Hooray for flashbacks to My English Love Affair.

Ironic that the chapter is set 4 months in the past & it is chapter 4 lol

Disclaimer: I don't own R5 , The Vamps or the song "Just One Yesterday" by Fall Out Boy, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI/Universal & Island Records!

Chapter 4
4 Months Earlier

James sighed heavily, walking into the practice room where he got the attention of Tristan and Connor. They both turned to him, Connor sighed and Tristan rolled his eyes – knowing what that meant.

After they left the USA, the day after Ross and Brad broke up, things kind of took a depressing turn for everyone. Barely anybody was happy any more because Rydel, Ellington, Rocky, Riker and Ryland were trying to make Ross happy and cheer him up about the whole thing as he still felt guilty and heartbroken over the same thing, and that made them unhappy. Tristan, Connor and James were doing pretty much the exact same, except James a little bit less because he and Brad still weren't talking as much.

But you know when it got out about Ross and Brad, and then Brad slowly started going downhill where he wouldn't do anything any more, he wouldn't smile, he'd either be unhappy or cry and then he started making himself sick? Yeah. That got worse for him ever since they broke up. In the past week it's become a daily thing.

It was clear to everyone how miserable the pair were without each other, even the fans could tell when word got out about them breaking up. Sure some were happy they did, some were sad and some weren't bothered. But they did notice and started to feel bad and sorry for them both. Everyone basically felt sorry for them both.

The worst thing about it for Ross is that he had nobody he felt comfortable talking to any more to let it all off his chest about what he was feeling. That person was Laura and now he can't talk to her about this whole thing because she's dead. Well, he can talk to her but she won't respond. Gravestones can't talk. It seems ever since Ross and Brad broke up he had been paying more visits to Laura's grave. One week he went every day. Now he goes every other day.

Tristan shook his head "I'm sorry but, he needs help," Tristan said, not really wanting to admit it but Connor and James agreed with him in some way "he can't keep doing this to himself! And he's doing it because of that fucking ass hole!" he said, raising his voice and getting frustrated.

"Calm down Tristan," Connor said quietly, and holding a sleeping Tyler at the same time "you don't want Brad to hear you and Tyler's asleep. So shush."

"Sorry," Tristan lowered his voice.

"We can't help it," James said, talking at a quiet level so Brad couldn't hear them from the next room "he's just... depressed, or something like that. Why else would he be acting this way all the time?" James asked "I think we need to at least try and help him. Or take him to the hospital. Maybe they can help him."

"That sounds like a good idea... but I don't think hospital's help with depression, James." Connor said, sitting down on a chair with Tyler.

James shrugged "Well, it's not just depression. Especially if he's harming himself. I mean, I know it's not cutting self-harm, but still. He won't go out any more, he keeps making himself sick because he won't eat anything as well as drink. All he wants to do is lay in bed all the time." he said, sounding frustrated. He was really frustrated at how his best friend wasn't acting like his best friend any more.

It was like he was a completely different person.

Tristan rubbed his hands together slowly "Well, I was talking to Natalie the other day," Tristan said, Natalie is Brad's older sister "and... she doesn't like how he's treating himself, and she said the same thing as you, James. I think his parents agreed too. They said something about booking him an appointment at the hospital today, but he refused to go. Hence why he's here. He shouldn't be here right now."

Connor scoffed "Then force him. He's not helping himself. He needs to get better. Especially when we go back to America with all the travelling. Not to mention where R5 is well known, so no doubt he will probably see his face every where he turns and that'll make him worse."

Tristan turned to James "You take him," Tristan said, James raised his eye brows at him "you're the strongest out of us all, and lets face it, it doesn't take a lot to grab Brad and carry him does it?" he asked, James shook his head "besides, I think it's time you two got back into talking as best friends again."

As James went to go protest about that, Brad walked into the practice room looking like hell as usual. He went to go over to his guitar, but Tristan stopped him. "Hey," Tristan said, getting in his way and putting his hands on his shoulder's "um... a little birdy told me you have to be somewhere today."

Brad shook his head, being confused "No I don't..."

"Don't lie."

Brad sighed and rolled his eyes "I'm fine. I'm not depressed!" he said loudly, pushing Tristan out of his way. He knew that they weren't saying he was depressed, but they were thinking it. Why else would they want him to go to the hospital for? He is not depressed.

"Look, Brad," Tristan said, grabbing hold of him gently "it's not that you're depressed, it's just... the way you're treating yourself. We're worried. It's not right. It's not... you. And we're not saying it's over Ross, but ever since people found out about you both dating—well, when you dated – you started acting like this too. I mean... it's been a month now, maybe a little bit longer... this 'depression' should have only lasted a week or so."

"I'm. Not. Depressed." Brad protested, snapping. He was really fed up of people assuming this. Yes, he felt down, sadder and sicker when he and Ross broke up – but it doesn't mean he's depressed. It's not like he's in the corner of the room sawing his wrists off with a blade. He's just not motivated to do stuff recently.

Tristan rolled his eyes "Enough, Brad. James is taking you to the hospital – and I don't care if you have any sort of protests, you're going. Not for yourself, but for us, your sister and your parents because they're worried about you too," Tristan sighed "please? We just want to see the old you again..." he said sadly.

Brad looked down a little bit, feeling sadder himself. He looked back at Tristan and nodded with a small smile "Alright."

James slid on his coat and took out his car keys "Right then, lets go." he motioned for the door.

Brad glanced over to him and to Tristan before making his way over to the door. Tristan and Connor both watched as they left together, hoping inside that not only that this might help Brad but they both might actually come back as friends again.

"I'm starting to sense that it was a little bit more than just depression..." Sally said, being suspicious yet stumped because she couldn't think of what else it could be "I'm not sure what though."

"Yeah... We're er... We're getting to that bit. Just hold on."

Brad and James sat in the nurses office, waiting for the nurse to get back, in complete silence after Brad had some tests done with blood and other things as they were trying to find out what was wrong with him. Some of the things the nurse did to him confused James as they're not the type of things you would do to a person in his state... And he can't put his finger on why.

Brad sat on the bed whilst James sat in the chair next to it, looking at him sort of sadly and Brad jumped slightly when he noticed James staring at him. He looked away after which made James sigh "Please smile for god sake, I hate seeing you sad."

"I'm not—alright, I'm sad. Yes. Very sad. But I'm not depressed, I just wish everyone would stop saying that."

"Why are you so sad for?" James asked.

Brad shrugged, looking down and playing with his hands "I don't know... Heartbreak? Being ill? A mix of both?"

James frowned a little "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. If it wasn't for me being a stupid drunk you'd still be with him. You wouldn't be in this place right now, we'd be at band practice where you would be happy and probably be annoying us because you'd more than likely be texting or calling him."

That made Brad laugh softly and form some sort of smile on his face which immediately dropped after a few seconds "I guess... But honestly, don't worry about it. We both have just as much to blame for all this. Ross too."

James nodded "Friends again?"

"When did we stop?"

James got up from where he sat in his chair and gave Brad a quick hug as the nurse walked through the door, dragging with her what looked like an ultrasound machine. James quickly pulled away and sat back down. Brad turned his head to the nurse who looked full of sympathy and fright along with a piece of paper in her hands "Oh please don't tell me it's as bad as your face is telling me..." Brad said, becoming full of dread "I thought I was fine and everyone was being paranoid!"

"Erm... No it's definitely something." The nurse said, not being sure how to put it into words. She knows how to put it into words just... She's never had to say it to the likes of Brad, which should be interesting when she does find the way to say it to him.

Brad noticed the machine she dragged in "Why have you brought that? Have I got something stuck inside my stomach or something?" Brad asked, knowing that ultrasound machines are also used for hearts and finding things that may be stuck in your body other than just pregnancies.

"Y-you could say so..."

Brad groaned "Oh my, God, how bad is it? Am I dying?"

The nurse shook her had "Nope... Definitely not dying." She said, still trying to find the right words.

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?" Brad asked.

"It depends... er... How do you feel about um... being a Dad..?" She asked, not sure if that was the right way to tell him.

Brad shrugged, not seeing the relevance in this and became thoughtful for a moment "It's not really something I've thought about—why?" Brad asked, suddenly realising what the question was the nurse had asked.

"Because er... there's no easy way to put this, but erm... it appears that you're um... You're... Pregnant."

"Fuck off, no I'm not!"

"Brad!" James shrieked at him for being rude. He knows that it was at disbelief at what the nurse had just told Brad but there was no need to be like that.

Brad turned to James "Oh come on, this has to be some sort of practical joke. How can I be pregnant? I'm a boy! I know that, you know that from the many times you forgot how to knock on my hotel and bedroom door," Brad said, making James shut his eyes in disbelief he had said that out loud in front of someone "Besides, if guys can all of a sudden get pregnant, then why aren't you?" He asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because I've never had sex with a boy before?" James said.

Brad rolled his eyes "Alright, if we're going down that road, why isn't Ross?"

James stared at Brad, blinking a few times as he couldn't believe he actually asked that question to be answered when he should know the answer better than anybody else "I think we all know why that is, Brad..."

"Go on, why?"

James raised his brow "Do you really want me to answer that in front of someone?"

"I wouldn't be asking otherwise."

"Do you Brad? Do you really?"

Brad looked at James for a moment, thinking about it and his eyes widened "Oh... no! No! Don't do that!" He said, looking back at the nurse afterwards and James smiled in some sort of satisfaction and relief.

"Look, it could be wrong—" The nurse said.

"You think?" Brad said, cutting her off.

"I'm going to run an ultrasound, alright, just to make sure if it is true or that it's not. And... I don't mean to scare you, but... there is a very high chance that I'm not wrong." She said, then going to set up the ultrasound.

Sally looked at James, thinking long and hard "I'm trying to figure out if this is some sort of practical joke the three of you have set up..."

"No it's not I swear!"

"Really? Is he pregnant? Or was rather—wait, if he is pregnant... That was four months ago... He should be showing a little... What the hell happened? Or is he just one of those people who gains the baby weight at last second?" Sally asked, confused.

"Will you be patient and wait till I get to that part!"

The two boys were still in the nurses office where she was rolling the wand from the ultrasound machine around on Brad's stomach to find the "baby" and had been for the past few minutes, which was making it nerve wrecking for both Brad and James. "I'm sensing I'm not cos you would have found it by now, right?" Brad asked.

The nurse hushed him. Brad turned his head to James who noticed the look upon his friends face which told him that he was very scared about what the answer was going to be. On one hand he wants to believe he's not as he's pretty sure that it's impossible for men to get pregnant, but on the other it would make sense due to the way he's been acting. After all, if he was a girl it would have been the first question asked and the first assumption.

"It's alright, it'll be fine..." James said, trying to reassure and comfort him.

Instead of feeling the wand move around, Brad felt it stop in one place. "I don't wanna look..." He said, keeping his eyes fixed on James'.

James looked over to the screen where the nurse was pointing to it where there was a small dot and his face fell, more in surprise as he did genuinely think the nurse had got it all wrong. But no. He looked at Brad, not being able to find the right words to say to him other than: "I'm so sorry..."

Brad slowly turned his head to the ultrasound machine where he seen where the nurse was pointing to. "You see that small dot right there? That's your baby..."

Sally's mouth dropped open, being completely taken back "Oh my, God... This makes so much sense now... But... He's fine now! He's not showing or anything! How the hell is he hiding it?" Sally asked.

James let out a small laugh "That's the thing... He's not any more."

Sally furrowed her brow before she gasped "Oh my, God! Did he have an abortion?! That sick bitch! I'll teach him a lesson about destroying a life that's barely begun!" Sally said, raising her voice as she stood up from the bed.

James grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back down onto the bed "He didn't have an abortion, Sally! Calm down."

"Then what the hell happ—oh my, god, no way..."

"Yeah way..."

Brad and James were still in the nurses office, getting ready to leave so that they could get back to practice with Connor and Tristan, even though after their little discovery they were nowhere near in the mood to go back. "Listen, you do have options you know," The nurse said, grabbing both of the boys' attention "there's adoption or there's abortion—"

"Um, no thanks," James said, cutting her off "let him think first, don't put ideas into his head."

Brad turned to James "Excuse me? Is this your baby?"

"Excuse me? Are you really that heartless?"

"N-no..."

"Exactly."

They both went to go leave when the nurse stopped them again "Here. I figured you might want this... Everyone usually does..." She said, handing something to Brad. He looked down at what she had handed him and seen that it was the ultrasound of the baby and he didn't know what to feel, all he could do was stare at it. "I know you're scared to death, more than ever but I want to let you know that you're not the only person in the world that this has happened to."

"I'm not?" Brad asked, feeling slightly more relieved, but not fully because them people were obviously not in a worldwide famous band and could probably hide the pregnancy better than Brad will be able to.

The nurse shook her head "It's a very rare thing. It's called Persistent Müllerian Duct Syndrome where a male is born with external male genitalia and an internal functioning female reproductive organs. Long story short. It's a birth defect, I'm surprised it wasn't picked up when you were born."

Brad nodded "Alright, thanks."

"Come on. We better go, thank you." James said, letting Brad out the door and looking at the nurse one last time as he left.

Next: Meant To Be

Thoughts on Brad (in the flashback obvs)?

Thoughts on James (in & out of the flashbacks)?

Thoughts on Brad & James ?

Thoughts on the Rad baby?

Thoughts on Sally?

Thoughts on Sally & James?

Favourite moment?

Funniest moment?

Thoughts on the name of the next chapter? What do you thinks gonna happen?