Butterfly wings
by Mademoiselle
Chapter 3 - Domino
He could have blamed karma, faith, the cruelty of the Gods. But what would that do for him? Nothing would change. Nothing would ever be the same after this. His life was like a domino game. Once the first piece went down there wasn't any way he could stop the rest of them from falling.
He closed his eyes praying the whole world will stop its maddening spin for just a second.
She had been pregnant and he knew nothing about it and now...now there was nothing he could do. Doubt crept slowly in his heart. Had she been carrying his child? They were never careless, so how could it happen? And if he was the father, why would Bella hide it from him?
Unless... this wasn't about them. The magazines were right. She had moved on and found somebody else. And here he was trying to play the part of Prince Charming, fighting to save his Sleeping Beauty. Only to realize he was meant for a much smaller role.
"That is probably as good as an answer".
Aro was still there, watching him like a hawk studying his prey.
"How far along..." He was able to say only half of the words he wanted, but Aro seemed to understand his question.
"A little over four months."
Guilt hit Edward with the force of a tidal wave. Guilt for not being there and for leaving when he should have stayed. But mostly for doubting her. Because four months ago, he was the one to share her bed.
On the other side of the table, Aro watched in silence the kaleidoscope of emotions displayed in front of him. If somebody would have asked if he could have pinpointed the exact moment when Edward knew, what he had only guessed, he would do it in a heartbeat.
Bella had been carrying Edward's child. Of that, the old man was sure.
"She never told me." regret filled Edward's words. His eyes held the pain of knowing what he had lost and the fear of what he might lose.
"I guessed that much. Although I wasn't that sure a couple of minutes ago ".
"You couldn't have thought I left knowing that Bella was pregnant!" He owned this man so much and he was desperately trying to keep that in mind, before he let his temper cloud his thoughts again.
"I left because there wasn't a reason to stay. She didn't give me one." He closed his eyes and slumped in the chair. Aro didn't say a word.
"This is... Why would she hide it? Nothing makes sense, Aro! I would have stayed. I wouldn't have made her choose." There was a battle going on in Edward's mind. Words spoken were coming back to him with vengeance.
"I don't think she knew. She probably found out after you were already in Spain. This is the only explanation I have." Aro had always been the voice of reason. But even for him, the fact that Bella had hidden this pregnancy was hard to understand. He was hurt by the lack of confidence she had shown him. It stung and he was certain that Edward was having an even harder time to make peace with everything.
"She could still talk to me. I would have come back. There is no doubt in my mind, I would have! I was in Spain, not on another planet."
"Edward this is not my story to tell. Even if I have my suspicions, I don't know anything for certain." He could guess the questions molding in Edward's mind, but he went on, refusing to open that dangerous door. Sure, he was the one that still answered Edward's frenzied phone calls those first weeks after he left for Spain, but that had stopped in time. If he wanted the whole story, Edward would have to wait and ask it from Bella.
"Son, listen. Bella will wake up. We don't know the full extent of her injuries and how much time will her recovery take, but the doctors told us she is stabile right now. You will get your answers. Just be patient."
He scrunched his nose as if an odd smell had invaded the room. Patient? Aro could have asked him to move a mountain instead and he would have gladly taken the task.
"As soon as they bring her from ICU you can see her." The old man reassured him. "I'll see to that. You can also give Carlisle a call and ask him to come here. We could use a friendly face, someone who speaks the scrubs language".
Edward was sure that the subject was now close, so even though his mind was flooded by questions, he let them go. Ignorance is bliss they say, but how the tables turn when the ignorant mind finally catches up.
"How did this happen?"
It was Aro's turn to look confuse. "How did what happen?"
"The accident. This mess..."
"I only know parts of the story myself. Some things are still blurry now, but I know that Bella was headed to her rental. She called me just a few minutes before the accident to tell me she was done for the day. They were waiting for her, those nasty paparazzi. It was an ambush. Paparazzi shouting, some fans trying to get her to sign pictures. Emmette and Riley barely got her safe to the car. Emmette stayed at the scene, trying to calm the crowd. He was supposed to join them later at the rental."
The old man looked lost in his thoughts for a while, before he found his voice again. People came and went from the cafeteria, but they were still there, hunched around the plastic table.
"Bella probably thought she could lose the photographers by driving down a path that follows Seine. Somehow, I guess the paparazzi must have caught up with them. I don't know how or why but the car smashed against one of the polls in that tunnel. The entire side of the right passenger was crushed under that poll. Riley died on the scene, Edward. They barely got Bella out of the car in time."
Aro paused again. Time seemed to expand. Seconds turning into minutes.
"Whatever it was that made that car crush, we will find out. I promise you, if those damn paparazzi have anything to do with it, they will pay!".
Those last words weren't spoken by Bella's manager. The man standing in front of Edward wasn't just the person who made sure Isabella Swan was on time on a meeting, or knew her schedule. No, it was the man that would have parted waters for Bella, if she would have asked.
A question still loomed over them. Edward saw the images. He saw the car. He heard Aro tell him about the surgery..about Bella. But he couldn't not ask.
"Was there any chance…I mean, is there any hope for the baby…"
"No... No, Edward. I'm sorry. She went through a major surgery. Even if the baby would have survive the crush, they use all kinds of drugs during surgery…they had to fight for her life and do everything they could to stop her bleeding".
It felt like a punch in the gut. He couldn't help it. He was given something only to have it taken back in seconds.
Aro's phone rang, breaking the silence that went down at their table. He frowned when he saw the id displayed on the Blackberry, but answered.
"What's the matter?" From the other side a woman spoke in a hurry. The frown deepened on Aro's forehead, his gaze fixed on the same cup in front of him.
"When?" Aro listened intently to the answer.
"Stronzi!" The words slipped from the old man's mouth. He rarely spoke Italian now, Edward only heard him use his native language in two other occasions. Neither of those was a pleasant memory.
"They've lost any trace of decency. Listen to me: get in touch with Felix. After that, call Demetri as well. Call me back as soon as you have spoken to both of them."
Edward was a power cable. With every minute, more and more tension rolled in him. He watched half mesmerized, half resentful how Aro kept calm, his low tone never slipping higher even when the voice from the other end of the phone shrilled the silence.
"It can't be true. They wouldn't give their permission for that. Listen... I don't believe it for a second."
"Believe what? What's going on?" Edward asked, unable to keep his frisky temper checked.
The Italian held one finger in front of him, silently asking for the dreaded patience. He spoke for a few more seconds, giving precise orders and ending the conversation with a formal, but polite fairy well. Only then, he returned his attention to Edward.
"I might have found a way for you to see Bella a little sooner than expected". He said in a mellow voice, no trace in it of the earlier concern. He was acting like the phone conversation never happen.
Shock. Disbelief. Annoyance. Nervousness. Edward felt them all at once. Aro was playing him, baiting him, trying to make him forget the conversation from a few seconds ago. And it was working. In that moment the thought of seeing Bella was so loud in Edward's mind, muting with its intensity every other concern.
"Do you want to go?" Aro spoke again, as softly as before. He knew he was moving on treacherous waters. But telling Edward what his assistant just discovered was asking for trouble. He already had so much on his plate, he didn't need Edward to lose his shit in the cafeteria. He wasn't sure he could sweet talk Bella's doctor into granting even a 5 minute visit, but he had to try.
"What changed?" Apparently, disbelief was winning the battle going on in Edward's mind.
"Nothing changed." Aro reassured him.
"No, something's different. I'm not moving an inch until you tell me what was all that about." It wasn't a request or a plea. Edward demanded it.
"Son, that was work. We'll talk about it, but let's deal with everything at the right time. I'll ask you this again: do you want to see her or not?
"But you said...
He fought against the instinct to grab Edward and leave the table. He was after all a man who truly believed actions should only follow thought and never the other way around.
"I know what I've said Edward. I'm not that old. Don't let the grey hair fool you. Now, do you want to see her? Yes or no?" He smiled, knowing the answer even before he heard it.
Edward opened his mouth to speak, but stopped before any sound came out. He nodded and raised from the table. Aro followed right away, his slow movements a silent declaration of his many birthdays already celebrated.
Thirteen. He read it again, silently cursing. The number of the only private ICU in this hospital had the date of her birthday. He pushed the door, remembering Aro's pleas to keep this visit as short as possible, seeing as they were overstepping on the hospital policy as it was.
The first thing that came in his view were the white walls and the steady line of a pulse, before his eyes settled on the crippled body that laid in the hospital bed.
Everything dissolved in the ocean of love and concern that now flooded his heart. He moved closer to the bed, trying to be as quite as he could. He welcomed the beeping of the machines, the sound of the valve that helped her lungs get the oxygen she needed. It meant she was still there, fighting for life.
His gaze hugged her body, for the first time after their separation. The only thing he had asked for, in his lonely nights, was for her to be safe. He had prayed to a God that surely hadn't heard him, because here she was, in this hospital bed.
He wanted to touch her, as if her warmth was the evidence he needed to give his mind some peace. His hand lingered over her bruised face, but fear of hurting her even more paralyzed the movement.
There wasn't a place he could safely touch, it seemed like every part of her body had been through hell and back, bruises and cuttings testifying the journey. He cringed when he saw the IV, knowing how much Bella feared needles.
His eyes went back and forth, counting each bruise, analyzing the gravity of her cuts. Having a doctor as a father meant he was able to read the gravity of her injuries himself. The cast on her leg went well over the knee. Probably the bone was fractured in more than one place. Her right hand was bandaged and small red angry marks covered the right part of her face.
He tried to keep his feelings in check while he did this inventory. He had to be clinical about it, he knew the doctors would never explain the severity of the injuries as he was seeing them now. But he crumbled when he laid eyes on her body. He knew the main concern was the cut hidden under the bandages and the bed covers. But he didn't need to see how deep it was to know Bella would be carrying it for the rest of her life. As he would, too.
He laid his head on her shoulder, unable to keep the distance any longer. He breathed heavily, letting desperation finally take over and the first tears from his adult life drop.
"We will get through this. Please wake up. Just wake up, sweetheart" He spoke softly, close to her ear, hoping that somehow she could hear him.
"Please... don't give up. I don't want a life without you in it."
He felt like a castaway. He was helpless fighting the sea's wrath. As much as he pulled and pushed to get to shore, the waves pulled him back.
"I'm so sorry...So, so sorry." He whispered the words he never got to say to her when miles stood between them. But now they meant so much more.
"Monsieur, s'il vous plais. ...
He snapped his head back from Bella's shoulder, already feeling the loss of her. Close to the other side of the bed stood one of the nurses, nervously watching him.
"Je le dit a monsiuer Aro que vous avez 5 minutes. Vous ne pouvez pas rester. Je le regrette."
She seemed young and probably was one of the newest additions to Salpetriere's staff. Edward wouldn't want her to get into trouble. After all, he had yet to thank this woman for permitting his visit and probably risking her job.
"Yes, yes of course. I understand. I mean... Je comprend. I just need a second more." He pleaded with his eyes.
He didn't expect the nurse's answer, but leaned instead over the hospital bed, bringing his lips close to Bella's ear.
He inhaled softly, letting the air settle in his lungs before brushing his lips to her chick.
"We'll get through this. We will." He branded her skin with his words.
With one final look on her steady heartbeat, he left the room, following the path back to the cafeteria, where he knew he would find Aro.
He was already thinking of ways to get back to Bella and he knew Aro could open that door again, for him.
Thoughts of what could have been swirled in his mind, as much as he tried to pushed them away. Bella had been pregnant. She had carried their child. They could have had a child. Aro's words rang loud and clear. She had to know about the pregnancy. But why didn't she tell anyone? Back and forth he went, while his feet moved faster. Could she think so less of him? Could this be the reason why she didn't even try to contact him? Did she even want this as much as him?
He never thought he wanted to be a father, not that early in a relationship. But he knew now, without a doubt, that was something he desired. With her.
He paused in front of the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. He recalled he still hadn't spoken to his family, so he pulled his phone from his jeans and opened it. The messages started to fill his inbox. He saw Jasper's name in the list and opened his text. His friend was asking him not to read or watch any news. This was the second time someone close to him requested it. He had the feeling that something bad was brewing behind his back. The doors of the elevator opened and people started to climb off. He cleared the path for them, choosing to linger in the hall a little longer. The strange conversation Aro had over the phone was still fresh in his memory.
Something was definitely wrong. Using his phone to get online, he typed the site of the first tabloid he could think of, fighting with the rational part of him that willed to stop and meet Aro.
When the pictures from the site opened, rage overpowered any rational thought, filling him like it would fill a bull that had seen a red flag.