Hey guys! So just a heads up , THESE ARE ONE-SHOTS. IF SOMETHING HAPPENED IN A PREVIOUS CHAPTER , IT MAY NOT BE ACCEPTED IN THE LATER CHAPTERS.

For example - If John and Sherlock are together in one chapter , they may not be together in another. I hope that's clear. Any questions , feel free to ask! :D

Meanwhile , send me more characters you'd like to see kiss! Love y'all! Review!

Disclaimer : I don't own Sherlock or BBC or my soul. I sold my soul to Crowley.

Greg Lestrade and Sherlock Holmes

Over the years , Lestrade had formed a full proof technique. A How-To guide , if you will. How To Avoid A Sherlock Temper Tantrum. The steps were as follows -

1) Get out of his way. He will hurt you for sure.

2) Try giving him some cold cases. That always cheers him up.

3) Run.

After Sherlock had met John , however ,his guide changed.

1) Let John handle it.

2) Run.

So when he saw Sherlock coming towards the latest murder scene , fuming , with no John Watson in sight , he knew he was going to have to deal with Sherlock's temper tantrum himself.

He was prepared for soothing words when he saw Mycroft walking behind Sherlock , looking equally pissed off.

Now Lestrade didn't get to see Mycroft in his work because they obviously had very different jobs. But when they did meet , Lestrade enjoyed it very much.

While Lestrade was busy with his thoughts , Sherlock was already looking at the body, whilst fuming , of course.

"Hello , Sherlock" , he tried saying as cheerfully as he could while Sherlock just glared at him , offering no greeting in return.

"Hello , Mycroft" , Lestrade turned to Mycroft who's gaze turned softer. But from steel soft to rock soft, maybe.

"DON'T TALK TO HIM , LESTRADE" , Sherlock barked at Lestrade and he signed. It was going to be a long night.

"Okay boys. Lemme have it. Sherlock , what did Mycroft do and Mycroft why are you following him around crime scenes?" , Lestrade asked very patiently for a man who was standing beside a dead body.

Sherlock jumped up from where he was examining the woman and growled. Actually growled.

"Do you know about the cold cases you sent me?" , he asked in a deep voice and Lestrade nodded. Anything was better than Sherlock getting high.

"Brother dear" - and he spat this word like venom - "was at my house, looking at my files. The files who's cases I hadn't solved and he solved them. In two seconds" , he growled and Mycroft grinned triumphantly for a moment before his mouth settling into a vacant expression.

"And my brother is refusing to help in a very important government matter because of this petty feud" , Mycroft said. He looked bored on the outside but Lestrade knew he was practically gloating on the inside.

"Where's John?" , Lestrade blurted out. He would have solved this , Lestrade thought internally.

"America. He has some bloody doctor's conference" , Sherlock said , tapping his foot impatiently.

You're going to have to deal with this yourself , boy. Come on! You can do this! , Lestrade's inner mind said. His mind was an excellent cheerleader.

"Now Sherlock. Your brother just solved us some cases. Its all fi-" , he said but was interrupted by Sherlock's yelling.

"You're just siding with him because you're both engaging in sexual intercourse with each other!" , he screamed and Thank God there weren't many police officers around the scene except for a few who turned to face Lestrade with a shocked expression.

Meanwhile , Mycroft's eyes narrowed. Sherlock had made is personal. Oh dear.

"Just because Gregory and I are together , does not make me any less right , brother mine" , he said , smiling like the evil villain in a Scooby Doo cartoon.

"Oh and would I be more right if I did this?" , Sherlock said and grabbed Lestrade's collars and before he could react , kissed him.

Sherlock tasted vaguely of peanut butter. And he used teeth. A lot of teeth.

Lestrade let out a strangled cry and pushed Sherlock back.

"I'm gonna lock you up for assaulting a detecti-" , he shouted at the childish detective but before he could complete his sentence , yet again , Mycroft Holmes did something he'd never done in his life.

He punched Sherlock in the face.

Sherlock recoiled and was thrown on the ground and Mycroft threw himself on top of Sherlock. He started punching Sherlock and Sherlock , who was more quick and agile , grabbed Mycroft's hands and easily flipped him on his back. Snarling , he landed a good few punches on Mycroft before Mycroft used his weight to his advantage , and rolled Sherlock whilst punching like a madman.

Lestrade was too shocked to do anything for a few moments , but seeing that they were contaminating his crime scene , he signed.

"Boys!" , he signalled to two police officers and they came over to him. He leaned over and gave them instructions while Sherlock and Mycroft rolled on the ground.

The police offers broke up the fight pretty quick.

Sherlock looked awful with messy hair and a bloody nose.

Mycroft's fancy suit was ruined and tattered. He had a split lip and his beloved umbrella was broken.

"Mycroft Holmes and Sherlock Holmes , you are arrested for being twats at my crime scene" , he said calmly as the police offers cuffed the Holmes brothers.

"I'M THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT!" , Mycroft protested and Sherlock looked horrified. "I can't go to the holding pen , Lestrade!" , he said and Lestrade shook his head. "Sorry boys. 10 hours in the holding pen to work your issues out. Take 'em in boys" , he said and the Holmes brothers were dragged to the holding pen , kicking the screaming.

When Mycroft came to Lestrade's home , he had managed to clean up nice. His lip was bandaged and his suit was immaculate as ever and his umbrella was changed. But his faced was fixed in a permanent frown. Lestrade almost laughed at the grown man pouting. But Lestrade gave Mycroft a long , deep kiss anyway.

"Sorry I had to keep you in the holding pen" , he said and Mycroft, smiling now, waved his hand. "I got Sherlock to listen to me in a place he couldn't possible escape from. It was refreshing" , he smiled sweetly and Lestrade smiled too.

"Thank you for protecting my honour" , Lestrade joked , wrapping his arms around Mycroft's neck and Mycroft laughed.

"All in a day's work , Gregory" , he replied and they kissed once again.

I hope you liked this! I love you all! Stay fresh! (why did i say that?)

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