Random Ramble: Guess what happened to me on Thursday? I got freakin' hypnotized! I'd go into details, but… well… I either can't say much or have too much to say… I don't know which. But everybody should try it, it's freakin' AWESOME (hence my continuous use of the term "freakin'")! Onto Mary Sue bashing!

WARNINGS: Hmmmm, nope! Can't think of anything!

Recap: It seemed that Mary Seu had regenerated and rejoined the Sanzo-ikkou! The only problem is that Sanzo and Hakkai are acting very funny! Whatever shall Mary Seu-san (is it just me, or does "Mary Seu-san" sound like a type of sauce?) do to help these poor souls? Be her wonderful, adorable, loveable self, or course! Let's watch.

Chapter 4: The Crazy Just Keeps on Comin'

If there ever were a need for a gun shot, now was the time. Gojyo was about to go insane with everybody being so silent, minus Goku and Little Miss Thang. They would not shut the hell up! No, wait. Sanzo would also occasionally add something to the conversation. Usually is was something like, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop talking to your imaginary friend?" Or something.

However, Hakkai was what was really worrying Gojyo. The man kept his same smile on, like always, but if you really, and I mean REALLY, looked at him you would notice the split second death glares he was giving Seu in the rear view mirror. The first few times, Gojyo had thought it was his imagination. It wasn't until the, oh, sixtieth time that he figured that Hakkai had some issues going on with that girl. What, he didn't know.

"Hey, Hakkai," Gojyo finally said, taking the direct approach. "Something wrong?"

"W-Why no, Gojyo!" Hakkai answered in that same way he always did, minus the stuttering. "Whatever would give you s-such an idea? Heh heh."

"Uh-huh." Obviously this was going to take more than mere straight forward conversation.

So our favorite gigolo was forced to sit for the remaining travels to the next town listening to Seu manipulate Goku into thinking that he was in love with her and that they should spend the rest of their life together. Perhaps this was the one good time for Goku to be slow.

"But I just think, Goku dear," Seu was saying with a small blush trying to look like an innocent virgin (heh), "that you and I are perfect for each other. I mean, you were imprisoned for 500 years in a cave on some mountain, I was imprisoned for 1000 years in an cave under the sea!"

Gojyo opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it and decided to just let the lack of oxygen for that long a period of time be the reason for the her actions today.

"I don't know," Goku said. "I need to check with Sanzo first, ya' know? I don't think he'd like it if I just went off with you to rid the world of all things that are good and pure."

"Nonsense!"

"Goku, I have decided to get you help when we reach civilization," Sanzo suddenly cut in. "It's obvious to everybody that you've finally cracked."

Silence.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap," Gojyo slowly said. "You guys just go on with your regular lives, okay? And I stress 'regular'."

"Ha ha!" Hakkai laughed, right after a quick glare at Seu. "Gojyo, you're acting so strange today!"

"… Yeah."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

On a normal day, Gojyo would be scoping out the new town's supply of supple, female flesh to please the demon in his pants. On a normal day, he would be purposely pissing Goku off for no reason aside from also pissing Sanzo off. On a normal day, he would not be forced to be a freakin' pack mule! That was Goku's job.

Then again, Seu had made his day not so normal. The little wench had been a thorn in his side ever since she had somehow managed to travel with them (he was still trying to figure out how the hell that happened (1)). Sure, at first he thought that perhaps the girl wouldn't be nearly as annoying as he had first thought or that she would just be killed in less than a day. Sadly, no demons had attacked them ever since Seu had come along. Gojyo was beginning to think that it was so they wouldn't have to deal with Mary's blabbering. Speaking of which, she was still talking.

"Oh, Gojyo!" she was saying. "It's so great that you and I get to bunk together!"

"Say wha?" (2) Gojyo mumbled from beneath all her suitcases.

"Didn't Hakkai tell you? He felt that Goku and I were too young to be sleeping together, so he said that I should sleep with you! What do you think?"

"I think that Hakkai is a devious bastard."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Look, where the hell do you want your crap?"

"Oh, anywhere's fine."

"Okay then." Gojyo was about to drop her shit right where he was standing, until-

"Buuuuuut, I would like to have my clothes neatly organized by color, style, brand, price, and material, and if you would be so kind as to put my collection of rare and useless crap over on that shelf, and it is so stuffy in here! Open that window, pretty please? Oh, and be a dear and get me a soda, not too fizzy, now, diet not regular, and could you go buy me some satin sheets with matching comforter, pillow cases, and canopy? You got all that, right?"

"… Fuck you, whore!"

And with that, Gojyo dropped her crap and stomped out of their, I mean HIS room.

Son of a bitch! he thought. Who the hell does Hakkai think he is, making me sleep in the same room as that… that… Crap! I've run out of words for her! Whatever, man! I guess I'll just go explain a little thing about being considerate of others to Hakkai! Wow, never thought that would have to happen.

Seeing how Hakkai and Goku's room ("Why the hell did that monk get his own room?") was next door, it didn't take long for Gojyo's fist to connect with the door a good many times.

"Gojyo," Hakkai said as he opened the door, "is something the matter?"

"Ya' think?" Gojyo nearly shouted. "Why the hell did you say that little hussy could room with me? Are you insane?" (3)

"Well, I just assumed that you would want to fool around with her-"

"That's very generous of you, Hakkai, and it is very much appreciated, but come on! I thought I asked you to give me more credit than that! God! She doesn't shut up, she thinks she's the greatest thing since sliced bread (4), her clothes shouldn't even be considered clothes, she-! "

"Hey, quit talking bad about Seu!" Goku interrupted. "You just need to get to know her, you guys! I mean, she's really-!"

"Shut up, monkey!" Gojyo yelled as he hurled Goku out the window, a loud scream being left behind.

Hakkai merely looked at the flying monkey before turning back to speaking with Gojyo. "I completely understand your distress, Gojyo, believe me." A look of pure, unadulterated evil crossed Hakkai's face after that. "However, Sanzo doesn't seem to be in a proper state of mind at this point in time and we don't want Goku to be forced into something that he is too young for. Do you understand?"

"I understand that we all hate this chick but she is traveling with us for some unknown reason! We don't know the first thing about her, do we? Her story keeps changing! She's said that her father was a god then a half demon!"

"I think that the half demon was her third mother twice removed."

"Whatever! My point is that she is useless!"

"Now, now, Gojyo, don't worry! I'll take care of everything."

"…?"

"Hm, I think I'll go fetch Goku before he gets lost… Though, that may have already happened."

And so Hakkai ventured off into the unknown leaving Gojyo to fume. Yes, he was still ticked about the room arrangements, so he threw himself onto Hakkai's bed in hopes of making an indention. Okay, so it wasn't the greatest revenge, but give the guy a break!

Speaking of break, it sounded as though he broke something on his collision with the bed. Starting to worry since he didn't want to make Hakkai upset, just mess with him (5), he looked around to see what he hit.

After lifting up the mattress, he found a book. But this wasn't a book that you read. The cover indicated that it was a diary. Gojyo was more confused than ever at that. Since when did Hakkai keep a diary, or have the privacy to write in it for that matter?

Deciding that reading a few pages of Hakkai's would be enough justice for him, Gojyo quickly flipped to the earliest entry, chock full of anticipation.

Dear Diary,

Today, I have met the most horrid creature on the face of the planet, and her name is Seu Mary. The little slut actually thought that she reminded me of Kanan! How dare that bitch do such a thing! I swear on all things that are holy, Seu Mary shall die by my hands! Bwa ha ha ha ha haaaa!

Now the question is how shall it be done? Perhaps I shall break her back to make her paralyzed and then do every horrible thing imaginable to her while she is still awake? No, she won't be able to feel the pain, then. OH! Maybe I could draw and quarter her while she is lit on fire? Hm, that one will be a back up just in case I can't think of anything else.

Oh, I need to go get some chocolate chips right now before I forget. I'm making cookies!

Gojyo shut the book after that deciding that that was enough reading for now.

"That explains a lot, though," he said.

"Gojyo!" somebody shouted as they threw open the door.

Tossing the diary back under the mattress and doing a terrible job at making it look as though the mattress was lifted up just for the heck of it, Gojyo whirled around to see Sanzo standing in the doorway with a very twitchy look on him.

"What's up?" was all he could say to this.

Slowly, Sanzo walked into the room, his eyes shifting left to right and hand closing in around his gun. Gojyo was getting really sick of being confused 90 of the time, right about then.

"Do you see her?" Sanzo suddenly asked.

Though, it wasn't even what you would consider a whisper, so Gojyo responded,

"What?"

"THAT GIRL! DO YOU SEE HER?" Sanzo now had Gojyo pinned against the wall with his gun pressed to his Adam's apple.

"No, man! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"She's here! I know she is and I am going to blow her brains out and make sure she's dead then burn her remains! Do you hear me!"

"… Okay, maybe you should sit down and we'll have a nice little talk-"

"THERE!"

Sanzo tossed Gojyo aside and released a barrage of bullets onto a lamp, quickly shattering it to pieces. Gojyo just sat there, pondering his situation.

Right, so Hakkai and Sanzo have both lost it and the monkey is just plain blind, he thought. I guess that that means I'm the only sane one. Wonder if I get to sit in the front, now?

"What the hell are you doing, Sanzo!" Gojyo heard Goku screech. It seemed that he had returned with Hakkai after all. Gojyo must not have thrown him that far.

"I'm trying to get rid of her!" Sanzo yelled back, gun still shooting despite the logic that it was probably out of bullets.

"Who is 'her'?" Hakkai calmly asked, eyes telling a different story, though.

"That Seu Mary girl! She's working with Homura, I know it! Come on out, bitch!"

Yeah, where was that bitch?

"Sanzo, if you don't calm down, I'm afraid we're going to have to resort to drastic measures. Do you understand?"

"Open your eyes, man! It's so obvious that he sent her here! I mean, she came back to fucking life after I fucking killed her! How else could that have happened?"

"None of us know what you're talking about!" Goku shouted (all of the screaming was giving Gojyo a head ache).

"THEN DIE!"

While Hakkai and Goku wrestled Sanzo to the ground, Gojyo just stayed in his position against the wall on the floor. By that time, he had come to the conclusion that Seu Mary had to go not only for his own pleasure, but for the sake of the world.

If things kept going the way they were, Gyumaoh would be resurrected and the entire world would be in danger, all because of some annoying Seu Mary.

In the meantime, though, it was very amusing to see Sanzo wrapped up in bed sheets fashioned to be a stray jacket.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I know what you all are thinking! "I thought that Sanzo was in denial about Seu being back?" I'll explain that later.

1.) To be perfectly honest, I don't know how the hell it happened either. We'll just leave it to Goku giving Hakkai and Gojyo puppy dogs eyes.

2.) Yes, "wha" is supposed to be "wha" and not "what."

3.) I wish I could have put a question mark and an exclamation mark there (and in numerous other places), but won't let me. 

4.) Whether or not they have sliced bread in this universe is beyond me. I don't notice what foods they're eating, but if any rabid Saiyuki fan out there has recorded evidence of sliced bread in the anime or manga, feel free to inform me of such a thing.

5.) I can see Gojyo wanting to mess with Hakkai for revenge of some sort, but I think he would feel bad if he broke something of Hakkai's, you know? I could be wrong, though.

A/N: And so ends another chapter. A day later than I would have hoped, but we can't be on time all the time. Not that there's a dead line for this. I just prefer to post things on the weekends. Any who, I think this chapter is not my greatest merely for the fact that I find Gojyo hard to write when he's not being a lady chaser. I don't know why!

Reason for not so much Seu: I am very close to coming up with an actual plot! So, this is a set up thing.

Next chapter I am shooting for Goku main.

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with warm kitties, courtesy of Sanzo! … Is that the correct "courtesy"? It looks wrong and my spell check is a piece of crap…