I'm completely lost and confused on what to do now…Damn Ryau that stupid pain in the ass! i think as I walk from the campus to the park where café mew mew is located. Damn him damn him damn him… what can I do now… I'm forced to work side by side with someone who I trusted with my life then he turned around and killed my soul.
That evening I work in a daze it's as if I'm watching my life as a movie. I feel as if I can't influence any part of the scenario even though I truly wish I could.
When it came time for Ichigo's break she hid in the back room with a spiral and wrote.
You killed me in the only way no one can tell. Since the way you did it no body dies yet to life after is to live a life of lies. You stole my innocence you stole my joy. You took my spirit and my soul. Then once you were done you through me aside like a little discarded toy.
I am now nothing but a shell being controlled by someone else but they are now me. I live my life like it's a play eternally acting on the stage of life, yet dreading the moment the curtain falls and I'm on my own again behind these thick walls.
I fight daily for my freedom yet as time goes on I lose my will to try just like a swimmer in a whirl pool, Perpetually drowning in sparrow and pain, while trying to solve the problems of others to avoid my own shame.
I feel as though I'm walking alone on an endless road of shadows and despair with no hope of safety or shelter. As I finally give up the struggle I slowly slip into the realm of dreams, but where I should find sweet serenity all I find is more torture, chaos, and death. Harm is everywhere around me yet I have no desire to leave. Even if I wanted to try all my energy has run away from me.
So now all I can do is curl up in a corner and cry. But is that any way to live a life waiting to die? Especially when you are already dead and gone!
As Ichigo finished writing she was startled by a knock on the door. It was pudding looking for her because everyone thought she had disappeared.