Chapter 4! I'm so excited. I hope you all are too! Oh ho ho, you guys only think we're gettin' somewhere with the romance! This story is still in it's newborn stage! There is a big big BIG plot I have planned. Get pumped! I know I am! As always, reviews are so very appreciated. Enjoy the story! xx- Rabbit
Jim awoke with the sun, much to his despair. He was groggy and exhausted, but his mind refused to let him fall back asleep. His sleepiness was harshly abated, however, when he realised he was still in Spock's arms. His heart fluttered at their contact, his head on Spock's chest, Spock's arms tight around him, and their legs tangled together. He didn't dare move out of fear of waking the Vulcan, and tried to remain as still as he could, relishing their touch, although he was unsure why.
"Good morning," he heart a smooth voice say.
"How long have you been up?" Jim rasped, startled.
"Not long. I awoke approximately thirteen minutes before you," Spock replied. Spock had anticipated that Jim would move to break their embrace as quickly as possible, a thought which saddened him deeply, but his Captain didn't move. Jim expected a similar reaction from Spock, but felt himself growing happier by the second when Spock continued to hold him.
"I hope this doesn't… y'know… weird you out or anything…" Jim stated nervously.
"It does not," Spock said slowly.
"Really?" Jim asked. "I thought you hated being touched. And we're definitely touching."
"It is true that I often dislike physical contact. Being bombarded by the thoughts and emotions of others is often unpleasant when it is unexpected."
"Oh, yeah. Touch telepath and all. Got it. I'll move," Jim said, beginning to shift. He hesitated when Spock's arms didn't loosen any.
"I do not recall saying I wish for you to leave," Spock said softly. Jim almost thought he heard a twinge of rejection in Spock's voice, but he refused to allow himself to believe that. There was no way Spock felt anything for him… was there? Not that it mattered, Jim thought firmly. Jim didn't feel anything for Spock apart from a deep friendship. That was what he repeated in his head, at least. Although it seemed the more he repeated it, the less he believed it.
Despite knowing that Spock was a touch telepath, Jim had no idea how to shield his thoughts and was too groggy to realize that Spock had heard the internal war going on inside Jim's head. He heard, too, when Jim noticed that Spock's shirt had slid up and was exposing several inches of his toned abdomen, his abdominal muscles showing even though they were completely relaxed. He felt a gentle surge of desire from Jim to touch his bare skin.
"Jim," Spock breathed, his voice barely above a whisper, betraying the desire that he felt as well. Jim looked up into those familiar eyes, lit up a fiery amber in the dawn light filtering through the windows, and he felt as if he were seeing them for the first time. Spock opened his mouth to speak again, but his words were cut off before they began by the call alert sounding off from the communicator on the nightstand. The spell broken, Jim smiled weakly at Spock.
"Guess I should answer that," he mumbled. Spock nodded mutely, feeling dejected and empty.
"I will make us tea," Spock said softly, standing and leaving the room. Jim felt every bit as miserable as Spock, but he forced some cheer into his voice when he answered the communicator.
"How's everyone's favourite suicidal maniac?" McCoy said merrily, his face popping up on the screen.
"Fantastic now that I'm not in that awful room," Kirk countered, forcing a smile. "Seriously, why the hell does everything have to be white?"
"Oh, quit your whining. How'd you sleep? Decently? Is Spock there?"
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, Spock is here. I slept pretty well. Had a rough time at first, but I was fine after that," Jim replied, hoping his voice didn't betray anything.
"Good. Listen, you tell me if you start having any problems. I'm your doctor, but I'm also your best friend. I wanna make sure you're okay." Jim smiled genuinely now at the concern of the man who was like a brother to him.
"Will do, Bones."
"Well, that's all I've got. Guess I'll let you go. Oh, and Jim?"
"Yeah, Bones?"
"Get some more blankets. There's no way Spock was warm enough with that thin blanket you've got there." Jim blanched instantly. So Bones knew. How the hell did he know? He heard Bones laugh before he ended the video call, and Jim looked around. He let out a frustrated groan when he realized the entire bed had been dishevelled, and there was a faint imprint in the sheets from where Spock had been laying. He composed himself before getting out of the bed, roughly throwing the sheets and the duvet back in place. He walked into the kitchen of his apartment to see Spock setting at the bar, his posture ever perfect, with two steaming cups. Jim saw that the one in front of him was herbal tea, but he smiled when he saw the cup for him.
"You made me coffee," Jim said.
"I assumed you would want the caffeine," Spock replied, admiring the sight of his Captain. His pyjama pants had fallen even lower on his hips, exposing the deep 'V' lines of his lower abdomen, and his hair was beautifully mussed from sleep. He hadn't shaved since he had been put into the coma, but Spock found his short beard to be surprisingly attractive. Little did Spock know that Jim was eyeing him appreciatively as well. Spock's lithe form was almost breath taking to Jim, with his lean muscles and ever-perfect appearance. He sat down next to the Commander, sipping his coffee gratefully. To his surprise, it was exactly how he usually made it.
"What did you put in this?" he asked.
"Approximately twelve point five grams of sugar, and thirty millilitres of cream. I believe that is how you usually request your coffee, is it not?" Jim was dumbfounded at the accuracy to which Spock knew how Jim liked his coffee.
"That's… that's perfect, Spock. I had no idea you know little things like this about me," Jim said gently.
"I take great care to learn the preferences of those I care for," Spock said, looking away. Jim thought he saw the tip of Spock's ear turn ever so lightly green, but he couldn't be sure. "My mother always spoke of the importance of 'the little things' as she phrased it. She told me often how nostalgia is made up of what once seemed like insignificant details. I have tried to remember what she said and live by it." Spock's heart flooded with sadness remembering his mother, but he was brought out of his sombre thoughts by Jim's hand, cool in comparison to his Vulcan skin, on his shoulder.
"I wish I could have met her," Jim said. Spock felt his eyes sting as tears threatened to spring from them, but he kept his composure.
"I believe she would have been very fond of you, had she known you," Spock replied, his voice cracking at the end. Jim allowed his instincts to take over and he wrapped his arms around Spock. After hesitating, Spock returned the embrace when he felt the care and worry radiating from Jim.
"I'm so sorry. I never told you how sorry I am," Jim whispered, unconsciously pressing a gentle kiss to Spock's temple. Spock shuddered noticeably at the feeling of Jim's lips against his skin, and Jim broke the hug.
"I'm… shit, I'm sorry. I didn't… that wasn't…" he began, but Spock cut him off.
"There is no need to apologise, Jim. I care for you deeply. From you, affection is… welcome." Jim blushed brightly, but he felt a pang of sadness. So Spock just cared for him. He saw him as a close friend. Which they were, Jim reasoned. So why was he so depressed suddenly? It didn't make any sense to his conscious mind, but he smiled anyway.
"So, what's the plan for today?" he asked. Spock considered the question for a moment before answering.
"If I am to be caring for you while you recover, it would be logical for me to stay here, if that is permissible."
"Of course," Jim exclaimed, perhaps a bit too quickly.
"In that case, I must go to my apartment to gather clothing and other necessities. Would you like to accompany me, or would you prefer to rest here?" Spock asked.
"Is that even a real question? Of course I want to go with you. I don't want to end up hating this place as much as I hated that damn hospital room!"
"Very well. Might I suggest that you shower first?" Spock suggested.
"You calling me ugly?" Jim asked with a grin.
"I do not believe there is any way in which you would not be attractive," Spock replied bluntly. Jim felt himself blush again and turned to head to the bathroom.
"Thanks. Well, I guess I'll get cleaned up." Spock nodded and sat down on the sofa with his tea while Jim showered. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't quell his desire to join Jim in the shower, wishing desperately to feel his Captain in his arms again. After valiantly fighting with his mind, he was able to still his thoughts and enter a mild meditative state, but it was shattered easily when he heard Jim exit the bathroom. He had a grey towel wrapped around his waist, the rest of his bare skin still glistening with water. Spock found himself admiring how truly beautiful his superior was to him.
"Spock, think you could help me out?" Jim asked. Spock stood immediately and strode over to Jim. He was nearly left breathless when he noticed that Jim hadn't shaven, opting instead to tidy up his short beard.
"What is it you need assistance with?" Spock said, his voice coming out softer than he had wanted and quivering slightly.
"Could you get my suitcase from the top of my closet? My clothes are in it, and whoever the idiot was that put my stuff in here for me thought it was a good idea to put the suitcase up there. Standing up for so long is really starting to wear me down, so I didn't think it'd be a good idea to get it down myself." Spock walked to the closet and pulled the suitcase down, not knowing that Jim was unconsciously enjoying the sight of the muscles in Spock's back moving under his tight shirt as he took down the suitcase.
"Thanks, Spock," Jim said gratefully.
"You are welcome, Jim," Spock replied. "Do you need any further assistance?"
"I think I'll be okay. Maybe stay in here just in case though?"
"Of course," Spock said, respectfully turning around so that Jim could change. He heard the shuffling of clothes and the jingle of a belt before he heard Jim hiss in pain. He turned and was at Jim's side in an instant, catching him as he fell. They both gasped at the electricity they felt upon their skin contacting so fully, but Spock remained strong and gently lifted Jim to sit on the bed. Through their touch, Jim was surprised to find that he could feel Spock's emotions as his shields had fallen slightly, and he felt overwhelming concern and… love? No. No, it couldn't be.
"Thanks," he breathed. "Guess my legs just gave out on me." He had managed to get his underwear and pants on before he collapsed, and he carefully reached down to pick out a grey, long-sleeved Henley shirt. Spock forced himself to avert his eyes as Jim pulled on the form-fitting shirt, and nearly gasped when Jim placed his hand on Spock's wrist.
"I'm really glad I have you," Jim said quietly.
"I am glad to have you in my life as well," Spock replied. Jim didn't realise that he had begun gently rubbing Spock's wrist with his thumb, nor did he realise that he was making Spock's heart race. Spock had his mental shields firmly back in place, otherwise he would have felt the desire that Spock was desperately fighting down.
"Spock?" Jim asked. "Do you… do you believe in soulmates?" Spock's breath caught in his throat.
"I am… unsure. The idea does seem to have validity," he replied slowly. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, I dunno. Just something about you gets me thinking about things," Jim said, standing. Spock stood with him, his arms ready to catch Jim again if the need arose. His face was as calm and composed as ever, but Jim could see the worry in his dark eyes. They were so very human sometimes.
"Let's go get your stuff," Jim said, smiling at him. And Spock felt himself taken aback yet again at how much this human had managed to get under his skin. Maybe what Nyota and Dr. McCoy had told him had some validity after all.