Shortly after eating, my parents parted ways with Kariss and I. Mom would begin preparing our dinner, which she would finish after we returned from Mass. We usually ate around 7:30 in the evening, with most of us snacking before Mass to tide us over. Like most Catholics, I was glad to be living post Vatican Two, where we only had to fast for an hour before receiving Communion, instead of overnight, like our forefathers.

As for my dad, I knew that he was probably going to manage the accounts for that week with the bakery, as well as prepare the payroll information to the company who would send the checks the following Friday. He was always meticulous about record keeping, not to mention determining how well our family business was performing.

Even though I usually took a long nap after work, waking up around 4:00 to shower and get ready for Mass, it was already nearly 3:00, and an hour long nap did my body as little good as no napping. It wasn't that I wasn't feeling tired, but I knew I would be better off pushing through and going to bed earlier that night.

Kariss, of course, knew this without my saying anything.

"Julie, you must be tired," she told me, gently, as we headed upstairs. "Perhaps, I should have waited to stop by the bakery."

I shrugged, smiling at my Yeerk. Even if she had a human body, I still saw her as my Yeerk. "It's okay. Don't worry, Kariss, I'm not going to pass out from exhaustion. I'll probably just go to bed earlier, tonight."

It felt a little strange, speaking to her out loud, instead of in our shared mental space. Even though I knew that Kariss was the same person as the Yeerk who had lived in my head for three and a half years, it felt, well, strange, to be talking to her out loud. Plus, there was the fact that she looked a lot different than her original body. Moreover, I couldn't quite get used to the fact that I would have to communicate with her by speaking. It felt less private, and of course, it was. Whatever we said could be overheard by anyone, now. Granted, at any point during the war, I could have been infested by another Yeerk, who would have gone through my memories and heard every word ever exchanged by myself and Kariss. I had known this, at the time, but I had also lived in a state of denial that anything would change. Kariss would always be my Yeerk, because I wanted her in my head.

Even when the Animorphs were fighting the war against the Yeerks, I hadn't truly believed that they would do much except slow down the Yeerk empire. If the Andalites came in massive numbers, yes, maybe they would cause the destruction of the Yeerks. But as Illan had told me, they had already failed to stop the Yeerks from infesting a fairly large number of species. If any others had resisted infestation, they must have been killed off in the process. Or, perhaps, established some kind of peace treaty with the Yeerks. Don't infest us and we won't attempt to kill you off. Maybe. All we knew was that the only species openly fighting the Yeerks were the Andalites, so they were the only hope for involuntary hosts, like myself. Since the Animorphs hadn't begun to fight the Yeerks until after I had been living, happily, with Kariss for over six months, I had very little hope-during my enslavement with Illan-that the Andalites were even aware that the Yeerks had invaded my planet.

Of course, as soon as Kariss had taken Illan's place as the Yeerk in my head, my experience with infestation had changed-almost overnight-from a living nightmare to a fairly pleasant experience. Not only was she unbelievably kind to me, Kariss had given me regular control. With regular practice on my end, and her constant encouragement, it had only been a few weeks before I was able to get my hands and feet to respond to my commands without any help. Kariss also hadn't pry into my memories without asking for permission, something my former Yeerk did gleefully. At the time, I hadn't been able to believe my good fortune. It seemed as though everything that Illan had been to me, Kariss was the opposite. Even her voice was pleasant sounding, gentle and calming, especially after a flashback or a nightmare. To be honest, I imagine that even if she had kept control over my body at all times, I probably would have been happy with her in my head indefinitely.

I never became voluntary, officially. I hated the Yeerk empire, and I suspected that Kariss did, as well. Being reassigned to a voluntary status might mean better treatment from the guards and a nicer place to spend my time when Kariss fed, but it also would have meant cooperating with the empire. It would be like telling them that I knew they had been right to take me, and my fellow humans, against our will. I didn't blame the voluntary humans-I knew that they believed that they were making the best of a bad situation. Perhaps, they were cooperating in order to protect their family and friends. But, for me, after having been involuntary for a year and a half and an object of torture to my captor for that time, I knew that-as much as I liked Kariss-I couldn't just become voluntary in the eyes of the empire. I think that Kariss, like me, secretly hoped that the "Andalite Bandits" would be able to overthrow the empire, without killing all of the Yeerks.

They probably would have killed them, though, had they been Andalites.

Kariss was watching me now, and I realized I was just standing in the middle of the hallway, probably with a blank look on my face.

I could feel my face redden. "S-sorry, Kariss. I was thinking about-about before."

My tone must have betrayed some of my thoughts, or maybe Kariss just knew me well enough that she could guess that I had been thinking about Illan.

Carefully, without any words, she pulled me into a hug. Despite her small size, the hug was the type of "bear hug" that my parents so often gave me and my siblings. I squeezed back, and we remained like that for at least a few minutes.

While I was the first to let go, I was glad that she stayed close to me as we headed towards my bedroom. Once inside, I headed towards my closet.

"I-I better shower and get changed for Mass," I told her, finally selecting a dress with a full skirt, covered with large flowers. It was a favorite, and Kariss smiled fondly as she saw it.

Kariss nodded. "Am I dressed appropriately?" she asked me.

I studied her outfit. Jeans and a buttoned down blue shirt. While most people had long since stopped dressing up for Mass, my family was one of the few exceptions. It wasn't so much to show off, but to show respect to God. Mom had always said that we shouldn't arrive in His house in anything less than our good clothes, at least for the Sunday Mass.

The truth was that Kariss would be fine in jeans if she wasn't going with us. But with my family, she'd stick out like a sore thumb.

"You could borrow something of mine," I offered, diplomatically. "They might be an inch or so longer on you, and a little loose, but my clothes would probably fit you."

She smiled at me. "I'll take a look while you get changed."

We hugged, again, and I headed down to the bathroom. The door was open, so none of my sisters or brother was inside.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked back to my room, noticing that the door was closed. I knocked, and heard Kariss say, "Come in!"

Once inside, I put my work clothes in the the small basket I used for dirty laundry before taking a look at my Yeerk. Kariss smiled, looking a little self conscious, as I examined her selection. She was wearing a pale blue blouse and one of my full skirts. On me, it reached just above the ankles. On her, it wasn't quite dragging the floor, but almost. The blouse looked a little loose, but she'd tucked it into the skirt, which I'd never had to do.

"Well, Julie? How do I look?" Kariss asked me, a hesitant smile on her face as she watched me study her.

"You look nice," I told her, which was true. "But, um, you'll need to lift up the skirt when you go down the stairs, though. Also, when we get out of the car."

She nodded, glancing down at the skirt. "I had tried rolling it up, on the waist," she told me, pointing, "but you'd be able to tell with the shirt."

I could see what she meant. The shirt would need to be tucked in, and rolling up the skirt would definitely show.

"It's my fault for loving long skirts," I told her, smiling self deprecatingly.

Kariss rolled her eyes at me. "Oh, please. Perhaps I could have gained another inch or so in height had I concentrated. Maybe."

I shrugged. "Could be worse. You could be three hundred pounds. Besides, Kariss, you do look nice."

I reached out to hug her, and she immediately returned it.

"I was thinking," Kariss told me, as we sat down next to each other on my bed, "of using another name in case your parents need to introduce me to anyone. Most of us use aliases, for when we're with humans."

I frowned to myself, making a mental note to ask her, later, if she had to use one regularly. Did Yeerk nothlits face any sort of persecution or violence? But, it sounded as though Kariss had just thought of the idea of using a pseudonym. Which meant that she probably didn't need one...?

"Isn't that sort of lying?" I wondered.

"Technically," Kariss admitted, "but didn't one of your Saints say that lying is withholding information that a person has the right to know? And, really, is it anyone's right to know whether I am human or Yeerk?"

She had a point. Possibly.

"We can ask your parents, and see how they feel about it," Kariss added, putting her right hand around my shoulder. "I wouldn't want to do anything to make them uncomfortable."

That seemed fair enough, so I agreed to it.

"By that way, what did they mean earlier? About my body not being a problem, should I decide to join your religion?" Kariss queried.

I let out a deep breath. "It's long. Sure you want to hear?"

"Yes," Kariss insisted. "I should know."

"This would be one of those times it would be better if you were still in my head," I noted, smiling. "Okay. Well, when the word got out about the existence of aliens who could live in your heads, and how they had taken over thousands of us, but they would be given permanent bodies so that they wouldn't have to, the Pope was interviewed about the role of Yeerks in Christianity." I paused, waiting for a reaction. Kariss nodded, looking interested. "Well, some Catholic theologians have thought about the existence of aliens before you guys came around, and for the most part, they said that if aliens exist, they're part of God's plan. And we need to take a wait and see approach if we ever meet them face to face, because it's possible that they didn't sin like we did. It was all speculative, until the past several months."

"Evidently," Kariss grinned. "So, what did your Pope have to say about us?"

"In the interview, he said that while Yeerks were welcome in the Church and the Andalite technology of morphing was one we could utilize, with appropriate caution, the act of trapping oneself in a morph on purpose was a grave offense against God," I explained, wincing a little. I agreed with it, but I hated to be the one to tell my Yeerk. "He said that God gave us the bodies He chose for us to have, and were a Yeerk to become an animal or human nothlit, they were acting in direct violation of that."

I saw Kariss' eyes widen, slightly, and she reached out for my hand. "So, I'm going to hell?"

I shook my head, and squeezed her hand, reassuringly. "Of course, there was all sorts of commotion on all sides about what he'd said, because not only was the Pope basically saying this about Yeerks who had already trapped themselves, he was saying this after the fact. I mean, it's not like you had never heard him-or any priest, really-say this before you became a nothlit."

"That's true," Kariss told me, nodding. "You know that I cannot say whether I believe in your God, Julie, but knowing this certainly would have given me cause to-to hesitate before agreeing to trap myself in any form. While we were not presented with idea of becoming nothlits as though it were an option to refuse, I had known several Yeerks who had been planning to do just that. Even if it meant going without a host for the duration of their life. They felt, in an instinctive rather than religious manner, that it was a violation to their body and their way of life."

I nodded, thinking of the bravery that choice must have taken. Not that I considered Kariss any less brave for opting to accept a human body. "A few weeks after the first interview," I continued, "another interview with the Pope came out. A sort of correction. He explained that while what he had said before was true-that intentionally trapping oneself was wrong-that he had learned that few Yeerks, if any, had been made aware of this information," I explained, raising my eyes. Of course, the Pope probably hadn't known the logistics, any more than any of us had. "So, he said that any Yeerk who was unaware had not acted against God, and would be welcome in the Church." I paused, before adding, "He did say that human and Andalite scientists should make it a priority to develop a sort of 'nothlit cure' for those who had been trapped, whether intentionally or not."

Kariss sighed. "After I became a nothlit, I discovered that a fair number of Yeerks who were allowed to keep their form. All of the Peace Movement survivors, of course. But also many Yeerks who had committed heinous war crimes."

"W-what happened to them?" I asked, hoping to hear that Illan was one of them.

Kariss studied me. "I don't know all of the information. I imagine few do, except those overseeing their sentence." At my raised eyebrows, Kariss continued, "You see, Julie, those Yeerks, from what I learned, are being isolated in a separate pool, and given very limited Kandrona rations. They won't be starved, exactly, but they will always be hungry except for the shortest possible window of time, during which the Kandrona rays will be shone on the pool. Not exactly torture, or not by Yeerk standards, but it's certainly not a bleak existence. Better than outright starvation or death, though. Needless to say, they will never be eligible for any host. I don't know if they are kept in isolation from each other, but I would like to think they are. It would prevent them from reproducing, which they might see as a form of suicide as well as prolonging their species."

"How do they find them?" I asked, heart racing a little.

"The war criminals?" Kariss asked. At my nod, she smiled, a little darkly. "Mostly by tracking them down. The Yeerk empire kept very detailed records, and despite what they claimed to believe about the minds of hosts being insignificant, they would record when a host's mind was broken through torture, and by who. They also marked down which Yeerks had boasted about torturing their hosts." Kariss put an arm around my shoulder. "I am certain that, if Illan survived the war, she is in that pool."

"I can't say I'm not glad about it," I told her.

I tried to forgive her, every day, and mostly, I succeeded at it. Still, her receiving some sort of justice felt-well, right.

Kariss wrapped her other arm around me. "Then, there are the Yeerks who can't receive the power. They're called allergic, but that's not entirely accurate, because they don't exactly suffer. They simply...you see, when I received the morphing technology, I felt a spark through my body. My body, I was told later, twitched. Those who can't receive it, well, they experience no reaction. No sensation, nothing. So, they can't change their form, and they have to remain in the Yeerk Pool."

"Not the same one as the criminals?" I asked, worriedly. "It's not like they've done anything wrong..."

"No, not the same pool, Tamli," Kariss reassured me, squeezing my shoulder. "And it's a very rare condition, their allergy. Probably, less than one in a hundred of Yeerks have it. Not to mention, when I received my body, fewer than a third of Yeerks had been given the power. It's a very slow process. But there are at least a hundred, the last I heard."

"What will happen to them?"

"They're eligible to receive a human host, as long as there's nothing in their file that's noteworthy. Lots of humans still want Yeerks, and with the Peace Movement, at least half of the Yeerks had human hosts, who chose to stay with them."

I nodded, sighing. "You know I would have stayed a host to you, had I been able to."

Kariss ran a hand through my hair. "Yes, but I was never a member of the Peace Movement. I should have tried harder to join. I'm sorry, Julie."

I shook my head, causing her fingers to fall to my shoulder. "No, I remember you telling me how secretive they were. If you had prodded, asked more people, you might have been able to join, but you also could have gotten yourself killed. And I-" I felt my voice catch. "Even if they hadn't given me another Illan, I'd have missed you so much, Kariss."

"Thank you, Tamli," she murmured, softly, smiling at me. "I missed you, too."

A/N: A thanks again, to YMP-33-KI for beta reading.

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