Chapter 3

Simon watched as Gene walked to his filing cabinet, fished out his scotch and placed two glasses on the desk. He filled them both with the rich liquid and slid one across to Simon. Simon looked at it a little incredulously.

"It's medicinal" Gene told him, "for the shock."

Since Kim had taught him to drink beer Simon had left Gene's scotch well alone. He didn't like the taste or the smell of the stuff, but considering the way he felt the strong alcohol might be just what he needed.

"Thanks," he said.

Gene picked up his glass and stated to pace up and down. He looked at Simon.

"Bloody pain in the arse, streak of piss, she was.

Simon's mouth dropped open. He could hardly believe what Gene was saying, Hadn't he heard you shouldn't speak ill of the dead?

"What?" He cried.

"Stringer," Gene explained, "came in here, bloody insubordinate woman, stealing me liquor, buggering off down the piercing place every day and drinking herself stupid at night. Couldn't stand 'er. Dreaded the sight of her miserable features coming in the office in the morning,." He paused and stared at Simon. "And then," he said, "she met you. And you helped her. Gave her a place to stay, helped her get on with her work, gave her a shoulder to cry on, gave her a friend to talk to.," he paused. "Gave her hope. And Simon, that's the most we can ever hope to do."

Simon stared at gene. He wasn't sure where he'd been going with those words to begin with, Now he found a lump in his throat.

"She was my friend," he said quietly, "what am I going to do without her?"

"You pick yourself up and carry on," said Gene, "which is what we always do. We always have done. "

Simon picked up his glass and stared onto it. It gave him a visual distraction while he spoke.

"I let her down."

"No, you didn'y."

"You told me I had, and you were right."

"I was upset. Didn't mean it like that," Gene said gruffly.

"Yes you did," said Simon, "and you're right." He shook his head slowly. "I didn't know she was mine. How can you tell?"

Gene breathed in deeply.

"December," he said, "Stringer got shot. You told me, it wasn't her time." He looked at Simon seriously. "You made that call because, somehow, she'd been transferred to you. No need for paperwork. She fitted in with you. You made a good team."

Simon gave a sad smile.

"That we were," he said quietly.

Gene held up his glass.

"To Stringer, and her hundred and one metal bits," he said.

Simon gave a sad smile.

"And to two thousand and three," he said quietly.

They clinked glasses, sipped their drinks and Simon pulled a face. Gene walked slowly to the door, glass in hand. "Take yer time. Shoebury. Finish yer drink, get yer breath back and get to work. The world keeps turning, son."

Simon stared at the bottle on the desk as Gene left. His head was spinning but it wasn't from the sip of scotch. He felt empty and isolated, he'd lost his only real friend and he had no idea how he was going to survive without Kim around. The world was suddenly a very lonely place. Get on with work? How the hell was he ever going to do that when he couldn't even think about anything beyond how he was going to survive without his best friend?

"Sod that," he said, shaking his head.

With that he did the only thing he felt he could do. The ultimate tribute to Kim.

He pilfered Gene's bottle of scotch and buggered off to get absolutely steaming drunk.

~xXx~

Alex couldn't have felt much worse as she trudged to uniform. Her heart felt so heavy. Through the whole time that Shaz's arrival in the scene had been traumatising her she had focused on the fact that Shaz was going to die. Never once did she think about what would happen to Shaz when Kim went home.

"Excuse me," she said to the officer on duty, "could you tell me if PC Granger is here?"

"She's in the briefing room," the officer told her.

"Is she on her own?" Alex asked awkwardly.

"I shouldn't think so," frowned the officer.

"Is there somewhere I could take her?" Alex asked quietly, "I'm afraid I have some," she swallowed, "some upsetting news for her."

The officer looked a little alarm.

"I'm sure there is," she said, "I'll bring her out for you."

"Thank you," Alex said quietly. She tapped her feet nervously against the desk. She would have done anything to escape this situation. The thought of telling Shaz something so shattering almost made her own heart break. She stared on as she saw the officer approaching with Shaz, who seemed pleased to see her.

"Oh hello," she smiled, "fancy seeing you down here! Have you come to wish me luck?"

The officer pointed down the corridor.

"You can use the room on the right," She said.

"Thank you," Alex said with a weak smile.

"What's going on?" Shaz asked quietly.

Alex put an arm around Shaz's shoulder and began to lead her away.

"I've got some news for you, Shaz," she said quietly. She opened the door and waved her in. "It's not good." She saw panic on her face. "I think you'd better sit down.

Shaz slowly sank into a chair and looked at Alex anxiously.

"You're making me nervous." She whispered.

Alex stared at her big, dark innocent eyes and tears began to fall. She tried to hold them back but she couldn't.

"Oh Shaz," she whispered,. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Shaz's face became pale, "You're scaring me now."

Alex sank down beside her and looked at her with tearful eyes.

"Shaz," she began, "this morning Kim went out to attend a hostage situation, " her voice began to break up, "and she didn't make it back," she could barely speak now but managed to keep going, "she saved a young woman from a crazed man with a knife, but sadly, she…. She couldn't… save herself."

Shaz stared. She didn't move, she didn't speak. Her eyes were wide and there was a terrible tightness across her chest. She began to ask what Alex meant but she could see the answer written all over her face. There was no doubt, no shred of doubt that Kim hadn't survived. He found herself taking huge gulps of air, but they did no good. The oxygen wouldn't go round her body. She clutched her hand to her chest and gasped.

"Oh god… oh god… oh my god, no…" streams of tears began to fall in an instant as her whole face crumbled and her body began to lose control. "Oh god, Kim, no…" she wept loudly and uncontrollably.

Alex swallowed and tried to keep herself together but that was an impossible task. She wrapped her arms around her and held her, trying to bring her just a little comfort but she knew that her arms offered nothing to the girl who'd just lost the love of her life.

"I'm sorry," she whispered "Shaz, I'm so sorry."

"Oh no… oh god, no," Shaz's cried were tortured and terrible, she couldn't stop screaming and crying as the truth began to sink in.

Alex wished so dearly that she could tell her the truth. She longed to tell her that Kim was safe, well and living her life out there but even if Shaz understood that they'd never be together again. She had to stick with the half lie, remembering the sight of Kim laying in her arms. There was nothing easy about the world, nothing at all. This was just another reminder.