Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Nor Sweeney Todd. In fact, I own nothing by Stephen Sondheim. If I did own either, Sam and Kurt would be doing much more in the shower, and Helena Bonham Carter would not have been cast as Mrs. Lovett. It would have been Angela Lansbury. Or Patti Lupone.

Chapter 4: Worst Pancakes in Lima

A thin stream of light illuminated what would otherwise be a pitch black room. The sun shone through the slightly cracked basement window, casting a light shade of gray over everything in the room. Nothing stirred. Popcorn lay scattered on the floor from the previous night's food fight. Half empty soda cans sit on the table, where they had been placed. Blankets were strewn across the room. Sam lay on the couch, seemingly grasping thin air. His arms were strew, as if a body that had been lying next to him had moved, leaving him alone. All was still for another moment. Then, within a moment, Sam's eyes were opened and he was taking in his surroundings. He smiled. Then, seemingly realizing that Kurt was no longer lying next to him, he rose.

Sam was a mess. His hair was full of static and stuck out in weird places, unnaturally. His tee shirt, a ratty sleeping shirt of Marvel's Universe Characters, was riding up in the back. As Sam yawned and moved to pull down the shirt, he realized that he was no longer in his boxers from last night. Sam thought for a moment. Didn't I take those off earlier?

During the middle of the night (around six thirty in the morning), Sam had woken up to use the bathroom. He had stumbled through the room, tripping over things, before making it to the bathroom. Not wanting to wake Kurt, he had kept the light off as he relieved himself. As he was washing his hands, he slipped on the waxed marble floor, spilling water all over his sweatpants. Cursing silently to himself, he had stripped himself of the dripping pants, content with snuggling up to Kurt in his boxers. He found, however, that he was no longer looking at his boxers, but a pair of silk pajamas. Quickly checking under the pajamas, he sighed with the realization that he was still wearing his boxers. He smiled; obviously Kurt was worried about him getting cold at night. Or he didn't want to sleep with a practically nude Sam. Sam frowned. He hoped that wasn't the case.

Ever since Sam Evans had set sight on the boy, he knew he was in love. Kurt was perfect; he had this amazing voice that soared over everyone else's in Glee club; he was super-sexy in his fashionable skinny jeans that showed off his perfect little- Sam stopped thinking those dangerous thoughts immediately. He was in Kurt's house, and he definitely didn't want to creep out the kid. But still, Kurt was amazing. Sam had been so hurt when Kurt had ended the duet. He was just happy that he was getting to know the contra tenor better now. Plus, there was Le Jazz Hot, which was hot. Like, sizzling hot. He had to run for the bathroom afterwards just from watching it... Oh, wow. To much information. Brain overload. Think of Beiste. Think of Beiste! Sam sighed in relief as his arousal disappeared. Thank Eywa. Sam turned to survey the room before slowly stumbling towards the stairs.

As Sam moved up the stairs, he heard Kurt singing. Sam smiled; he loved hearing Kurt sing. What's more, the boy was singing out of pure joy, it seemed.

"In the meanwhile,

There are mouths to be kissed

Before mouths to be fed,

And a lot in between

In the meanwhile.

And a girl ought to celebrate what passes by."

Sam stood for a moment at the kitchen door, admiring the sight before him. Kurt sung to himself, dancing and swaying as he chopped up strawberries. Bacon was sizzling on the stove. However, on the table before him sat what looked like the most disgusting pancakes in existence.

They were black. Literally black. The pancakes were about the size of hockey pucks, and burnt, with crispy edges. They oozed melted chocolate. They were vomit inducing.

Kurt turned around to grab something from the fridge when he noticed Sam. His cheeks turned rosy as he smiled at the jock.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. How was your rest?"

"Great. What are those?" Sam pointed at the hockey pucks on the kitchen table. "Why do the pancakes look like hockey pucks?"

Kurt giggled, covering his mouth. "Finn made them. He stopped by earlier this morning, to apologize for- something. He made them before he went to Rachel's house. I felt bad throwing them away," Kurt stifled a chuckle. "He seemed so- proud of them. I guess cooking anything is a feat for Frankenteen."

"Aw. That was sweet of him. I guess we do have to eat them," Sam grimaced. "Why did you wake up so early?"

"I wanted to make breakfast for us. So I got up, and Finn was in the kitchen. He refused my help. After he left, I put the bacon on and started making my signature smoothies."

"Your signature smoothies? Yum. I can't wait to taste them."

Something about the way Sam stated his excitement for Kurt's smoothies caused Kurt's already pink cheeks to become a fervent red. A silence echoed for a moment before Kurt dumped the bacon on a plate, setting it on the table. He turned on the blender, and, after about thirty seconds, poured two smoothies into two glasses. He sat down opposite Sam and smiled.

"To us. As friends, and partners. May we succeed."

"To us!" As more than just friends... Sam thought to himself as he downed part of the smoothie.

"How do you like it?"

"Oh my Eywa, it's amazing. Like, seriously. Best smoothie ever. You are totally making me one like everyday. 'Cause they are the bomb. Seriously."

Kurt laughed, and smiled back at Sam. "I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. It's my specialty. And I'm glad that you just implied that you will indeed be coming back over. I don't know about you, but I had fun."

"I had a great time, Kurt. Thank you for the advice last night. You're a great person, and a great friend."

Kurt sniffled for a moment, grinning back. He really liked Sam. He was sweet, and thoughtful and they seemed to mesh well together. He thought for a moment.

"Would you like to stay a little later? I was thinking we could maybe start going over audition stuff. You know, for Sweeney."

Sam nodded. "I would love that."

...

"Okay, so take a deep breath and start again. Remember your motivations in the song. And from the top."

Kurt and Sam stood in Kurt's bedroom, which was covered with audition material. Kurt had brought down a keyboard, which he plugged it to use. His bookshelf was torn apart; all of his Sweeney books were in a pile. Kurt currently had the score open at the keyboard, and Stephen Sondheim's Finishing the Hat open at his feet. He was madly turning the pages of both books as he played the accompaniment to Sam's audition song. Kurt had decided to prepare Sam first. He could always pull something together later on. They had spent the past hour working, searching through the score of Sondheim's masterpiece for the perfect audition number. They had eventually settled on the current selection.

"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit

And it's filled with people who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it.

But not for long...

They all deserve to die-"

Sam suddenly stopped, turning to Kurt. Kurt reluctantly stopped playing Epiphany. He turned and faced the blond.

"I'm just not feeling it."

"What?"

"The emotions. I get that this is an amazingly emotional song, but I feel like there's no build. I haven't been experiencing what has happened. I haven't been doing the whole show; I'm out of sync. I feel like there is no emotional connection."

"Okay. I get that. Do you want to try something else?"

Sam smiled. Do you want to try something else. Quinn had certainly never asked something like that. Just as she thought she was forcing him to be Anthony, she always assumed Sam was fine. Besides, it wasn't his fault she assumed that they were now dating. He never said anything of the sort. He just wasn't prepared to publicly announce his feelings to the entire school. Especially if he didn't know whether Kurt returned those feelings. Sam was prepared to tell her on Monday, though. He didn't want to drag her along with him. It wouldn't be the right thing to do.

"Yeah. I don't really know what else I could try. Have any suggestions?"

Kurt sat in silence for a moment, in deep thought. He finally nodded.

"Two choices. You could do Barber and His Wife. That would require only getting into character for the beginning of the show. Or you could do My Friends."

"Isn't that a duet?"

"Yeah. We could always cut the duet part, though. You could just sing the first verse and then the Sweeney part of the second verse."

"Or we could audition together."

"Together?"

"Yeah. We probably could do a better job together than alone."

Kurt thought for a moment. It was true. The best way to show that they deserved to be cast would be to show their chemistry together. It would go a long way with Mr. Shue.

"Alright. We'll sing together. But do you really think My Friends would be a good choice? What about A Little Priest?"

"I think My Friends is a little more emotional, don't you? Little Priest is all about puns and stuff. Not saying it's not an amazing song, but I think the two of us could do wonders with My Friends."

"It's hard to argue with your impeccable logic. My Friends it is."

Sam smiled. "My Friends. Let's get started."

...

Sam howled with laughter, holding Kurt to steady himself. The contra tenor, however, was not of much help, as he too was cackling so much that he threatened to topple over.

"Seriously, they were, like, the absolute worst pancakes I have ever had."

"Oh, don't make fun of poor Finn. It's the thought that counts."

"You're right, but did you taste them?"

"No. I thought about how hideous those hockey pucks would look sticking out of my side, where they are bound to appear on you, and my appetite suddenly... disappeared."

"Oh well, I'll just go to the gym. These babies will be ready to cut diamonds again," Sam stated, lifting his shirt up and exposing his abs.

Kurt giggled flirtatiously and moved closer to Sam.

"But seriously, they were gross. They were like The worst pancakes, in Lima!" Sam started singing, replacing the original lyrics with his own.

"And no wonder with the price of meat

What it is

When you get it

Never

Thought I'd live to see the day

Men'd think it was a treat

Findin' poor

Animals

Wot are dyin' in the street!"

Sam sung, prancing about the room. Kurt laughed and joined him, singing along.

"Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!

Does a business but I notice something weird.

Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!

Have to hand it to her -

Wot I calls

Enterprise

Poppin' pussies into pies!

Wouldn't do in my shop!

Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!

And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!

No denying times is hard, sir

Even harder than the worst pancakes in Lima!

Only lard and nothing more -

Is that just revolting,

All greasy and gritty?

It looks like it's molting,

And tastes like,

Well, pity

A woman alone,

With limited wind,

And the worst pancakes in Lima!

Ah, sir, times is hard,

Times is hard!"

The two boys ended the song on the couch, giggling and feeling incredibly happy. As Kurt turned to look at Sam, he noticed the boy was eyeing him. Sam's face slowly moved closer and closer in Kurt's vision; and just when it was almost close enough so their lips could touch, the door burst open.

"Hey, Kurt, Sam, I'm home!" Finn bounded into the room, full of his usual energy, completely unaware of the sexual tension he was creating by his disturbance. Cockblock. Sam quickly pulled away from Kurt. He turned, and stammered what was probably the stupidest thing in his life:

"I, um, I'm sorry, but I, ah, have to go. Quinn is waiting for me. My girlfriend is waiting for me. I'm sorry."

Sam fled from Kurt's house, silently cursing himself as he continued walking. He hadn't meant to say that. He was so stupid. My girlfriend. Why can't I be more like Kurt? Why can't I be brave like him. God, he must hate me now, leading him on like that. I have to rectify my mistake, before it comes back to haunt me. Immediately.

A/N: Suspense! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Read and review. Reviews are love. Seriously, you don't know how happy I get when I check my email to find a story, favorite or author alert. And I get even happier when there are reviews. So review.