Previously

She also told her brother that Alex would be staying in the cabin and that the news wasn't allowed to be spread any further than Polly and him. She even asked him if he wanted to keep an eye on her because she couldn't and she didn't want the love of her life to spend the upcoming year all alone and miserable. Because she already knew that Alex would make no effort in meeting new people. And even if she could, because the cabin wasn't exactly approachable, she probably wouldn't because she wanted to stay as true to Piper as she could. But just because Piper couldn't enjoy her life outside yet didn't mean that she wanted Alex to live as a loner. She already felt a little guilty about the location of the cabin and the consequences because of it.

But for now keeping Alex alive and healthy was all that she could wish for.

Chapter four

It was a month after Piper returned to Litchfield and to say it was a month from hell was still an understatement according to Alex. Still after this time there was no way for Alex to safely contact her girlfriend in prison and she had to go another eleven months like this before Piper would get out. That is if she kept that temper of hers in check and didn't get into more trouble.

And according to the five months she had spent in prison together with her.. that was not a given. She just wished that Piper wanted to be with her just as bad as the other way around, and that that would be enough reason to behave herself even is someone was provoking her or something.

Right now the only way for her to contact her girlfriend was through Polly. Polly would visit Piper once in two weeks and during that visit she would bring her letters from Alex that she wouldn't trust sending to the prison herself. Calling was also not an option for her because she was still convinced that Kubra had his ways and was always once step ahead.

She was sitting at a desk by the window and had to admit that she had spent almost every waking hour at this desk writing. Mostly to Piper although she already had some ideas for a novel but she couldn't get herself to work on it instead of providing her girlfriend with more letters when she had the chance. She knew that if it was her she would live for Piper's letters inside Litchfield.

It was only a month ago that she was meeting with Polly right after she dropped off Piper at Litchfield. Piper arranged it so that Polly would be escorting Alex towards the cabin of her aunt. Alex already knew that the trip wouldn't be pretty like she promised Piper. And on top of that she felt kind of guilty that she was about to meet Finn for the first time which was probably the one thing Piper wanted more than to be out of prison or to be with Alex. When she arrived at Polly's she had to mentally prepare herself for at least five minutes before she was ready to ring the bell to her front door.

"Alex," the brunette woman opened the door and walked straight back in mumbling something under her breath which didn't exactly reach Alex's ears but sounded a lot like Supercunt.

"Hi Polly. Fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah that was the first thing that popped into my head when Pipe called. Let me grab some last things so that we can go right away."

"Look Hol, I mean Polly. Let's get this straight. The only reason I'm doing this is because Piper wants me to. I know that means something to you and she has asked me to play nice so I'm trying here okay?"

In the morning Polly would come to the cabin for the third time, counted with the drop off, to collect Alex's letters and ask her if she needed anything. She still did this for Piper because the two of them didn't get along one bit. Even though Piper told her that she thought different about Alex now, Alex didn't believe one word of it. And on top of that Polly always seemed very on edge before she had to visit Piper. Like she didn't want to go in the first place. Like it was an obligation she'd rather not deal with.

It was almost dinnertime and despite she wasn't really hungry she grabbed a pizza out of the freezer and prepared it. She tried to remember constantly that Piper would want her to eat something, so she did. After she walked right back towards the desk and grabbed another letter to write for Piper. It was the second one today and the 67th in total.

(67)

To my Pipes,

Yet another day is almost over and although I don't want you to feel bad about me being here I can say for the hundred time that it isn't easy for me. But then again.. It isn't easy for me to be anywhere without you. It never was to be honest. Even in all of those years apart it felt like a piece of me was missing. I was never really at ease, comfortable. I wasn't even comfortable in my own skin without you there. As you already know now I tried a lot of things to replace you with but none of them worked, not even in the slightest. I love you Piper. I can not say that enough because I still can't quite believe that I'm allowed but mostly able to say that to you again. Because even if I wasn't allowed I would still love you. Always have and always will. God this turns out to be maybe the most sappy letter up until now but I really miss you my girl. And I can't wait for all of this to be over and to start our lives together. Who would have thought huh? The drug smuggling lesbian ending up together with the blonde WASP in the end. But you know there was at least one person that believed in us that much. My mom. She believed fiercely that you were the best thing to ever happen to me and if I ever did anything to compromise it I would have hell to pay for. And she was right. But I'm sure that being without you was even worse like hell. And it doesn't feel any different right now. I'm writing this letter knowing that Polly will get to give it to you tomorrow. I'm glad that you get to see her kid. We're still not there yet Piper. There's something about her. I can't quite put my finger on it but I will. This will be a short one for now Pipes. I'll write more soon.

All my love,

AV

Even though Alex wrote about two letters a day, sometimes more, that didn't mean that Polly could deliver them all to Piper. So the next morning she would hand ten chosen letters to Polly and the rest she put in a box for Piper. The ones that Piper did get she copied and put them in there also. They were all numbered so if Piper ever felt like it she could read them in the right order.

The next morning Polly was there bright and early and even though the two women still didn't particularly like each other Alex knew exactly how the smaller brunette liked her coffee and would prepare it for her when she got there immediately. But then again it was about the only company she received once in two weeks so she was even glad to hear her own voice again.

"So what have you been up to lately?" she asked the brunette without sounding too uninterested. "Oh you know. Same old. Finn won't stop crying, Pete is never home and I have no life whatsoever," the brunette answered. Motherhood didn't exactly made Polly happier according to Alex. It wasn't her place to say something about it but the brunette was even more cranky then when she met her in the earlier days.

Of course what she didn't know was that Polly was all but happy with herself lately. She cheated on Pete with Larry and was all but happy about that fact. Yeah Larry was there for her and that wasn't something she could say about her husband, but that didn't give her an excuse to cheat on him. On the father of her child. She and Pete were once really good together and right now she would give anything to get that back. To get back the man that she fell in love with, and she hoped that eventually he fell in love with their son as hard as she did. Because she did fall in love with Finn, but the circumstances weren't anything to be happy about right now.

"Wow that sounds inspiring yes," Alex said to her. Polly especially wasn't on her best behavior today. "What's it to you anyway. Like you have an inspiring life. You spent almost half a year in prison, brought your ex-girlfriend with you and therefore you ruined her life. And look at you now. You're almost on the run for your old boss, so I wouldn't call that freedom exactly and the woman that you supposedly love is still in the prison you sent her too."

"Alright Holly. Let it all out. I know you've been dying to since you saw me a month ago. And to be honest. I'm quite surprised that it took you so long. And for your information. I do love Piper. I've never loved anything or anyone in this world more than her. Nothing or no one comes even close. I love her more than myself. In fact I think besides my mom she's the only person that I've ever loved, and since she's death… She will be the only person that I will ever love. And despite what the hell you think of me. I wouldn't be here in this cabin if it wasn't for Piper. Hell no. If it wasn't for Piper I would be in fucking Argentina right now, so fuck you. I know I'm not safe here but I can't bail on her can I? Or do you want me to run to the other end of the earth, because that is still not going to change a fucking thing. Piper would still be in prison but I reckon she would be a little less comfortable there not knowing where I was. And if you can't handle that she wants me in her life I don't even know what you are doing here in the first place."

"But why did you have to name her Alex? She had a good thing going with Larry. She was happy, the happiest I've seen her since she left you I might add. It took her so long to get to that level again and BAM, there you were again. And the four of us, we were friends. Pete was there. Piper and Pete were buddies you know. She was adventurous. She had everything that I didn't and what he didn't get with me he got with Piper. They did stuff together. Stuff that Larry and I didn't have the balls for. And now it's all fucked up Alex. And it's because of you."

"Polly, do you hear yourself right now? Maybe Piper was happy with Larry. You said it yourself. The happiest you've seen her since she left me. But was it even an comparison Polly? Because Piper told me what she was like when she left me. And I doubt that you forgot what it was like for her. So can you honestly tell me that she was as happy as she could be with Larry. Can you honestly tell me that she would be happier right now with Larry than with me? That it even comes close to what we had. Because Piper told me that you understood that now."

"No."

"Than what is wrong. Tell me. Because I know there is something going on with you. In fact every time you come here you're not even trying to convince me that you are happy to go see Piper. And by all means I would gladly go in your place if I could. So I know there is something going on, and the fact that you just lost it about fucking Larry for God sake. Makes me think it even more. Come on Polly. You can talk to me. It's not like I have anywhere else to be."

"I cheated on Pete."

"Now we're talking," the tall brunette chuckled.

"Alex, this is not funny."

"Alright sorry. No it's not. So tell me, who's the lucky dude."

"I can't tell you," Polly told Alex.

"What do you mean you can't tell me. It's not like I can blab it around right now can I?"

"It's too horrible Alex. And you hate me already. Even you are going to hate me more."

"What do you mean even me? Who else is going to hate you Polly?"

"Piper."

"Polly, what did you do?"

"I slept with Larry."

Alex couldn't help herself. This is not something Piper would be happy about. And still she couldn't help herself from laughing out loud. "No you didn't."

"Yeah I did."

"Jfc Polly. Why would you even want that." Of course if Piper was there her reaction would be different. Because she knew it would upset the blonde to hear this from Polly and she would be there for her. But fact is. She didn't give a fuck about Larry. Hearing this even less. And hearing Polly talking about her perfect life wasn't something she could handle right now so the fact that Polly fucked up brought them closer together in some way.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. It's not like you can get into it anyway you stupid lesbian. But you get why I can't tell anyone. Piper is going to be so pissed at me. I regretted it the second after it happened. But I can't turn back time you know. I just have to deal with it but obviously I'm not doing a good enough job because you saw right through me and you don't even know me that well."

"I know you Polly. You think I don't, but I do. Piper and I traveled the world for three years remember. That's a long time living with someone. You get to know them in and out. You memorize their stories onto a point where you ask yourself if you keep going this way you will even have stories to tell each other for the rest of your life. But Piper and I managed Polly. We were good together. I know I fucked up in the end. I know that's on me and you get to hate me for that, you really do. God knows I hate me for it. It cost me eight years of my life without her. And now that I have her back I still have to manage another year without her. But I know you Polly. I love Piper and it would mean the world to her if we got along. So let's do that. Hell, you screwing Larry and therefore fucking up for once makes me relate to you already an ounce more than an hour ago. You're not a horrible person. Yes what you did was fucked up but it doesn't define you. Piper will probably be pissed but I promise you that I will make sure that after her tantrum, and you giving her some space that I will get her to talk to you."

"You would do that for me," she asked the older woman.

"Yes I would. Piper cares about you. And even if you tell her that and she says that she doesn't, she does. And I will make her see that again. Not only for you but also for her. She needs you Polly. You can't tell her this while she's in prison. I'm not going to be there to get her in check and she will lose her shit in there if she hears this. And she can't get more time added. If she does because of this, then you haven't seen me pissed before. So I really need you to get your act together before you go see her today. Because if I already suspected something, I know she definitely will too."

Polly just nodded.

"I need you to promise me okay?"

"Yeah okay."

"Good. Now drink that coffee and tell me what you want. It might sound crazy but maybe I can help you."

"I just want things to be like before. Like when Piper was still here. She was always able to keep Pete here with me. To keep him out of trouble but in the same way make him feel like he was trouble or something. They were like brother and sister. Even I could see that he had a hard time when Piper went to prison. But nobody gave him credit for it. Larry was her fiance so he was entitled to and I as the best friend also but he.. nobody, not even him felt like he had a right to feel sucky about it I guess. And then with Finn.. I guess he was scared as hell. I wanted a family so bad and I knew Piper had talked him into it some. Told him that everything would be okay and that his life wouldn't change as much as he thought. But with Piper leaving it did and I guess that he blames Finn for it instead."

"Wow, that's fucked up."

"Yes it is."

"Is Pete cool with Cal?"

"They're not exactly best friends but they get along, why?"

"Because Cal is visiting me in the weekend you remember? You arranged it yourself because Piper wanted you to. And maybe it's not such a bad idea for you to suggest for Pete to come up here also. Like some sort of guys weekend, except that I'm a girl but I'm good with guys. They tell me things. Hell, they even ask me for tips about fucking women. I will get him drunk and I can talk to him about you. Because if according to Pete Piper is adventurous then he hasn't met me."

Polly was hesitant at first but didn't see what more damage it could do to her relationship. She knew that she had to tell Pete about Larry at some point. And Alex suggested for her to do it before Piper was out. So she had a whole year to work on their relationship and everything was almost back to normal before Piper got out. Then when she told Piper she could fall back on Pete and Alex would help Piper get over it the best way she could.

"Is your head clear enough to go see her Pol?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. My head is a lot more clear than before I came here. I know all is not right in the world yet.. but it's a start I guess. I still have a long way to go and I'm not exactly looking forward to it."

"Have you talked to Larry after?"

"He called me a few times. Wanted to get together to talk. Was suggesting for us to start something together but I know that I will only be a replacement for Piper. In his mind it works that way and he gets Finn as a plus. But I don't want that. I never wanted him. For me he was also a lame excuse and a lame replacement for Pete. I don't want anything to do with him anymore."

"That's good. Because when Piper gets out. I don't want that guy around at all."

"You do know he will try though? Because whatever he has said to Piper, he will try and get her back once she is out. She's the perfect picture for him you know. Perfect blonde and a WASPy family. And he somehow got in the good books with her mother.. so you know she's going to push Piper in his direction."

"I can handle that. And Piper can too. She's a big girl you know. She's seen way worse than a manipulative mother who wants her to get back with her ex. And I'm not letting her go again unless she tells me she doesn't want me anymore. And even then she has to be really convincing because I doubt that that will ever happen again. She's not only my girlfriend or the love of my life. She's my family. I hope you understand that now."

"I really do."

A/N

So here's a Polly/Alex chapter! Updated this faster than I would've thought but I'm too excited to start this story for real! And that means jumping forward two years to when Piper is out of prison for a year and her and Alex have made it to where they are today. Because they will, right?