The Hunt

Isabella Cullen -

--- Newton touched her today in gym class. After Biology I had been watching her in his mind (he is always aware of her) and I had been enjoying the sight of her throwing the basketball feet short of the rim. After a futile yet very endearing attempt at a block, she tripped over her own feet in the middle of the court. I watched the perverted bastard place his hands on her. She may have fallen if he had not reached out for her, and that would have killed me too, but seeing his arms around her waist almost made me lose control. I jumped up out of my seat in the Spanish room and if it weren't for Jasper's presence, I would have probably been in the gym in less than two seconds and would have had Newton's head removed from his body in less than five. Jasper's calming waves were just barely enough. Charlie is off work today so I wont see her until tonight. I don't think I can last that long without her. Especially not after Netwon touched her today, and all I can think of ripping off his dirty, loathsome arms. He will never touch her again, because I will personally make him understand that she is mine. I need to find Carlisle.

--- Tonight she whispered my name again. I almost screamed out in ecstasy. She was sleeping very soundly, like she always does when she sleeps curled into my chest, and then suddenly she pressed her exquisite behind into me and moaned 'Edward' in the most innocent yet erotic way. Thank God she was unconscious, or she may have felt my arousal against the curve of her back. I had to leave directly after that, I could feel the venom pooling in my mouth and I knew I had to escape before she became any more vocal in her dream. I know that I'm putting her life in danger by staying with her at all, every night it seems that I reach my breaking point and barely avoid falling off the edge. She is always too perfect, too fragile. Invaluable. She is too much for me. I am not enough for her.

My dead heart was heavy as I looked up from the creased pages. I had decided against starting my journey at the beginning of the journal for now, not because I wasn't curious, but because from what I'd gathered, Edward's initial opinions of me were less than adoring. I didn't think I could handle hatred and hostility on my first delve into Edward's notebook. So I started about halfway in, where I hoped that I would find some happiness and comfort.

What I really hoped to find tonight was not Edward's reasons for what he did, but my own. In my relatively short time as a monster, I have gained valuable insight into why Edward hurt me. I knew that I would not have hesitated in ripping apart those policeman on my first day. Of course Edward has had almost a century to build his self-control, but the bloodlust that I felt when I smelled those men...well, I don't think I'll ever tame this new, dominant part of me.

What I couldn't understand was why this type of existance would have ever held any value for me. Why had I let Edward into my life in the first place, why did I trust him that night to be alone with me when I probably knew that my pulse was calling to him like a fervent lover? Had Bella wanted to be bitten? Had she weighed the costs? Could she have understood the costs?

I had listened to Alice leave the cabin earlier, soon after I had fetched the journal from the bureau. Edward had hissed something about punishment to her, about how deserving he was. After his whispered rant, I had heard her slam the door of the cabin, and a few seconds later Edward had sighed deeply and then leaned his head back against the wall.

Had Edward ever wanted this life for me? Was he remorseful because of changing me, or because of the way that I was changed? He obviously regretted his actions, was it because he had created another burden on himself, another reason for repentance?

I flipped through the pages of the book absently, taking in the sublte eloquence of Edward's script. There were no dates or times associated with the entries to the journal, the entire book seemed to be made of small, blocked passages written in red ink. To the human eye the writing would appear uniform and almost eerie in its beauty and consistency. But with my sensitive eyes I could see the subtle differences between the entries. Some were written with short, impatient strokes while others were riddled with tiny splotches of ink, evidence that his pen had stayed poised while he had debated his next words.

One particular passage caught my eye and I stopped browsing to return to it. The red ink swirled down the lines of the paper with fluidity and emotion, this entry was larger and seemed more exhuberant than the rest.

--- She accepted Mother's ring today. She only wore it for a moment, and only for me, but I know that in due time it will become a permanent adornment, like her charm bracelet. Tears spilled down her cheeks when she stared at it on her hand, and I could swear that my heart started beating, even if only briefly. I think that Mother would have been very proud of me in that moment, Father too. Of course to get her to agree I had to promise things that I swore I'd never do. She wants me to change her. Her faith in me is staggering. I'm not sure when it will happen yet, I have a lot of planning and research to do before I can even consider it. I've also promised to try to make love to her, after the wedding of course. I was very adament that she understood the 'try' part, I'm hoping that will allow me a little leniency when the time comes. I am horrified that I won't be able to do it, at least not without hurting her. But God I want it, it is selfish but I want it and crave it more now than anything, more than I thought possible. I am still very uncertain as to whether I can perform either of her requests without killing her, but I know now that I have to try, because she wants these things of me more than anything. I need to make these gifts as safe as possible for her, although I'm not sure how to even start. I wish there was something that I could do to help with the burning, though I guess it's doubtful, the hellacious pain is part of the pact with the devil, I suppose. I can not bear to think of her in agony, but even more than that - I can not refuse her. I get sick with panic when I think of biting her, of taking her life. The worst part is that despite how I know the change will be for her, even under the best of circumstances, is how much I do want her to be like me. I am selfish and I need her. I need to hold her without restraint and make love to her like she deserves, without hesitation or fear. One lifetime will not be enough, for either of us. I am still unbelieving that she would give me her hand, much less her very soul. She is willing to trade her humanity to stay with me, exist with me. She wants me to teach her, she trusts me to care for her. I am utterly unworthy of her deep, unrelenting love.

My hand trembled as I lifted it to my mouth, a human habit that had somehow stayed with me. The journal fell open in my lap but I left it there, forgotten. My mind was spinning with new memories of Edward, his devotion to me, my illogical draw to him. I nearly choked on the intensity of the feelings that rushed through me as a hundred new images of his glorious face filed themselves away. An overwhelming heat blossomed in my stomach as I remembered the gentleness and need in his granite kiss.

I wanted this because I wanted him. He was the reason. I wanted this because I needed him that badly.

I already knew that Edward's attack had been an accident, but what I hadn't realized before was that this was only a mistake of time, not intent. Bella Swan had wanted to give up her old life for this new, confusing path. She wanted to live forever, she wanted to get married at eighteen and she had asked Edward to pierce her human flesh with his unyielding teeth. She had wanted to be fast and strong, immortal.

She had wanted to hunt.

I want to hunt.

I sat on the bed for a few moments longer, feeling a ticklish sensation on my spine, noting the burning throb of my throat. Some small cog turned within me and I was finally ready.

I walked quickly to the bedroom door and threw it open. Edward was halfway risen from his customary place by the door, and he was staring at me as if I might run or lunge for this throat. His eyes were wary, but in their coal-black depths I detected a hesitant hope.

"I want to hunt" I stated simply, and his jaw went slack.

Without giving him a chance to recover, I sauntered with bravado to the front door, and I stepped barefoot into the deep snow. I turned back to face him, curling my finger at him in a strange fashion that was absurdly familiar to me. The black woods called to me and I moved towards them slowly. A few seconds later I heard him follow.

Edward Cullen -

We were standing side by side among the endless trees. White snow blanketed everything around us, it encased the earth like a thick shell and muted the smells below it. We were miles from the cabin now and the space around us was quiet and still.

"Take a deep breath, Isabella, and tell me what you know."

Isabella pulled in a long draw of air through her nose, and it escaped her mouth in a subtle wind. I caught the scent of her breath and even in such a small amount it made me dizzy.

"I smell the river, to our right. I think there are fish further downstream. I can smell something pretty nice in the trees, squirrels I guess, they seem like they're moving fast. I think I can smell elk far to the east."

I did not hide my surprise at her conclusions, my eyebrows were raised as I gazed at her face. Of course I had known that her sense of smell would be just as well-developed as mine, but I was taken aback by her ability to identify the scents.

"Let's go east and pursue the elk, since they are the largest." I took off at a quick gait through the trees, and Isabella matched my steps almost effortlessly, although her progress was much louder than mine. After a few more minutes I slowed down to a human pace, so that Isabella's footsteps would not scatter the herd.

We circled to the left of the throbbing pulse eminating from the small group of animals, they were drinking from a small spring that bubbled up from beneath the snow. I stared at Bella's face and tried to instruct her to be silent with my eyes, then I dropped into my hunting stance. Isabella followed my lead and crouched down, resting her weight on her hands and the balls of her feet.

The wind changed, and Isabella's entire frame stiffened. As the breeze glided across my face, I was horrorstruck at the familiar, maddening smell that laced the cold air.

Human.

Isabella was gone, running in her primal crouch across the clearing and into the trees on the far side of the spring. The forgotten herd scattered in all directions.

I raced after her, but her newborn speed kept her a few dozen feet in front of me, no matter how hard I pushed. The human scent was close now, they seemed to be sitting a few feet off of the forest floor. A second before she collided with him, my eyes discerned a small male wearing a camoflauge suit, sitting in a tree-stand. His face looked sleepy, slightly frightened yet mostly confused, and I realized that he had been asleep at his post until Isabella's rush, his deep thoughtless sleep had not alerted my senses.

I curse our luck. My ineptitude.

In the half-second before I reached her, Isabella pinned the boy against the tree, roughly smashing his head into the splintering bark. His eyes bulged open wide, terror and incomprehension enveloped his features as blood began pouring from his ear. The impact stunned him, he didn't even attempt to fight her off, he only rolled his unfocused eyes across the scene before him and limply clutched at her back with his hands. Isabella's teeth broke into the skin of his neck effortlessly, and his lifeblood spilled out around her lips as she began to suck at the opening. Consciousness slipped from the boy's still wide eyes and his body relaxed in her grip. When I finally reached her I placed both of my hands on her upper arms and pulled her back into my chest, off of the now mangled corpse.

Before we hit the ground she was turning on me, pounding her fists into me, scratching at me like a wounded cat. My shirt opened in strips and I tried to capture her flailing wrists. Instead, she grabbed onto one of my hands and squeezed violently, crushing all of my fingers and causing me to yelp out in pain. She bit me on the shoulder and pushed me back into the snow. When I lifted my head she was gone, and I raised up enough to notice that she had dragged the human out of the tree-stand and to the ground a few feet away from me. Back on her kill, she sucked the last bit of warmth from his body while her shoulders shook. I debated trying to restrain her, but I was afraid that if we struggled again she may hurt herself. So instead I watched her finish her feast, and berated myself.

How could you let her hunt without checking for humans first? This may be Alaska, but you know well that there are human hunters present here this time of year. This stupid mistake will cost her weeks, maybe months or years, of progress. Bella would have never forgiven herself, I doubt Isabella can either.

Alice was close, and I could tell from her thoughts that she had just witnessed Isabella's first kill. She tried to tell me that she didn't see anything until it was too late to stop it, that Isabella's decision to hunt him had been near instantaneous.

Further away, still miles off, I heard the droning buzz of the prop plane which approached, carrying my family.

Isabella Cullen -

Exquisite.

Orgasmic.

Satisfying.

Sweet.

My honey was getting colder by the second, I pulled through my mouth with all my strength, I sucked the last mind-shattering drops of it from the animal at my feet.

Refreshing.

Addicting.

Gone.

I screamed at the sudden loss I felt. Only when drinking had I felt satisfied, the sting in my neck had already returned, and I ached for more.

More game.

I pushed the lifeless form away from me in disgust, sweeping my eyes across the snow around me for any substantial pools of blood. Suddenly I focused on the boots on his feet.

His feet.

And my eyes followed the seam of his coveralls up to his collar, I noticed the navy blue toboggin pulled over the short sandy hair. I saw his face.

His mutilated, unrecognizable face. With my cursed gift of perfect sight I saw the indentation in his crown, the perfect mold of my fingers crushed into his cheek. His neck was tore open, and his clothes were covered with splinters of wood and the brown stains of his blood.

Before his hunting trip today, this unknown male had been pretty, and may have even been handsome with time, as his features had hardened. The faint beginnings of a blond mustache had been forming on his lip - he may have been fourteen.

I staggered a few feet from the wreckage that remained of my prey and retched up his blood all over the snow. Wave after wave of disgust washed over me and my body was heaving, shaking. I felt a pressure on my shoulder and I jumped away instinctively.

Edward was poised a few feet from me, his hand outreached in a jesture of surrender. His shirt was tattered and there was blood smeared across his bare chest, crimson handprints on his arms. I cringed when I noticed his hand, it was mangled and broken, much like the body of the teen that met his end with terror but no real comprehension. Although his cuts were healing before my very eyes, I could still see the distinctive arcs of a bitemark on his left shoulder. I had attacked Edward, and I didn't even remember it.

I tried to think back into the red of the bloodlust, but my attention had been so focused on my goal that my mind had little time to catalouge anything else. I vaguely recalled the few seconds that my feast had been interrupted by some type of threat, but I had never truly turned my mind away from the waning river before me.

Edward's eyes clearly displayed his pain, he held his mangled hand slightly away from his body while he reached out for me with the other.

When Edward spoke his voice was small and defeated, and I was absolutely staggered when my brain finally comprehended his words. "Oh my love, I'm so very sorry."

"Sorry?" I hissed incrediously. My self-hatred hit a cresendo and I started to screech, "Edward I killed that boy! I...I...I ate him!" I bent over at the waist again as a new wave of nausea hit me.

"Isabella, no newborn could have withstood the temptation of encountering a human while they were hunting. I should have done a more extensive sweep of the area, I should have known that he was out here." Edward paused for a moment, and his voice broke as he stated again, "I'm so sorry"

I still couldn't believe the words that he was saying, that he thought my loss of control was acceptable. Part of me wanted to give in and share the blame with him for this tragedy, in an effort to lessen my own grief. Another part of me just wanted to collapse on the ground by this pretty blonde boy, pull out his wallet so that I could find his address and return what's left of him to his mother. This thought led me to cry out again, finally realizing the finality and consequences of my failure. His mother could never even know the truth.

I looked at Edward with resignation and hopelessness.

"What do we do?"

And so I sat and watched as Edward pulled a large spruce tree out of the ground with his good hand, and set it on its side on the hill below us, pushing down the other foliage with its girth and leaving a gaping hope in the canopy above us. He jumped into the hole that had had held the roots seconds before and began to dig with his hands. It didn't take him long to reach the rockbed, but he continued pulling out handfuls of earth, making sure that my man-boy's grave was safe and deep and cool. I cringed as his mangled fingers tried to grip at the stones and roots, but his face hid his pain well, his only tell was the near-quaking pressure in his jaw. Edward climbed up out of the hole, and he cleaned up my mess, gathering all of the pieces that he could find and lowering them gently into their makeshift plot. Of course I didn't argue when he silently removed a blue velcro wallet from the back pocket of the boy's suit. He covered the body with earth at a human pace, and after several dozen handfuls of dirt, he picked the spruce tree back up and set its roots back down into the earth. His work was efficient and methodical as always, but it was also respectful - pensive. His acts seemed practiced, and with a jolt I realized that this was probably not the first time that Edward has placed someone in their grave.

Oh how little Bella Swan had known of the world of the Cullen's.

Once the tree was stable, Edward used his belt to fashion a crude cross from two nearby tree branches. He climbed the newly-planted spruce tree swiftly, and it reminded me of all the times that he had done that same thing with Bella perched on his back. Near the top, Edward looped his belt around the mast that was the core of the tree. The cross was barely visable to my eyes, but it was the only marker that we could afford to leave for the sandy-haired hunter boy.

With his task completed, Edward looked at me hesitantly to gauge what his next move should be. I was standing a few feet from the grave, still trying to understand this impossible situation that I found myself in.

On the air I caught a faint, familiar smell. The scent blossomed into a tapestry of new aromas, moving towards our position. My ears picked up distant voices, still too muffled to understand, but distinct enough to recognize.

The family had arrived.

I looked back at Edward and the dilemma was clear in his features, he wasn't sure whether to stop them from approaching. I knew immediately that I could not face them. Not when my clothes were still saturated in my man-boy's blood.

I ran away from Edward, from my family, and headed deeper into the cursed woods.

Edward Cullen -

At first I chased her, but after a few miles it was clear that she wasn't running very fast, she wasn't trying to escape me. So I backed off further, deciding to let her be alone in the isolation of the trees, waiting for her on the inside rim of our scent range. It was probably better that she ran anyway, the boy's family would undoubtably become worried soon. I heard no human thoughts in the forest, so they had not arrived yet, but it was only a matter of time. It will be much better if Isabella was not around for the onslaught of people who would swarm the forest as the sun rose.

Alice had intercepted the family, their thoughts were the only ones that I could hear in the heart of the forest. They were sorry for Isabella, but not very surprised. All newborns are prone to indulgence, violence. It is part of what we are.

Since Isabella's scent was trailing to the north, I began my travel west, in the oppisite direction of the spruce tree. I skirted back to the north once I knew that I was well past her location, making sure to give her plenty of room. If she bolted now it could be very dangerous, for her as well as any other humans in the forest. The boy could not have been alone.

My family was waiting for me in a clearing about five hundred feet from Isabella's location, I could see through their eyes that they were shocked by my haggard and bloody appearance, even though Alice had warned them. I cringed at the thought of what their minds would say about Isabella's absolutely wild state.

Suddenly a wave of pleasure and calm moved through my body, my knees went weak and fluid with the utter relief my strained body felt at the sensation. I sank onto a fallen tree.

Jasper was looking at me with concentration, and he said, "We've missed you very much Edward, we are all very glad to see you. Everything is going to be fine, brother."

I felt a sharp pang of anger that Jasper was interferring with my punishment, but my scolding had little effect, because I was at the mercy of this feeling of release, of peace.

Emmett, who until now had been standing behind the seated Rosalie, stepped away from the family and towards the freesia-strawberry smell of Isabella. "I'm going to go say hello to Bella", he said simply.

My body tensed to stop him, but Jasper's fists clenched as he forced my testorone levels down, relaxing my shoulders. My mind rationalizied that Emmett may be able to soothe Isabella in some way that I could not, that maybe his blunt optimism was exactly what she needed. So I surrendered to Jasper's therapy and listened to Emmett crash through the trees, alerting Isabella to his approach in his own way. My lungs pulled in the forest air in long, heavy breaths, taking comfort in the floral scent wafting towards me on the breeze.

My seratonin levels shot upward and my head lowled back as my eyes closed. My mind reverted into itself, and I relished in memories of my human Bella, so warm and trusting and innocent. I felt Carlisle setting my mangled fingers, but I drifted further away, towards an unconscious state that may even have passed for sleep.

Jasper's brow was furrowed as he worked, trying to put my insides back together.