Chapter 4

Larabee 7 ~7:00 am ~Tuesday

Journal Entry~ October 10th ~Reclamation

I don't know if it was a result of my counseling sessions, or the fact that the MCAT office will re-open tomorrow without me, but my nightmares have returned. Visions of what the twelfth floor had looked like after the grenade attack invade my sleep. Maybe if I had listened…Do not go there Larabee. It is over and done with. Second-guessing yourself will not help anyone, especially you; at least that's what they keep telling me at our meetings.

Seven weeks into my sobriety and I'm still no closer to having my life and family back, although I am making progress. Or so Col. Tai has told me that I am. He agreed to be my sponsor, and as I had expected, he's a hard taskmaster...but also fair one. Although I'm still having doubts about how things are going to work out in the end, I'm beginning to see things with more clarity.

It is getting a little easier to relax a bit at those meetings, but I still have difficulty talking about myself. More accurately my fears...I don't know why it is so damn hard for me to talk to Vin or Kelli, but it is. Maybe I need to talk to Colonel Tai about it. He seems to be an okay guy and he does understand where I am coming from…

Linda walked in the kitchen and Chris quickly closed his journal." Here you are." She poured herself a cup of coffee. "I'm going into town to talk to the decorators today, and for some reason Inez refuses to watch Grace for me. You need to cancel your physical, or take her with you; I doubt that I'll be back before five."

"I can't do that Linda. Dr. Gilford has several tests set up this morning and then I have a counseling session after that. As much as I'd love to take Grace with me, it's just not possible. You'll just have to stay home with her."

"Well I can't change my appointment." Linda sighed. "You would think with your family crawling all over the place, someone could take her. Mallory is off somewhere with Josiah, and Adam, Casey, and JD took the twins for a day out, Rain is working, and Max said no."

"Why don't you ask Kel? With Jason in school it's just her and Andi at home. Besides, she would probably like spending some time with Grace before she goes back to work." Chris felt bad that his estrangement from Vin and Kelli had kept them from seeing Grace, too.

The blonde hesitated before answering; trying to decide how to handle that question and then an inspiration struck her. "No, I won't ask Kel. I wasn't going to tell you, but you do have a right to know. At Jason's party she had some awful things to say about you. I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn't listen to me. I've known her for a long time, but she even shocked me with some of her hateful remarks." Sighing deeply she continued. "I suppose that even good friendship can not survive jealousy and lies. It's really a shame though that she includes Grace in her contemptuous attitude toward us. I guess she is more like her mother than we realized."

Chris was momentarily speechless and felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart. *Damn Chris, you knew she was upset, but is Kelli capable of hating you that much? Look at Marissa, Larabee; she sure as hell hates you. Half of your daughter's genes came from that wicked woman. Is it really so difficult to believe that Kel could be capable of hating you, too?"

"If that's how she feels, then…I suppose we should keep Grace away from her. You had better make plans to stay with the baby yourself today." Chris stood up." I need to get dressed and out of here if I'm going to hit Gilford's office on time. Chris's disappointment was obvious as he left the room.

Linda watched him walk away with a sense of satisfaction.*That was brilliant Linda! By the time he finds out the truth, it won't matter. You will have your own place and Chris will see how happy you both can be without the distraction of family obligations. Kelli made it damn clear that she was not going to support you anyway. She chose Vin over you, after all these years of you two being friends! She also did without Chris most of her life and managed just fine. Kel is a survivor, she doesn't need him now…not like you do. Besides, keeping Chris and Kelli apart will give you time to finish your plans before he and Vin have an opportunity to mend their differences.*

Pleased that she was spared telling Chris about the disagreement that she and Kelli had, all she had to do is find someone else to take Grace for the day. Reaching for the phone, she dialed a familiar number and waited for her brother to answer. "Matt, I need a favor…"

Tanner Home ~ 1:30pm

Max and Kelli had been baking, cooking, and freezing prepared meals all morning, while two little girls helped. Inez seemed to be having a more difficult time with this pregnancy than she had with the previous two and Kelli wanted to help her out as much as possible. Since Inez was not feeling well, Maria was spending the day with Andi. Consequently they had spent the entire morning making enough food not only for the Tanner household for the next week, but to share with the Wilmingtons also. Looking at the clock, Kelli saw that it was almost time for Vin to arrive. He had only gone in to the office for half a day to make certain that everything was ready for tomorrow, and then he planned to pick Jason, Sarah and Joanne up from school on the way home.

Max closed the freezer door. "That is the last of it. Now I suppose we should pay our crew." She reached for a plate of warm cookies and offered them to the girls.

Kelli laughed when two little blurs ran past her in a race to the cookies. "Y'all save a few for Jason and Sarah. They'll be home and hungry before you know it." She was still laughing when she grabbed the ringing phone. "Hello…"

2:45pm

Vin and Buck walked into the kitchen with Jason, Joanne, and Sarah. After a stop at the cookie plate, they barely had time to take a bite before Andi and Maria came running into the room.

"Daddy!" Maria exclaimed and launched herself at Buck. "We make cookies!

"You home!" Andi yelled louder as Vin picked her up. "Good cookies!"

"Yes they are." Tanner grinned. "Where's your mama?"

"Gone," Andi answered as she happily munched on another cookie.

"Gone? Where?" Vin suddenly felt uneasy.

Max came into the kitchen. "She went over to the Southern Breeze. All I know is Matt called and she was upset after talking to him. She asked me to watch the girls and then left without saying another word. That was about one-thirty and I haven't heard from her since."

"Matt called? Matt Dubois? What in the h…heck did he want?

Max reached for Andi. "Don't know, but I'll watch the kids while you find out."

"Thanks," he kissed Andi and then told Jason to help Max with the girls, before he headed out the door.

"Wait for me, you might need some backup, and even if you don't I want to watch the fireworks." Buck was grinning as he kissed his girls and followed Tanner.

Southern Breeze ~3:00pm

Kelli had walked the floor with Grace for almost an hour before her little sister finally fell asleep. When Matt had called and begged for her help with the crying child, her first fear was that the baby was ill. It was when he told her that Linda had left Grace with him at eight o'clock that morning with no formula, two diapers, and the promise that she was only going to be gone a couple of hours that Kelli became furious with Linda.

"I'm sorry Kel. When Linda didn't answer my messages and I couldn't reach Chris, I did not know who else to call." Matt apologized for the umpteenth time. "I told her I was not good with babies and Martha was away for the day with Ben. She promised that she would be back before Grace even woke up."

"It's not your fault Matt. It was no problem for me to stop at the ranch house and pick up some diapers and formula on my way over here. So stop apologizin'' to me. But, I promise you that when I see your sister, she is damn well gonna get a piece of my mind. We're going on seven hours here. What in the hell did she expect you to do with a wet, hungry baby?"

Matt threw up his hands. "I have no idea what my sister expects anymore. I only know that she's not happy and you know how she can be when things don't go her way."

"Yeah, I do."

It was then that they heard a vehicle drive up out front and both of them went outside to see who it was. Grace was still asleep in her sister's arms and Kelli was reluctant to lay her down. As soon as she saw it was Linda walking toward the house though, Kelli handed the baby over to her Uncle Matt and moved to intercept the blonde.

"Linda, you and I need to talk!" The furious redhead grabbed Linda by the arm and practically dragged her to the other side of the barn. Kelli wanted to have her say and not be in earshot of Matt or Grace. It was way past time for a one-on-one confrontation with Linda as far as she was concerned.

Linda pulled her arm loose from Kelli's hold on it as the two women rounded the corner, the blonde gazing defiantly at the redhead. "What in the hell do you think you are doing, and why are you here?"

"I am about to kick your ass, that's what I'm doin'. I'm here because you left Matt alone with Grace for seven hours with no formula and two diapers. You wouldn't answer your messages and your brother called me for help when she would not stop cryin'!"

"Grace cries all the time and Matt is big enough to handle one little baby without your assistance! Hell, she is not gonna starve in a few hours." Linda resented the insinuation that she had done anything wrong. "I had some important matters to tend to, and Grace would have been fine without your interference!"

Without warning, Kelli roughly shoved Linda against the wall of the barn and held her there. "I have known you for over ten years and I thought I knew what you were capable of, but you have hit an all time high with your bitchiness, most of which I have managed to ignore, but to leave your baby without a second thought about her welfare is too damn much!"

Linda pushed Kelli off. "It's none of your business what I do. Ever since you met Vin you've made it clear that HE comes first in your life. Never mind that I have known you longer and I thought we were friends!"

"It's not a damn competition Linda. I love Vin and of course he comes first in my life. You have always resented him though, not just my relationship with him, but Chris' too. Even so, I have valued our friendship, but it's getting damn hard to remember why! Over the last few months you have become a bitch and a half! Everythin' is about you! As long as life is problem free you are fine, but when it's getting a little rough you do everythin' in your power to make it hell."

"That's not true! You just refuse to see what I've been through! Look at the last year! That loony serial killer took Chris and I was forced to take orders from your husband. Then I was kidnapped, and where was Chris when I needed him? In the damn hospital that's where! Next I find out that I am pregnant and do I get any attention? No! Chris discovers that you are his daughter and again I have to pick up the pieces alone. He was more concerned about what he had done to your life than mine!"

"Linda you are being way too over dramatic about all this! You were not the only one that had a hard time, Chris did too!"

"Really? I had a miserable time being pregnant and instead of having Chris to help me; his demented brother kidnaps him and turns him to drugs! Again Vin is issuing all the orders and he refused to listen to me. On top of that Chris wanted us to adopt two kids and we weren't even married yet! Again, did I have anyone interested in what I wanted? NO! We finally get married, have Grace, and at last I was able to do something that rated some attention and it lasted about two months! Chris just had to go undercover, leaving me with a baby that cried for her daddy constantly! Again I find Vin giving orders while Chris is back on drugs."

"Jesus! You make it sound as if you are a kid yourself Linda. Maybe it's time you grew up and started to take on some real responsibilities! Like carin' for your child and helpin' to support your husband through a rough period in his life! Chris has more than enough to face without havin' to baby sit a thirty- five -year old woman, too!"

"You're one to talk! You turned against him and finally he sees that you don't really give a damn Kel. You, Vin, and that so-called family of his left him hanging out to dry and I had to suffer for it. Vin was more concerned about solving that damn case than he was about Chris! You are so wrapped up with your kids that you can't even make time to help me!"

"Bull! You are the only one that has turned against your husband, and tried to blackmail him usin' your daughter! Need I remind you that Buck and Vin both went to California to try and talk some sense into him, and they were prepared to quit their jobs to look for Chris when he went missin'. The rest of us respect Dad enough to give him his space and let him make the decision he needs to without pressurin' him." Kelli shoved her again. "You say what you want about me; I can ignore it the same as I always have! But, at this point, Vin and his brothers care more about Chris than you do, and they don't deserve your criticism! Regardless of what you think, this family is standin' with Chris, and we do care what happens to him. Chris, along with the rest of this family, and my children are important to me, too. You only care about Linda and will even use your own daughter to force things to go your way!"

"No one will believe that load of bull Kel! You wait and see. Chris will never forgive you for siding against him. He's also beginning to see your jealousy of Grace. He sees through the rest of this so-called family too." Linda shoved her back. "But if it makes you feel better to make pathetic excuses for them and resort to violence, you are welcome to try to kick my ass. If you think you're woman enough to do it!"

"I don't think it, I know it!" It took only a few seconds for Kelli to grab Linda and put her into a chokehold. "I'm gonna say this one time and you had better damn well listen. When it was just me, I always let your outrageous behavior go, but now too many other people stand to be hurt because of it. Do NOT screw with the people I care about Linda! That means Vin, Jason, Andi, Chris and the rest of the Wild Bunch! And do NOT use my sister as a pawn in this stupid game you have decided to play."

Vin and Buck came around the corner in time to hear the last part of their exchange and see what was taking place. Assessing the situation quickly they moved in to separate the two women. Tanner was well aware of what his wife was capable of, and had no intention of letting this get any more out of hand than it was.

"Okay, that's enough!" Vin grabbed Kelli, pulling her back and then facing her, he placed himself between his redhead and Linda. "Settle down, Kel."

Buck grabbed Linda when she tried to take a swing at Kelli. "That goes for you too, Linda." He held onto the angry woman.

"Linda, Grace is awake, maybe you should go see to her." Vin stated calmly, his eyes never leaving his wife.

"I don't need you to tell me what I should do, Tanner!" Linda pulled her arm free of Buck's hold on her and addressed Kelli. "You made your choices Kel, but I promise that you'll regret them. Chris will side with me, not you!"

"That may be, and if it happens, I'll have to live with it. But you hurt that baby with your childish behavior and you'll have more to worry about than me kicking your ass Linda!" Kelli tried to push past Vin, but he would not budge.

"That is not your concern! You want a baby to worry over, have your own because you won't be seeing mine!" With that parting shot the blonde turned around and stomped off.

Buck shook his head. "Something tells me that Chris will never hear about any of this from her."

"Unfortunately you're probably right Buck. I know Linda too well; she'll only tell him if it is to her advantage to do so." Kelli agreed. "Did Matt tell y'all what happened?"

"Yes and he was inclined to let you two go at it. But Kel, this is not the way to get her to listen to reason." Vin answered as he finally let go of Kelli.

"Vin, I wasn't trying to get her to listen to reason, Linda is way past that point. I've just had enough of her bullshit and wanted to kick her ass. I would have too, if you hadn't shown up."

"I never doubted that baby, that's why I stopped you. You need to reconcile yourself to the fact that you and Linda have grown in different directions over the last year or so. She'll have to live with her decisions the same as you will." Tanner grinned. "Besides, do you want to have to explain to Jason why you can fight and he can't? I'm still tryin' to figure out how to explain that 'difference of opinions' stuff to him."

Buck chuckled. "When you figure it out, let me know. I have a feeling I might need to have that conversation with Caleb myself." Wilmington then turned serious. "Kel I have known Chris for twenty plus years, he may be standing on some shaky ground right now, but he won't stay there. It's just not in his nature to let things happen to him, sooner or later he'll get tired of it and the Larabee we know and love will be back with a vengeance. He'll make a stand with Linda, and all this will be just a bad memory."

Vin pulled Kelli up next to him and threw Buck the keys to his truck. "You go on Buck, 'm gonna take the long way home with my wife. Tell the kids we'll be there soon."

"Buck, we put up some meals for y'all this week so Inez can get some extra rest. Ask Max for them when you get to the house."

"Thanks, I will. You two take all the time you need, I've got you covered." Buck was smiling as he walked away.

The Tanners walked slowly back to the Tahoe and stopped when they saw Matt still standing outside.

"Kel, I just wanted to say thanks again for coming to Grace's and my rescue. I don't understand where Linda's mind is right now, but I hope you both know that I don't agree with her. No one, including my baby sister, should ever let their child be nothing more than an afterthought."

"At least we agree on that Dubois." Vin shook his hand and then opened the truck door for Kelli.

Once Vin climbed into the driver's side Kelli had a question. "It's truth time, Tanner. Did you come over here because you somehow knew what Linda had done or because you're still jealous when it comes to Matt?"

The Texan leaned over to claim a long leisurely kiss before he answered and then grinned. "I'm here, because you're here." It would be hours later before Kelli realized that he had not answered her question.

Larabee Home~5:00pm

Chris pulled the Ram up in front of his house and just sat there thinking without getting out. Today's session with his psychotherapist had been a particularly intense one. Impatience was making it difficult to wait for results.Chris wanted to go back to work now, the doctor said not yet. Chris wanted to get on even ground again in his marriage, the doctor said he could take a stand now, but he had to be willing to face the consequences of it. Chris wasn't ready to chance losing Grace. He wanted to sit down and just talk with his best friend and not be uncomfortable when he did it. He couldn't open up to Vin… not yet. He wanted his eldest daughter not to hate him, but…he was afraid it was already too late.

*Damn Chris, all you want is your life back. Why is that so hard to do? Because Larabee, a big part of your life is intertwined with the six men that you call brothers, men that you would give your life to protect, men that cannot even share their work with you without Travis's permission. They are part of your family and the same men that your wife resents and wants you to let go of. They are your friends that you let down when you gave in to those damn pills and lost all sense of reason.*

Wearily, Larabee opened the door to step out of his truck and into the house that should be his retreat from the world, but instead was feeling more like a prison cell each day. Chris knew that the road back to being whole again was through that house; somehow he had to pick up all the pieces that made him who he was, and reconcile them into his life again.

Linda had their entire evening planned and when Chris walked in she set her plans into motion. "Hey darlin', I have your favorite dinner almost ready. Sit down there with Grace and relax while I get you a cold beer."

Chris kissed her on the cheek and smiled. "You do remember how to cook. What's the occasion?"

"Nothing special, I just had a nearly perfect day and felt like cooking." She watched as he went to the refrigerator and pull out a coke instead of a beer." How was your day?"

Larabee sat down next to where Grace was and grinned at her reaction to seeing her daddy. "Okay I guess. Gilford said that physically, I'm doing great."

"I could have told him that." She set a plate down in front of him and took another one for herself before sitting down. "Your body is damn near perfect."

"Only damn near?" Chris was beginning to relax, Linda seemed more like the woman he met and fell in love with. *Maybe you have been overreacting Chris, maybe she hasn't been the one to change. Maybe it was you all along.*

"Grace and I had a fantastic day together, and you will never believe how great the plans for the house are coming along."

Chris resigned himself to hearing about them and having to look at all her new purchases. "Really? Then I suppose you can show them to me after dinner." He hated going over fabric and paint samples, but he did agree to compromise. How bad could it be to recover some furniture and paint a few walls?

"Linda, when you said you wanted to make a few changes; this is not what I was expecting!" Grace was down for the night and dinner was long past. Chris was now looking at the blueprints that were meant to practically rebuild his home.

"Chris, you said I could make this more my home than Sarah's and this is what I want. Besides with a Nanny coming in we have to have a room for her."

"I said a part-time Nanny, Linda, not a live-in one!"

"If we want the best for Grace, we have to be willing to provide for a full-time position. Otherwise we'll have to settle for inferior help. Do you want to compromise on Grace's care?"

"No of course not but…Linda, you are talking about a major renovation here." He pointed to the plans. "That room has always been Ezra's room and now you want to expand it and move a Nanny in there. And move Grace? I thought she would stay in the room we built for her for a long time. Hell, you want to double the square footage of the entire house and add a guest wing? What kind of guests needs their own living quarters and a swimming pool?"

"First of all, Ezra does not live with us, and he has his own home. Second, we need our privacy, and Grace should be closer to the Nanny's quarters. Third, I told you my circle of friends are used to the best and we can damn well afford to indulge them! When people walk in here I want them to see Linda Larabee's home, not Sarah's!

"I'll have to give this some serious thought." Chris already knew he couldn't live this way. Grace needed to be close to them at night, and he wanted his home to be open and comfortable for the Wild Bunch, not some strangers he didn't even know.

"Well you had best think about it quickly. The Nanny that I hired starts in three weeks, and the contractors will be here in the morning!" Linda left him to think about it as Chris heard the bedroom door slam.

*You thought the road to your recovery was through this home, Chris? If it is, it just took a detour through hell.*