Lin: So..Just about two years, I believe, have passed since I updated. I dunno what to say truly..Just hope life is going good for anyone, if anyone, is reading.

I'm not gonna promise utter amazement, I will tell you that now. I have some ideas going around and some research to do for it, so maybe I can get this thing on it's crappy feet again. Maybe.

It should be noted tho, that I changed something in the first and third chapter. See, I looked back and noticed that Sora was wearing a tee-shirt. Not something one would wear when trying to hide scars. So, I changed his tee-shirt to a long sleeve shirt. Sorry, I should of realized that early, dunno how I did not.

I have also decided to say fuck warnings. If I throw something at you that you find horrifying and simply can not stand to read, that's fine. Exit is on your left.

Italic is memories/flashbacks as well. There will be a memory in here instead of a journal entry.

This chapter is in: Sora's POV.

"Sora?" I can hear Roxas's voice a little in front of me where I am sitting on my new bed with my head down. "We're back, finally. You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry about the wait." I can now hear Axel. He sounds like he is right next to Roxas. "We got, ah, lost."

"No..," Is that Riku's voice now? Wow..all in front of me...as if they care. "You were just being a ass, Axel."

"Well, we got food out of it, so it's all good." Axel sounds happy. "So, Sora. Hungry?"

Not even close. How am I suppose to eat after what just happened to me? But..I gotta fake it. Can't let them know...

"Mmm," I look up, hoping I look happy. "I guess..."

"Do you still have a headache?" Roxas steps up closer to me.

"No..," Yes, I do. It's worse now, but I'm not gonna let Roxas know that. "I'm fine, now."

"You don't sound it," I can practically hear Riku frowning. "You sound worse."

Maybe that's because I do feel worse. I mean..Sephiroth..

"Really, I'm fine." I don't dare look any of them in the eye. So, instead, I look at their arms. "So..what did ya get?"

Grinning like a manic that he properly was, Axel walked over and dumped the bag that was in his arms onto Riku's bed.

"Hey!" Riku walks over to his bed. "Why mine?"

"'Cause Sora is already sitting on his," Axel grins. "Plus, I don't want to get Sora's bed messy..yet.."

"But mine is fine to put food all over?" Riku does not fully sound pissed, but he might be..

"Yes." Axel walks over to me and reaches a hand out. "Come on..Food!"

Smiling weakly, I grab his hand and was about to get up myself when Axel decides to help. Instead of holding his hand still so that I could get up, he pulls me as soon as I grab his hand. Landing on his chest, for properly the third{1} time today, I'm not fully shocked. I feel his arm snake around my waist and pick me up, placing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. From the other side of the room, I hear Roxas let out a sound of annoyance but Axel ignores him in favor of turning around and carrying me over to Riku's bed. When close enough, he drops me gently onto Riku's bed while leaning down so that we are eye to eye.

"Sorry, this is the last stop." He says, still looking at me.

"Thanks..," I mutter, leaning back slightly so that he can not see my eyes. If he stays close for to long, he might begin to notice..

"You didn't have to carry him," Roxas is next to Axel. "He can walk, ya know."

"But," Axel whines. "He looked so tried.."

"Well, duh. He has been dealing with you all day."

"Your just saying that because you love me."

"What? Hello. I just met you and-"

"So? Love at first sight."

"There is-"

"But, sorry, Roxas. My love is for Sora."

"Sora? Like I'd let you date him.."

"Why not? Sora loves me to, right?"

"Ya know," Riku jets in. "He might be tried because all he has heard today was basically your arguing with each other. Right, Sora?"

...Huh? Wait, me? Oops.

"Um, yeah.." I say, looking at the floor. "Yeah.."

"Let's eat," Riku comes over and begins to look in the bag. "We'll all feel better after that."

Not really, Riku..Nothing is going to help me forget what happened and what I am involved in now. Arg, what did I get myself into..

--Flashback--

"Good," Sephiroth smirked and reached over to lick my left cheek. "Very good, Sora."

"..What do you want me to do?" I asked, a bit scared. If I am remembering correctly from what Cloud has said about Sephiroth, then I think I am in big trouble..

Very big trouble.

Oh shit, what if Cloud finds out, or what if Roxas finds out? Or Riku? Or Axel? Or..Well, anyone really. But, then again, they can't know about the other thing, which basically got me into this mess so..

"Oh, we shall figure it out as time goes by," He replied simply before standing up and pulling me up as well.

"Your light," He noted. "Very light needed. I like that.."

..Oh, shit.

"Let's clean you up," He continued, taking my hand. "Can't let anyone know you were sad, now can we?"

Tugging on my hand, I have no choice but to follow Sephiroth as he leads me into the bathroom I have to share. Damn it, why did I not just go in there to cut? I had to be that much of a dumb ass and cut right in the middle of my damn dorm room without the bloody door locked so any fucking person could just fucking walk right in and fucking catch me. Just look at you now! You got caught, cause you let your bloody 'needs' take over! How weak can you fucking get?

"No need to scold yourself mentally," Sephiroth chimes in as we reach the bathroom. "You should be thanking your lucky stars that you were caught by me. Imagine if you were caught by anyone else! Why, Cloud would have been told by now and just image how disappointed he would be that his adorable brother is a cutter!"

..Yup, just hit me while I'm down. Go ahead, why not now bring up some more about me?

"Although..It makes me wonder.." He continues to chat as he makes me sit down on the floor of the bathroom. "Cutters commonly have more than one secret sin that they commit, I wonder what else you commit? Ah, no, do not tell me now! I want to find out for myself! Now, let me see those lovely arms.."

Like I would ever tell you anything. I know how to take care of myself, I know what I am doing. I can clean my own cuts out, I have been doing it for awhile now. Still, he is looking at me expectantly so I let out a soft sigh before holding out both arms weakly. He grins as he grabs onto my arms and pulls up the sleeve on my left arm, seeing how my right one was already up and my wrist was already bleeding.

"Ooo, look at all of these!" He exclaims. "All these pretty scars, some fresh! Some old! Hm..From how white some of these are, they have to be pretty old..Still, you seem to know at least a little bit about healing without magic..Not everything though. Do not worry! Dr. Sephiroth is here now!"

Okay, what the fuck? Seriously? Is this normal or something?

Without even moving, or so it seems to me, Sephiroth has a bucket next to him along with a few, small, hand towels. I wonder if Sephiroth has a weapon..Or if he likes to fight..Still, that does not explain how all that stuff suddenly appeared next to him..Or maybe I was just not paying atte-

I am caught off mid thought as I feel myself being pushed down gently. My head hits the floor with a dull thud, but I do not even feel it. I'm rather confused right now, thanks, to feel any pain. Before I could wonder anymore, I have to blink in surprise when I feel a sudden weight placed on my hips and a cynical smile in my face. Right, Sephiroth..

..Who is currently sitting on my hips looking like he was having a great day..Um, awkward turtle?{2}

"Oh hoh! Sora! Here again, I see," Sephiroth say, in what I guess he thinks is a professional sounding voice. "What are you here for today, Sora? A check up? Or did you just wanna see me, hmm?"

As he says this he leans down so I can feel his breath right on my mouth, his eyes trying to catch mine. I try to make sure my eyes do not catch his, but it is a bit hard, seeing how he is on top of me.

"Ooo, a check up? Awww, and here I was, hoping you just wanted to see me. Oh? Your arms? Your wrists? You want me look at them for you to make sure they heal properly? Sora?"

A pregnant pause fills the room, in which I blink before hesitantly nodding at his now frowning face. Luckily, this seems to be what he wanted for he is grinning again as he sits up slightly so he is once again sitting on my hips instead of laying down on me as well.

"Well, you do know, Sora, that I am a very busy man. You may be one of my favorite patiences, but it cost me as well to make room in my schedule just for you! Ah, no, do not offer me money. I do not accept money. No, I have a rather ingenious idea. Tonight, after everyone else is asleep, you will sneak out and meet up with me in my room. Sound good?"

What?! No, it does not sound good! How am I going to get out and back in without getting caught? I thought he was going to make sure no one else knew about this deal.

"Oh, do not worry." He continues. "I will make sure you get back to your room before people wake up. Besides the fact that you own me, this is also a order, Sora."

..That was fast. We made this deal maybe five minutes ago and he is already making demands that I must follow. From the looks of things, this could go on for awhile if I do not do something about it, Sephiroth seems able to talk for hours on end..They others will be back soon, it can not possibly take that long to get food from the kitchens and back..Gotta make sure Sephiroth is out of here, and fast.

"Oh, yes, Doctor!" I reply, hopefully eagerly, before he can continue to talk. "I would love to come visit you while everyone else is asleep! Tell me, though, which dorm do you live it?"

"Luckily, close by." Sephiroth answers in a singsong voice. "Very close indeed. I live at the end of this hall, silly, little, Sora!"

The end of this hall? That means..He lives about ten dorm rooms down from me..That is both a blessing, yet a curse. I can get there and back fast, but that also means he can visit me and leave fast without it truly looking suspicious..My train of thought is abruptly stopped as I feel Sephiroth licking my right wrist yet again. What is with this guy and licking me?

"Tell me..What do you know about the tongue?" He asks casually as he stops licking and reaches over for bandages and such.

"The tongue?" I can't help it, my curiosity is peaked. Why is he asking about that? "Not much..Why?"

"The tongue is one of the most sensitive organs in the body." He lectures, wiping blood from my wrist with a towel and then holding it firmly over the cuts to stop the bleeding. "What many do not know is that besides being able to taste, the tongue can also sense smell with the multiple sensory receptors that it contains."

{3}

"Smell with your tongue?" Is he kidding? "Why would anyone want to smell with their tongue."

"It is a very useful trick to know," He's grinning again. "A person's taste is so much better when you realize you can smell it as well. The combination of smell and taste of a person can be very addicting, so very addicting indeed. However, most people cover their nature scent up, which clogs the senses and there is no longer the possibility of addiction for the body can not truly identify a person with a scent and taste."

..As lovely as all of this sounds, this truly has nothing to do with anything. Why is he telling me all of this?

"You, Sora," Did his grin just widen? "Seem to be one of the few that does not cover up his nature scent..Makes me want to just have you, right here and now. I can already see, your skin will be like a drug to me. A heroin, if you will, my own personal heroin for me to claim more and more each day..Sora.."

Leaning forward, he catches my eyes with the most serious expression I have seen yet.

"Sora..Your mine."

–-(End Flashback)--

"Sora?" Roxas is calling me, grinning, yet I can see concern in his eyes. "I made sure to get you some apples."

"Thanks," I replied, smiling at him. "You know me too well."

To keep up appearances, I reach into the bag and after a little searching found a rather appeasing looking apple. Even though I know I should not eat because of my weight, I can feel my mouth watering in anticipation. I had not eaten anything since dinner the previous night and the apple looked so tempting..

Giving into my 'needs' yet again, I'm such a weak fool, I clutch the apple tightly in my right palm while bringing in up to my face. I inhale the sweet smell the apple has to offer before opening my mouth and taking a bite of the sweet fruit. Instantly, juice mix in with crunchy apple bits as I crew with my eyes shut. Food in my enemy, yet I can not help but enjoy it sometimes. Guilt for eating appeared in the back of my mind, but I shunned it away for now. For now, I would enjoy my apple and worry about my weight later.

"..as if he has never eaten one before.." I hear muttered around me before I open my eyes. Axel is staring at me with a amused looked.

"Your treating that thing like it is the first time you have ever had it," Axel observes.

"I'm simply grateful for it," I huff, slightly offended. He made if seem as if food was a joy for me or something. "There are so many people out there without food."

"He has a point, you realize." Riku states as he opened a bag of chips for himself. "We are rather lucky that food is easily assessable."

"Sora always acts like that," Roxas commented as he tilts his head to the side slightly. "He's just more in tune with his scenes than other people."

"Scenes?" Axel questions, while Riku frowns slightly. "What does scenes have to do with enjoying food."

"Well, the tongue does more than just taste," Roxas stated rather smartly. "The tongue also smells before it taste, which is why food taste so good sometimes. If the tongue did not smell as well, food would be a little bit blander than what we are use to. Everyone knows th-"

"Sora? What's up?" Riku cuts in, looking at me. "You look as if you have seen a ghost."

Might as well be a ghost. Damn it, of all the things to bring up, Roxas had to bring up and say almost exactly what Sephiroth had said..

"I-I'll be right back," I stuttered as I stood up. "I think I saw a water fountain on our way here.."

I jet out of the room before anyone of them can offer to walk with me, apple still in my hand. As I look down at it, I can feel myself getting sick to my stomach as it unintentionally reminded me of Sephiroth.

Before I know it, the apple in crushed in my hand and juice is freely flowing onto my hand for I had gripped the apple too tightly. As I continue to jet down the hall, I notice a sign for a bathroom. Assuming that anyone can use this one, seeing how it was not attached to a room, I push open the door and rush towards one of the stalls. I did not even realize I had throw the crushed apple core against the wall of the stall as I fell to my knees in front of the toilet the stall contained. Normally, public bathrooms disgust me to no ends but those thoughts do not have a chance to reach my mind because my hands are now on the sides of it and my head is currently close enough to it I can just about smell the disgusting water inside the bowl befor-

Ah..Yuck, so gross. I hate throwing up, truly I do. I do not think anyone truly enjoys it, but I am pretty sure I despise it a bit more than others. I should be use to it by now, seeing how I sometimes throw up as well, but I just can never get use to the whole process.

Panting slightly as my body finally decided it has had enough, I cough a little bit before lifting my head up and away and then back against the stall wall. Letting out a moan as well, I close my eyes and just hope that no one has noticed me come in here.

..If I can't sneak into a silly bathroom, how the hell am I suppose to sneak into Sephiroth's room tonight without getting caught?

–

"There you are," Riku's voice exclaims as I finally make it back to our room. I do not know how long I was in that bathroom, but it must have been long for Roxas and Axel are no longer in the room. Oddly enough, I wish they were still here. If they were, I would not have to worry about making myself seem like more of a freak in front of my hot ass roommate.

"Y-yeah, I got a little distracted.." I reply, smiling at his concern. "Sorry."

"No problem," He saids calmly, flicking his hair back over his shoulder. "Axel and Roxas went back to their room, it's getting late and we all need to get some sleep."

Not me, Riku. No, I have to go and be some perverts little slave at night. No sleep for Sora.

Walking towards my bag which was now on my bed, I rummage through it for a little bit before pulling out black pj pants and a long sleeved dark blue night shirt. Gotta make sure I am wearing dark stuff so I will hopefully, 'blend in with the darkness' as I wander around tonight.

"Your gonna be hot," A voice comments behind me. I jump and look over to see Riku staring at my pjs. I had forgotten he was there, somehow.

Wait a second..Riku is my roommate..Meaning he will be sleeping in here as well...Ah, shit. I gotta sneak past hi m as well, not good. Gotta start working on getting my own room. No matter how much I think that Riku could possible be a good friend, maybe more, I gotta get my own room. Besides, he would not want to be my friend once he found out how horrible I truly am.

No one would want me.

"O-oh?" I question, looking at him before grabbing my shirt and pj pants to take with me into the bathroom we share. Damn it, do we truly share everything? I need my own room, where the hell could I possibly hide with him in here as well?

"It does not get cold enough for that type of pjs till at least December. Around this time, it feels like 80 or above in all the rooms at night."

"I'm, erm, a cold-blooded person," I come up with quickly as I walk towards the bathroom. "I will be fine!"

Besides, I can't wear short sleeves. Besides the bandages Sephiroth put on, I also have those scars. Dear oh dear..

"I would warm you up," I heard him mutter in return to my retreating back, but I know I can not turn around and ask about it for Riku is always changing himself.

Wait..Is Riku..flirting with me?

–

Cranking one of my eyes open, I look around quickly before looking across at Riku's side of the room. His back is turned to me, but I can tell even from here that he is fast asleep. Hopefully he is a deep sleeper, or else I'm fucking.

Sitting up as quietly as I can, I swing my legs over and place my feet on the ground. Standing up, I wince when I hear the bed creak slightly. See, if I was not so fat, that would not have happened.

Hoping Riku would stay asleep, I tiptoe across the room, open the door and go out into the hallway while closing the door behind me with a snap.

There is no going back now. Time to find out what Sephiroth has planned for me.

..Maybe if I plead a little, he will show mercy..

Doubt it.

–

Notes:

{1}: -shrugs- Axel seems to like having Sora on his chest.

{2}: Sorry, I had to. XD;

{3}: I got that information for Loveless, volume one or two I believe. I do not know jack shit about science, so don't quote me on the whole 'tongue' info. ^^;

Lin: That is it for now! Yeah, ya can tell I just started getting truly lazy after awhile. Like I said, I dunno if this is gonna even go anywhere anymore, but we shall see...