"Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity" - Hippocrates
As I drove down the long and twisty road to the Cullen's new home, I felt nervous. I feared Carlisle's reaction the most, as it was him who would decide my next steps. I wondered what the others would say, and I wondered what they would think in private. The large trees covered the road and formed a tunnel. The sun was lost and it was now dark inside the car. I glanced to the mirror again, a tiny part of me hoping my eyes had changed back already. They glowed, as red as they had been the first time I looked at them.
By then, I had reached the end of the driveway. The house stood before me, magnificent, even against its pretty woodland surroundings. It was made up of light panelled wood, two stories up, with a high roof. The windows were framed in a darker wood, which contrasted beautifully. A path of stone surrounded by small bushes and flowers led up to an impressive front door. It was a double set, with dark golden handles curving ornately into a leaf design. The wood, dark and matching the frames of the windows, had been carved with patterns of flowers and trees swirling up the sides. A stained glass window was in place at the top of each door, the greens and yellows glowing in the weak sunlight that shot through the trees.
I parked as far away from the house as I could get and switched off my engine. I sat there for a while, thinking about what I could say or do to make my actions seem more reasonable. I came up with nothing. With a deep sigh, I opened the car door and stepped outside. The sunlight danced off my pale skin as I walked cautiously towards the house. I could hear movement from inside, and also from around the back.
"Who are you?", a voice from behind me asked. I turned quickly. A tall boy, with short black hair and deep red brown skin was stood there. His muscles were tensed, as if he were readying himself for a fight. His dark brown eyes swept over me, finally ending in a glare as they locked onto mine. I realised he though of me as a threat.
"I am Tanya, of the Denali's. I have come to speak with Carlisle. Is he here?" I explained.
The doors I now had my back to clicked open gently. I turned, seeing it was Carlisle. He stepped outside, closing the door behind him.
"She is no threat to us Embry. Go back and join Jacob, for I am guessing she wishes to speak privately with me" Carlisle requested, his soft voice washing calm through me. The boy Embry nodded, and sprinted into the trees. I heard a slight pause, and then quick and heavy footfalls racing through the forest.
"Will you come to my study Tanya? Or would you prefer to speak here?" Carlisle enquired.
"Your study" I answered. He nodded, his perfect face breaking into a small smile. He turned and opened the door, holding it so I could walk in ahead of him. I stepped into the house and heard the door close behind me. Gentle hands rested on my shoulders as I was led to a door at the end of the hallway. I opened it and went inside, Carlisle following all the way. He shut it behind me and walked around the desk, finally taking a seat in the large chair.
"So", he began, "Tell me what happened". I took in a breath before spilling every second of what had happened and why I had come here. He sat as still as a statue whilst I spoke, genuine interest and concern etched onto his face.
When I was finished, we sat in silence for a moment. Then he spoke.
"I'm not angry with you, Tanya. I'm sad. Sad for the poor man who lost his life. Sad for you, still in so much pain even after all this time, and most of all I'm sad that this was what it took to get you to wake up"
As he finished, I hung my head. My actions were shameful.
"Why did you not seek guidance or help from Eleazar or Carmen?" Carlisle questioned gently. I looked up, furrowing my eyebrows.
"You should have seen their faces, Carlisle, after they had realised what happened" I answered softly. He nodded and sighed.
"I guess not everyone can forgive as easily as I seem to be able to"
He seemed to lapse into deep thought then, a small and perfect crease forming in his forehead. I sat back in my chair and waited. Each blink felt like a hundred years passing, even though I could hear the clock ticking from its place on the white wall.
Finally he moved. He leant forward and puts his hands on his desk.
"I am willing to forgive you Tanya", he said quietly, "But you must obey my rules here if you are to stay. Animal blood only. And I want you to do something constructive with your time, instead of moping about the place"
"I accept!" I answered hurriedly. He smiled, wide and brilliantly.
"Okay then", he said, "Welcome to the Cullen family"
A few hours later, I found myself in the smallest of the bedrooms in Carlisle and Esme's house. The small room was, in fact, quite large. I had my own private bathroom which was beautifully tiled in pale greens and blues. The bedroom was magnificent. The walls were a pale yellow colour, except for the one that was entirely glass. Soft thick carpet covered the floor, its creamy colour keeping the room light and open. A small chest of drawers stood in the corner, now holding all of my possessions. It was made of dark brown wood and had long silver handles stretched across the front of each drawer. On top sat an empty photo frame. The sides were an intricate weaving of silver swirls and small, glistening crystals. It stood alone, nothing else surrounding it. The light from the windows seemed to catch the frame more than any other object in the room. I looked away from it, its emptiness reminding me of my own. I crossed over to the bed, a luxurious king sized affair. The sheets and pillow cases were a light metallic colour and looked incredibly soft.
I crossed the room slowly, my breaths coming evenly. I stopped just before the bed, closed my eyes and allowed myself to think of her, one more time, before I locked her away in the back of my mind.
She stepped towards me, lifting her hand to my face and gently stroking my cheek. I fell forwards onto the bed, invisible tears springing from my ghoulish eyes. She was still there in my mind, a presence I could not ignore.
"I'm sorry" I said, in a low and broken tone. She shook her head, her beautiful hair swishing around her face. As soft as a feather, her voice swept over my ears.
"Its time Tanya. Let me go"
I nodded my head. I was lying on my side, my arms holding my own body. Holding myself together, before I let go. The whisper came again.
"I love you sister, now, let me go"
The scene vanished from my mind. The empty ache in my chest slowly and agonizingly stopped. I uncurled and lay flat on my back on the bed.
For the first time in six years, I was free of heart wrenching pain. It was a dull ache now, barely noticeable. I sat up quickly and shot over to the window. The moon had lit the room beautifully, casting everything into black and white. As I watched the stars my mind raced. I needed a plan, like Carlisle had said. I thought of all the things I had done in my long life, and the things I had enjoyed the most.
I had my plan. I knew what I wanted to do.