From Zero to Infinity

by Flagarach

In the latest chapter of "From Zero to Infinity": The first battle is over, but is everything really what it seems? Battles are fought, alliances are formed, and people die! Especially when they are killed. What kind of turns will this war come to see? See it in chapter 3: Second chances!

4. Second chances

[3rd of February, 20:23]

Shock reigned over the battlefield. The matchless spear met its match; The tiger of Kai was slain; The strongest hero of the Sengoku period, killed on the first day of the war. It was unbelievable. Nobody would have thought that this hero, who had shown to be stronger than the other two knight classes, would be defeated this early.

But the victors didn't care with the how. For them, the only thing that mattered was the results: Saber is alive, and Lancer is dead. Irisviel quickly rushed to her servant, healing the wounds she received in combat before another pragmatic hero decided to finish off the weakened hero. The internal wounds healed quickly: The stabs Saber received from Lancer's "Rekka" were filled, new flesh filling the gaps. The two chopped off fingers regenerated, and were quickly movable again. The fractured jaw glued itself back together, and her face took on her normal shape once again. The only wounds that were healing slowly were the burns Lancer gave her, as if these were clinging onto their existence, being the only proof of Lancer's superiority in battle. While they did not injure her, they did gave her great pain; as if it was Lancer's dying curse, trying to drag Saber in his own agony.

Saber slowly stood up, checking her body for any uncured injuries, and found that she also had broken her leg. A three second magic spell managed to erase the last of her hindrances, and she was ready to go her way with her proxy master.

"Are you okay, Master?" Saber asked to Irisviel, wondering if anything had happened to her during the battle.

"I'm fine… but you look horrible." Irisviel was saddened, thinking about how the life of a girl was ruined with such battle scars. She knew that Saber was not an average girl, and considered herself a tool and an assassin, yet she still couldn't help but feel sad.

"I am alive, able to kill, and still able to taste that Fuyuki Beef you promised me. It could've been much worse."

Irisviel let out a small smile. "I guess it's true. But that red dress won't look nice with your current wounds. How about we buy you a ninja outfit to conceal your body?"

"Get serious, Irisviel." Saber directed an apathetic gaze to Irisviel, who lost her own smile in response.

"Saber…"

"If I need some face-concealing clothing, it has to be some magic armor I have to shout the name of, like going all Incursio! or something like that." Saber made some exaggerated movement, wildly swinging her body around, until she couldn't hold it anymore, and burst out laughing, a measure of showing her victory. Irisviel joined her, and the two laughed for a minute, before they went on their marry wa-

Clunk. It was the sound of wood hitting on asphalt. The two women looked at the source of the sound, and they noticed the impossible: There stood Lancer, using his only arm to keep himself standing, giving a scowl of pain, and looking like he could die at any moment. But he was alive.

Saber's Noble Phantasm kills instantly. To stay standing after taking a hit is impossible. None can stand after taking a hit. Not even the strongest of warriors, the most agile of thieves, the most vital of knights… all will die after a single hit. Yet there he stood, defying all logic that was trying to kill him.

"This fight… isn't over, Saber-dono!" His voice was ragged, and Lancer had trouble to even speak, let alone shout like he just did. Yet he was still capable of running at Saber, trying to take her life.

Even with only a single arm left, he was still able to put Saber on the defensive. Saber was confused, unable to understand how someone could survive the "One-Cut Killer". Dodging and parrying the attacks Lancer made with his leftover arm she searched for an answer, but found none.

A lunge penetrated her defenses, burning her skin once again. Saber had a somewhat easier time now that she only faced one arm, but she still couldn't go on the offensive. Her only salvation was once again her master.

"Saber, did your Noble Phantasm fail?" The question resounded in Saber's head, asked by Kiritsugu. Saber herself didn't understand. He showed visible hinder from her blade's poison… his heart should be destroyed right now! He should fade to dust! He breaks every existing law in the universe! He should die! That madman must die! Fall over and bite the dust again! Return back to the throne, you mumbling abomination!

Kiritsugu noticed his servant's struggling, and decided to ease her problems by killing the root: Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi. Taking his sniper rifle once again, he laid down and aimed his crosshairs at Lancer's master. If he was gone, then Lancer would surely die from prana exhaustion.

But for some reason, he couldn't shoot.

It was not because he was physically incapable. If that was it, then Kayneth would be dead many times by now. It's not because killing him will have bad consequences. No, it's the opposite, killing him would only be good for him!

What prevented him from shooting was the massive fireball that was hanging in the sky. The dark night sky had been replaced with blue skies, like the fireball was replacing the sun. People all over Japan were waking up, looking at this strange sun that was clearing the night away.

In the middle of this sun stood the servant that created these flames: Lancer. He was burning brighter than the sun, a man who became the embodiment of his own soul. It would be comparable to a reality marble, because the blaze of his soul was projected onto the dark reality of this world.

Kiritsugu wanted to look away and simply shoot his master, but he couldn't. It was impossible for him to look away from those awesome flames. No man or woman could look away from the coolness of the fire. Saber was watching. Irisviel was watching. He was sure that even Maiya was watching. Nobody could turn away from that blaze.

"Saber!" Lancer shouted, louder than ever before. Standing in the middle of the fire, he shot glares at Saber that for some reason managed to actually physically hurt her. "Your class is supposed to be the paragon of virtue! How can you have fallen so low?! I will not allow this blasphemy to continue!" Lancer drew his weapons, now triple-wielding his tridents with a single hand. "Here I come, Saber! Fight me honestly and squarely, and die honestly and squarely! I, Yukimura Sanada, challenge you to a duel to the death!" The burning ball of fire descended upon the world, burning the trees beneath it. The fireball of doom slowly advanced towards the servant of the sword (because that's cooler than dropping fast).

All hope was lost, as Saber was completely out of options. She readied her sword, preparing for a last charge. Was there nothing that could save he-

"Three sacred treasures activate!"

Saber's rescuer appeared in the sky: Archer hovered in the air, blocking the fire with the shield that appeared on his left arm. His entire appearance had changed: His golden laurel was replaced with a golden Spartan helmet, golden bracelets replacing his leather ones, winged shoes covering his feet, and a golden breastplate covered his torso. In his right hand was a golden bow with blue and red ornaments, and on his left arm was a big golden shield.

"Pit!" Both Lancer and Saber said in varying degrees of loudness, recognizing the Noble Phantasms and its wielder. Jumping higher into the air, Lancer wondered why Archer returned to the battlefield.

"Remember that duel to the death you proposed? I accept it! I accept it right here, right now!" Archer readied his bow, preparing to fire several arrows at Lancer. "I'll fulfill my promise now, Lancer!"

Lancer looked at Archer, tears flowing from his eyes. "Archer…" Lancer recovered himself and wiped the tears off his eyes, and stood brightly before Archer. "Pride rests on the spears of honor and chivalry! Archer, I am so glad to fight you in this war!" He twirled his spears, his flames burning hotter than ever. "I am Sanada Nobushige Yukimura, General of the Takeda Army, follower of both lordships Takeda and El-Melloi! Here I come, Archer-dono!"

"I accept, Lancer!" Multiple golden arrows appeared on Archer's bow, each one ready to. "I am Pit, Servant of both Lady Palutena and Sir Tohsaka! Now let us fight!" The arrows were released at high speeds, each trying to honorably end Lancer's life. Lancer's flames burned them slightly, but Archer's spirit pierced every layer of the sun on their way to the core of Lancer's being.

With a single sweep of his tridents the arrows scattered, quickly losing their energy before being consumed by the sun. The ball of flames moved in on the flying servant, trying to imprint its flames onto Archer.

Bursts of fire flew out, each a powerful arrow on its own. These were swifter than eagles, stronger than lions; it took Archer many bolts of his own to stop even one of these flaming pillars, leaving him with only his dodging skills to graze what he couldn't destroy.

Swirling in between the flames, he sought for openings in Lancer's stance. But those were almost non-existent: His flames were like a big barrier protecting him, leaving nothing for him to take advantage of.

More flames shot out at the servant, and yet again he was able to evade them. But he also learned the horrible truth about Lancer: His flames were dwindling. Each attack was weaker than the last: The strength diminished; The diversity lessened; It's power sapped away; It was obvious that whatever Saber's blade did left its effects on the servant of the spear.

"Archer-dono!" Lancer suddenly emerged from the flames, tridents ready in his hand. He swept many times at Archer, trying to get a hit in, but most of them were blocked by the shield on Archer's arm.

"Lancer!" Archer responded to Lancer's spirit by changing his own bow into twin swords, and rushed at Lancer.

"Archer-dono!" Lancer grew a new, flaming arm out of sheer willpower and restarted duel-wielding his tridents. He returned Archer's favor, and came at him with full power.

"LANCER!" The swords cut through the air, each swing trying to drag Lancer's soul back to the Throne.

"ARCHER-DONO!" The spears pierced the flaming heavens, trying to claim Archer's head as their own.

The weapons clashed, each servant dodging and parrying each other while counterattacking. Both servants vocally let out their joy by loud battle cries.

The attacks became more and more, slowly but steadily reaching their apex. And when it was reached, both servants back away from each other, before deciding to settle it with a final clash.

"LAAAAANNNNCEEERRRR!" Discarding his half-molten armor, Archer rushed at Lancer with speeds beyond his limits.

"AAARRRCHERRR-DOOONOOOO!" Using all his flames to create a massive explosion behind him, he flung himself at Archer.

After a flight that took microseconds both spears and swords clashed into each other, creating a deadlock of unbelievable power and proportion:

The burnt trees beneath them turned into splinters upon being faced with this astounding force; Some of the nearby houses crumbled to dust when they saw the magnificence of the blow. Every part of the Fuyuki bridge but what was necessary to keep Kayneth standing tall and stable turned to dust from this… this… this indescribable greatness. And it looked very, very awesome.

But it was not without consequence. The dooming power left by Saber's blade finally washed over him, and he fell down to the ground, a smile on his face.

"Lancer!" Archer looked with shock at the fallen servant, and flew right after him, barely catching him before he crashed into the ground. Lancer looked more battered than even before his sudden revival, and his new arm already burned away. The last specks of fire had stopped burning, and all that was left was the half-dead body of Lancer.

"Archer…" Lancer's usual brash voice was replaced with a softer one, for he was incapable of speaking normally. "I am Sanada Nobushige Yukimura, and I have no doubt that our battle would have been the greatest of the entire war if it finished… yet my flames are exhausted and I can fight no longer. Go on; take my head as your trophy if you can promise me one thing, Archer-dono."

"What is it, Lancer?" Archer had kneeled down besides the dying servant, tears streaming down his face. He didn't want his friend to die, and neither did the dead man want to leave the honorable warrior alone. But fate would not grant their wish, so Lancer could only pass his to the servant of the bow.

"Win, Archer. Win this fight that I couldn't. Win the Grail and have your wish fulfilled. Show the enemies that the pride of warriors like us will triumph in the end!" His body stopped moving, and only the slight movements of his head indicated that he was still in this world.

"I will, Lancer! I will, my friend!" Archers tears doubled in amount. His sorrow over this loss was enormous, even higher when the other human he respected died. "I will win, and I will show the world the strength of warriors like us! So Lancer, even when we return to the Throne of Heroes, let us not forget about our fight! Let us remember it, so we can fight again on even standing!"

"Of course, my friend and rival. But please, grant one last request of mine: Chop my head off right now and take it as your trophy."

"Lance-"

"Archer-dono!" Lancer spoke loudly, returning Archer's focus. "I can die any moment now due to Saber's trickery, and I refuse to be killed by someone like her. I want you, a worthy opponent, to take my head, so I can return to the Throne with honor. Please grant my request, Archer."

With tears streaming from his face Archer readied his sword, and chopped Lancer's head off with a single blow. His head rolled over the ground, a satisfied smirk plastered on his face. It bounced a few times off the ground before it fell apart into red dust, being blown away with the wind, just like the rest of his crumbled body.

February 3rd, 20:33. The time of death of the first loser in the Grail War, Lancer. Only 6 servants to go.

[February 3rd, 20:33]

The battle was over, but nobody was able to take their eyes away from it. Saber, Kiritsugu and Maiya: All could feel the heroism and pride of this battle clashing with their very being. Irisviel, Kayneth: Both were awestruck by the displayed honor. Even the observers up above had their eyes glued to the battle, and only after Lancer died were Waver and Rider capable of rational thinking.

"So… it's done. Lancer is dead, right?" Waver stood still, his body not yet overcoming his own awe. He could not believe it. That someone that awesome would die that quickly. It was something he didn't expect.

Rider was the same, but he was over his awe faster. Recollecting himself, he told Waver that "Great things often last only a short time." Waver's dumbstruck face changed into joy upon hearing this, shouting and jumping from happiness.

"The first servant is down, and it's a strong servant too! And we've gathered important information on Saber without giving away our own identity! An-"

"Hold your horses, master." Rider damped Waver's mood, and turned to him. "It is certainly good news that there's a servant less to deal with, but we haven't won yet." Waver turned to his servant and started pouting, claiming that they had all rights to be happy and party. "I never said that we had no right to be happy." Rider walked over to a small wooden box in the corner, and pulled something out of it. Waver recognized the object as… a wine bottle? "So let us toast to the first death of this war, master." Taking two wine glasses from the cabinet, he poured wine for the both of them to enjoy.

Just as Rider wanted to pour the second glass, he hesitated. "What wrong, Rider?" Waver asked to his loyal servant. "Did something happe-"

"Are you allowed to drink?" Rider asked in all seriousness.

"Hah?"

"Because you don't look like you're old enough."

Waver became quite furious. "I'm nineteen! I've had wine, beer; heck, I even had 50% vodka!"

A small squabble occurred. Waver was throwing insults at Rider, who got somewhat angry too. Both master and servant continued until they grew tired of it, which was after 5 minutes.

They looked outside once more, noticed the changes that happened down below, and planned their new action after taking a nice sip of wine.

"Master." Rider ordered Waver, "You return back home and go to sleep. The ship is programmed to stand still a few blocks away from our base, and you should be able to get off. I will get off here, because I have a few backup plans I want to set in motion."

Waver complied, and the two of them decided to execute their plans…

[February 3rd, 20:34]

Saber was relieved: It was finally over. Lancer was dead for good. One of, maybe even THE biggest threat of this war had been eliminated. His master was shot and fell to death, meaning that he cannot forge a contract with any of the possible upcoming free servants. This first night went well… for the most part. Because there is currently one big problem for Saber:

Archer.

He was somewhat wounded from his final duel with Lancer, but compared to the wounds Saber received, they were mere scratches. If Archer would want it he could fight Saber, and the chance was very high that it would become Saber's funeral if Kiritsugu's command seals didn't interfere. There were two ways to go with the usage of a command spell: Either it gets used to heal Saber, or it gets used to teleport Saber away from the battle.

Kiritsugu had to choose one of these options. The first might not heal Saber to her full extent, leaving an underpowered Saber to fight Archer. The second would absolutely save Saber, but Irisviel would be left alone with an enemy servant. What to choose…

The decision was hard, but a single memory he had from a few years ago revealed that a "heal" command only shuts the wounds instead of healing them, making it the less desirable option. Kiritsugu hated it, but now was the time to sacrifice Irisviel for the greater good. He raised his arm, the command seals visible to his own eyes. He imagined the shape of the seals, a focus that allowed him to concentrate on the command seal: "Saber, I order you:" The seals glowed a bright red color, resonating with the master's will, ready to unleash a miracle bordering magic. "Return back t-"

"Saber!" It was said quickly with a big burst of power, enough to break Kiritsugu's concentration. Looking at the source, he saw a furious Archer, who was more than enough reason to hurry up and order Saber back to the castle. "I should send you to the underworld, right now." His jovial expression was gone, replaced with anger and hate. It was unfitting for the angelic Archer to be seen like that, but only because he hadn't been in a situation like this before. His newfound friend, who was murdered before his time, with whom he couldn't have his promised "great battle"… and the one who ruined Lancer's hopes: Saber. Yet she still stood there, ready to murder another day. For a person who ruins fighting to such a degree, Archer had nothing but hate. "I should kill you right now." Archer's bow was still materialized, and Saber used the last of her strength to hold up her katana. "But I won't." To be filled with rage and hate… Archer couldn't let the likes of his former enemies get the last laugh. Especially Hades, he would be laughing his ass off when he sees his former "divine" enemy corrupted with evil.

Archer retrieved himself, once again following in the steps of his goddess. "There has been enough war for today." His expression switched from anger to indifference to sadness, his body slumping more every second. "Today we will grief the fallen… so go home, Saber… just… go home." A tear dropped from Archer's eye as he looked to his friend's place of death.

Saber had to hide her laugher as she walked away from the scene of battle. That idiot of an Archer let a weakened enemy walk away because of his grief. He might've performed the most stupid action of this war, to let an almost dead enemy live! Saber couldn't believe her luck.

She walked away with her proxy master who was performing some healing magecraft to restore the wounds she still had left from Lancer.

A small "Tsk" Could be heard from the man controlling the shadows of Fuyuki. This man didn't like Archer, for he was too much of a noble warrior to kill a weakened enemy. He also didn't like Saber, her pragmatism a dangerous opponent in a war. Since Archer didn't want to finish Saber, the man guessed he had to do it himself.

A command was spoken to the shadows, and the shadows followed the order. The patched-up Saber stared in stressing surprise at the monstrous beings that stepped out of the shadows: 3 sleek humanoid grey monsters, with zippers for mouths and a weird symbol on top of their head. The other two looked stronger, large golem-like enemies with massive bronze claymores. They spoke no words, but made their hostile intent quite clear.

Saber readied her weapon, and not a moment later did the monsters start to attack. The two larger monsters, golems as Irisviel called them, jumped in the air and slammed down on the concrete where Saber stood a moment ago, causing rubble to scatter about. More slashes came from these two enemies, who were now solely focused on the weakened Servant.

Two minions of a servant against the strongest of servants, Saber. In a normal situation the outcome would be a no-brainer. Saber wins. But now it was different. The two minions took every advantage they had: Saber was wounded and tired from a previous battle. They had strength in numbers. They had ambushed Saber. They kept reserves that could attack at any moment, forcing Saber to stay defensive. The battle was even, neither side directly capable of defeating the other.

Saber looked troubled. The attacker should think that Saber is a weak servant with a powerful Noble Phantasm that instantly kills whatever it cuts. In reality it can only insta-kill living beings, meaning that golems like these are the most dangerous opponent for her. Because she didn't want to reveal her weakness this quickly she decided to stay defensive until she had a chance to instantly kill her opponent.

Dodging in all directions, she waited for the moment the smaller enemies would strike. They most likely would ambush her to inflict a handful of pain, decreasing her fighting strength. The place where they stood in the beginning was now empty, so they would probably strike soo-

"KYAAAH!" Irsiviel screamed, and Saber internally cursed herself. These two big guys were a distraction so the smaller ones could kill her proxy master. She wanted to rush over, but she was incapable of doing so, for the big golems blocked the line between master and servant.

Irisviel herself was in a quite decent pile of problems: She was not weak, for her transmutation and healing magecraft made her a greater magus than her husband Kiritsugu, and she was still quite the capable combatant. But against those inhuman beings? She was greatly underpowered. She managed to temporarily bind one of the monsters, but the other two continued to lash out at her, cutting deeply in several parts of her body. It hurt, but she wouldn't die that simply. The vessel of the Grail would not die that quickly and easily. Yet she lacked any good ways to kill these things, so all she could do was to reduce the taken damage as much as possible. Dodging and weaving through the enemies, she tried to escape, but the monsters were faster.

This cat-and-mouse play continued for several moments, but when the third broke free and she wasn't capable of binding a new one, she was overwhelmed by the power of the three: One tried to pierce her heart. The second would chop her head off if she blocked the first. The last would anticipate her dodges to cut her when she evaded. Seeing that her own servant was kept busy by the two larger enemies, she closed her eyes and prepared for her own death. "Saber, I'm sorry we couldn't have more fun." These words would be the last in her mind… or so she thought.

After three seconds that seemed like an eternity, she opened her eyes, only to find two of the tinier monsters pierced by blue arrows and the third currently in a blade lock with Archer.

"Archer?" Irisviel was confused by the sudden save of the legendary bow user. Why would he help the enemy?

"When I say that it is time for grieving, then… we… grieve!" He used his strength to cleave through the defenses of the last tiny opponent before standing between Irisviel and the two larger golems as an iron wall. "Whichever cowardly servant you are, cease your fighting now. One of us has already fallen; I don't want more blood to be shed today." Changing his twin swords into a bow, he loaded his weapon with two arrows, one for each opponent that was still trying to kill Saber.

The man of the shadows got angry. How dare that idiotic Archer ruin his plans! He had the chance to be the only knight class left, but he ruined it! He did not care about his minions. He had tons to replace those that fell in battle. The only real problem was that the creation of these minions, his Noble Phantasm, was now uncovered. Damn. The last option left was a suicide charge at the master. And he ordered his minions to do so.

At least, if it wasn't for that voice that suddenly occurred in the sky: "Archer, by my first command seal I order you to assist these golems at killing Saber and her Master." A big grimace showed on the man in the shadows, clearly agreeing with this Tohsaka who is Archer's master. Perhaps when Archer was gone he could switch to that person's side. He probably had more prana reserves than his current master too, so it wouldn't be that bad…

Pulling himself out of his dreams and into reality, he ordered his minions to not attack Archer and also to keep Saber occupied so Archer could kill her master.

Archer charged… at Saber? The man in the shadows cursed once more, forgetting in his bliss that while the servant was ordered to kill he would not forsake his pride. That Servant would only kill other servants, his honor not allowing himself with striking the master down from the shadows. But does it really change that much?

If Archer wants to kill the servant, then so be it. He would just switch the roles of his minions from "Distract Saber" to "Kill Saber's Master".

He only needed to wait for a good moment to switch the roles. If he did it too early, than Saber would use the opening to cut the minions down. If he did it too late than the master would escape. The best chance was directly after Archer and Saber clashed. In that case the master couldn't escape too far, and Saber will not be able to kill any of his minions.

From one of the nearby buildings Kiritsugu saw all of this unfold, and he couldn't help but blame himself for the trouble he's in. He let Saber go too far against Lancer, and as a result she got severely damaged, incapable to respond to counterattacks from other pragmatic servants. And now that both Archer and most likely Caster's minions were trying to kill Saber he had no other choice than to sacrifice Irisviel for the survival of Saber. He would choose the path of the least deaths, which was now the lone death of his wife. He turned his heart into steel, and gave the order: "Saber, I order you, return to the castle instantly."

Both Archer and the master of the golems looked surprised when Saber phased out of existence, disappearing in a flash. Either Saber used a second Noble Phantasm or this was the result of a command seal. Was that white-haired master prepared enough to provide a possible back-up master? Oh well, it didn't matter for the man in the shadows. He would kill Saber's master and be on his way. The death of two masters and one servant was a pretty decent start for the first day of the Grail War.

He snapped his fingers, and the two golems rushed at Irisviel. She was frozen in fear, and not capable of survivi-

Two arrows. Two arrows pierced the heads of the golems, followed by seven more that randomly stuck in his underlings. They disappeared in particles of darkness, and even those disappeared quickly. There was nothing that would remind people of these inhuman beings.

The man of the shadows was surprised at Archer's sudden betrayal, but even he knew that the power of the command seal was not omnipotent. Its effects probably decayed after Saber disappeared. But it had been a good night: One Knight class was done for, and the other two both lost a command seal. Satisfied he returned to his master.

The two that were left had a small discussion over Archer's heroic rescue: "Why… why did you save me, Archer?" Irisviel was relieved, but she was unable to find a good answer for that question. Sure, she was glad that she could stay alive for a while longer, but for Archer to negate the effects of a command seal to save her? It was absurd!

"My orders were to kill Saber and her master. But you are neither Saber nor her master. I'm doubtful that you are even a master! Since you are not a direct contestant of this war you could say that you are just a more special than average human, and that's a race that protect."

Irisviel understood Archer's reasoning now. He was clearly a good person, one that truly fits the role of a 'Heroic' servant. "Then I thank you, Archer. I, Irisviel von Eiznbern, am in your debt." Irisviel gracefully thanked the servant, and went on her way to the estate.

"Hey, uhm… Irisviel?" Archer seemed to want one last thing from Irisviel. Irisviel turned around, and she saw Archer averting his eyes from her, and a slight blush covered his cheeks. "You said something about a debt, and… well… would you please go out with me?!" The last words were almost shouted out of Archer's mouth, and Irisviel could only look flabbergasted at the servant. "I mean, you are a beautiful mature woman, with pretty long flowing hair, and from what I have seen you have a noble personality too… which also made me more sure that you weren't a master-servant pair with Saber… Oh, and you smell really good! So do you want to go out with me?" Archer was cheery again, his grief lowered by the power of love.

Irisviel was lost, and could only mumble out a straight "What?"

"Hey, angels have needs to, you know? So, want to go out ye-"

"I'm married."

…

…

"Dang it."

[4th of February, 4:12]

Boring. This dream was boring as hell, under the assumption that hell is actually punishment by boredom. Uryu didn't turn his eyes away from the main character of the dream, Caster, who was sitting in her room, doing nothing… for years.

"This is so fucking boring! What's wrong with your life, Flan? Why aren't you doing some cool stuff, like killing people?" Uryu wondered, angry with the boredom of the dream. He didn't expect any response from Caster, but shouting like this was a good anger relief method. It felt like ages were passing, without any real change. Uryu tried to pinch himself, trying to wake up from this boredom so he could spend some time with Flan cooking humans in new and cool ways.

"Ryu?" Uryu did not expect to hear his name called, but he didn't care. This was a change, and something different in this boring dream can never be bad.

"Yo, who's there?" He looked around, but saw no one, except for that which already was. "You aren't invisible, right? Cause that would make it really hard to find you."

"No, I'm right here! Look at me, Ryu." Uryu suddenly recognized the voice, and looked at the only place she had seen her. Caster was suddenly looking at his exact position, and gave a big grin as she waved to her master.

"How can you see me? Isn't this supposed to be your dream?"

"Who knows? Perhaps I'm talking to an imaginary friend named Ryu, and I correctly estimate his position, questions and habits? Maybe I have gone insane? Or you can just accept it under the premise that where I come from common sense will only hold you back." She flew through the air, landing next to where Uryu stood. "Anyways, I recommend that we skip some years. The real fun starts 495 years after I was locked in this place, which is not, well, now." Pulling some sort of remote control out of her pocket, she pressed some buttons that made the time inside the dream speed up hundred, no, thousandfold. After a few minutes Caster paused it, returning time to normal.

"Well, we've finally arrived at the good stuff." Turning to Uryu, she showed him a comfy chair with snacks and drinks. "Enjoy the fight, Uryu." As she said this, she left Uryu and returned to the bed in her room,

Uryu took her up on her offer and settled in the comfy sofa. It was nice and comfy, and easy to sit in! Grabbing some popcorn and a bottle of coke, he waited eagerly for the bloodbath that was going to occur.

After a few minutes two people burst through the door. One was an armpit-showing shrine maiden and the other was an apron-wearing mage.

"Say Marisa, didn't we fight her separately instead of together?" The miko asked to her friend Marisa, very slightly disoriented by this change of pace.

"Yeah, we did." The Magician shrugged, "I guess someone wants to keep our fight short, ze. Otherwise, just select one of the following: Magic, Eirin's new shady drug, Yukari fooling around again or a Moriya Shrine conspiracy da ze."

"Aren't templates like that forbidden?" The priestess asked in a monotone, deadpan voice.

"Am I one to ever follow the rules, Reimu?"

Reimu thought of it, if she could find some way to prove her friend wrong, but she had to agree with that fact. "Yeah, you're right. But aren't we forgettin-" And the door through which the duo entered suddenly blew up, forcing them to look at the origin of the explosion: "Oh yeah, boss battle against her. Sorry for ignoring you."

Caster was still angry, and she raged at the two: "We have visitors wanting to watch us fight! Can you two at least get serious while we are doing it?"

The duo sighed, before claiming that they had to make up some 'pre-battle' script before they could start the battle. "Lessee, what are we going to talk about Reimu?"

"Let's just fight her already." Caster threw her arm into the air from joy when she heard that.

"Good enough, ze." All three girls flew up in the air, ready to blast each other to smithereens.

[Taboo: Cranberry Trap - Ryu version]

Bullets started to form along the walls of the room, and shot at the duo from many angles. "A spell card already?" Marisa wondered, "What happened to the good ol' non-spellcards?"

"We have a slight time constraint for this battle, Marisa. He can only stay for so long here, so I cannot waste too much time on you. Sorr-ugh." The spellcard broke from the pair's counterattacks, forcing her to use a new one: [Taboo: Laevetainn – Master Version]. Her wand changing into a massive sword, she swung at the two wildly. The swings were dodged ,but flames lingered in the spots the swords had been, leaving less and less space for the two to maneuver to. Eventually Marisa became trapped, forcing her to [Love Sign: Master Spark] the living daylights out of the bullets.

Many more spells were used, the room becoming a sea of bullets with beautiful waves splashing against the coastal borders of the room. The battle raged on, but Caster couldn't land good hits on either of the duo, and in the end she lost. The three fighters decided to skip the tea and rice crackers and went on their way, leaving Caster alone with Uryu.

"So Ryu, how did you like some this true Gensokyan battle?" Caster asked to her guest, a big smile on her face. She pulled Uryu out of his chair, causing the last remains of his popcorn to fall down on the ground. Uryu was up, but he wasn't nearly as happy as his servant.

"I agree that it looked quite pretty. But this fight was like a good movie with a bad ending. It was a beautiful fight, but the only damage that occurred are those scratches on your clothes!"

Caster sighed in agreement, unhappy with the current way of life. Her smile disappeared, and she sat down on her bed, now acting fully serious. "Let me explain, Ryu. Once upon a time, before I lived here, there were no fighting rules in Gensokyo. People killed and murdered each other for various reasons. Some fought to gain power; others fought for justice; there were people who fought for science, for popularity, for many reasons. They slaughtered and were slaughtered. But this all changed when the creator of this world, Yukari Yakumo, attacked. She was saddened by the destruction of all she worked for, so she purged the world. 4 people survived: Those two you just saw were two of them, and they were originally meant to be the only ones to survive, the Lif and Lifprasir. The third was the Flower Youkai, the only one powerful enough to shrug off Yukari's purge. The fourth one was the seven-colored magician, thanks to the God of Makai sacrificing herself so her child could survive. She put the leftover survivors in cryosleep, and sought for new people outside of Gensokyo to refill her lands, which is the group I belong to. To prevent a new slaughter she installed very strict rules on battling, which may now only be done by way of Danmaku battling. As such, all life-or-death battles were reduced to the state you just saw."

"Truly a pity." Uryu didn't like it. Who was this Yukari? Why does she think she is? All she has done so far is oppress the people living here. She's turned this place into a land of prisoners! Uryu disliked her. She may sound powerful, but she is a mere monster. Just a monster that enacts its own unjust laws!

Uryu got madder and madder with every passing moment, anger welling up within him. "Hey, Flan?" Caster looked at her master, and saw the new aura that he excluded: gone was his playful killing, replaced with stern seriousness. His heart was now filled with a cause, and his eyes shone brightly. He understood now his purpose in life: He would liberate this world. He would create a world in which the strong fight, and the weak get murdered. A world in which Flan could roam free and do as she wants. "Didn't you say that there was this thingy you fought for to get your wish fulfilled?"

Caster was surprised to see her master finally interested in the Grail War. "Yes, the Holy Grail. Why do you want to know, Uryu?"

"Isn't it obvious? We are going to get that Grail and liberate the world!"

Caster happily nodded, and promised that they were going to win this fight!

…

…

…

"So, what now?" The dream had a great moment to finish, but for some reason it seems like it wasn't over yet.

Caster offered a few options: the first option was to wake up now, but then he would wake up at half past four in the morning instead of eight o'clock. The second option was to wait here for 3 and a half hour. The last option was to explore more dreamworlds!

It wasn't even a choice, and the two decided to use Caster's strange remote control to travel to other awesome dreams!

"Hey Flan, where did you get that control from?"

"I'm Caster-class, of course I'm knowledgeable in Item Creation!"

"Okay, that works." After a small exchange of words the duo ended up in another dream. Here they saw a red-headed teen watch the life story of a golden king. The boy was pretty unremarkable, the only thing that looked special about him was his hair that shone like a blazing fire. No, it was the story of the king that he was following that was special:

The king, two-thirds god and one-third human, was born as ruler of the greatest nation of its time, and raised it to great glory. But he got arrogant, and the gods wanted to punish him. For this they created a man of the wilds, who challenged the king to a fight. After shaking both heaven and earth they ended in a draw, and the king found his first friend in the man. They went on many adventures: slaying the guardian of the cedar forest; The retrieval of their treasures from the underworld; Their defeat of the bull of heaven; They had a great time together. But the defeat of the divine bull caused repercussion-

The world started to crumble, like its existence was destroyed. Who or what could have done thi-

"Oops." Caster apologetically said. Well, that defines who did it. The world crumbled, and eventually altered into nothingness.

There was nothing left, except for Caster and Uryu.

No, that's not right. There was someone else. It was… a green-yellow mushroom?

"You! You destroyed my Ilya Route!" This mushroom shouted, "Shirou would have gotten Gilgamesh as his servant; he would fight Saber, Archer, Rider and Berserker at the same time; he would've become bros with Kirei! It contained 300% more awesome than the Heavens Feel route! And you destroyed it! Now I have to put HF with the other two routes and sell it as a single novel instead of two awesome ones! All because of you!"

Both Uryu and Caster apologized for their actions, but the mushroom was not satisfied. He recognized the companion of Uryu, and summoned Him.

Between the two parties appeared a middle-aged Asian man with a beautiful green hat, and his mere sight was enough to make Caster fall on her knees.

"M-Milord ZUN!" She shakenly stated in utter respect. This man, who stood above her world, was now judging over her.

"Flan? Why are you kneeling?" Uryu didn't get it. Why would she need to kneel? If she… no, that would not be it. Perhaps… yes, that was it! This man was chaining Flan down, forcing her in her room! He would change that.

He turned to the man, anger flaring off in bursts of him. "So, you are also responsible for putting her down in this state, right?" The man nodded. He was her creator, so she would fulfill the goals he set for her. "I cannot forgive that! I will make sure you will be punished for this!"

ZUN looked at this man, who dared to face him just so he could save one of his creations. He turned away from the duo, claiming that their comradery was splendid. "Never tarnish it." He gestured the mushroom to follow him, letting the other two "live in their own folly, which will turn in despair when they realize it. Now come, Nasu. Our work here is done." The mushroom let out a small "Tsk" before following the other man, both disappearing from existence.

The master-servant duo had enough of this world too, and used the remote to escape to another dream.

In this new world stood a lone hero, watching the life of his servant: a girl who was raised to become the greatest assassin of the empire, only to rebel the very empire that raised her.

"Now remember Flan, don't blow up this world too." These words said by the orange-haired master reached the ears of the black-haired master, who turned around in surprise.

"Who are you?" He asked in a manner that would fit an evil interrogating cop. The duo introduced themselves as Uryu and Flan, with Flan adding that she was summoned as the servant Caster of this Grail War.

"So there is a servant that can trespass into other people's dreams? How troublesome." The other master turned around, looking at the interrupters of his dreams. They just stood there, watching both him and the life story of the servant that was unfolding.

"And I see that your servant is that red-eyed demon. Will she be interesting to play with or is there a limit to what she can muster, mister master?"

"There is no need for my servant to play with you if you want to fight in here. After all, even I can be hero in my own dreams!" The world changed as those words were spoken. Gone was Saber's history. This new place is a battlefield basking in the twilight, littered with hundreds, thousands, unlimited guns. Caster and Uryu look in amazement at the world alteration that's occurring before their eyes. The other master stood in front of the two of them, and he had notably changed: gone were the formal dark clothes of the assassin, the shroud of murder having fallen from his shoulders. He was now clad in brilliant white armor, a paladin that protects all. Two guns appeared in his hands, his trusty Thompson Contender in his left and a Calico M950 in his right. The scattered guns on the ground started to float around Kiritsugu, each one aimed at the opposing pair. "Now let me show you the power of my dreams given form. Face these Unlimited Gun Works!"

[4th of February, 7:45]

There were many things Waver found annoying in his life. His teacher El-Melloi, physical work, Sir Archibald, his own lack of magic circuits, that asshole of a Kayneth... yep, many things. But what he hates the most right now is that accursed alarm clock that keeps on bleeping no matter how often he snoozes!

After the third snooze, he decided that he would take it no longer and angrily slammed the clock again before he got out of bed and decided that it was time to start the day. Changing from his pajama to his normal clothes he was ready to start eating breakfast. Well, he was. He slightly lost his appetite when he saw his servant reading the prototype of the manuscript he created which had gotten him public humiliation.

He was slightly scared when Rider read it, hoping that he wouldn't dismiss it like that teacher did. No, he should forget about that forged rating his teacher gave him! He knew that it was great! Not perfect, probably, but it has to be at least an eight out of ten.

"Waver." Surprised by his servant's words he looked to Rider, who was finished reading his paper. "How did your professor rate this script?" Waver let out all his frustrations, fumingly explaining how that guy gave him such an horrendous score. "I agree, it is a tad low."

"It is, isn't it?! Such a great work should at least deserv-"

"I give you 42 points." Rider interrupted his master's speech to announce the worth he had given to this work.

"Out of fifty?" Waver was content with such a score. Slightly higher than his minimum worth, he found it acceptable.

"No, out of hundred." Waver's high hope shattered like a dropped glass figurine. He was first in shock at his servant's "betrayal", followed by sadness, which turned into emptiness before it settled into anger and rage.

"What do you mean with that, Rider? Did Kayneth's will state that you would inherit his entire fortune as long as you discredit my theories?" After processing this thought for a second, Waver realized that it was quite improbable. But compared to his paper being bad? It was many times more likely.

"No, I deemed it bad because you made many mistakes that would determine your research useless." Rider was still sticking to his belief that Waver was wrong, and Waver still wouldn't except such a thing.

"Name one."

"Well…" He flipped the script to the page with conclusions. "Let's see… the main conclusion was one that annoyed me the most: 'Thanks to this method it is possible for a magus to become stronger during life, which will in turn increase the strength of his offspring by the currently known genetic heritage.'" He closed the book and threw it on the desk, not wanting to read it again. "Tell me, did you ever hear about Jean-Baptiste Lamarck and his theory of adaptation?" Waver shook his head, not knowledgeable of wisdom outside magecraft. "It was a theory that can be boiled down to the ability of parents to give their offspring knowledge or skills by having the parent become stronger or smarter. It was proven wrong, just as this conclusion of yours. People cannot share their own experience through genetics."

Waver wanted to retort, but it made sense: if he would become a weightlifter then his kids would not be stronger than the children of others. But still this was only one mistake. Surely that wasn't worth almost 60 points of reduction!

"To be precise, master, your entire paper is based on biased conclusions." Waver's anger flared, ready to use a command seal to shut his servant up. He really wanted to use it, but he calmed himself down, not wanting to waste a powerful resource on something trivial and unimportant when compared to the Grail. No, he would listen, and rebut Rider's arguments. It would be hard to beat him, but he would succeed! "Your research is about the improvement of one's magecraft through experience. While a noble goal to research, it is also impossible the way you describe it. A possible way for one to improve is to improve the quality of these magic circuits you describe. It would be the same as a runner improving his speed by running a lot. On the other hand, the increase of magic circuits that you describe is like a high jumper growing wings because he jumped a lot. Half your work is trying to provide proof for a fact that can be theoretically disproven."

"Ah, since when are you a magecraft expert?"

"I'm not. The subjects I taught as a professor may not have anything to do with all that magic you learn, but those beginner's magic guides you hide in your room combined with basic logic provide me with a decent grasp on this matter." He shifted his hand into the inside of his cloak, and pulled out a similar paper as the one Waver submitted. "Using your research data I have written a better version, one that will cause your teacher to at least give you 90 out of 100 points." He handed the document to his master, who looked with disgust at the front page:

"New research for temporary improvement of magecraft efficiency? That's not what I wanted to research!" Waver wanted to tear it apart, this mockery of all the efforts he put in his work. How dare he! How dare that servant dismiss him like that!

"It might not be what you wanted, it still is what you found out. Most solutions start out as either accidents or unexpected results from something completely different. Your discovery is the same!"

"But it is not what I want! I wanted to prove that people can become stronger with experience too! That a difference in the number of circuits you were born with can be overcome with hard work and determination!"

"That will not happen." The heated argument went cold, Waver unable to bring out his shock and anger in any way possible. "Some people are more talented than other people. And from what I can measure from your prana output I can say that you are not a strong magus, a skilled one at best. Compared to the master of Saber and her wire magecraft or the complex bounded fields Lancer's master put around himself you are pretty much nothing."

Waver just stared at him. These words, these words he knew so well but that he didn't want to accept. They pierced straight through him, showing him the harsh truth of reality. His dream was shattered. Waver broke down into tears, unable to hold himself. He cried, loud enough that Rider was glad that both of Waver's fake grandparents left for shopping.

"There, there, Waver." Rider took the kid in his arms, and Waver noticed how much larger his servant felt. The cries of the master soon disappeared, and his eyes stopped watering. "You may be a terrible third-rate magus, but I guarantee that you are a first-class researcher. One of the new magecrafts you created was truly amazing: The usage of prana to improve circuit efficiency will probably alter the way people look at the genetic heritage of magic circuits."

"Really?" Waver looked at his servant not believing anything. He did not trust this caring side of Rider.

"Really. It will cause magi all over the world to focus even more on the amount of magic circuits one has to determine one's potential."

Rider realized that this statement went against everything that Waver was trying to prove, and the results were imminent: Waver started crying. Again. Rider chastised Waver for his continuous crying, saying something about how he should be proud of what he is capable of, and just learn other skills to make up for the things he is lacking in. "In my case, next to archeology I also have enough knowledge of mechanical engineering, technical chemistry and biology to create the Noble Phantasms you have seen; And I am also well-versed with the piano and hold a high rank in parkour and a multitude of combat techniques. What you lack in 1 area you can make up for with other parts. You may have your limits, but you can overcome them with knowledge from outside the box. So don't cry, master. If you cannot succeed with pure magic, than combine with other techniques to fulfill your dreams!"

Waver calmed himself down and wiped away his tears. Rider may be right. He is not a great magus, but a great researcher. It's true, but he will not give up on his dream: He will become a first-rate magus, but instead of searching for an oblivious truth he will now use all at his disposal to reach his limits, and he will overcome those limits using everything he knows!

"Rider." His voice contained no more childish dreams, having woken up to harsh reality. "What you say is true. Your words make me know what I want now. I will win this grail war and gain power equal, no, beyond that of the true magicians. And even if I fail, I will take all routes possible to become stronger and greater. It won't be easy, but I will give it my all, Rider."

Rider was content with these words. His master had gotten serious. He had gotten a goal, a true and realizable one. "If that is your wish, master, then I promise to help you on your path. I will stand beside you as you reach greatness never seen before. So do not give up, and give it your all, Waver."

"I will, Rider. I will."

[4th of January, 9:46]

Kariya woke up from another painful and sleep-deprived night. Sleeping was already difficult in this monster's house, and the worms inside his body only made it worse. He was lucky that he managed to eventually fall asleep around four o'clock, so he had around five hours of sleep. It should be just enough for the upcoming day, and he needs all the time he can get to kill enemy servants.

Honestly, he didn't even want to sleep in this house. If it was to him, he would simply roam the streets with his servant and ambush enemies whenever he could. But Berserker didn't agree with this plan, and opted that roaming the streets is only an available option after the original base has been destroyed. Stupid servant, he wished Berserker would get along with his plans for once.

Walking down the stairs of the manor while still yawning loudly, he found himself in the living room where Berserker was working on a big oversight.

"Well, Berserker, managed to kill any servants this night?" Kariya sarcastically asked to his servant, not expecting much from someone who holes himself up and only sends minions to fight his enemies. Consider his surprise when he told him that Lancer was dead and the other knight classes were forced to use a command seal each.

"I admit, you did better than I expected. I apologize for wanting to force you to fight on the field."

"No hard feelings." Berserker replied dryly before returning to his schedule. He drew a few lines, circled some things on it, before looking with great satisfaction at the results. "Master, could you please look at this?" Berserker turned the oversight so that Kariya had a good view of it, showing names of various masters and servants:

In one circle stood the words "Saber" and "Einzbern", which was connected to another circle with the words "Emiya" and a question mark between brackets. Another circle containing the words "Tohsaka", "Archer" and "Pit" that is connected to a circle with the words "Kotomine" and another question mark. In another circle were the words "El-Melloi", "Lancer" and "Yukimura Sanada", and a dotted line is connected to a circle with the words "Velvet" and another question mark. The last circle was unconnected to any other, and contained the words "Matou" and "Myself". Outside the circles stood the words "Rider", "Caster", "Assassin", and "Possible other master".

"So, do you understand what I've written down here?" Berserker asked to his master, hoping to get a good answer.

"Well, they're master-servant relationships… But I think I would miss the finer details of this schematic unless you explain everything."

Berserker was content with this answer, and started explaining: "This is a schematic of all master servant pairs and underlying relationships between these pairs. The two of us did start off with a major disadvantage: The other pairs are already divided into three camps, each consisting of a knight class and a non-knight class. The first pair is led by the Tohsaka you despise so much. I am quite convinced that his servant is Archer, whose true identity is Pit."

"Who's this Pit you are talking about?" Kariya interrupted. He was unfamiliar with the name of this hero, and he doubted that Tokiomi would summon some nameless hero as his servant. A Tohsaka should never be forced to summon a servant without catalyst considering their influences and money, and should always have some really famous hero at their side.

"Do you know the legends of Perseus and Icarus?" Kariya recalled the stories about these heroes: One was about a demigod who slew the gorgon Medusa and the sea serpent Cetus. He was a cunning and brave hero who was armed with several items the Gods granted him, and Kariya was sure that those would return as Noble Phantasms in case he was summoned as a servant; The other was about a tragic man who wanted to fly. He succeeded with artificial wings, but fell to his doom after his wings were burned by the sun. "Archer can be seen as the true origin of these stories. And who is the most likely master to have a powerful servant from Greek Mythology?"

"Tokiomi Tohsaka. Of course." It was pretty obvious now that Kariya thought about it. Someone like Perseus is what he expected of that child-abandoner. It would make this battle a lot harder…

"Yes. There wasn't even a need to guess, he announced it for the world to hear. Anyhow, that Tohsaka has Kotomine Kirei working with him. They worked 3 years as teacher and student, so they are likely to be allied. The same situation applies to the El-Melloi/Velvet alliance. Another teacher-student pair, of which we know that El-Melloi's servant is Yukimura Sanada, summoned as the Lancer class. This pair has been killed off yesterday, leaving Velvet as a sole survivor. The last pair is the Einzberns. Servant Saber was sighted with a silver-haired, red-eyed woman."

"So, she was sighted with an Einzbern." Kariya was given the bare minimum of knowledge from his grandfather, and one of those few things he learned was that the Einzbern would use a homunculi with silver hair and red eyes, shaped after their ancestor Justeaze von Einzbern.

"Yes, that's the same thing Zouken said. That means that the Einzbern master has summoned Saber. Your grandparent also managed to uncover that the Einzberns hired the magus killer Kiritsugu Emiya. I think that he is a master too in this war, most likely summoning something like Assassin to support Saber. The only people who are all alone in this war are the two of us."

"Hmm… so the best course of action is to ally with the other person who is now alone, right?"

"It's not a bad option, but there is a high chance that his servant is Caster, who is effective against my Berserker class, or Assassin, who can and will backstab us at any given moment. No, I want to ally with the Einzbern master. They will keep us alive for long enough to execute our plans, if only because they will probably think that we don't know about Emiya and his servant. If we play our cards right, we can use this alliance to break up the Tohsaka and demolish the Einzbern. Now all we need to do is to establish this alliance…"

[4th of January, 10:53]

When Archer returned home from his battle with Lancer and Saber last night he was thoroughly scolded at for "Failing to kill a heavily wounded enemy and her master." While Tokiomi's rage was slightly alleviated after Archer informed him that the white-haired Einzbern only acted as a proxy master, and that the real master was someone else. This gave Tokiomi some food for thought: If the Einzbern master was a fake, then would that mean that they didn't have a premade double master-servant alliance with the magus killer? Was there really only one master among the Einzbern, just Emiya Kiritsugu?

Lost in thought about this new and unexpected development, he told Archer to complete his grieving tonight and be ready for a new mission in the morning.

Archer spent the whole night to finish his grief for his fallen comrade in arms. When the morning came he stopped, and continued with life as usual until that moment. Tokiomi had given him a new order, to scout and infiltrate the Black Castle. He immediately flew off trough the sky, and after a short flight he landed at the castle's front door.

Archer was quite certain that he was already spotted. After all, he's not Assassin. That's his ally. And unless this castle had specifically mentioned that it is badly or incapable of detecting enemy movements then he was sure that the enemy had already taken precautions. He walked over to the front door, and gave it a kick he knew that was futile. This was a powerful Noble Phantasm that would at leas-

"No. Freaking. Way."

"Archer, what happened?!" Tokiomi's voice resounded through Archer's head, a shout filled with worry.

Archer apologized to his master for scaring him before explaining what he saw: four buttons appeared on the massive door at shoulder height, each one labeled with one of the four first letters of the alphabet. Above the buttons appeared the following text in glowing yellow letters:

Puzzle 001
20/20 Picarats

Oh no! Someone took the money laying on the counter! There were four people there who could have committed the crime. These are their alibis:
A: B and C didn't commit the crime.
B: A and D didn't commit the crime.
C: A and B didn't commit the crime.
D: A and C didn't commit the crime.
Only one of these people is lying. Can you figure out who the thief is?

"Oh boy, it's a puzzle!" Archer happily shouted before he started to think hard about this challenge he faced.

"So it seems that this servant prevents people from entering with riddles. Hmm… perhaps this servant is famous for his trickster nature…" Tokiomi was thinking just as hard, the difference being that he was trying to figure out the enemy servant's identity. There was a lot of thinking among the pai-

"Got it!" Archer shouted out as he pressed one of the buttons on the door, corresponding with who he thought that the thief is.

Correct! You gained 20 Picarats! This message showed up on the door right before it opened.

"Aww yeah! I got 20 picarats!" Archer fistpumped, congratulating himself for overcoming this obstacle before moving inside the castle.

"Archer, what are these picarats you're talking about?"

"I have no idea, but I got twenty of them, and that's awesome!" Tokiomi facepalmed.

"Archer, back to topic, what does the inside look like?"

"Well, it's a massive entry hall… with a lot of doors! That's pretty much it. There are… 5…7…10 doors in total. I'm going to go through, ehm, this one!" Archer pointed to one entirely off to the side, a simple wooden door that looked very simple in design and had no obvious lock on it. Archer stepped to it, and grabbed the doorknob. No reaction. That should mean that this door has no puzzle guarding it.

Grabbing one of his short swords in one hand and the other hand on the knob, he swung the door open to find "A toilet?"

"Archer, we're not here to take a dump."

"I know, I know." Archer inspected the room. It was a small room, perhaps 2 square meters in total. There was a basic toilet, white in color, and it was surprisingly clean. Did the owner have some maids or has this Noble Phantasm some self-cleaning ability?

To the side was an air vent, probably to dampen the stinky smell Archer smells. A small wash cabin could be found on the side, and on the ground stood a small ice cream.

Wait…

"Ice Cream!" Archer moved to the ice cream, scooping it up from the ground.

"Don't touch that, Archer. It was on the floor in a stinky washroom. It's filthy!"

"But floor ice cream gives you health!" Archer protested. He took the ice cream to his mouth, and took a lick of i-

AMBUSH! Out of the ice cream a hidden puzzle jumped up!

Puzzle 022
30/30 picarats

An ice cream vendor sells ice cream for the following prices:
A cone costs 20 cents;
A scoop costs 90 cents;
I spent $7.50 to buy ice cream for myself and my friends. How many friends are at my side?

Archer only half-heartedly listened to the puzzle explanation. He still couldn't believe that his beloved ice cream betrayed him. His friend, who always gave him health points when he was low on it and tasted heavenly good left him puzzled! How could this happen?!

In sorrow Archer solved the puzzle. It took him somewhat longer than the previous one, but he still solved it on the first try.

"I solved the puzzle, master. Now shall we go somewhere where I can drown my sorrows? I really want to forget my old love…"

Tokiomi didn't like to see his servant act like that. To prevent that he made the following proposal: "If you stop whining now and start acting seriously, you will get hamburgers for dinner tonight." Tokiomi didn't like… no, that's too soft. Tokiomi despised that commoners' food, that fatty, soggy, dirty thing that should not be in the same category as true food! But if that thing is what Archer likes, then he is sure to exploit that fact to the underworld and back!

Archer straightened his body upon hearing the good news. "Sir yes Sir!" He marched out of the kitchen in a regulated tempo, acting like a real rank-and-file soldier. He marched through valleys, hills, over steep mountains, through the deepest cloves, all to get to the door 20 meter next to his starting point.

Archer touched the doorknob of this door, and another puzzle appeared:

Puzzle 007
80/80 picarats

A farmer was walking through his fields when he encountered an inhuman being. This being spoke to him: "That which is above you creates me, and that which is beneath you destroys me. What is in your hands both exhausts and insults me."

What does the man hold?

Several shapes of items appeared on the down on the door: From left to right they were: A sword, European-styled as opposed to the blade Saber wields; A wooden torch, lit ablaze and brightening the door; A hat, a beautiful and tall top hat with a red rim; The fourth is a small pottery, it's blue and white pattern suggesting that it is a piece of delftware; The last is a simple water bottle, filled to the brim with water.

All five were perfectly viable things to hold, but only one was the true answer.

As Archer read the puzzle and its answer aloud Tokiomi was thinking of the solution: "So, I think we first need to figure out what this inhuman being is. And what is above and beneath him."

…

"We have a lot to figure out, and this puzzle isn't easy at all…" Tokiomi sighed. He could solve the previous two, but this one was of a level many times higher than the previous two combined. Hmm… "Archer, did you figure it out already?"

"I have an inkling of a clue…" Tokiomi wasn't sure if they should follow it. It is, after all, a small hint… but it is also the only clue they had…

Tokiomi allowed Archer to act on his instinct.

Archer leaned to one of the answers and touched it.

Incorrect!

Gah! Archer realized that he was wrong as he saw the picarats that this puzzle was worth drop from 80 to 60 points.

"That wasn't it, Archer. What did you try?"

"Well, it was the only thing I thought that would both insult and exh-BLEGH!" Archer noticed that he was now spitting out blood, covering the lower half of his face as multiple droplets splattered on the floor. "What is… what is this?!"

Tokiomi got worried when he felt the sudden drop in prana in his servant. He asked Archer about his current status and the problem he was facing.

"I've… I've lost a quarter of my prana!" Archer's tone was fully of concern and fear, something Tokiomi didn't feel before. He was asking what the cause of it was and how they could prevent it. "Well… let's see, what else has been lowered by… a… quarter…" Archer realized it. The cause of his sudden loss of prana. "Answering the puzzle wrong makes me lose prana? Okay, I can accept that. But a quarter of my health for one wrong answer? That is way overpriced!" Archer was ranting some more about how he disliked this system, with subjects as "9.0 intensity" and "Smash Bros Trophy Shop prices" going completely over Tokiomi's head.

"Archer, calm down." An order that was definite, one that held almost the same authority as a command seal. Upon hearing it Archer calmed down and refocused, asking Tokiomi for his orders. "It's dangerous to keep on trying a puzzle we do not know the solution of, especially if that puzzle hurts you if you are wrong. Flee from the castle and return to the manor, Archer."

"Okay, time to return…" Archer stretched his wings, ready to take flight. "I only wish Tokiomi had some sort of heavenly light to instantly teleport me home after the mission is finished. It would be really usefu-" Archer slammed into some invisible wall, crashing headfirst on the ground. "What in Palutena's name? I can't escape!" Archer tried to get out, be he was stuck in some sort of box with walls he could not see nor break. "Does this mean I have to solve this puzzle? NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Both Archer and Tokiomi renewed their puzzle thinking, but they couldn't find an answer.

Was this it? Is this the end for Archer? Will he die from this horrible puzzle? You can find out in the part below!

---

In the Tohsaka meditation room Kirei woke up from a long rest. His servant was still sitting in some form of coma, so Kirei did as he was ordered: Don't leave the house and continue observing Assassin. Assassin hadn't moved… at all. Kirei's observations could be summarized as such. Following his stomach, Kirei went to kitchen to make himself a simple breakfast. Some sweet, some spice, and every other thing that people find nice, he combined it all while making sure not to break Tokiomi's flask containing special magical chemical X… which he broke anyways, spilling the content all over his breakfast! Because of this accident he did not get a good breakfast… but three different magical versions of Super Breakfast! Kirei took a taste from the first, some buttery cup thing, and a small bite from the second. He deemed both good enough to fill his stomach. Perhaps even too good, as he wasn't sure that he could eat all three.

So he had three plates of food, and he only needed two. He also had a servant that was currently in some sort of coma. Putting one and one together he decided to force-feed his servant this third platter. As he was walking back to his room he passed a very distressed mentor of his, who was sweating a lot while nervously walking through his living room.

"Is something the matter, sir?" Tokiomi looked at his pupil and explained the peril he currently found himself trapped in. He explained how the raid went, the puzzles they had already solved, and the puzzle that they were currently facing. Kirei thought about it, his calm mind rationally approaching the subject: "Hmm… those four things that the being is talking about: exhausting, creating, insulting, destroying… I think I know what these are, sir."

Tokiomi immediately set himself straight, and listened to Kirei with open ears.

"These represent the four Chinese elemental cycles: earth creates metal, metal creates water, which in turn creates wood. Wood creates fire, and to make the circle round again there is fire that creates earth. The exhausting cycle is the opposite, with Fire exhausting wood et cetera."

Tokiomi understood what he was saying now: "I see. So the others stand for the destructive and insulting cycle: earth destroys water, water destroys fire, fire destroys metal, metal destroys wood and wood destroys earth to make it round again. And the insulting cycle is the exact reverse of this cycle… so that is what these four words stand for."

"There was no need for you to explain this all to me, sir." Kirei responded in his usual monotone.

"I know, but Archer is most likely unfamiliar with all of this, so I decided to share this information with him." Kirei understood his mentor's intentions now, and silently returned to the sidelines, deeming it important to silently observe what would happen to Archer.

Back at the black castle was Archer, who finally managed to make something out of the puzzle: "So… if we assume that that being is this… then that would mean that that which insults and exhausts him is… this one!" Pressing one of the items, he waited for the answer:

Correct! You gained 60 picarats!

"Booya! Take that you overly difficult puzzle!" Archer swung the doors open, and saw to his amazement what was inside:

That hot temperature, the steam hanging in the air, the damp atmosphere… it all pointed to one thing: "It's… it's a hot spring! Whohoo!" Archer sprinted to the water and jumped in with a big splash. "Ah… I can already feel my health regenerating!" Archer sat in the water, relaxing, enjoying one of the greatest pleasures in life…

…until he felt something tap upon his shoulder. "How can I help you?" Archer asked as he turned to his side, and saw another man sitting there. This one was a man of average height and slender build, with no clothes around his body! Which actually makes a lot of sense, considering that this is a bath they're in. The only piece of clothing left was a tricorn hat atop his head and a white mask covering his eyes.

"Can you please move out of the bath? It's not hygienic with your clothes on, and… hang on, why are you even in my castle?"

"Well, I'm here because of my master's orders. And can I at least stay here until I regenerate my health?"

Rider stood up, angered, and threatened Archer that he would either flee from this castle or die inside of it. A thin rapier was summoned in Riders hands, with its tip pointed at the servant of the bow. Said servant scanned his opponent thoroughly and felt… utter defeat?

"You… y-you may have the longer one, but mine's thicker!" He summoned one half of his bow in his hand taking the form of a short sword, aimed at the enemy in response to his own threat. "And I'm sure I'm still more popular with the ladies!"

"I do not care about your excuses!" Rider became angered. "Leave now and never return, or you will find holes in your throat!"

Archer stood up, and moved toward the exit. "I get it, I get it. I'm only missing a few percent, I'm sure my master can heal them. See ya!" His wings shone purple, and he flew out of the castle, back to his master with his newfound knowledge.

Tokiomi slumped down in his favorite chair, relieved that his servant came out without scratches. Kirei noticed that the scouting was over and returned to his own servant, who as you could've guessed still did not move. He took the food of one of his plates, some sort of jelly-dough-thing, and stuffed Assassins mouth with it. He took the entre plate, and poured it all into Assassin before finishing his own.

He ate, but he felt no enjoyment. He could understand the flavors that were in it, the sweet and the salty, the sour and the bitter; But he could neither like nor dislike it. The only reason he ate was that if he didn't he would die. He found no joy in life. This food was the same as this war, the same as everything in his life: He would finish it, and hope that it will bring him joy and salvation. But it was nowhere to be found. His joy thus far did not exist. There was that… but no, he could not consider that evil as pleasure. A clergyman like himself could never accept it.

As Kirei was busy with the food he didn't notice that Assassin was slowly moving his body: first there were slight movements in the tinier parts of the body: fingers moved up and down, eyelids blinked, a few twitches here and there over the body. The legs soon gained solid grasp over the body, and Assassin stood up from the ground, now capable again of solid movement. Kirei did not expect his servant to stand up and fell over from surprise, landing on his back with a loud thud. He sat up, and looked at his servant who in return stared at him.

Assassin looked at his master seriously, and apologized for his unresponsiveness thus far. "Now then, upon your summoning I have come forth. I ask of you, are you my master?"

[February 4th, 12:20]

Kiritsugu woke up with a massive headache. His night sleep hadn't been that good, and he would actually like to sleep some more. He knew the risks of such an action. Spending long time in bed creates less time on the field, which means less time to gather information or kill enemy masters. It also increases the time enemies have to ambush him and Saber…

Stepping out of the bed, he went down to the kitchen hall for a few shots of caffeine. Kiritsugu had one rule for coffee: One mug of coffee equals one hour of missing sleep. He spent most of the night cleaning up all traces of his activity, which took him three hours. Because he was sure that the enemy would try to fight this "weak Saber with only one trick" at the castle he had to travel back to the estate that is surrounded by a sea of trees, forcing him to spend another three hours of precious time. He didn't sleep until it was four at night.

When he arrived in the kitchen he noticed Saber preparing brunch for herself and her master Kiritsugu. All dishes were simple things like sandwiches, grilled meat and cans of coffee, tea and juices, but the amount was large enough to last for multiple days.

"Did you rest well?" Saber asked to her master without looking away from her cooking. Kiritsugu took a few steps to his servant so he could watcher cook.

"No, not really. I saw your past." It was a past of many hardships: death, decay, deceit… it was a horrible life; one comparable with his own. Yet Kiritsugu noticed one major difference: the difference between one who fights alone and one who fights together. This dream taught him the pros and cons of teamwork. All in all, it was a good dream… at least until they showed up: "After that two people claiming to be Caster and her master showed up. We had a massive battle that included many weird techniques like massive bullet showers, which were countered by infinite Thompsons, which ma-"

"What?" Saber stopped her cooking, and looked at Kiritsugu with disbelief. What the hell was he talking about?

"Just remember that Caster might be able to attack you from your dreams, Saber. That's all."

"Ah." Saber returned to her cooking, and Kiritsugu took a can of coffee with him to the storage room.

Inside the storage room were half the equipment he was going to use in this war. Guns, explosives, blades, magazines; you name it, and as long as it is used by the military, he has it. Taking some of his coffee, he started with maintaining his high-priority guns. It took him around an hour, but he managed to perform maintenance checks on all of them. Now he had to make sure that all his blade were sharp, especially his conceale-

"Ringring! Ringring!" Kiritsugu stuck a hand in his pocket, and found his cellphone ringing. That could only mean two things: Irisviel is in trouble or Maiya is in trouble. Quickly answering the phone, he listened to whatever these two ladies had to say.

"Kiri, there's an enemy at the gate!" Shit. His gut feeling was right: the enemy would decide to fight Saber. He quickly calmed down Irisviel and ordered her to determine who the master is. "It's a man in a blue hoodie and jeans, entirely covering his face." That rules out Tohsaka, El-Melloi and Kotomine. "He's 170 centimeters tall, and of normal build." That leaves the Matou or the unknown servant. He personally hoped the former, because that was an Ad Hoc magus without skills, and that made him a much easier target. If it w- "He's also waving a white flag." Kiritsugu flinched a bit, before realizing that his preparations might not be necessary.

"Ask him what he wants, Iri." He heard some murmur through the phone, like Irisviel was talking to someone else. "It's Kariya Matou, and he wants to form an alliance. What should we do?" He had to think about this. The question that was raised in his head is the 'Why?'. Why does he want to form an alliance?

Two answers were likely: The first was that he underestimated Saber. He had seen that Lancer mercilessly pounded Saber, and only lost because Saber tricked him to death. This would actually be very welcome, giving him an ally and an advantage against one of the enemy servants. The second option is that Kariya has a counter to Saber's Noble Phantasm. And that would be troublesome.

This meant that he would gain a massive boon for this war, or he would spell his own doom.

Eventually Kiritsugu decided to let him in. If the deal was good for him, than that would be great. If the deal was bad, he would probably kill him on home territory.

One of the cars near the house was sent to the pair at the gates, taking around two hours to both go to the gate and return with the master-servant pair. Arriving at the orchard, it was another one hour walk for them to reach the Castle entrance.

Kiritsugu managed to prepare many traps, just in case, in this span of time. He was quite sure that no matter what the enemy was going to throw at him, he would manage to come out on top.

Ordering Irisviel and Saber to meet the enemy, he took Maiya and went to the surveillance room to observe.

The opposing pair finally entered the hallway of the castle. Both were hooded, the master in a blue hoodie and the servant in a black coat. Their faces were difficult to see, but they let slip that they were Kariya Matou and Berserker during the car drive.

From the top of the staircase descended Irisviel and Saber, the former in her usual gown and the later in her standard combat attire.

"Greeting, representative of the Matou. Why did you honor us with your presence?" Irisviel asked in a sweet yet formal tone, fitting for the heir of a long line of noble magi.

"Please, call me Kariya, miss." Even though Kariya tries to sound normal and polite he fails, for his voice is ragged and his face betrayed the great pains he is going through. "I want to make an alliance with you, Master of Saber!"

"In that case please call me Irisviel, Kariya. Come inside." Gesturing Kariya to follow her, Irisviel guides everyone to the dinner hall, where a variety of different drinks and pastures were displayed. "Please take something to recover from your journey." Irisviel offered all this food as she herself took a strawberry cheesecake with some tea and her servant who took a meat pastry with black coffee.

Kariya took a small chocolate pastry and some water, while his servant simply stood there and took nothing. "I thank you for this, Irisviel, but we are not here to enjoy food. Can we please discuss the terms of our alliance?"

Irisviel understood, and led him to a small sitting corner near the food. "Please sit down, Kariya." Both parties sat down, Irisviel and Saber on one side and Kariya with his servant on the other.

Kariya introduced himself and explained that he summoned Berserker. "I want to get straight to the point: I want to make an alliance with you, that for my part can last until the very end of the war."

Irisviel expressed her interest, but also wanted to know the terms he had, what special abilities he brought to the table and how deep this alliance goes.

"I want a very deep alliance, one that does not move even as the wind sways around. For what my servant is capable of… well, he's Berserker. He hits things really hard, he can take a lot of punishment, and is quick on his feet too. He should make up for the relatively low stats of your own servant, miss Irisviel." Kariya quickly noticed how his words could be implied, and offered his apologies, not wanting to insult Saber.

"None taken." Saber monotonously replied. Irisviel took the lead back, and asked Kariya what he wanted out of this alliance.

"I have two things I want:" Kariya took out a small pill from his jacket, and swallowed it with his water. On cue his servant who silently stood behind him astralized to lower the prana cost on Kariya. "This pill is to temporarily jam the worms inside my body so my gramps cannot hear us. You see, he performs horrible things upon both me and my niece Sakura, torturing us for his own sick amusement. I entered this war to save Sakura, and that can only happen if Zouken is dead. There are two ways for this to happen: Use the grail to kill him or use a servant to kill him for good. However, neither I nor my servant have the means to permanently kill him because of his regenerative abilities."

"So this is where we come in, Kariya?" Irisviel asked with her usual angelic smile. She would make sure to come off as a charismatic master who honorably led this slightly less honorable Saber into battle, one who acted as Saber's voice of reason.

"Exactly. Your servant has a Noble phantasm that instantly kills whatever it cuts. If you use that on Zouken…"

"…He will die, and you and Sakura will be freed."

"Indeed. I will lose my wish for the grail, meaning that if Saber and Berserker are the only ones left they can duke it out for which servant will get the Grail while you will get the Grail no matter which of these servants wins, Irisviel. It would improve your chance of getting the grail to at least a third, if not more!"

"I must say that it is an interesting deal you offer me. Is this the entire deal, or is there some other term you haven't mentioned yet?"

Kariya scratched himself behind his back, a sign that there was something else, something more negative would come out of the mouth of the master of Berserker: "Well, not much of a term, but more of a piece of strategic advisement. You know that the master of Archer, Tokiomi Tohsaka, is most likely allied with Kotomine Kirei?" Irisviel and Saber both nodded, having been informed of this a few days ago by Kiritsugu. "That means that they are the other party with 2 servants. It is in our utmost interest if we break these two up, for which my preference goes out to killing Archer. There is some bad blood between me and Tokiomi, so I want to have him out of the Grail War so I can knock some sense in him. That is all."

Kariya looked at his hopefully soon-to-be allies, who were deep in thought, pondering over this alliance.

Or at least they made it look like it. Irisviel was faking it while Saber was communicating with Kiritsugu to determine the best course of action: "What do you think, master?"

"Hmm…it is a tempting deal, and considering our current status an alliance is a great help. But there feels something off about this…" Saber agreed. There was something off about this deal.

"But I don't know the exact problem. What could my instinct be telling me?"

"I think that the main problem is with the two offering the alliance: These are a mad servant and a master who should be so much in pain that rational thought should be nearly impossible. However, they come up with a very complicated and well-thought out plan. Doesn't that sound odd?"

"Should we kill them?" Saber offered to her master. Saber was healed now, and they had the location of battle in their favor. While Berserker might pose some problem Kiritsugu was sure that Kariya would easily die from a few well-placed gun rounds. However…

"If we kill them right here right now we will most likely be seen as such scum by our enemy that the other four will band against us, and that would be suicide. Killing them will only lead in mutual destruction. If they even thought that out then I am completely sure that someone else is helping them out as their brains."

"We lack enough info on them. We have to decide now whether or not we want ally with them."

"Ally with them, at least until we manage to break up the Tohsaka alliance. However, stay wary of them; they most likely have some trick up their sleeve against you."

"Very well. I'll commence the alliance now." Saber pulled herself out of her dreams, and faced Kariya. "I have no problems with working together, at least until Archer has been slain. If the moment arrives I will strike down this Zouken as well, as long as I am given information about who he is and what abilities he has other than his regeneration."

Irisviel acted like she went along with her servant, and offered an alliance in exchange for more info on the worm-man.

"Of course I will!" Kariya face lifted up, a happy innocent smile naturally shining on his face. "But we have to hurry. The worm suppressant doesn't last long. Now about Zouken…"

Kariya explained everything he could about Zouken, and afterwards both masters shook hands to settle the team-up. The duo walked out of the house, discussing where and when they would strike, making up battle plans for the future.

They eventually arrived at the gate, where a car stood to bring Kariya and his servant back. They thanked for the visit, and left for their own home. Irisviel regrouped with her servant, and spoke when the other two were out of hearing range.

"Saber, seems like we have a new friend at our side."

"It seems so. When do we betray them?"

"If I know Kiritsugu… probably when a good moment arrives." The two women walked inside, ready to adapt themselves to the new changes in the grail war…

---

Is Lancer really dead now? He won't come back? And do we get Lancer's stat sheet?

Yes, Yes, and Yes again. For the latter, look down below.

How the hell was Lancer able to do those awesome things? Heck, how did he even survive Saber's Noble Phantasm?
Just look at Lancer's stat sheet and you will understand.

What happened to Rider's plans?
They will happen. Later. You'll see. Really. They will happen. Probably.

Did Uryu just go on the Chaos path full Megaten style?
Yeah, he's pretty much going down that road. I wonder which demons he will summon, but I have a feeling that he will eventually summon Angra Mainyu. He seems… very fitting…
Also, for those wanting to see the Uryu + Caster vs. Kiritsugu fight, perhaps I will write it later in a bonus chapter. If I added it then this chapter would be way too long.

Why are you writing this? Is it because o-
Let me step right in and give you a big NO, because I got the idea before I even knew other Massive Crossovers existed. To be honest, basing your work on another fanfic writer will just create a rehash of the first fanfic. For every type of written fiction, certain rules need to be considered (Not followed to the letter!): Detective stories have the Knox Ten Commandments, and Fate/X-Over fanfics have the same type of rules too. Because nobody has written them down, I will do that down here so you will become a better Fate/Fanfic writer… It's not like I want people to name them "Flaga's Ten Commandments or something", that's totally not why I'm doing this, Baka!

1: Keeping one of the original servants in their class is perfectly acceptable. However, keeping Saber has been done to hell and back; Gilgamesh or EMIYA (for F/SN) are also slightly used, but still acceptable. It will even help you, as most heroes use swords, giving you an easier time picking a fresh one.
2: Differentiate. Different Servants mean different courses of action, and that brings along a timeline of new events. Keeping some early things like the dock battle is acceptable. Things like the Banquet of Kings won't happen with alternate servants, no matter how awesome it was.
3: Fate/Zero is dark and gritty. Death is common in this universe, so the number of deaths among Masters/Servants/important secondary characters should equal at least 12 (original number of deaths minus 3). Of these deaths at least two morally good non-servant characters should die (Waver/Kariya/Rin/Sakura/Irisviel/Aoi). Fate/Stay Night is more light-hearted, and allows for more people to survive, leaving you with more choice in who will survive and who will not. If you write a humorous version of Fate/Zero, forget this rule.
4: Servants cannot kill their own Masters. Command seals prevent that. Even if their master is a murderous Uryu or some magus that has only been created for the sake of summoning an interesting servant, they still cannot kill their own masters. They can trick their masters into wasting their 3 command seals, turning them into non-masters which allows the servant to kill them, but they cannot kill their own masters.
5: The Grail War is created so that only 7 servants will come into existence. At worst there is room for one bonus servant, but a total of 9 servants of more will only increase the difficulty for the readers to keep up with the story. Keep it at seven or eight.
6: It is incredibly uncommon for a servant to reincarnate like Gilgamesh did, and most would return to the Throne after fulfilling their wish. The only reason a Servant could survive is if they wanted to reincarnate/had to do it to get their wish fulfilled. More than one servant surviving like this is downright impossible.
7: If a servant survives without the blessing/curse of the Grail, than the prana drain on the master will be large enough that even F/SN Rin would be robbed of most of her prana just to sustain it. Someone like Kiritsugu would be unable to sustain a servant without permanent body damage.
8: Give each Master and each Servant equal amounts of attention. It shouldn't be clear from the start who is liked or non-liked by the Author, because liked characters have a higher chance of surviving/coming far than non-liked characters, making the story predictable.
9: A character is allowed to lampshade certain events or lean on the Fourth Wall on occasion. However, this may not be his only trait or even his defining trait. Character who only notice bad narrative devices of the writer are bad themselves.
10: No references to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That subject had been done to death already. References to other Monty Python works are fine, though.

---

Name: Sanada Nobushige Yukimura

Class: Lancer
Master: Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Sex: Male
Series of Origin: Sengoku Basara

STR: A+
END: A
AGI: B+
MGI: C
LUC: E
NP: B

Legend:
Born as the second son of Sanada Masayuki, he grew up under the banner of the Takeda army. Showing great promise as a warrior, he quickly became a general under his lord Takeda Shingen, to whom he is frantically loyal. He was considered naïve by many of his allies, and needed to be directed in battle often to make him useful. He finds a great rival in Date Masamune, lord of Oshu, who he fights time and again to see who is the better fighter of the two.
In battle, he has fought and defeated many great adversaries, and played a big role in the fall of the Oda and the Mori. Battle after battle he fought, some harsh, some easy, but he fought them valiantly and with honor. He is one of the warriors who fought all main regimes of the warring states period, and after a long life of battle died on the battlefield against Tokugawa Ieyasu's army. Heavily outnumbered and having fought to his limit, he let the enemy take his head, claiming that: "I am Sanada Nobushige Yukimura, no doubt an adversary quite worthy of you, but my flames are exhausted and I can fight no longer. Go on, take my head as your trophy." His head was cut off, the only regret in his life being that he couldn't fight for his people anymore now that he's dead.

Tactics:
Lancer's fighting style is full frontal: One-on-one combat, with no tricks or cheating involved. He is naïve to a fault, and believes that honor on the battlefield in the most important factor in a fight. Because of the low number of opponents, he believes that the Holy Grail War is at best a string of duels, and considerers the usual army tactics he and his master Takeda Shingen use not necessary for such a small number of opponents.
He has great respect for enemies that will duel him in honorable combat, and is prejudiced against the sneaky Assassin. If he could've designed the Grail war, he would've replaced that class with some sort of bare fisted Brawler.

Class Skills:

Magic resistance: C
Yukimura Sanada has a magic resistance of Rank C. Aria of two verses and below are cancelled, but beyond that (High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals) cannot even be defended against. However, Yukimura's speed is high enough to prevent the opponent from using such magic, let alone hit him. This makes his Magic Resistance sufficient for any battle.

Personal skills:

Battle Continuation: A
The strength of vitality in predicaments. Even when inflicted with deadly injuries, he can still fight for somewhat longer. Decisive fatal strikes will still kill the user, although there is a small possibility that he remains alive for a little longer. Effects stack with his Noble Phantasm "Rule of Cool".

Bravery: A++
Negates mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. At this level it almost borders recklessness. Significant bonus to inflicted melee damage, but lowers defense.

Duelist: A
The ability to fight honorably in duels. When activated, both Yukimura and his opponent gain a rank up in STR, END and AGI; Yukimura also gains the skill Instinct at rank B, which allows him to "feel" the best course of action during combat. This skill can only be activated when both sides have an equal number of warriors. Both parties can only flee if they're ordered to do so by someone of a higher position than them, like their masters.

Resistance from Fire: EX
Due to considering himself a burning soul, Lancer cannot be hurt by any sort of fire elemental damage. As long as the fire that attacks him burns less bright than his own soul, he can use the enemy flames to power himself up.

Noble Phantasm:

Rule of Cool: Flames of the Burning Soul
Rank: B
Type: Anti-Whatever it needs to be
Range: As far as necessary
Maximum targets: As many as need to be defeated

Yukimura's Noble Phantasm, based on his hot-blooded burning soul. Incurs a rank-up in all stats, and embodies his tridents in burning flames. These flames are neither physical nor magical, so it ignores both physical and magic defense. Gives him access to the skills "Prana Burst (Flames): A", "Rule of Cool: EX" and "Way of the Samurai: -"

Prana Burst (Flames): Allows him to increase his performance by infusing himself with burning prana and instantly expelling it. Increase either defense, agility or attack several times, depending on how it is used.

Rule of Cool: All events that are "impossible" become "possible to realize" as long as the owner of the skill makes it look awesome enough.

Way of the Samurai: Grants him all the fighting skills he knew during life. All these are skills the likes of Tsubame Gaeshi, active skills that have to be activated by saying their name. These cannot be ranked by the system, as there is no weaker or stronger version of these skills.

Author's Advice:
Lancer would function like your average Atlus RPG character: Max out a single active skill, and spend the rest of your skill points on stat increases like STR UP, END UP, AGI UP etc. Out of all the servants in the Grail War Lancer has the highest total possible stats by FAR, considering that almost all his personal skills and even his noble phantasm are massive stat boosts. He has a high DPS output, but lacks any true instantly devastating attacks like Excalibur, Caladbolg or Ea, meaning that he only shines in drawn-out combat. His second weakness is his lack of true compatibility against opponents, making him effective against most, but super effective to almost none.
Compatibility advantages: Opponents weak to fire, warriors who like to draw fights out.
Compatibility disadvantages: Opponents with OHKO NPs, Defensive NPs that block normal attacks.