Authors note: Yes, it's been nearly 2 years, but uh here you go. Didn't realized how the R&R worked last time, I was but a mere child… But uh, I'm to start doing it so yes. Sorry to all of those who were expecting a review back, you'll get on though so don't worry.

"Ohh, so good…ohh, baby," dribbled Principle Gibbs, scooping up a handful of lard, stolen earlier that day from the school Canteen, before devouring it. He closed his eyes, savouring the delicious, greasy, fatty taste… All the while listening to Lionel Richie.

"MR GIBBS!"

His eyes snapped open to find four people; Ms Broom, Will Turner, Jack Sparrow and Norbert Norrington. "I uhh… it's not wha' it looks like… I… Ok I admit it! I'm addicted ta eating lard! I 'ave a problem!" Gibbs burst out, eyes flailing wildly around the room, before landing on the spandex clad Ms Broom. "It's not natural to have THA' many stomachs…" Gibbs said slowly, a look of disgust creeping onto his face as he tried to block out the image of Brooms camel hoof.

"Erm HRM, if I may, Principle Gibbs, perhaps you should ask us why we're here?" Norbert asked, in a bored voice, before sweeping his finger along the wall, before observing much dust had gathered on his finger with disgust. "And may I ask why you've lit so many candles…"

"I… Uh was having some quality time with… my lard…" Gibbs explained, trying not the make eye contact with any of them.

"You mean your belly…" Jack asked, rummaging through the drawers, trying to find anything he could smoke, inject, drink or eat.

"NO! I mean my tub…" Gibbs replied speedily, as if it was much better than what Jack had suggested.

"Is this why there's been a shortage of chips in the canteen?" Will asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. That and Brooms been eating them… I mean… Why are you lot here…?" Gibbs asked, quickly changing the subject, before mopping the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand.

"The Eunuch raped Elizabeth!" Jack shouted.

"Jack PLEASE. You mean WILL raped Elizabeth." Ms Broom corrected him.

"… then again, I'm not surprised; she was a nice piece of skirt…" Jack mumbled to Nobert.

"That's my GIRLFRIEND you're talking about, Sparrow!" Nobert snapped.

"GIRLFRIEND? YOU? Oh Christ, thought I saw you eyeing up that Gillette bloke in the shower the other day in Sports… but it's all right if you were, I mean, no one's gonna be mad at ya for being gay and all… you don't need to hide behind that little minx, now do ya?" Jack said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"I'm not GAY!" Norbert protested.

"Wait… Will, this true?" Gibbs asked, getting back to the point, once again.

"No, I didn't rape her, this is all a mistake, I swear! And anyway, how would I rape someone if I was eunuch?" Will asked, in a desperate voice.

"William, are you admitting to being a eunuch?" Ms Broom asked.

"No!" Will said, starting to get pretty confused himself.

"See, he's admitting to raping Elizabeth." Norbert claimed.

"Well, 'ave any of you got any evidence of what 'happened'?" Gibbs said, stroking his tub of lard beneath the desk.

"I… HE'S A EUNUCH!" Jack shouted, tackling Will.

"Case closed… Eunuch's can't uh… Well. Go home kids." Gibbs trailed off, tired of the little tiff.

"Thank God. Though' I'd be 'ere for ages… Ain't it great Willy? See, I knew you'd come out on top in the end…" Jack said, putting his arm around Will, who was beyond hitting him, as they walked out of the door, then down the corridor. "Oi, I'm 'avin a uh… Little get together tonight… Wanna come?" Jack asked Will, who just glared at him.

"No! Boys! You have DETENTION!" Ms Broom shrieked, waddling as fast as she could down the corridor after them, all four bellies wobbling in the process, followed by Norbert who strolled casually out of Gibbs' office, where the sound of the Lionel Richie continued to play.