Chapter 4 – Crackastic Fashions
Summary: In which we're treated to all manners of outfits.
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…
A/N: 4th chapter is finally here desu~ And yeah Torataro, you were right, Byakuran's Mukuro's opponent XD. Daemon Spade's one of the designers for Byakuran's outfit. And to answer your question, the 2 fics on hiatus are "The End of KHR" and "Amore, amore". I know, you reviewed the second one but I really just can't seem to update that one T_T. Gomenosai! I'll try updating tomorrow. I know I have no excuse, and your half-finished chapter is still sitting in my thumbdrive. T_T. Oh, and I used that word "Cracktastic" of yours in your review for my chapter title. I hope you don't mind. It was a really good word, I loved it XD. (all copyrights belong to you :3) TheNeoProductions, your review says that you're actually a set of… twins? And that you're a boy and a girl? (I checked your profile. So, which one of you guys is reading? NeoGio or NeoRika? O:) So I used that in my fic. Gomen if I'm mistaken or something.
I picked my way carefully through the auditorium " 'Scuse me, 'scuse me, thank you." I said, before finding my seat and plonking myself in it. I turned to see Torataro seated beside me.
"Hey Torataro." I greeted her.
"Hi." She mumbled before turning away and muttering herself "An axe, a sword, a jar of blood, mix it all up…"
"Whaaaa?" I said.
Torataro ignored me and continued mumbling "Add a pinch of salt and rub it with a pound of human flesh, grind some knucklebones into it and teeth…"
I was about to call for security when someone beside me said "Hi, Lillian."
I spun around. "Oh. Hey NeoGio. Where's NeoRika?"
"Oh, she'll be coming soon." NeoGio said airily.
"Hm, so you guys are judging too?" I asked.
"Yup." NeoGio and Torataro chorused together.
I bet there's a lot of question marks floating around your head right now.
You see, a couple of days back I received an email telling me that I was a judge for the fashion show. I thought it was a hoax but then another email dropped into my inbox saying "THIS IS NOT A HOAX, LILLIAN."
I was like "wtf?" and then a third email arrived, saying "Courtesy of Reborn."
I spent the rest of the with an imprint of my hand on my face, the result of a very painful self-inflicted facepalm.
So now here I was, sitting between Torataro and the Neo twins, as NeoRika had just arrived.
The lights dimmed. The MC walked on stage. I prepared to program my therapist into my phone's speed-dial.
The MC (Reborn. Surprise, surprise.) announced loudly: "Let the fashion show begin!"
The audience cheered.
"First up, we have Team 1, comprising of Kyoko, Haru, Chrome, I-pin, Bianchi and Nana! And their model is… (drumroll, please!) Rokudo Mukuro!"
I programmed my speed-dial. And then Mukuro walked on stage.
He was wearing some sort of Marilyn Monroe dress.
My mouth fell open. I wasn't sure how to grade this. NeoGio and NeoRika were swapping number placards frantically, unsure to give a 6, 7 or 0. Torataro was clutching a wrench, and looking threateningly at Mukuro's kneecaps.
And then the air-conditioner merrily decided to give an extra-powerful gust (I cursed it afterwards. That AC was evil, I tell you!) and Mukuro's skirt flew up, giving the world a full view of his… knickers. (Read: pineapple-patterned boxers.)
Half the audience fainted. The other half started rioting.
And then Mukuro collapsed. (I learnt later that Mukuro's intestine had, in a desperate bid to save humanity, leapt up his neck and throttled his brain.)
I immediately raised a "10". Torataro waved her wrench (we later counted it as "1") and the Neo twins raised a "0".
Reborn stepped up again with "EVIL" written all over his face. "Team 1 gets 11 points out of 30. Let's give them a round of applause!"
Cue cricket chirping.
"Next up, is Team 2, comprising of Daemon, Lampo, Lambo, Skull and Mammon! And their model is… Byakuran!"
Oh, shit was the single unanimous thought of the audience and the judges.
Torataro had produced a hammer this time, and she was knocking it on the table ominously. I reached out and tried to wrestle it out of her hands when Byakuran stepped out.
…What the heck was he wearing? I stopped trying to grab the hammer from Torataro in astonishment. Byakuran looked like he was wearing some kind of large white beanbag with… fox ears?
NeoRika tapped her reed mike and said "Ahem… Byakuran, please explain your costume."
Byakuran cheerfully replied "I'm a Kitsune-marshmallow!"
Silence.
"Ahem… you may go now, Byakuran." NeoGio came to NeoRika's rescue.
Reborn walked back onto the stage. "Well now, judges, those were the 2 teams that entered the fashion show. So, please cast your points for Byakuran."
I wearily raised a "6". Torataro waved her hammer (That's counted as 2. Don't ask me why. I'm just randomly making this up.) and the Neo twins waved a "5".
"Well, that means Mukuro gets 11 points, and Byakuran gets 13 points." Reborn announced.
A shout was heard from behind the curtain. "Kufufufu… shouldn't I be the winner?" Mukuro had magically appeared beside Reborn.
"Well, ask the judges." Reborn smirked evilly in our direction. Uh oh we thought.
Mukuro was about to plunge towards us when Byakuran came charging out of the curtains. "Mukuro! Don't steal my fame and glory!" he squealed.
"Kufufufu… what fame and glory?" Mukuro asked innocently, twirling his spear that had (yes, magically) appeared in his hand.
"No, Mukuro! The winner shall be me!" Byakuran shrilled, diving towards Mukuro.
And that was when Reborn threw a banana peel at Byakuran's feet, causing Byakuran to slip and fall off the stage. Unfortunately, he dragged Mukuro down with him.
Oh, shit the audience and the judges thought the second time as they dived for cover from the incoming giant Kitsune-marshmallow and Pineapple-Marilyn Monroe.
A/N: Well, that was remarkably stupid. As usual. Crackcrackcrack. Crackity crack crack. Lol, Torataro, I made you out to be some sort of demented axe-murderer. XD. Gomen!
Reviews anyone? Tell me if you appreciate my crack. :3. I write refined crack, after all. :D.