Chapter 4! Only one more to go. Also, this chapter could just as well serve as an early birthday present for Luka! Almost nine years old already! How time flies. Especially considering that they very first chapter of the story, Ruin, was uploaded on Miku's tenth birthday! Goes to show that these projects always last much longer than one could anticipate.
Beta-reading is by Kokodoru!
The jury took a long time to decide. Those were long days spent pacing, gnawing, wondering.
She didn't know what to feel.
Miku had lied to her.
Was she supposed to feel relieved? That the pain she had caused the tealette by rejecting her so venomously, had never existed? That there would be no more heartbreak for Miku to suffer?
Or maybe she was supposed to be angry. At that point, they had trusted each other. They were close. They were friends. Plus, Miku had taken advantage of the chaotic context to be able to get the brunt of Luka's raw reaction. With all that was going on, the pinkette no longer had the energy or patience to conceal or lie. It was a perfect setup, and she hated it.
Maybe she was supposed to be disappointed.
Worse still, Luka couldn't get the memory of that evening out of her mind. When she had returned home from her walk, when they had talked it out. Miku had seemed so genuinely sad. Her cheeks had been covered in the salt from her dried tears, she remembered that. How the light had reflected off of her skin, the drops in her eyes.
Miku had been heartbroken. But Luka had no idea if it had been an act. She was so convincing during her declaration and her outbursts: Luka had never had any reason to suspect any kind of trickery. Had the scene by the window been filmed, too? Or was that a sincere moment between them?
The videos were done. Those that remained unseen had been determined pointless. If it had been an act, and it had been recorded, then it had nothing more to say than what was already said. And if it had been a moment just for them...Luka could never be certain.
She could be certain about nothing.
Except, maybe, that she was thoroughly heartbroken.
Luka woke up slowly, her mind buzzing with so many thoughts she couldn't focus on a single one, her heart beating heavily, her body feeling warm.
Briefly, she remembered that she had the morning off. One-thirty, her shift started. One-thirty. One-thirty and she would be dressed, stepping on the bus that led from the heart of the city to the outskirts. One-thirty, with one colleague whose name she didn't know yet, and Gakupo.
Her memories skipped the chapter of her date with him entirely, zipping straight to the evening, going from the dinner platter with the cheeses and meats to the drinks and songs to Miku's voice, her smile, the feeling of her lips against hers.
Luka sat upright with a jolt.
That hadn't been a dream, had it? The memories were far, far too vivid. She remembered all the details; the car door digging into her side, her warmth, the way she held her. She remembered the way she had gasped when Miku's cool fingers found the small of her back, how the tealette had hummed into the kiss.
Another shiver went down her spine. She knew what Miku had done to her, how her heart had been broken, how she made her happy, but this reaction was new, entirely. Ever since she had the time to think things over, since she could afford to think about her own emotions, since she knew that she loved the tealette, she had spent many sleepless nights in prison, forcing herself to keep her hands on top of the covers, refusing to feed her shattered emotions in any way.
She had told herself that Miku didn't love her back, that it was pointless, that it would only bring more pain to even imagine that the young woman would love her back, to conjure up any kind of image of how it could be.
After a few months, it had become second nature. Don't think of Miku. It was easy to fall asleep without thinking of what could have been, if she had reacted differently that night when Miku declared her fictitious love for her, if it wasn't fictitious at all.
She wasn't too surprised that a single kiss had destroyed all of that. Luka sat there, blushing, almost ashamed of her reaction, of how Miku had her feel, of what she made her want.
Even as all of that spun around her head, as she replayed the memory again and again in her mind, she could only wonder one thing.
Why?
She knew why she would have wanted to kiss Miku, and she knew very well why she didn't. She knew that Miku didn't love her. All Luka wanted was for them to be friends again, for everything to be like it had been before. Nothing more, nothing less.
But why would Miku kiss her?
Why?
Luka quickly made her way to the bathroom where she took a long, cold shower. She didn't want to dwell on it. The tealette had been tipsy. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe she was just fooling around. Cheers to celibacy, she'd said. Or maybe...
No, she didn't even dare hope.
Luka got dressed, opened all of the curtains and let the blinding morning light enter her apartment. She needed to do something, anything, to get her mind off of the tealette.
It was silly. It was just an accident.
It didn't mean anything.
She dusted every surface in her living space, then vacuumed. When she prepared the laundry, she fiercely threw in Miku's shirt. While the blues washed, she cleaned everything up, hoping to busy herself until noon. Then, she would put on her uniform and go to the office, meet up with Gakupo and go to the bus. Then she'd check tickets all day.
Everything would go back to normal.
Normal.
The screen of her phone lit up. She remembered putting it on silent, at one point. When? She unlocked it, found one new message.
Her heart leaped to her throat. She opened it, and when she saw Gakupo's name, she didn't know whether to feel relief or dread.
Want to come by an hour early? So that we can chat? I'm buying lunch.
She sighed. He's perfect.
But he's not Miku.
She sent a message of agreement before immediately turning her phone off. She put on her uniform and headed out almost immediately, leaving the wet laundry behind in the machine. Chores wouldn't cut it: she had to socialize. At the office, her colleagues buzzed all over the place, but enough were sitting around taking advantage of a break for Luka to start a few conversations. When Meiko came by to check up on things, they chatted for well over an hour, and much to Luka's relief, her boss didn't know that she'd been on a date with her coworker.
Gakupo inevitably walked in, Meiko taking that as her cue to get back to work.
"Hey," he greeted. "How are you?"
"A bit tired, but fine," Luka lied. "I'm sorry for yesterday."
He shook his head. "No need to apologize. Want to talk about it over lunch?"
She nodded, and they left, heading for a small burger place. Luka wasn't hungry though, so Gakupo ordered extra fries with his meal so that she could snack on them.
She couldn't stop herself from apologizing. The most painful part, to her, was remembering how well the date had gone, how comfortable and she had been right up to that single point. She felt like a trickster, a liar. But Gakupo wasn't looking for excuses or even an explanation. He accepted that she didn't like him and that was enough, much to her relief. She thought he'd insist, maybe a little, but no, and that was just as well. They didn't end up needing to talk about it much: after twenty minutes, they returned to normal conversation, and once again, it was as if everything had gone back to normal.
Only sneaky little memories that slipped past the gates reminded her of that fiery kiss in the backseat of the taxi.
"Hey, I do have one question," Gakupo started at one point, while they were heading to the bus stop. "You mentioned that you hadn't reconnected with your parents."
"Yeah."
"Still nothing?"
"No progress since last night, I'm afraid," she joked.
"Aw. Well, if you ever need help with them, I'll be there. You're a great person, and frankly, they're missing out."
She thanked him, sincerely, once again touched by how kind people were. She remembered that Lily and even Miku had said similar things.
Maybe, she thought to herself as she stepped on the bus, pulling out her booklet, maybe it's about time I called my parents. If anything, it would be a welcome distraction from Miku.
Late that evening, as Luka was returning home, she nervously gripped her phone, thinking of what she'd decided mere hours prior.
Shortly after starting their shift, she had made the final decision to try to talk to her parents again. Try to explain things, if necessary. She told Gakupo, and he promised that he'd be there if she wanted. She also planned on contacting Lily to let her know what she was planning. To call one afternoon, maybe in the weekend, when her parents wouldn't be too busy. Maybe Lily could be there to announce it to them, to soften the blow.
But to contact Lily, she would need to turn on her phone.
She feared any kind of message from Miku.
Asking for the tealette's help for calling her parents was the absolute last thing on her mind. She feared that she would try to contact her.
Would she apologize?
Try to explain?
Or worst of all, pretend it never happened?
It almost made her feel sick.
Halfway home, she closed her eyes and turned on her phone anyways. It was entirely without motive. The kind of thoughtless motion that was similar to turning off the shower, or getting out of bed on a day without work: not one thing motivates such an action, yet there's a point when one thoughtlessly allows it to happen.
So, Luka turned on her phone. Put in her PIN. Then she buried the device in her pocket, expecting and dreading the war-cry of a handful of messages, maybe a missed call or two. Only after two solid minutes of walking did she remember that she had left her phone on silent.
She would have to look at her screen.
One sigh later, she gathered the courage to do so.
Three messages and two missed calls.
All from Miku.
Luka gulped, put her phone away again. But she changed her mind and opened the messages.
I can explain!
I overslept, I'm sorry for not trying to call earlier.
Please, I swear I can explain what I did yesterday, please don't hate me.
Luka didn't know what to interpret.
Regret? Fear? Self-disgust?
She put the phone away, wiping away the tears in her eyes. She was almost home, she could keep it together, she told herself. Already, she could see the front door of the building. Just a few more steps.
She wondered why only three messages and two calls. She didn't want to look at the timestamps, she didn't want to know how desperate Miku really was to get a hold of her. She didn't want to know how much she really meant to her.
She pushed open the door bodily, happy to get out of the cool summer evening, away from the eyes of onlookers. To her surprise, almost terror, Miku was waiting there, next to the mailboxes, wearing only a T-shirt, jeans, and the shoes on her feet.
The fear morphed into sadness and regret when she saw that Miku's eyes were red and that it looked like the young woman had been waiting for her for a substantial amount of time: she was asleep.
Luka couldn't stop herself from kneeling in front of the tealette and shaking her awake, her heart riddled with worry and concern.
"Oh Miku, how long have you been waiting here?" she quietly asked when the tealette groggily woke up. Her skin was covered in goosebumps: without a jacket, even the hall was far too cool for comfort.
"A while..." admitted Miku. "I- I wanted to talk to you." Luka shook her head and helped her stand. The younger woman wasn't finished, however. "I thought that you might be working. Thought that maybe I ought to let you know that I was here. But-"
Luka shushed her and opened the door with her key, letting them both inside and upstairs. Miku followed without another word until Luka closed her door behind them both, turning on the light in the kitchen.
"I need to explain-"
Luka wasn't having any of it. Feeling concerned, happy and terrified all at once somehow exhibited in a way like anger. "How long have you waited for me?" she asked, her voice more bitter than she'd wanted. Impatiently she pulled at her collar, loosening the buttons: she felt like she was suffocating.
The tealette recoiled slightly at her tone. "A few hours."
"Are you cold?"
Miku seemed surprised. "No, I'm fine."
Luka all but ignored the reply, picking up the hoodie she had been wearing that morning and handing it to the tealette. "Wear this."
Miku laughed timidly, making Luka remember the weight of the gesture. She pushed it to the back of her mind, turned back to the room, wanting to get out of her uniform, out of her own studio.
She didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to pretend that everything was ok, that nothing needed explaining, that her heart wasn't shattered into a million pieces-
"Luka, please, I want to talk to you."
She froze.
There was no escaping it, was there?
She sighed.
"Do you want something to drink?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Miku shook her head, so the pinkette gestured to the couch. They sat together, the room relatively dark, illuminated only by the light from the kitchen and the dying evening sun outside. Still, the uniform felt too small, the air too thick, Miku too close.
"You're not looking at me," mumbled the tealette. "Are you angry?"
The answer was surprisingly difficult to find. "No."
Miku waited for more, in vain. "I'm sorry, Luka. Yesterday, I-" she stopped herself, before continuing, "I'm stupid. It's all stupid. I'm sorry."
Luka bit her lip. 'It's fine,' she wanted to say. But it wasn't. She didn't want to lie to her.
"I'll be honest, Luka. Yesterday, I wanted to tell you something, but I just got more and more nervous, and every time I was about to say it I just said something else instead, and I hoped that drinking would make it easier but it really didn't. I just got drunk and stupid. I'm sorry."
Luka stayed silent for a handful of seconds. "Nervous?"
"Well, we'd only seen each other twice since you got arrested, so I kept hesitating, and wondering, and asking myself if the timing was right, if it wouldn't be coming too far out of nowhere..." Miku sighed, and Luka noticed that she was wringing her fingers. Had the tealette ever been so anxious? Even freshly strangled, Miku had been more fearless than she was right then.
It was stronger than she could ever hope to be: she put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't want to see her so afraid.
"It's a long story, I guess," mumbled Miku, slightly calmer. Luka could feel how she was shaking ever so slightly.
"Take your time."
Miku looked down at her hands. "Remember what you said to me after I told you that I loved you?"
Luka felt her heart skip a beat. "In part."
"You said that you could have been anybody, and I would have loved you. A young boy, an old lady, whoever, whatever, and I would have loved you." The pinkette nodded in encouragement. "Well...at first I didn't believe you. And that hurt, but you were right."
Luka gulped. "So, what you said-"
"I meant it. I mean-" Miku hesitated. "At the trial, I didn't say that. They only needed to know that you were a good person. And, I'll admit, I had been looking for a way to prove to them that you were. I didn't want you to rot in prison because people got the wrong impression. So...when I fell in love with you, I suppose that inspired a good trap, in a way."
Luka stared at the tealette, wasn't sure if she ought to pull her hand away or not. "I thought you'd lied to me."
Miku nodded. "That's what I wanted to tell you. I saw the way you looked at the footage. I wanted nothing more than to tell you that, in all of those videos, the only point when I lied was when I pretended that it was an act. It- It wouldn't have helped your case if they knew that I really did love you. But I didn't lie to you. I lied to them."
Luka sighed. "But I could have been anyone."
Miku gulped, hesitated again. She seemed like she wanted to answer her, but instead, she didn't say a word.
The pause made Luka's heart race.
She wasn't saying yes.
The mere implication sent her mind sky-high.
"Not really," she ended up saying, her voice cracking. "At first, yeah. After the trial, I saw the world, its people, and I realized that there was so much more than I could have ever imagined. So I thought to myself that I couldn't have really loved you. There had to be someone out there that was really right for me: not just the person who saved me. I looked forward to being your friend again with no heartache, no pain. I was happy with that plan. But... After a few dates, a few short-lived relationships, I realized that while I didn't need you anymore, you-" Miku trailed off, hesitating. She inhaled deeply, and finally finished her sentence in a single exhale, "...you ended up being everything I wanted."
They sat together in silence. Luka couldn't conjure up a single word. She was stunned. She'd let her hand fall from her shoulder at some point.
"God, it was so bad," Miku hissed. "I couldn't even commit to a relationship for more than a few days because it was-" she hesitated again, but briefly. "It was so unfair to them. They were all gorgeous and great but none were good enough to make me forget you and be with them. I couldn't hug or kiss them without imagining you, instead. And that wouldn't have happened, if you had been just anyone, would it?" Miku sighed. "So, I forgot about forcing myself to date anybody else. I just wanted to see you again. If I met somebody better, fine, but nobody came by. I asked my parents about you, if they received news, and I think they caught on... As if that wasn't bad enough, I couldn't ever forget the fact that hey, what I feel towards you wouldn't ever mean a thing, would it? Because you're the first person I ever met-" she inhaled deeply. "And regardless of all of that, of the others, my parents, my friends or otherwise, I know where you stand on this. I know that you don't like me that way, so I didn't hope for anything. I never did...! I just wanted to see you again." Miku sniffled a bit. "But then I saw you, and your coworker who wouldn't get his eyes off you, and being the stupid drunk I was, I told you that it would be a date and I was afraid that I had screwed up but no, you were there and it was great. But then you actually went on a date with him, and I just..." Miku sighed. "I hated it. I drank a lot because it hurts, knowing that I have no chance. I don't drink. I swear. There was that party and that night but that's it. And then you said that it went south because of the leek and I- I was stupid. I'm sorry. I just- I missed you."
Luka was thoroughly gobsmacked.
"Now that that's been said... I'm here to apologize for my behavior," the tealette continued, sitting up, trying to compose herself. "And I hope that what I did won't ruin our friendship. I promise it won't happen again, that I'll get over you eventually. I mean, three years obviously weren't enough, but hey, three years?" Miku laughed humorlessly. "Can't be much longer, right? They say love only lasts three years, don't they?" The tealette looked at her, hopeful, a timid smile on her lips. "So, can we still be friends? I know we've been through this already but- I went way too far this time."
All of the information was sinking in like a rock thrown through a thin sheet of ice. It disturbed everything she'd built over the previous three years, sending bubbles of emotion everywhere, displacing her thoughts. All of the phrases she'd repeated to herself, the wound she'd desperately tried to heal, it all burst open at impact, shattering everything apart, and for the first time since everything had gone back to normal, she actually felt alive.
Miku had actually loved her.
More importantly, she still did.
She could hardly believe it.
She couldn't string together more than two letters in her mind, let alone utter a single one. She wanted to dive in and kiss her, she wanted to hold her and comfort her and tell her that yes, what she felt mattered, that everybody else could go screw themselves. She wanted to protect this, too. She wanted to be careful. Maybe they were both crazy, after all. Maybe this 'love' was just a secondary effect that lingered on longer than the others. Maybe it was all an illusion. Maybe it was all a trap, a trick, a test. It's been three years, after all. Could they still love each other? Maybe they had changed?
"Luka?"
She had spent too much time thinking, but nearly not enough. The pinkette stared at the tealette, her mind in pieces, her heart practically airborne, floating in her chest, bouncing to and fro with every beat.
"I can give you some time to think if you want," the tealette offered as she made to stand, timid and sad. "I get that this is a lot to take in-"
Luka seized her hand, pressing it into the cushion of the couch. Her fingers were still cold.
"Don't go," she whispered. "Just- Give me a minute."
What did she want? Her. As friends? Lovers? Was the difference between the two too great in the eyes of the world for it to matter? For it to influence her decision?
Luka's expression must have been difficult to decipher because Miku's smile, already frail, quickly faltered, and finally, the pinkette felt she had to speak. Still, the words evaded her and every time she made to speak her lungs had no air left to give. She was left entirely mute.
Despite it all, finally, by some miracle, two words managed to slip out and away. "I'm sorry."
Miku deflated almost entirely. She started to speak, maybe an apology of her own, but Luka forged on. "You've been honest with me...but I've lied to you."
"It's fine-"
"It isn't. It- It really isn't. I lied to you that day." Luka said. She spoke on the run, pushing the sounds out as she found them, hardly aware of where her sentence was even going. She was shaking, and held on to Miku's hand, hoping to find strength. "I said that I didn't like you."
Despite her statement, the tealette's expression hardly changed. "So, you liked me, then?" she whispered, almost sad.
"Yes! But I was too focused on everything to even notice and I just wanted to see you safe and at home for Christmas and I was going to prison anyway so it would have just ruined everything but now-" she stopped herself, hearing her broken phrase. Desperately, she wanted to make sense, to say something that meant something.
Miku didn't give her the time and sighed. "I'm sorry. My actions must have made you uncomfortable. To remember that-"
"I love you."
The tealette froze, and Luka's mind went blank, for that was the one thing that meant something to her. That made sense.
She loved her.
Saying it felt better than she could have ever imagined. Finally, it all seemed clear to her.
"I realized when you played that recording," she started, her sentence no longer made of straw, but of iron. She was certain of what she wanted to say, of what she needed to convey. "Thinking that you'd tricked me, thinking that it was all a lie, it broke my heart so swiftly the realization made me want to rot in prison forever. And I've spent the last three years trying to get over it, and the last month thinking I've succeeded, only for you to come by and make me fall in love all over again..."
It was Miku's turn to be stunned, and Luka's to be timid. She wanted to explain further, but the tealette interrupted her by leaning into her, burying her face between Luka's neck and shoulder, clinging on to her tightly. The pinkette easily returned the hug, an old gesture that returned as naturally as breathing.
"Tell me this is real," Miku whimpered, her hot tears burning on the pinkette's skin. "Please. This isn't a dream, is it?"
Once again, she was surrounded by Miku, and Luka could barely stay level-headed. Such bliss...how could it be anything more than a dream? How could any form of reality create such a feeling?
Despite those thoughts, Luka whispered, "It's real," even though she couldn't believe herself. Before she knew it, the words themselves crystallized into pure joy right in her heart, and she knew that yes, it was real.
Miku sniffed and pulled back. "What is 'this', though? Do- Do you forgive me? Are we-"
The pinkette had no better answer than to kiss her brow, before whispering, "I forgive you, easily."
"What are we now, though?" Miku insisted.
Luka's smile faltered. "You mentioned your parents," she said, hating the way the words tasted. "And the fact that the circumstances of our meeting aren't...ideal. People would-"
The tealette shushed her. "No, no. What do you want?" she whispered, her grip tight on Luka's arms.
The pinkette was partly embarrassed to confess what she truly desired, but knew that she could be honest with this woman, knew that they'd never lie to one another again. "You," she whispered.
Without warning, Miku kissed her again, and Luka was once again completely helpless. She melted into the kiss, easily welcoming the contact, easily savoring the warmth, the flavor.
Before she could immerse herself completely, her thoughts returned and she pulled back. Miku looked almost indignant, silently requesting a reason.
"What-" Luka was already breathless. "What about the others? Wh-"
"Shh..." Miku whispered, putting a finger over Luka's lips. "Remember? This is our game." She kissed her quickly, fast enough to almost make Luka forget what she was talking about. "And this time, screw the referees."
Their lips met again, no simple peck and no drunk assault. Luka had all of a second to think of those referees: Miku's parents, obviously disapproving from the start. Her own, who would probably judge her harshly. Maybe their friends, her colleagues. But the kiss pulled her out of her thoughts with a sweet violence. Without the beer, Luka could confidently say that everything about Miku was absolutely delicious. Add the complete sobriety and shared happiness, and she got the sweetest kiss she could ever dream to share. Eagerly, she pulled the tealette closer, hoping to feel more of her.
It was Miku's turn to pull away first, less brusquely than Luka had done, but still quickly enough for Luka to miss her deeply from the first moment they separated.
After a few shuddering breaths, she mumbled, "I'm still sorry for my behavior."
Luka chuckled, a smile plastered on her face whether she liked it or not. She absorbed every detail possible, hoping to engrave the moment in her memory. "You're forgiven."
Miku nodded slightly. "And I'm sorry for tricking you."
"No need to apologize for that," Luka assured her, drawing small circles on Miku's back. "Without your clever tricks, I would probably still be behind bars right now."
Miku sighed, the warm breath tickling Luka's skin. Then she leaned back, just slightly. "Go out with me?" she mumbled timidly.
The pinkette chuckled. "I thought it was a given at this point."
"Hm. I want to hear you say it," she pouted.
"Then yes, I'll definitely go out with you."
Miku cheered, diving in for another hug which Luka returned gleefully. After a handful of seconds, the tealette admitted, still dizzy with joy, "My parents still don't know that I know that you're free."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. They thought I was hanging out with friends lately. If they knew I was with you, they would give me a hard time. And you too, probably."
Luka's smile shrank slightly. "They'll find out eventually."
"Yeah, and it would be best that they learn from me, and not the grapevine." Miku sighed again, pulling away just enough so they could face each other. "My friends probably shouldn't know either. They think you're a menace," she said with a roll of her eyes.
Luka considered the question for a while. "You think it would be best to keep low?"
Miku nodded, leaning forward so that their foreheads touched. Luka couldn't hold back a grin at the action, loving the innocent proximity. "I don't like it, but it would be..."
"Right."
"Hmm. Still going on Wednesday?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Miku smiled. "Me neither. Especially now that I don't have to drink myself into a coma anymore."
"You never had to," Luka teased.
Miku looked away, embarrassed, without moving her head. "Well, last time I told you that I loved you, you gave me the most heartbreaking rejection possible. Even if I did set it up."
Luka caressed her cheek, hoping to coax Miku into looking at her again. It worked, much to her joy. "Hey, you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. Not anymore."
The tealette nodded slightly, leaning into Luka's hand slightly. "Same goes for you, you know," she said, sticking her tongue out slightly.
"I know, I know. I almost killed you and broke your heart. There's nothing more I can do to hurt you anymore."
Miku laughed, the sound making the happiness in Luka's heart overflow. "But seriously, I don't want us to hide stuff from each other. It would be kind of stupid to start now."
"It would," the pinkette agreed.
"For example," Miku said, barely even a whisper. "I really want to kiss you again."
Luka didn't have to be asked twice and complied immediately, the grin still stuck on her face.
She knew she would get addicted to her. She wanted more, always more, there would never be enough, and yet she was already experiencing pure bliss. It filled her mind and energized her completely. Everything around her was either in razor-sharp detail or so foggy it could just as well be absent. The rest of the world effectively disappeared, leaving her alone with the one person who could make her happier than she'd ever thought possible.
Neither could find a reason or the strength to pull away. Quickly, their embrace got tighter, their kisses more heated, their touches seeking and curious. Miku's hand found her spine again, and the taller woman could only gasp, almost a programmed reaction. She could barely focus enough to be embarrassed about it. The tealette once again seized the occasion, deepening the kiss, pushing a little harder, effectively picking up where they had left off the previous evening. Luka could hardly stand her ground. Fortunately, she couldn't care less. Somehow, in her pleasure-addled state, she found a spot on Miku's side which made her gasp in turn. Instead of retaliating in kind, Luka focused on the tealette's neck, kissing along the artery from under her ear, down to her collarbone, up her throat. She felt Miku's hand at the back of her head, encouraging her to continue. Vaguely, she realized that the tealette had landed on her lap, straddling her: either the younger woman had maneuvered herself there, either Luka had coaxed her, she didn't know, she didn't care. She gripped the tealette's hip, making sure to frequently visit that sweet spot that made her tremble with a sweeping thumb. Finally, she found Miku's lips again, kissing her gently, but she seemed rather breathless.
"You ok?" asked the pinkette, her words almost dissolved in the exhale that created them.
"You drive me absolutely crazy," Miku confessed, looking at her straight in the eye. "I- Nobody else could do this to me."
Luka grinned, immensely proud, letting her thumb run over that sweet spot one more time, making sure to see Miku's reaction: she inhaled sharply, discreetly, her eyes widening just slightly. "You like that?" she teased, returning to Miku's neck, less passionately but just as happily. Softly, gently, she caressed the skin there with her lips.
"Yeah," Miku confessed. Luka noticed that, while one of the tealette's hands were still holding on to her, the other was traveling to the small of her back. Even though she anticipated it, the touch was electric, and she hummed.
Miku flinched, making Luka pull back with surprise. "What-"
The tealette giggled, covering her neck with her hand. "It just tickled," she said, blushing. "It's fine."
Luka let out a breath of relief, and couldn't help but giggle as well. Just as she was going to speak, Miku put a finger over her lips again, effectively but gently silencing her. "I wish I could do the same to you," the tealette started, leaning forward so that their noses just barely didn't touch. "Except you're still wearing that uniform of yours."
Indeed she was, the collar shielding her neck and throat from any kind of onslaught. "Hm, you might have to wait 'til next time if you want to see me without this on," Luka whispered, leaning forward so that she could sometimes feel Miku's lips against hers' as she spoke. She was barely surprised at how comfortable she already was. How long had she refused to even dream of this?
Miku closed the distance separating them, briefly. "Next time, you're wearing a low-collar shirt, like yesterday." They kissed again, Miku adding afterward, "At most."
"At most? Dear me, it sounds like you're trying to get me out of my clothes after the first date."
Miku grinned, kissed her again. "I might be."
Luka tutted. "Who is this person, so obsessed with drink and sex? What ever happened to the Miku I left behind?" she joked, feeling more than seeing the tealette blush, the warmth of her cheeks turning hot against her lips. Miku grumbled something in reply, but nonetheless pulled the taller woman closer still, maybe hoping to silence her with another kiss. Instead, Luka pulled back, her hands no longer threatening any sensitive spot of any kind. "If I may be serious for just a second," she started, hesitating slightly. "I'd prefer if we take this a little bit slow."
Miku looked like she wanted to joke, but had heard and understood that Luka wasn't kidding. She leaned back as well, without letting her hands part from Luka's frame. "Oh?"
The taller woman wanted to hide in the crook of Miku's neck but merely smiled a timid smile. "I've never been with anyone before, like this, so-" she chuckled, a little embarrassed. "I'm a little nervous."
"I thought you had a boyfriend in high school?"
Luka nodded. "I did, but it was meaningless." She paused. "Actually, now that I think about it, we might have broken up because I didn't 'deliver'."
"Oh."
"And even if we had been serious, that was years ago," Luka reminded her.
Miku kissed her forehead. "It's fine. We'll slow it down," she said, like a promise, with a kind grin. "Still, I'm a bit surprised you haven't gone all the way with anyone."
Luka shrugged. "I suppose it never really interested me all that much."
Miku chuckled. "How lucky I was, to have a savior so noble and pure."
Luka rolled her eyes. "In any case, sorry if I'll sometimes seem apprehensive. I can imagine that it might sometimes be a little frustrating-"
"It won't be, really," the tealette assured her. "I bet I'll also be a little apprehensive a little further down the road."
Luka remembered what Miku had confessed earlier, finding pure joy and slight fear, knowing that out of all of the younger woman's relationships, none had gone far. She chuckled, whispering "Frankly, part of me was hoping that at least one of us had a clue of what to do."
Miku kissed her again, saying "Trust me, you're doing just fine." Then she leaned in so that she could whisper into Luka's ear. "Remember? You're the only one that does this to me."
The statement was complimented with a gentle touch to her spine, which made Luka shiver slightly. "You drive me crazy."
Suddenly emotional, almost inexplicably so, the pinkette wrapped her arms around the younger woman's waist, pulling her close, burying her face in her shoulder. Miku giggled, running one hand through Luka's ponytail. "I missed you," she stated, quiet.
"Missed you, too," mumbled the pinkette. "More than I can put into words."
Miku opened her mouth to reply, but suddenly a small ring filled the room. Instead of whatever reply she had in store, she cursed. One arm that was wrapped around the pinkette's shoulders left to check a pocket, and Luka felt noticeably chillier. Not only because Miku was no longer holding her, but her attention was suddenly pulled towards her phone, the source of the offending beep.
"Oh shit, it's my parents," hissed Miku. "They're asking where I am."
Ah, that did indeed warrant attention. "You didn't tell them where you were?"
"Obviously, not truthfully," Miku replied with a wink as she typed a response. "I told them I was at Miki's place, to study. She's in a dorm so there's no direct landline, which is the best for a cover story. Anywhere else and my folks would probably call the parents and make sure I'm actually there."
Luka frowned. "It sounds like they're still keeping a close eye on you."
"Old habits die hard..." Miku said with a sigh, finishing her reply. She put the phone away. "Thing is, I said I'd be home for dinner, and now's dinner."
"You'd better get going, unfortunately."
Instead of standing, Miku huffed and wrapped her arms around Luka's shoulders again. "I don't wanna go." she pouted. "I want to have dinner here with you, like before."
"Another time," Luka placated her, gently and slowly encouraging her to stand. Even though she despised the fact that the younger woman had to leave, she didn't want either of them to get in trouble with her parents.
The tealette stood, pulling Luka up with her. "When's 'another time'?" she asked innocently.
"Depends. Are you free tomorrow?"
Miku shook her head. "Monday's no good for me. Tuesday?"
"Tuesday's perfect."
By then, they had arrived by the door, but neither wanted the tealette to go.
"When am I welcome here?" she asked.
"Whenever you like: I worked today, so I can pick a day off: I'll be free all day."
"Alright, I'll try to be here as soon as possible!" Miku exclaimed.
Luka grinned. "I'm looking forward to it."
"And here: you already gave me one, and as much as I'd like to start a collection, you'll probably need this," the tealette said as she returned the hoodie.
Luka took her hoodie, then chuckled. "You actually left one of your shirts here," she started. "It's in the laundry right now, so remind me to-"
"I know. Keep it."
The pinkette could only smile. One last hug and another brief kiss, then Miku was out the door, leaving Luka dizzy and beyond happy, clutching the jacket to her chest.
She almost couldn't really believe it. From seeing her again less than a week prior, through days of heartbreak, there she stood, still experiencing all of the emotions and feelings Miku had gifted her.
There was no more heartbreak. The angry red wound she'd suffered and had healed only for it to be torn open once again bloomed onto a gorgeous flower of strong, tender bliss.
Of course, things weren't completely perfect quite yet. Miku's parents seemed to dislike her enough to keep her freedom hidden from their daughter. Plus, her own parents were a subject she still wanted to tackle.
But otherwise...Luka realized that there was nothing else she could truly want. What else could she want that would contribute to her happiness?
Nothing.
She turned back to her room and turned on the light: it had gotten dark enough for the kitchen light to be too weak to illuminate the room properly. She sat on the couch, pulled out her phone, and dreamily texted Lily.
Could she tell her friend? No, probably not. They had agreed to keep low for the time being. For how long? Miku probably wanted to reason with her parents a little more, which Luka thought would be a good idea. Maybe she would even need to meet them properly, and she had to admit that the mere idea terrified her. She'd only seen Miku's mother twice, ever. Her father, the machine he was, never caught Luka off guard. Except through the windows, and the one time she'd followed him, she probably hadn't seen him. In fact, she couldn't picture either of their faces. She'd seen arms, a back, a headful of hair but their faces? No, while she hid, nobody ever faced her directly.
She shivered, focusing on her text to Lily. She'd planned to talk to her parents the following afternoon if only to get it over with as quickly as possible. Gakupo would be working, and Miku was busy, but maybe, just maybe Lily would be with her, at the opposite end of the line. She giggled, remembering that she'd planned it all to distract her from Miku. But right then, the memories and happiness that the tealette had left her were a distraction of their own.
Her friend didn't take a long time to reply, confirming that she would be with her parents the following afternoon, visiting with her own family.
Luka gulped, remembering that Lily's parents had all but shunned her. Maybe that would influence the call? Despite that, they agreed on a time and continued to text while Luka cooked, ate, and read until she fell asleep.
A text message from Miku awaited her when she woke up nice and early for work that day.
I told my parents I'd seen you last Wednesday and that we were hanging out yesterday. They're not happy but the fact that I caught them lying to me made it easier to convince them to give you a chance.
Luka smiled.
Frankly, I'm surprised they withstood your debating powers for so long. What argument won them over?
You were right: get emotions involved and rational arguments fall apart. :( But the phrase 'Luka never lied to me about anything' hit home nice and neat.
The pinkette almost flinched. For only a second, she wanted to debate that she had lied to her about her emotions, that evening three years ago. Miku probably thought it didn't count at all, though, since Luka wasn't aware of the truth herself. So instead, she wrote back only one word.
Ouch.
That's the point.
Luka frowned. Miku was obviously dead-set on making sure things would go well, but she wondered if her methods weren't a bit too direct. She couldn't blame her too much: if she'd spent nineteen years locked up, she'd probably bite back every now and then, too. Not to mention that they still monitored where she went, even though she had sailed past her teens into her early twenties.
Luka briefly wondered if her intervention of sorts in their familial situation had done more bad than good. Of course, they had traveled together, spent time as a real family, and now they stayed at home more often, but was their relationship strained? Was their behavior something Miku often threw in their faces in order to get something she wanted?
No, Miku wasn't like that. She was straightforward, but if she had conceded to telling her parents about her whereabouts, then they had apparently come to a peaceful compromise. In any case, she wanted to hope she'd fixed something, more than damaging it. But she had to accept the fact that even if she had been more of a benefactor despite herself, she shouldn't expect to be forgiven for having them return home to an empty house, their daughter missing, presumed dead. No, they had every right to be angry at her for what she'd done to them. For four months, a third of a year, their daughter was gone.
Luka didn't let the thoughts distract her too much. She exchanged a few more messages with the tealette, went to work where she chatted with Meiko and Gakupo before her shift, and after work, she visited Kaito, which was no different from the usual.
In the late afternoon, she was back home, out of her uniform and into the hoodie she had lent Miku the previous evening. It brought her comfort as she exchanged messages with Lily.
When you want to call?
Whenever.
Want me to let them know in advance?
Sure.
The blonde stopped answering briefly, and Luka could perfectly picture the dining table, her parents seated at one end, next to Lily's parents, the blonde explaining the situation to them: Luka can't visit, wants to call, wants to make things right.
She vividly remembered that room, that table, the feel of the carpet under her bare feet. The nostalgia hit her a bit hard, even though she was just remembering the place. She envied her friend slightly, that she could visit so easily, be in the house she grew up in, whenever.
The incoming text rose her from her thoughts.
Alrighty, call when you want.
Luka took the landline: the phone was more comfortable to hold, which would be perfect for a long, strained conversation. Slowly, she dialed the number, pressed the green phone icon.
She thought of how Miku fought to fix things, let it encourage her, inspire her. Then she just thought of her, let the memories make her smile. She remembered her dining room, the Christmas dinners.
She pictured bringing Miku with her there, one Christmas evening. Maybe her parents, too, so that the Hatsunes, the Masudas, and the Megurines could celebrate it all together.
Then her mother picked up.