"So, you need him more than anything." Lisa's voice was shrill, slightly mocking. "You love him more than me. Were you ever going to tell me?" At the end she was screaming, pain and fury etched over her faces as tears filled her eyes. The shattered remains of her empty water glass lay sparkling on the floor around her. "You love some strung-out junkie more than you love me!" she accused.
Dean tried to protest, say that Cas was clean and had been for years, but Lisa's pain fueled her anger and she bowled right over him.
"I thought we had something, that we were going somewhere! And this entire time, you've been in love with him!" Now she stepped over the glass, invading Dean's space. "Did you ever love me? Or was I just some giant rebound?" she spat.
"Lisa, you've gotta hear me out," Dean began, but once more his sentence was steamrolled.
"No, Dean, I don't. Go pack a fucking bag, I want you out of here by morning." Lisa left, turning at the doorway. "I can't- I can't give all of my heart to someone who already gave theirs away, Dean," she said sadly. Dean almost spoke, but she turned and left before he could apologize.
"Fuck," Dean muttered, putting his head in his hands and resting his elbows on the tabletop. What was gonna tell Ben? The kid wasn't technically his son, but he'd stepped up as his father when he and Lisa got together. What was going to happen to that now? And Lisa… God, Dean had never meant to hurt her. He'd just stopped thinking, and told Cas what was on his mind. He loved Cas in a soul-deep way that his love for Lisa couldn't compete with. But he'd thought that was just a thing, that you loved different people differently, and that even if Cas was what he wanted, Lisa was who he should want. Lisa could have offered him everything, love, a family, a house, the white picket fence life. Cas couldn't do any of that; he was just as broken as Dean was, even though together they somehow made each other whole. Dean had thought that over time things would change, that his feelings would fade or lose intensity, but the moment he'd heard Balthazar's name, his entire body had filled with jealousy as though Cas was still his to protect.
Dean knew he couldn't really have stayed with Lisa, knowing what he now knew, but he did wish he'd been able to… break it to her gently, eased into it maybe. So it wouldn't have hurt so much. With guilt weighing his shoulders down, he swept up the broken glass. He slid back into the bedroom, noticing that Lisa was conspicuously absent, and started packing his clothes up in a duffel bag. It was strange, really, how his entire life with Lisa could be shoved into a duffel bag and backpack. Clothes, a few personal items from the bathroom and bedside table, and he was done. Most of his stuff was still in the apartment he'd shared with Sammy after he'd broken up with Cas and before he'd met Lisa. When Dean had moved in with her, he'd let Sammy keep almost everything so that the apartment would still have everything it needed to be livable. So the entire relationship with the woman he'd thought he was going to marry was boiled down to clothes and some toothpaste.
His bags packed, everything cleared out from his side of the bathroom, and a letter slipped underneath Ben's door so the kid would know how sorry he was in case Lisa wouldn't let him see the kid again, Dean left his key on the table and stepped out the front door. He tossed his crap in the trunk and slid into the Imapala's front seat, trying to figure out where he was going to go for the night. It was around two a.m. Jess had moved in with Sammy; they still had a bedroom free but Sammy had class in the morning and Dean didn't want to worry him yet. Benny was out of town with his family for the week. Bobby and Ellen had a brood of kids staying with them during the summer, friends of the family and foster kids alike. That left one option.
He flipped open his phone and dialed.
"Hello, Dean."