the Christmas story at 7:00."

"Sounds like a plan," Audrey replied. Her eyes traveled around the room really studying the children for the first time. They were cute, but she admittedly wasn't really a kid person. It wasn't a matter of disliking children; it stemmed more from having not really been around them. Even when she was a kid herself, she'd always felt awkward at school, never really belonging anywhere.

Then there was Nathan who could talk to them so easily and always seemed to know the right thing to say. Maybe if they had children of their own one day, he would teach her a thing or two and help her not to be an epic failure.

Whoa. Where had that thought come from? It was a little soon in their relationship for her to start imagining a family with Nathan. What quicker way to scare a guy off than to start planning things like marriage and babies? Besides, Audrey had never really considered herself marriage material. But she had to admit that the notion of someday marrying Nathan definitely didn't suck.

Audrey exchanged a few pleasantries with some of the parents there who seemed to cluster together. Many of the younger children played together, while the older ones were talking, but there was one child, a pallid girl of seven or eight wearing a scarf on her head, who sat in the corner of the room away from the others. The girl watched the festivities with what, at first glance, looked like a vacant expression. But Audrey caught the quiver of her the little girl's chin and knew something was wrong.

Audrey glanced around the room hoping that a nurse or orderly would take notice of the girl, but everyone seemed intent in his or her own conversations or activities.

Don't let me screw this up.

Taking a deep breath, Audrey walked toward the child. "Mind if I sit over here with you?"

The little girl shrugged.

Audrey slid onto a metal chair next to the girl. "My name's Audrey. What's yours?"

"Reagan."

"Nice to meet you, Reagan. So what has you over here in the corner rather than out there playing games?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Maybe not, but I might. Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

The little girl hesitated but with slumped shoulders finally said, "I miss my momma."

Audrey swallowed hard. What could she say to that? How many times on Christmas had she felt the same way? She didn't have a solution back then, and she didn't have a solution for Reagan now. "She has to work more 'cause I got sick."

"So she's working tonight?"

The little girl nodded. "She promised she'd be here, but she called this afternoon and told me she had to waitress."

"I'm sorry. That really su—," Audrey caught herself, "stinks. I'm sure she'd much rather be here with you."

"I know, but everyone else's mom's here."

"Well, maybe you and I can team up for tonight. I don't know anyone here except you, and I could use someone to show me the ropes, like how to play the games and which foods taste the best."

Reagan seemed to consider Audrey's suggestion. "But who's gonna leave cookies for Santa? And how's he going to find me if my mom isn't here to leave cookies for him?"

"Can you keep a big secret?" Audrey asked, her voice lowering.

Reagan nodded.

"Are you absolutely positive? Because this is a big one."

"I'm sure."

"Santa is coming for a visit here tonight," Audrey whispered. "Before he makes all his other deliveries."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh. Santa and I—we're like this." Audrey held up her hand crossing her middle finger over her forefinger. "Big buds. He promised me he'd be here tonight with presents."

Reagan's face lit up. "That's awesome! So I guess you've known Santa for a really long time since you're so old."

Audrey laughed. From the mouth of babes. "Not that long. So what are you hoping Santa will bring you this year?"

"I'm gonna ask him to bring my mom here."

Crap. How was Nathan going to pull that one off?

"Anything else?" Audrey asked expectantly. Surely this little girl wanted something else. Didn't every kid have a list a mile long?

"Nope, that's all."

"What about you?" Reagan asked.

"I don't think Santa is bringing me anything this year," Audrey replied with a smile. "I'm too old."

Reagan looked at her with horror. "I don't want to grow up. Ever."

"It's not so bad."

"What was your favorite thing Santa brought you when you were little?"

"Well," Audrey paused. How could she explain that from an early age, the nuns were honest about Santa Claus being a fictitious character and that children's parents were the ones who perpetuated the fantasy? Of course, with her not having any parents, there never was a gift from Santa. And how she had wanted gifts from Santa! Even something small like that Hello Kitty stationery set and bag would have made her ten-year-old life complete back in the day. "There were so many things, I can't name just one."

"You must've been really good."

"Audrey?"

Audrey and Reagan looked up at Sarah Mason.

"It's time for the story."

"Right," Audrey responded, suddenly feeling her nervousness return. She turned back to Reagan. "I'm supposed to read the Christmas story to the group. Think you might want to help me?"

Laverne and Nathan stood in the hallway outside the commons room of the hospital, and Nathan peered through the tall, narrow window of the wood door. From his vantage point, he could see Audrey sitting in a chair with a little girl on her lap, surrounded by children.

She looked stunning. The contrast of the red of her dress against her creamy complexion and blond hair had him wowed. But it was seeing her interact with kids that had his mouth going dry. He was actually looking forward to playing Santa for the kids. He knew Audrey, on the other hand, had been scared to death, though she'd tried to play cool. Seeing her now, so at ease, so animated, made him wonder if some day…

Laverne pulled him back, the momentary sense of near-vertigo kicking in. He couldn't feel Laverne's touch but recognized the motion. "Careful, Santa, hon. We don't want the kids to see you just yet."

"Their backs are to the door," Nathan protested mildly, but what it amounted to is that he wanted to watch Audrey.

"She's doing good," Laverne assured him, giving him a knowing look. "She might've been nervous at first, but I'd say she's a natural, even if she doesn't know it. That little girl in her lap, Reagan, has been sulking all day. Audrey's got her smiling again."

A smile quirked under the fake white beard Nathan wore. "Not doing a very good job of hiding it, am I?"

"You can't hide love. It has a way of shining." Laverne crossed her arms and chuckled. "When you've got what the two of you have, you shouldn't keep it hidden."

"It's early still. We haven't even mentioned love to each other."

"But you know, don't you? Just like she knows."

Nathan closed his eyes. He did know.

The last few days had been a whirlwind, a whirlwind of sensation, touches, laughter, and churning emotions built on a solid foundation of trust and friendship. Everything was more vivid when he was with Audrey; he felt more alive, finally connected to someone, no longer adrift. Touching her, being touched by her— there was the tangible pleasure, and then there was the intangible. The warmth he felt, not from her body pressed against his, but from the words she whispered in his ear that made him hope, that made him believe what was happening between them was only the beginning.

Yep, he definitely knew.

"She's…special," Nathan uttered, his words coming out with a hint of breathlessness.

"Just be sure you tell her that." Laverne pointed at him. "And there's nothing wrong with the L word."

"Right."

Laverne looked through the window. "All right. It's almost time to go in. Before you do, look out for little hands tugging on your beard. Garland used to have that problem. Had to come up with an elaborate story one time about his elf shaving his beard as a practical joke. Make sure your hat's straight. And for God's sake, don't forget to be jolly."

"I can be jolly."

But the nonchalance in Nathan's voice left Laverne unconvinced, and the look she shot him made that perfectly clear. "This'll be good."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Nathan's hearty tone as he entered the commons room carrying a red sack of presents had the children of the room squealing with delight.

"Santa's here!"

"No way!"

"Awesome!"

Audrey laughed, partly from the excitement she was seeing in the kids, and partly from the fun of seeing the transformation Nathan had undergone. How he'd managed to go from a rocking hard body to looking like he had a bowl full of jelly around his mid-section had Audrey thinking a pillow. She looked forward to testing her hypothesis later. The white trimmed red hat and suit he wore, along with a long white beard and glasses definitely made him believable. But when their eyes met briefly, Audrey could see her Nathan looking back at her.

"Merry Christmas, boys and girls!"

Sitting back in her chair, watching the flurry of activity unfold, Audrey couldn't keep the smile off her face as the children gathered around Nathan, one little boy actually clinging to Nathan's leg.

"Where are your reindeer?" one little boy asked.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! I left them parked on the roof. With the sleigh, they couldn't fit through the door, but I did bring some presents with me."

"Presents!"

Audrey felt Reagan link her small arm around Audrey's and lean against her shoulder. "My momma doesn't fit in Santa's bag," she stated matter-of-factly.

With her free arm, Audrey reached around and rubbed Reagan's shoulder. Poor little thing. Her sadness was such a contrast to the joy around them as the other children tore into their presents. Repeatedly, Audrey heard youngsters exclaim that the present Santa brought was just what they wanted.

"I know your mom would be here if she could. She's a lucky mom to have such a sweet daughter."

"Reagan."

Audrey and Reagan looked up. 'Santa' stood before them.

"Yes, Santa?" Reagan asked, her voice tiny.

"I've got a present for you, too."

"Santa," the little girl began, "if I promise to be really good and leave you some extra cookies, can I make a trade?"

Nathan laughed heartily. "Ho! Ho! Don't you want to see what your present is first? I picked it out especially for you."

Audrey nodded at Reagan, trying to encourage the little girl. "Okay."

Nathan reached out and took Reagan's hand, leading her toward the door leading out to the hallway. Audrey followed. The three went out into the empty hallway, and Audrey was confused, as was Reagan.

"But where's…?" Reagan asked. However, she was unable to finish her thought, for at that moment, a woman in her early thirties rounded the corner carrying a bag. "Momma!"

The woman rushed toward the little girl, picking her up and holding her closely. "Hi, baby! Merry Christmas!"

Audrey looked at the mother/daughter duo and back at Nathan before looking away entirely. Her eyes were stinging with tears. Yep, it was official. Somewhere along the way, she had turned into a sap.

"I didn't think you could come!" Reagan's voice pitched upward.

"I didn't either, but I had a little help." The woman looked at Nathan. "Thank you, Santa."

"You're welcome," 'Santa' replied, sounding perfectly jolly.

"Baby, let's go to the party." With that, the mother/daughter duo went back into the commons room leaving Audrey and Nathan alone.

Audrey wiped at her tears, though she tried to be nonchalant about the whole matter.

"Are you crying, Parker?" Nathan asked.

"Please. I've got something in my eye."

"Okay. But for the record, if you ever needed to cry, you wouldn't have to hide it from me."

"I guess I wouldn't, would I?" Audrey conceded. She peered through the window of the door and watched as Reagan and her mom filled a plate of goodies. "You know, what you did for that little girl was amazing. She'll always remember Santa bringing her mom to her."

"I can't take the credit. I had a little help along the way."

"You're being cryptic. More so than usual."

Nathan looked at her intently. "Do you believe in Santa Claus, Audrey?"

"Well," Audrey replied as she reached out to take Nathan's hand, "I believe in you."

"I have something for you." Reluctantly pulling away from her grasp, Nathan reached for his cloth bag and pulled out one last present.

"I thought you'd given them all out," Audrey faltered. She read the label. "To Audrey, from Santa."

"You were on Santa's nice list this year," Nathan said with a wink.

Audrey hesitantly ran her fingers over the colorful package, her teeth grazing her bottom lip.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Nathan prodded.

"Yeah. I just—I've never gotten a present from Santa before." Audrey finally began to rip into the paper. When she finally saw what it was, her mouth formed a perfect O. "Oh my—how did you know? This is—this is perfect." Without another word, she pushed Nathan against the wall, tugged gently at his beard until she had pulled it down and had unhindered access to his lips. She traced his lips with the pad of her thumb before standing on her tip-toes and taking possession of his mouth.

Her kiss wasn't soft and chaste, nor was it ravenous. It was imploring. Nathan could feel, not just her warmth and moisture, but her emotions coming off of her in waves. Tears spilled down her cheeks, making him pull her to him all the more tightly.

And suddenly she giggled against his mouth. "Definitely a pillow," she commented as she rested her hands along his waist.

Nathan leaned his forehead against hers. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"I'm perfect. This sounds silly, I know, but when I was a little girl, I wanted a Hello Kitty bag and stationery more than anything in the world. And somehow you knew."

"I had a little help."

"But how?"

"Remember Mr. Nicholson?" Nathan asked as he wiped away her tears.

"Tough to forget him."

"You asked me what he said when you were at Mrs. Nelson's."

"And you wouldn't tell me," Audrey remarked with a hint of exasperation.

"He told me that I needed to let down my guard, to take the chance when it presented itself. He said that we needed each other."

"Let me guess. And you asked him if he'd been drinking."

"Damn, you know me so well."

"Shhhh. No cursing from Santa," Audrey chastised with a small smile.

"Technically, Santa shouldn't be making out in the hallway, either."

Audrey stepped back and looked into the commons room. "The kids are having such a good time, I don't think they even noticed that we're gone. So Mr. Nicholson predicted us then?"

"Yep. And told me I should get you a Hello Kitty bag and paper."

"This is weird. Nice weird, but weird. When I was a kid, I remember this one Christmas when I would have given my left arm to have Hello Kitty stuff. The sisters wouldn't hear of it. It wasn't practical."

"It's still not," Nathan replied with a smile. "Thought Nicholson was senile until later at the B&B. Then I figured he was onto something. When you asked me to stay with you, I—" he exhaled loudly. "I never dreamed I could be happy like that, like I've been since then."

"I've been really happy, too, Nathan."

"I'm supposed to be cursed, right? That's what everyone says anyway, but you never make me feel like I am less of a man because I'm different. You make me feel alive. Audrey, I lov—"

But Audrey was back in his arms, her mouth against his. Had she been sleepwalking through life until she met Nathan Wuornos? Never letting herself feel or grow attached? Nathan might have said she made him feel alive, but Audrey was near convinced that she wouldn't be able to breathe unless she touched him, kissed him. Nathan was her family. Nathan was her home.

"Santa! Audrey!" Laverne hissed. Unbeknownst to Nathan and Audrey, she had opened the door and stuck her head through it. "No more kissing out here. We're going to sing carols, and Santa has to lead them."

"We'll be right there," Nathan called back, the disappointment in his voice sounding decidedly unSanta-like. Their eyes met, their gaze lingering, longing.

"Duty calls." Audrey replied wistfully as she adjusted his Santa beard. She stepped back and looked at him, then fluffed the pillow in his midsection. "There. Good as new. So how's your singing voice?"

"Laverne never mentioned anything about singing."

Audrey had to force herself not to laugh at Nathan's discomfort. "I'm telling you. She's dangerous. And to top it off, she has rotten timing."

Nathan nodded. "We'll finish this conversation later, I guess…"

Audrey smiled, "I guess so. And not just the conversation." Opening the door, she looked over her shoulder at Nathan. "For the record, I love you, too."

The End