Ch 4 Hate Me
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be, and then she whispered "How can you do this to me?" Hate me today, ya hate me tomorrow.- Blue October
Briar
It's been a few weeks and it's finally almost Thanksgiving time! This means I'll be on a plane back to the Burgh next Tuesday night right after school! My mom and dad are staying home with Jared since he got some security job for the La Push tribal council. He can't leave and they don't want him to be alone on Thanksgiving so I'll be making the trip solo. It's kinda a bummer I won't be with my family but I'll be with Jula and her family. My Opa and Oma Spreckel usually go over there too. They are my mother's parents. Our families have been friends a long time. Our great grandfathers worked the steel mills together and the Spreckle's and Nowak's have been friends ever since. Many kids are coming back to La Push from college so the town, actually looks like people live here. Compared to the usual atmosphere where it looks like a ghost town. I'm getting all packed for my trip, even if I do still have nine days fifteen hours and fourteen minutes but hey who's counting? Make that thirteen. I definitely need to pack my Pens jersey since me and Jula have decided to brave the elements and wait in the student rush line outside of the new arena to watch a hockey game. I have decided nothing will break my excitement as I finish packing my bag. I will not let anything get to me this week. Not stupid Jacob Black and his cronies Embry and Quil. Since Jared's came back to school I've been having a hard time dealing with the gossip. Jared works with Sam Uley now, which everyone thinks is scum after what happened with the whole ditching Leah for her cousin thing. This is probably because half the boys at school want to nail her, so they hate him out of jealousy for already having her or due to the fact that he turned her into a bitter bitch so they will never get a shot. So it is me who gets the backlash of all the Cordero gossip. "Is your brother in a gang? Is he taking drugs now? I heard your brother is getting kicked out of school for steroid usage. Why's he hanging out with Sam Uley he's such a prick?" This is what I'm asked; I can only imagine all the shit that's getting spewed behind my back. Even the teachers are in on the gossip! I was walking out of the Fine Arts hall and heard grouchy old Mrs. Hartzel say to another teacher "That Jared Cordero, he used to be such a good kid. Now he's joined a gang with Sam Uley. Poor kid he's probably all mixed up in drugs, his poor parents." What make it even worse is these people are gossiping, but they aren't the ones bullying me about it. This is where the whole not letting Jake and his friends get to me. I'm at my locker changing books out from second to third period when speak of the devil, and I do mean devil, Jacob comes strolling up to me with Quil and Embry on each side. "So word on the street is your brother's a lost cause Cordero." Quil laughs and slams my locker shut; Embry hangs back and watches the scene unfold. I never really noticed before but it's mostly Quil and Jake that are douche bags to me, Embry just is one by association. "Ya? Word on the street is you and Ateara suck each other's dicks too, but hey can't believe everything ya hear can ya boys?" I spit with enough venom in my voice to kill an elephant smirking as they stand there in shock. With that I turn on my heal leaving them dumbfounded. I turn back to see how angry Jake and Quil's faces are, but I also notice Embry holding back a laugh. Embry's shy and I think he only goes along with those two pricks because they all have been best friends since preschool.
Paul
I feel like death. Briar was right I think I do have what Jared has. I skipped school today because it feels like I have a fever of 120 degrees. I thought your insides started to cook at like 105 so I'm kinda worried. My mom had called my dad's office and told the secretary to tell him to come home that it was an emergency, which is weird because why the hell would she do that? Ya I should probably be going to the hospital, but he doesn't really need to be there for that. He was never good with us kids when it came to things like illness or emotions. He showed his love for me and my older sister by changing our tires or building a shelf. Don't get me wrong I love my dad, but he was really strict growing up. No hugs, no I love you's, no touchy feely moments. Maybe that's why people think I'm a miserable dick, but I'm not deep down. I was just raised that men don't say that shit unless it's to their women or mothers, otherwise they'd get called gay. So instead of coming off as caring I come off as a prick, but whatever as long as Briar doesn't see me like then I don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks. When my dad comes back he is less than pleased. "This better be good Lenelle! I was right in the middle of a contractor's meeting with that new richy rich family up in Forks." He says to my mother. "This is it Ray, his fever is off the charts." This is it? Holy shit! Am I dying? Jared had the same thing and he didn't die. Damn it's always me! Bri's gunna be crushed. "Listen woman pull yourself together call that son-of-a-bitch Billy Black and that Uley brat." My mother runs off to the kitchen phone while my dad turns to me "Look kid, some shit is going to down. Its gunna hurt like a bitch and it's gunna change your life. It's gunna happen whether you like it or not, so you might as well man up and accept it. Got it?" "Yes sir" I reply as I stare at my bedroom wall. Whatever the hell is going on doesn't sound great. It's gunna change my life, but I like my life now. While we wait for Billy and Sam to get here I think back to Briar and I. I wish we could go back to that weekend alone and just stay there forever, because whatever's coming isn't good. I hear the bell ring. O great they're here I guess no more trip down memory lane. "Paul get your ass down here" my dad barks. "Ray he's a sick boy we'll just go up and see him" someone unknown says. I hear the footsteps and a knock on my already open bedroom door. "Hey man you're gunna. be cool in a few days" Jared says. Why is Jared here shouldn't he be at school? "I know what you're thinking Harry pulled me out for this special occasion." He motions to Harry Clearwater. Harry begins to speak "Usually Billy handles this type of thing but he's picking Rachael up at WSU today and couldn't make it. Things are happening in your body right now. A change is happening that no one can stop. You are familiar with the legends of our tribe, so you know of the story of the spirit wolves." "Ya" I reply "Well the legends are true. You carry the genes of Taha Aki in your veins. You are destined to be a great spirit warrior. Sam and Jared have acquired the gene as well. They have already completed the transformation. Within the next week you will experience great pain and fever. You will emerge a stronger man, but it is not until you shift beings that you will complete your journey." "Wait wait wait. A warrior? Who are the Quileute's even fighting? And what's this shift beings crap?" I question. "Yes you will become a warrior and protector of La Push. We only fight one people, and they are the same people you will be protecting the reservations from, if you even can call them people" Sam spits out like the words leave a bad taste in his mouth "We protect our people from vampires, I know it's another hard concept to grasp, but there are filthy bloodsucking leeches out there trying to cross the border line onto our land. More will be explained when you phase for the first time and get accepted into the Tribal Council. As for the last question, yes we have the capability to phase into giant spirit wolves just as our ancestors did in the legends" Sam says with a sigh as if explaining what's going to happen to me and how it's going to affect the rest of my life is boring him. What a prick. My fever's too high. I'm probably having a hallucination because the body heat has started to cook my brain. "It's true man and when you explode into a great big wolf we'll be with you to help you through dude." Jared says like this is a conversation normal everyday people have. You know what? I don't think it's me that's delusional anymore. I think they all blazed up before they come over here. They're stoned as hell. Those legends are a cool ways to keep little kids interested in their Quileute history, nothing more nothing less. There aren't big ass wolves roaming around. I would have seen them. "I know it's hard to believe, but we will be back for you in a week when the first stage is complete." Sam says. He's a dick. I definitely do not want to be stuck hanging around with him. I already want to beat his face in and this is the first time I've ever met the guy. "You can't say a word to anybody about this, especially Briar man. Nobody can know our secret" Jared says as he slaps my shoulder and turns to leave.
Briar
"Hey Bri, I was just over at Paul's house with Harry Clearwater. I don't want you freaking out, but Paul's sick with the same thing I had. Don't worry though he'll be fine in a week or so. Ok?" Jared said as he came into my room. I figured he was sick, since he missed school, but I didn't think it was as serious as what Jared had. "Are you sure he's gunna be ok? Did that prick Billy Black tell his mom not to go to the hospital too? Is he gunna hulk out like you did? Can I see him? Is it going to hurt him as much as it did when you were sick? Is this contagious?" I say all in one breath. "Jesus woman take a breath! You sound just like ma!" Jared said with a laugh. I give him my most intimidating glare but he just laughs some more. "He'll be fine, and it's better for him to stay at home than to go to the hospital. You can't see him for at least a week. It'll hurt but its Paul we're talking, about he'll be fine. I did not "hulk out" I just…. hit a growth spurt. Paul will as well. It is not contagious, you won't catch it." I let this all sink in. If I can't see him I'm at least going to get his homework for him and write him letters, and send him a basket full of stuff so he won't miss me. Then I realize how unfair is it that Jar gets to see him, but I can't? "Why did you get to see him but I can't?" I question. "Um he doesn't want you to see him all sickly." Jared says quickly, almost too quickly. Something weird is going on first with Jared now with Paul. While we're on the subject of weird things with Jared, he's been sneaking out of the house at night. He thought no one knew about it but I've caught him doing it for a few weeks now. Last night I finally waited up for him. Being the drama queen I am I decided I wanted something theatrical. When he crawled back into the living room window at 3:30 in the morning I was waiting in the pitch black on the sofa by the desk lamp. Once I heard him shut the window I turned on the lamp. He must have heard me fidgeting, because he wasn't surprised at all. "Hey, Briar. It's late. Shouldn't you be in bed" he asked like it was me that was doing something wrong. "Are you crazy Jared Cordero? Sneaking out in the middle of the night to do God knows what! Where have you been?" I hiss since both my parents are sleeping. "Um Sam called so I had to go into work to check something out. I got a new schedule I work during the days but I'm on call at night. You know kinda like a doctor?" Jared says as he nervously itches the back of his neck. I've seen this before. He's lying, this is his "tell". Whenever we were little and mom would ask "who ate that cookie" or "did you clean your room" and he would lie he would itch the back of his neck and not make eye contact with her. Why is there so much lying and so many secrets around here all of a sudden? I had reached my limit. I'm definitely ready to get out of this messed up town for a few days. Tuesday could not come quick enough. "If your gunna lie to me you might as well not even talk to me" I said and I made my way upstairs to my room for the night. So now that Jared's telling me all this is happening to Paul I can't help the sick feeling that he's gunna be pulling the same stunts. Working for that douche bag Sam, sneaking out at all hours, who knows what else. According to Jared there's apparently there's nothing I can do to stop any of this either. I'm just supposed to sit back and watch my boyfriend's life fall apart?
Paul
It's been a week and I'm ready to get out of this room. I don't know what kind of devil flu this was but it hurt like a bitch. It felt like my body was expanding, but there wasn't enough room in my skin. I'm finally going back to school today. The devil flu has made me a foot taller and super ripped, which I'm not complaining about. I don't think Bri will either. Bri! I finally get to see her today, we've talked everyday over the phone, through texts, we even Skype'd last night, but none of those compare to actually being able to hold her. I finish getting all the shit into my backpack, which normally would have been pretty heavy with all my books and work Jared brought me from school, but with my newfound guns it feels like nothings in there. My phone buzzes. I have a text from Sam. "Meet at Billy's at 4" "K" I send back. Well there goes my plan of spending the whole day with Briar before she leaves tomorrow for Thanksgiving break. I feel bad for Bri I know she gets a lot of shit from people at school about Jared going Sam's gang and now it looks like I have to join too. Not to mention my "hulking" out as she calls it. I make my way into school to find her anxiously waiting by my locker. She full out sprints towards me when she notices me walk in. She would have tackled me if I would have been the Paul from a week ago, but new stronger Paul stands firm holding my girl in a big bear hug. "The hulk look works for you baby", she says suggestively with a wink. "I missed you so much baby. You have no idea. I was going crazy being locked in that room" I say as I just hold her some more. I quickly kiss her as I drop her off at her first class. The class passes quickly and soon enough I'm making my way looking for Briar. I find her and Jacob Black talking at her locker. I'll admit at first I was a little jealous then I heard what they were saying to each other. "This is just fucking great! Of course I get stuck with you Cordero, I have the worst luck" Black mutters to Bri. "I'm not exactly happy with it either. You think I want to have a stupid dick like you for a partner?" Bri shoots back. "You better check yourself before you wreck yourself Cordero. Meet at my house today at 4 so we can get this project over with so I can drop your ass after today" Jacob says. I'm gunna crack his skull for talking to my girl like that. All I see is red, wow why am I shaking? "Paul. Hey Paul? Paul man we gotta get you outside to calm down!" someone says, but I can't even register who it is all I want to do is bust Jacob Black into a pulp. I'm being pushed outside into the woods. Ya this is good. Bring Jake out here where there's no witnesses! Then all off a sudden I'm shaking so badly my vision gets blurry. I hear a ripping and my skin starts to feel like it's getting set on fire. I look down at my feet and instead of my Nike's there are big gray paws. Wow what the fuck is this shit? I think You've completed the final part of your transformation into a spirit wolf. Wow who said that, it was in my head but it was Jared's voice? Ya, it's me when we're in wolf mode we can hear each other's thoughts. Pretty cool yeah? Um ya kinda expect for the fact I just exploded into a big ass wolf! You'll get used to it. It's good you changed on your own Sam said if you didn't soon we were gunna have to piss you off on purpose to get you to make the change. So what is Sam like the boss? Ya he's the Alpha of our now three man wolf pack. What he says goes. When he gives an order it gets obeyed, whether we want it to or not. The Alpha command. So what we have no free will? No we do. Sam's real cool about it only using it when it's absolutely necessary. But you'll learn more tonight at the council meeting at Billy's. When you've calmed down enough you'll be able to change back. Stay hear Imma run home and grab you some clothes since you shredded yours. O and now that you're a big bad wolf you gotta keep your anger in check. You can't wolf out in the middle of school bro and definitely not in front of Briar. You could hurt somebody. I wouldn't ever hurt Briar, that Black son-of-a-bitch sure, but never her. So I'm a big wolf. A protector of La Push, this is my life now. I'm bound here, WSU might as well be forgotten. My dad was right it has changed my life and I can't fight this. I'm gunna have to man up and accept it.
Briar
Well that could have gone worse I think to myself as I close my locker after a run in with Jacob Black. I scan the hall for Paul but can't find him. He probably had to stay late in his class to catch up with the stuff he missed last week. I head to the rest of my classes without seeing him at all. Maybe he started feeling sick again and went home "Hey where'd u go? U ok? Love you :)" I text his phone, but get no reply. Well it's the end of the day and I'm back at the house before I grab all the stuff I need to work on me and Jake's project. I've never been over to Jacob's and I hope this will be the first and only time. When I arrive I'm greeted at the door by a very sweet Rachael Black. She is nothing like her brother that's for sure. She says Jake's in the basement and to go ahead down. She made him promise to be nice. "Thanks, I can handle him" I laugh as I make my way down. We are working on our project in silence neither of us really wanting the other to be around. The doorbell rings and a bunch of people start talking in the kitchen at the top of the basement stairs. "Oh great the council initiation is starting, whoop-di- do. Another Sam Uley clone is being born." Jake says with sarcasm as he shuts his book. We are finally done and I am extremely thankful. One more minute with him and I would have locked him in his own basement closet. "First your brother now you boyfriend" he says. "What are you talking about?" I question. "Ya Paul's the newest member of the tribal council. He didn't tell you? Meh, I'm not surprised he doesn't tell the girls he's fucking lots of things." He says with a smirk. I've had enough I'm blowing this popsicle stand. "Fuck you Jake." And with that I make my way up the stairs. I'm in the tiny hallway between the kitchen and basement stairs as I hear what the group of men is talking about. "Jared calm down! I will not have you ruining my kitchen. I'm not exactly happy with this either, but he can't help who he imprints on." Billy says Why's Jared so mad? Who imprinted and what the hell is that? "Rachael come here, you remember the legend of the third wife and imprinting? Of course you do, well you've been imprinted upon just now. This is why you feel a pull to be close to him." Billy speaks to his daughter. "Imprinting means soul mates I just met him, not to mention I just found out all the legends are true! This is overwhelming!" Rachael yells. "Paul how could you imprint on Rachael! What about Briar? You're just going to drop her to be with Rachael?" Jared yells. Oh my god, my heart sinks into my stomach. I feel the tears fall and can't stop them I'm frozen in this tiny hallway listening to my boyfriend become soul mates with a girl he just met. I knew I shouldn't have let anyone in. This is why I guarded my heart for so long. He always said he'd never break my heart but he just picked it up and smashed it. How long has he loved her? Has he been cheating on me? "It's not like that Jar. I couldn't help it and you know it. I didn't mean to. I have to be with Rach though; I have a connection to her. When you imprint you'll understand. And I'll talk to Briar I love her, but I love Rach too now. Briar deserves someone better than me. I was never good enough for her" I can't take anymore. I feel like I'm going to throw up. My chest physically hurts. I finally remember how to move my legs. Everyone falls silent as they see me enter the kitchen. I slowly walk to the back door ignoring everyone's pleas for me to listen as they try to explain. As I open the screen I turn around to face Paul tears streaming down my face. "How could you do this to me?" I whisper then let the door slam shut behind me. I feel like I'm going to get sick and I puke in Jake's bushes. They all deserve that. I get in my car and just drive. I eventually make it home, I don't even know how. I've made my decision. Fuck Paul, fuck this town, I'm outta here. I'm so hurt and pissed I'm slamming doors and hurl the flower vase on the coffee table against the wall. The water drips down the wall mirroring the tears on my face. My parents are still at work while I pack all the things in my room and call the airport. I reschedule my flight to Pittsburgh for tonight. Once I'm on that plane I'm not coming back. I'm never coming back. I leave a note. "Hey ma, I called Opa and got an earlier flight as a Thanksgiving surprise! I tried calling but you wouldn't answer so I drove myself to the airport. Remember how Oma and Opa said I could live with her and graduate from my old school so I could be with Jula? Well I took her up on that. I love you and I'm sorry for running out like this but I had to make my flight. I know you're mad but I'm not coming back. I hope you visit soon. I love you. Tell dad and Jar I love them and tell Jar I'm sorry. You know La Push was never my home; it was always just where we lived. Don't be mad. I love you – Briar"