Pint Sized

Chapter Three

Decepticons

Day 2

The next morning Victoria awoke to the generic sound of the alarm on her phone. She had forgotten to turn it off the day before, an honest mistake on her part. She had never needed to turn it off since moving out of her childhood home.

The alarm became louder, and Victoria blindly stuck her hand out from the blankets she had burrowed under at some point during the night. Her hand had barely made contact with the air when she heard a faint thud, and the alarm shut off. She retracted her hand and peeked out to see what had caused the sound.

Swoop stood where the phone should have been and glanced up when he noticed she was awake. "Me Swoop no like loud sound."

Victoria blinked and didn't respond when Ironhide praised the Dinobot from the floor below. There was the distinctive sound of tapping, and Wheeljack's voice followed soon after. "What is it?"

Victoria shuffled around the bed until she was able to peek over the edge. Wheeljack and Ironhide stood beside her phone, Wheeljack insistently poking at the screen whenever it lit up to display the time. "You're not supposed to be here."

Wheeljack looked up at her, and his fins lit up with his humor. "I can go over there if you'd like."

Victoria followed his finger and discovered the Autobots had been busy while she was asleep. Both the first and second shelves of the bookcase had been emptied, and the books previously stacked on the shelves now served as a staircase leading up to the second shelf. Ratchet, Optimus, Mirage, and Red Alert were huddled together on that shelf. Their muffled voices didn't carry across the room, but they appeared to be in the middle of a debate, with Red Alert occasionally flailing his arms for emphasis and Ratchet shaking his head while Optimus and Mirage patiently waited for a chance to speak.

"Looks like you guys have been busy," Victoria said. She pushed a strand of black hair out of her face and flinched when her finger got caught in a knot.

Ironhide shrugged. "We needed a base of operations. At least from up there we can see the Decepticons coming before they reach us." He shrugged again. "That, and it made Red Alert feel more secure. A secure Red means less headache."

"He had a mini-breakdown after you fell into recharge," Wheeljack added. He used his fingers to demonstrate how "mini" the breakdown had been. "He's happy now though; no worries!"

Victoria hummed just as Red Alert's head snapped towards their direction. Red Alert froze when he saw her awake and sidled over until Optimus was shielding him from her view. "Very happy indeed."

She paused. "Wait a minute, are we missing somebody?"

"Nope," Ironhide said as he began to walk away. "The Twins are bein' punished by Prowl; Jazz went on reconnaissance; and Bluestreak's behind you."

Victoria rolled over and found the younger bot lying on the pillow behind her; his bright optics were dimmed, and he seemed to be sleeping. She was actually surprised to see that he had pulled up enough of the sheet to cover his tiny form.

"He climbed up there sometime last night," Wheeljack said when Victoria rolled back over. "Must have been in more need of a recharge than he originally thought. Once we noticed he had done it, no one had the spark to wake him up. Didn't think you'd mind—he doesn't take up much space anyway."

Victoria shook her head and shifted to get out of the bed. She was careful not to step on Wheeljack when she bent down to take the phone away from him. He put his hands on his hips. "Well then, just snatch it away! I obviously wasn't doing anything with it."

Wheeljack stomped away, making Victoria blink. She looked over at Swoop, who now sat on the edge of the nightstand with his legs swinging in the air. "What's his problem?"

"Wheeljack just in mood," Swoop said with a sort of shrug. His legs kicked up a little higher than before. "That what Ratchet say."

Wheeljack had reached the bookcase, and he jumped up the book staircase to join the little group of Autobots there. While he joined their conversation, Victoria turned back to her phone. Swoop transformed and flew up to sit on her shoulder, sidestepping along her shoulder until his tiny body was pressed against her neck. "Me Swoop no like loud sound."

"My alarm?" she asked. She pressed the button on the side of the phone to light the screen up. "I forgot to turn it off."

"What use for?" Swoop's wing batted against her cheek as he watched her flip through the apps on her phone. His little claws pinched her shoulder when she tapped on the alarm app. "It not go off because enemy attack."

"What? No, I use it to wake me up in the morning." Victoria placed the phone back on the nightstand. Swoop swiveled around on her shoulder to keep his eye on the phone even as she walked across the room to her suitcase. She froze halfway and turned towards the movement she had seen out of the corner of her eye.

On her initial scan of the room, she had completely bypassed an overturned laundry basket in the corner by her suitcase. She was almost positive that the basket had been turned right side up the night before, so she crouched down beside it to peer underneath. Sideswipe cheerfully waved at her while Sunstreaker scowled. "What are you two doing in there?"

"They are currently serving their punishment."

Victoria yelped, causing Swoop to vacate her shoulder and fly above her in tight circles. Victoria placed a hand over her pounding heart and stared down at the black and white toy that had appeared out of nowhere. "What the—where did you come from!"

Prowl frowned while Sideswipe snickered behind her. Sunstreaker remained completely unmoved. "I have been standing here the entire time."

"Seriously?" she asked. He nodded, and she combed a hand through her tangled hair. "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

"Prowler's a lot sneakier than we give 'im credit for!"

A short scream escaped Victoria, and she fell over when she lost her balance. Jazz sheepishly grinned at her when he walked around from behind her, and Sideswipe continued to laugh from his temporary prison. "Where did you come from?"

Jazz pointed at the door, which was cracked open wide enough for one of the mini-Transformers to squeeze through. "Just got back an' decided to come report my finding's to Prowler."

Victoria shook her head and stood up. She froze when Swoop landed on her shoulder again. "It's too early to be dealing with all of this."

"'Kay!" Jazz grinned. "Talk to ya later!"

She absently waved down at them and grabbed a set of clothes from her suitcase. With a final glance at the bookshelf, Victoria slipped out of the bedroom and crossed the hallway to the bathroom. She stopped short of closing the door and glanced down at her content passenger. "Um, Swoop? I need you to go back to the bedroom."

Swoop tilted his head up at her. "Why?"

Victoria glanced around the tiny bathroom as she answered him. "I need to do some, um, private things."

Swoop shuffled back and forth on her shoulder. "Okay, me Swoop go." He took off from her shoulder and circled her head a few times. "Swoop wake up from now on. No more loud noise."

Victoria blinked while Swoop flew back across the hallway into her room. With a shrug, she closed the door and turned to the mirror. She almost giggled when she spotted a small piece of fabric taped to the middle of her forehead. "What is this?" She poked the area around it and flinched at the sting of pain that emanated from the spot. "Must've been where that jet hit me last night."

Victoria spent the next couple of minutes pulling off Ratchet's imitations of bandages, wincing at each tug of the tape. When that was finished and the tiny spot had stopped burning, she applied some knock-off brand ointment she found under the sink to her forehead and the other scratches she had received the night before and then proceeded to finish her usual morning routine.

It was when Victoria was brushing her teeth that she saw a flash of light in the corner of the mirror. She paused and stared at the spot, her toothbrush hanging lopsided from her mouth, and her eyes narrowed when she saw the flash again. She slowly bent over to spit out the toothpaste before she turned to see what was in the bathroom with her. Despite her first instinct to panic, she wasn't the least bit surprised to find another tiny robot in the bathroom with her.

"I see myself going through a lot of shrinks when this is finally over," Victoria thought. She stared back at the red and black bird-like robot sitting on the towel rack behind her, not at all fazed by her sudden attention. It was so different from the Autobots in her room, and she was briefly reminded of the panther that had bit her the night before because of their similarities in size.

They silently stared at each other for a minute or two before Victoria cleared her throat. "Is there a reason why you're spying on me?"

The tiny bird-like robot said nothing and continued to stare. Victoria was about to address it again when it suddenly took off from its perch and dove for the crack at the bottom of the door. Victoria blinked when it vanished, and she instinctively flung the door open to follow it.

The bird ducked around the staircase, and Victoria followed after it, only to quickly fall back as it spun around to inspect the area. She peeked through the bars of the staircase as she crouched down on the first two steps, and she watched it fly through the doorway at the end of the hallway. Cautiously, she tiptoed towards the door, finding it slightly cracked open, and opened it a little more to peek through. She bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing.

The big bad Decepticons everyone was so worried about were hiding out in the laundry room. It looked as if they were camping out in the dryer too. Why was that so hilarious?

"Laserbeak: report."

The monotone voice made Victoria's eyes dart down to find an indigo robot standing close to the door. The bird, Laserbeak, was perched on the blue robot's shoulder. The masked robot slowly nodded and calmly made his way towards a detergent box lid that had been placed against the wall by the dryer to form a little lean-to.

A red, white, and blue robot with wings stepped out from beneath the lean-to and placed his fists on his hips. "Well?"

"Location: outside," the monotone robot said. He pointed in the direction of the door. Victoria froze as the two turned to stare directly at her.

"What?" the winged robot screeched. His red eyes were bright with surprise, and his wings flared up. "You didn't think to inform me of this earlier Soundwave?"

The indigo robot, Soundwave, didn't respond. He tilted his head towards Laserbeak, who was still perched on his shoulder. "Laserbeak: return."

Victoria opened the door wider and stepped into the room. The bird folded into a cassette tape and dropped into the compartment in Soundwave's chest that he had opened. Once it had settled in, he closed it back up. Considering the fact that she had seen toys come to life, a bird folding into a cassette and hiding in another robot wasn't as shocking as it probably should have been.

"Femme!"

A shout from above startled Victoria, and she tilted her head back to find two more robots standing on the shelves that held the clothes detergent and other house cleaning products. A familiar purple and black winged robot pointed at her while his companion, a blue robot of similar design, shook his head. "Quick, Starscream, evasive maneuvers!"

"Skywarp, you moron!" the first jet yelled back. Victoria flinched at how high-pitched and scratchy his voice became, but Skywarp only laughed.

Soundwave stared at the two on the shelf before returning to his post near the door. Victoria barely noticed his movement as she focused on the laughing Skywarp. "You're the one who shot me yesterday."

Skywarp stopped laughing and looked at her with big red eyes. "No, I wasn't. You're mistaking me for someone else."

Victoria placed her hands on her hips and stared straight back at him. "There's no other toy that I've seen with a purple and black color scheme, and I'm pretty sure I would recognize the insane laughter of my attacker."

Skywarp stared back at her with a frown, and a heavy silence stretched between them. The blue Decepticon, who silently stood beside Skywarp, took a step back from the accused. Skywarp finally broke their silence. "It was my evil twin."

"Really? Your evil twin?"

"Yep," Skywarp said. His sudden smirk made her want to roll her eyes. "He's always doing bad things, and I'm the one who takes the fall for him. Because I'm a good brother and all."

The blue jet smacked his forehead, and Starscream muttered something from down below. Soundwave glanced up at the shelf and shook his head. "Implausible."

Skywarp stepped up to the ledge to look down at the monotone mech. "No one asked for your opinion!"

Victoria held up her hand and flicked Skywarp in the head in a similar way that she did to Sunstreaker the night before. The second Decepticon jumped in surprise at the sudden attack, and Skywarp stumbled back with an equal amount of surprise stretched across his face. "Shoot me again and you'll get more than just a flick to the head."

Skywarp rubbed his head where she had flicked him. He glanced around, as if to see who had just witnessed the attack, and suddenly grasped his head with a dramatic groan. He wobbled back and forth, making his companion shove him away when he stumbled into the second jet. "Gah, my head! Starscream, I don't think I can take the next watch."

"Suck it up, Skywarp!" Starscream yelled from below. He scowled at Victoria when she glanced down at him. "Nothing's been damaged."

Skywarp stopped his moaning to glare down at him. "Are you insinuating that I have a malfunction within my processor?" He took offense when everyone simply stared at him. "What?"

"Holy pit, when did Skywarp learn such big words?"

"Rumble, Frenzy: report." Soundwave immediately turned to the two new, tiny robots that slipped through the door. Victoria was surprised to see that the two newcomers were as small as the two animal-like Decepticons. They both had similar visors to Jazz and Soundwave, red to depict their faction, and similar frames to each other, though both were a different color: one was blue and light grey while the other was red and black.

The blue one pointed at Victoria. "Who let the organic in here?"

"Probably Screamer." The red one snickered when Starscream growled. "He's such a coward that he would let anyone in if it meant saving his own skidplate."

"Insubordination!" Starscream screeched, stomping towards them. "You Cassettes need to learn your place!"

"But it's your place to kiss everybody's aft."

The two burst into laughter at the jet's outrage, and even Skywarp began to laugh from where he now swung his legs over the edge of the shelf. Soundwave shook his head and repeated his previous order only to have the red one wave him off. "Yeah, yeah. There's nothing up there—no Autobots, no other organics, no nothing! Complete waste of time if you ask me."

"And considering it took us a whole five joors to get up there just to come back with nothin', it was a waste of time."

"No one asked you," Starscream snarled. Victoria assumed that it was another jibe at him. That, or he was just easily offended by things. She knew people like that. "For your information, Megatron himself issued the order."

The two Cassettes glanced at each other and shrugged in tandem. "It was still a waste of time."

Before Starscream could reply, the cop car from the night before swerved into the room, colliding with Starscream's legs and knocking him over. Starscream screeched a string of nonsense while the cop car unfolded. The black and white Decepticon sneered down at the enraged jet. "My apologies, Starscream. I should pay better attention to where I am going."

It was then that Victoria got the impression that Starscream wasn't very liked by his comrades, and she had a feeling it wasn't just because of his screechy voice. True, the two jets seemed to not have a problem with him, but the others weren't nearly as happy with him.

"Starscream, cease your incessant babbling."

Starscream's mouth snapped close. "Megatron!"

Victoria searched the room for the new voice. A growl prompted her to look towards the dryer, and she blinked at what she found standing on the rim of the open dryer door. A grey robot arrogantly stood there with his hands resting on his hips and a little cannon attached to his right arm.

Another Decepticon peeked out from the dryer behind him—the tanned one that fought with the cop car and cat last night—but the scowl on the grey one's face made it obvious that he was the one who had spoken. His red eyes were also glaring directly at Starscream, and there was a glint of authority in his eyes that was absent from the other Decepticons'.

His scowl was impressive, and if the quivering wings on Starscream's back meant anything, it was having an obvious effect on the other Decepticon. "Is there nothing better for you to do than babble?"

"L-lord Megatron!" Starscream stumbled. He tried to pick himself up from where he had fallen, but he stumbled a few times before being successful. "You see…I was just…Lord Megatron, our base has been infiltrated!"

Megatron followed the path of Starscream's finger until he came to a stop on Victoria. She blinked again. "Starscream you fool! You don't think I can see that?"

Starscream flinched away from the belittling leader, and the blue jet hovered down from the shelf to stand next to him. "Of course not! I was just…making sure?"

Megatron scoffed at the jet before fully turning his attention to Victoria. "Now—what are you giggling about?"

Victoria bit her lip as she realized she was snickering a little, but she couldn't contain her laughter. Expressions of surprise flashed across the faces of the Decepticons before the more stoic members of the group were able to hide it. The red and black Cassette nudged his brother. "Yo, Frenzy, I think the organic's processor is broke."

"That didn't take long."

Soundwave stared at them long enough for them to quickly quiet down, but they continued to stare at Victoria. Megatron snarled up at her. "What are you laughing at?"

Victoria crouched down t so that she was more on his level. "You're…" She struggled to get her words past her giggles. "You're a little Lego man!"

Megatron growled as more giggles escaped Victoria, and he turned back to Starscream. "Starscream, you have failed me yet again!"

"What?" Starscream screeched. "What did I do?"

"You were supposed to bring me someone we could use to escape this wretched place." He pointed at Victoria, who sucked in a deep breath to put an end to her giggles. "Instead, you brought me a fool almost as incompetent as you!"

"But, Megatron—" Megatron's glare quickly silenced Starscream, but the jet could only be silent for so long before pointing up at Victoria. "But she knows where the Autobots are currently located!"

Megatron's glare seemed to soften ever so slightly, and he hummed as he turned back to Victoria. Victoria tried to match his stoic gaze, but she couldn't keep a small smile from breaking her mask the longer she stared at the tiny figure. "Oh really?" Megatron jumped down from the dryer and casually strode towards her. "Then she will tell us."

"I don't think so," Victoria said. She balanced her arms on her knees and stared Megatron down. Any intimidation the fearsome warlord may have been able to accomplish was completely ruined by his tiny stature. "I'm not getting involved in your little war."

"You don't have a choice," Megatron said confidently. As if to counteract their obvious size different, he swiftly moved to climb a nearby box of detergent; Victoria blinked as the action only put him on level with the top of her knee. "Speak or I'll—"

"You'll what?" Victoria cut him off. She barely noticed the other Decepticons tense, but she didn't turn away from the tiniest Decepticon. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm nearly ten times bigger than all of you. You're not exactly in the position to be ordering me around."

She blinked and missed the moment Megatron raised his arm and aimed at her. But she felt the tingling sting of impact right above the cut on her forehead. She blinked again and lifted a hand to poke at the tingling spot, finding a little dot of blood on the tip of her finger when she pulled it away.

Megatron smirked and casually lowered his arm once more. "Would you like to repeat that, or shall we move on to the part where you confess the location of the Autobots?"

Victoria's brief moment of surprise fled, and she glared down at him. "Okay, that's it. I'm stopping this shooting me once and for all." She plucked the mini-Megatron from his box, ignoring his strangled cry and sudden commotion of movement from the other Decepticons. "You're coming with me because this needs to be heard by everyone."

She walked right out of the room with the angered leader cursing her, and she could barely hear the high-pitched voice that piped up behind her. "Megatron was a strong leader."

"He's not dead."

"Yet."

"Starscream…"

"Thundercracker."

That was the extent of the exchange she heard, and it didn't take Victoria long to reach her room. She flinched a little when the door hit the wall after she kicked it open, but Megatron's wiggling body kept her going. Bluestreak paused climbing down the side of the bed with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to wave at her. "Hey, Vicky! I wondered where you went when—Megatron!"

If Megatron's high-pitched curses hadn't caught the Autobots' attentions, Bluestreak's sudden shout certainly did. All of the Autobots in the shelf, now including Prowl and Jazz, had quickly reacted to Victoria's entrance, but few seemed to know how to react before Red Alert lunged forward with an accusing finger pointed in her direction. "I knew we couldn't trust her! She's brought the enemy straight to us!"

Megatron stopped his struggles and smirked down at the Autobots as Victoria crossed the room to the bookshelf. "I knew you would easily break under pressure."

"This isn't breaking," Victoria said. With a flick of her wrist, she flung the little robot into the bookcase. The Autobots scattered and watched the Decepticon collide with the back of the bookcase with a shout of rage. Victoria reached down to snatch the little cannon off his arm before he had a chance to aim it at a bewildered Optimus, earning another rage filled curse. "No trying to kill each other right now. What I have to say needs to be heard by both Autobot and Decepticon because I'm not about to end up in the hospital because of toys."

Megatron's tiny curved hand menacingly waved up at her, and he snarled at the taller Autobots crowded around him. "I will not be manhandled in such a way!"

"Until you grow six feet tall, you'll just have to deal with." Sideswipe snickered, while the little doors on Bluestreak's back bobbed up and down. The rest of the Autobots could only glance back and forth between her and Megatron, refusing to let him out of their sights. "Now, where are your minions?"

Skywarp flew through the door and transformed with a flourish to land on top of the bed. "And he sticks the landing!" He glanced around until he found everyone at the bookshelf. "Ambush?"

"Come down here and find out, glitch-head," Sunstreaker snarled from below.

Skywarp walked over to the edge to see the Twins and Bluestreak staring up at him. "Oh, look! You groundpounders look as tiny as ever."

Sunstreaker scowled, and even Bluestreak glared alongside Sideswipe. "Come down here and say that to my face, fragging cloudhugger!"

Instead of falling for the taunt, Skywarp sat down on the edge of the bed, mockingly swinging his legs back and forth. "I prefer my seat up here, thank you very much."

Sunstreaker growled and gripped the edges of the blanket just as Barricade skidded around the corner of the door in his car form and screeched to a halt. The Decepticon quickly threw himself in to reverse and nearly mowed over the Cassettes that had been following him. "Hey! Watch it, you lugnut!"

The car unfolded in a matter of seconds and swatted the red Cassette into the door. Frenzy laughed at his brother's expense. "Not only did Barricade get a new look, but he got an even shorter fuse!"

Barricade raised his arm, and Frenzy quickly ducked over to his brother. "Frag you, slagger."

"Rumble, Frenzy," Soundwave monotonously warned as he came around the corner. He was followed by Thundercracker and Starscream, who dragged his feet every step of the way. Soundwave lifted his gaze towards Megatron's snarls. "Lord Megatron."

"She's sent us straight into an Autobot ambush!" Starscream screeched.

"No—"

"I knew it!" Skywarp exclaimed, cutting off Victoria's protest.

"This is what happens when no one listens to me!" Red Alert's shout rose above the rest. Victoria took a step back when the security mech pointed an accusing finger at her. "We should have locked the place down and properly interrogated her when I said we should! But does anyone listen to Red Alert? No! Because Red Alert is just a crazy, glitched mech who doesn't know what he's talking about!"

A low-pitched whistle and snickering came from one of the Decepticons, and Soundwave placed his hands on top of both of the Cassettes' heads. Megatron huffed and matched Red Alert's glare before pointedly turning away to glare up at Optimus. "Prime! We meet again."

"Megatron." Despite the deep, sure tones of Optimus's voice, the Prime appeared more confused than confident in the presence of his rival. He lifted a hand, held it in the air for a brief second, and let it drop back to his side. "How…you are much smaller now."

As unthreatening as the statement was, Megatron instantly snarled and lifted the arm that had previously held his cannon. He snarled again and whipped around to direct his anger towards Victoria. "Return my cannon now!"

Victoria's surprise from Red Alert's outburst instantly vanished, and she pinched the little cannon between her fingers a little harder. "No."

There was a moment of gasps, Wheeljack's facial fins lighting up the bookshelf to highlight the bewildered expression of the other Autobots. More snickering came from the Decepticons, and a mumbled, "The frag kinda femme are you?" came from Skywarp. Victoria kept her focus on Megatron, who looked like he was about to have a stomping tantrum like the little kid she had babysat during her sophomore year of high school.

Optimus finally sighed and turned away from his tiny rival. "I believe we have strayed from the original purpose of this…meeting. Victoria, may I ask what you had intended to accomplish by giving our position away?"

Victoria's fingers twitched at the slightly chiding tone of Optimus's voice, and she clenched her hands and placed them on her hips to keep from reacting too strongly. "Sorry, Optimus. If it helps, the Decepticons have set up base in the dryer down the hallway."

A series of denials rose from the opposing faction, topped off by Skywarp's dramatic cries of "Lies!" Victoria rolled her eyes. "They would have found you eventually! This house isn't that big after all."

"You still have not answered the Prime's original question." Prowl's dry voice cut through the continued mumbled protests of Red Alert and the ever-increasing snarls from Megatron. His door-wings nearly clipped the side of Jazz's head as the other Autobot quietly watched everyone with a tiny frown. "What was the purpose of bringing the Decepticons here?"

Victoria sighed and automatically stepped a little to the side when Bluestreak appeared beside her foot. His door-wings were erratically fluttering, and his bright blue eyes seemed a complete contrast to the other suspicious gazes locked on her at the moment. "I have been attacked more times within the last few hours than my entire life, to being shot at to having crazy robot cats bite me."

"You're the one who damaged Ravage?" Frenzy interrupted. The blue Cassette stepped out from beneath Soundwave's hand and took a menacing step towards her with his brother right behind him. "You mess with one Cassette, you mess with us all!"

She glared down at both of them. "You better watch it. I've been kind so far, but I'll squish you if you tick me off too much."

"I'd like to see you try!"

Victoria rolled her eyes as the Cassettes simultaneously smacked their fists into the palms of their hands and turned back to the bookshelf. Many of the Autobots seemed to have turned their attention back to Megatron, who was back to waving his "hand" at Optimus with a threatening growl. Optimus took a small step back when the warlord practically jumped onto the top of his feet to appear taller.

"As I was saying, I'm tired of being attacked, and seeing as it appears that this is all real and you're pint-sized little robots—"

"Mechs," Ratchet interrupted. Victoria blinked at his interruption. It was a little surprising considering he had been quiet so far. "The term 'robot' is highly offensive; it refers to non-sentient machines back on Cybertron."

"Sorry." Victoria waited for the medic to nod, as if needing his permission to continue. "Since you're all pint-sized mechs in my house, you're going to abide by my rules. Period."

"The Decepticons will never agree with this," Megatron protested. He shook his hand at her and snarled when she bit her bottom lip to hide her smile. "You will regret mocking me! Put me on the ground this instant!

Victoria glared and stooped over so that they were face-to-face. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ironhide tense, clenching his fists and leaning forward as if to tackle Megatron if the tiny mech attempted to go through with his veiled threat. "For each rule that's broken, you'll lose a limb. How does that sound?"

A wave of laughter made Victoria glance away from broiling Megatron. Jazz was the only one in the bookshelf who wasn't frozen in shock, and he swiped a finger along the edge of his visor, as if to catch a tear from laughing so hard. "And here Ah was worried 'bout the 'Cons walkin' all over you!"

A sudden shriek from behind made Victoria jump, and she twisted around just in time to see Starscream clawing at Skywarp's wings as the latter clung to him. "Skywarp!"

"My spark has been stolen!" Skywarp cried dramatically. His wings flexed away from Starscream's claws and smacked a bewildered Thundercracker in the face. "Never have I seen a femme like her."

"Your spark can't be stolen," Starscream argued. He tried to shove Skywarp away him, but the other was just too persistent. "You're a Decepticon!"

"Decepticons break the rules all the time."

"Thundercracker, get him off of me!"

Victoria dismissed the three jets with a shake of her head and returned once more to her previous purpose. "From now on, the living room and kitchen are neutral territories. Attack anyone in those rooms and you lose a limb." She paused. "I'll forgive self-defense if you plead your case well. My bedroom is completely off limits to attacks at night."

"That's not fair!" Rumble shouted. He stuck his tongue out at Sunstreaker when the yellow mech gave him and Frenzy a warning grunt for getting too close. "The Autobot base is here!"

"Which means they can't attack your base at night either," she said, turning to the group of Autobots. "Got that?"

"We're not gonna be able to do anything," Sideswipe complained.

"Don't be so dramatic. I've only restricted you from three rooms. You have the whole top floor, hallway, and even outside the cabin if you want to go there." Victoria sighed when all the mechs gave her blank stares, or eye rolls as was the case for the younger mechs. "Would you rather I lock you all up in the attic?"

"You're not gonna keep us from fighting?" Bluestreak asked from beside her foot. He blinked and glared when Skywarp suddenly began flying around Victoria's head. "How come?"

Victoria sighed again. When was the last time she had sighed this much? "I know I can't expect you all to live in peace while you're here and acknowledge that there will be some issues that pop up between you. But I have the right to make up more rules if anything gets out of hand."

"Fair enough," Optimus agreed with a nod. Megatron glared at her but otherwise refused to acknowledge her words. "Perhaps we can use this opportunity to learn more about your people."

Megatron scoffed and stomped towards the book staircase. He only made it down one "step" before he huffed again. "As I said before, the Decepticons agree to nothing."

"Fine by me," Victoria said as she watched the leader struggle to leap to the second book. He snarled when he landed face first, inspiring snickers from a few of the mechs, both Autobot and Decepticon. "If you lose a limb, don't blame me. As far as I know, you'll have to come to Ratchet to get it fixed."

Megatron scoffed and paused his adventure to glare at her. He held up his hand in a commanding manner. "Return my cannon this instant!"

Victoria blinked and only now remembered the little stick pinched between her fingers. She glanced back and forth between the two before pointedly clenching it in her fist. "Not until you agree to the rules."

"Never!"

"Then your only weapon stays with me."

Victoria never would have imagined such a vicious glare coming from something so tiny before today. His sneer alone would have been frightening on anything but a little brick man. After a long battle of glares, Megatron leaped from the book staircase and landed on the floor with only a slight stumble. A final glare was his last acknowledgment of her before he stomped across the room towards the door. "Decepticons, retreat!"

They filed out one by one—the Cassettes and Soundwave being the first and Skywarp the last as Victoria swatted him out of her face. The Autobots, who had been silently watching, burst into a flurry of conversation the instant the suddenly love-struck jet had cleared the room.

"She brought them here!" Red Alert insisted. "This just supports my argument for not trusting her!"

"Red Alert," Ratchet said with a harsh sigh. "She also just created neutral territory within the house. Albeit, we won't be able to appreciate it until she punishes a couple of the Decepticons."

"The odds of a Decepticon listening to her, even after punishment, aren't worth discussing," Prowl argued. "We should remain on our guard until proper defenses have been erected."

"Aw, come on, Prowl," Jazz said. He clapped a hand on the SIC's shoulder. "Lighten up a li'l! We got somethin' the 'Cons don't, and she's an obvious force ta be reckoned with."

"Jazz," Mirage sighed. Victoria had almost forgotten he had been standing in the dark corner of the bookshelf. "It is not right to drag an innocent bystander into our conflict."

"But Ah bet Vicky'd be more than happy ta help!" Jazz said. He aimed his grin at Victoria. "What d'ya say?"

Victoria shook her head. "I'm not helping anyone."

"Huh?" Bluestreak still stood beside her foot, but his eyes seemed to be lit up with more awe than before. "Why not? You just stood up to Megatron and everything! I've never seen anybody but Optimus do that before…"

"I only did that because he was being a stubborn jerk. I'm not choosing sides," she repeated. "From this point on, I'm as neutral as I can be."

"She's going to betray us," Red Alert confided to Optimus. "We have absolutely no reason to think otherwise."

Optimus hummed and rubbed the bottom of his mask. "I take your worries seriously Red Alert. However, we must respect that this is not our base on Cybertron." Optimus fully turned to Victoria. "I never properly expressed our gratitude for allowing us to remain here as we figure out how to return to Cybertron. As it is, we will abide by your rules and respect your decision of neutrality."

"Umm…thanks." Victoria fiddled with the bottom edge of her shirt as she tried to think of a further response. The longer the Autobots stared at her, the more reality began to set in that all of this was real. Or she was suffering from a complete mental breakdown and imaging toys had come to life and were talking to her. If she finally woke up one morning in the hospital, she supposed she'd have her definite answer then.

"Swoop back!" Victoria spun around at the shout just as a little pterodactyl swooped through the door. Swoop aimlessly drifted around her head, and Victoria's eyes narrowed in on the object in Swoop's claws. "Me Swoop go explore like him Wheeljack say!"

Wheeljack's fins lit up a bright blue as everyone turned to stare at him. "What? I'm a good creator who fosters the curiosity of his younglings!"

Victoria reached out to grab Swoop as he circled her again. He dodged her hand without a problem but landed on her shoulder seconds afterwards, shuffling to grip both her shirt and the object still clenched between his claws. Victoria's eyes crossed as she attempted to get a better look at him. "Why do you have a wire sponge from the kitchen?"

Swoop lifted the bundle of steel wire and tried to stick a few strands to the bottom of her chin. They fell down to stick to the front of her shirt. "Me Swoop help find more armor for her Victoria to protect from Decepticons."

Victoria blinked and tried not to giggle as he poked the bottom of her chin again, releasing a soft squawk when the steel wool refused to stick. "Swoop, humans don't use that for armor."

"Oh." Swoop glanced down at the wool sponge and dropped it with little preamble. Sideswipe snatched it up the moment it hit the ground and sprinted towards the bed with it. "What humans use for armor?"

"We don't wear armor." Victoria paused and pinched a bit of her shirt between her fingers. "Unless you count clothes as armor."

"But…" Swoop poked at the collar of her shirt. "It too soft."

Victoria smiled and picked him up from her shoulder. Swoop complacently sat in the palm of her hand and looked up at her with surprisingly innocent blue eyes. "I don't think you need to worry about me. You just go back to exploring. Maybe you'll find something I haven't yet."

Swoop seemed happy with the suggestion and jumped from her hand, diving towards the ground before suddenly shooting towards the door before anyone could stop him. His sudden exit didn't seem to bother the group as Red Alert continued to plead his case against Victoria in the bookshelf. She knelt down beside Bluestreak and Sunstreaker. "Has he been doing this all morning?"

"And night," Sunstreaker said. He glared at his brother popping out from beneath the bed. Sideswipe grinned and waved. "He hasn't shut up at all."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," Bluestreak insisted. He gave Sideswipe a smile when the red twin rejoined them. "It takes Red a little while to warm up to new people. I remember the first time we met—he thought I had a Decepticon tracker implanted under my armor so they could find the location of the base!"

"What are we talking about?" Sideswipe didn't wait for a response as he lifted a blue rubber band from his shoulder. He must have grabbed it from under the bed because Victoria didn't remember seeing it on him before. "This thing is stretchy. What is it?"

"A rubber band," Victoria said and plucked it right from his hands. "And something I won't even give you the opportunity to use."

"You're no fun." Sideswipe looked longingly at the piece of elastic and pouted when she didn't give it back. "How are we supposed to prank someone if we have no materials?"

"Keep them out of my sight." Victoria stretched the rubber band in her hand without even thinking. "If I don't see it, it's not there."

The Twins looked at each other, then at the bed, and back up at her. She shrugged. "If I don't see it, it's not there." The rubber band slipped from her fingers and went flying into the bookshelf to hit Prowl directly in-between his door-wings with amazing accuracy. Jazz, who had been facing their way, burst into laughter as Prowl turned to instinctively glare down at the Twins, Sideswipe in particular. "Likewise, if I don't see it happen, it didn't happen."

Sideswipe and Bluestreak started laughing along with Jazz even as Prowl came stomping down the staircase. Wheeljack had already claimed the rubber band and was showing it to a slightly interested Ironhide and a frowning Ratchet. Red Alert must have mistaken it as an attack because he looked ready to shoot someone if it wasn't for Optimus and Mirage holding him back.

The Twins and Bluestreak were ducking back under the bed to escape Prowl when an excited Swoop came flying into the room. "Look what me Swoop find!"

He bobbed up and down in front of Victoria's face to keep himself in the air with the new object he had found weighing him down. It took a couple of bobs for her to finally recognize it. "Swoop, that's a chocolate chip cookie."

His wings paused, and he fell before starting them back up again. "What cookie do?"

How to explain food to an alien race of robots? Not exactly a question that Victoria had ever mulled over in her spare time. "It's…something you…consume for a short burst of energy. People usually eat them as snacks. Kids love them."

A commotion under the bed caught her attention, and she barely noticed Swoop land on of top the bed with the cookie. Victoria crouched down to watch Prowl confiscate Sideswipe's stash of rubber bands while Bluestreak and Sunstreaker looked on. "Where on earth did you even find all those?"

"Swoop get energy if Swoop eat?"

Victoria snapped back up when the Dinobot's question registered. "No, Swoop don't—!"

Swoop had already bitten off a small chunk of the cookie and was chewing before she could get the rest out. She stared as the Dinobot went on chewing the cookie. "This isn't good."

"No, cookie good!" Swoop corrected, taking another big bite. He blinked when Victoria sucked in a sharp breath and snapped her hand out to take the cookie from him. He easily dodged her and bounced farther onto the bed. "Swoop like."

"But Swoop probably shouldn't be eating it," Victoria said. She rubbed her hand across her face and thought of all the things that could happen when a little toy ate something it wasn't supposed to. She was getting too many flashbacks from babysitting… "What if the cookie clogs something or…something?"

"Ratchet fix," Swoop said with confidence. He continued to hop along the bed as he took another bite. "Him Ratchet good Autobot medic."

"Well, maybe you should hang around Ratchet for the next couple of hours." Victoria held out her hand and refused to smile when Swoop slapped a hand against the tip of her finger, like a tiny high-five. "Let me hold on to the cookies until Ratchet says they're okay."

Swoop shrugged and left his cookie on the bed as he jumped down and headed towards the bookshelf where Ratchet still stood with Ironhide and Wheeljack. Victoria sighed and picked up the cookie, wiping the crumbs of the comforter and knowing that she would still find a few stray crumbs later. Sideswipe and Bluestreak dashed out from beneath the bed and headed towards the door with Sunstreaker appearing seconds later and following them at a more casual pace. Prowl was the last to appear with a whole bag of colorful rubber bands. He looked up at Victoria and said with the authority he had as second-in-command, "I am confiscating theses…things. The Twins are no longer allowed to have them."

The blue rubber band from before went flying past them and landed on the knob of the nightstand. Wheeljack's voice rang clearly through the room, "Did you see that distance!"

Prowl's frown slightly deepened. "Wheeljack will only have monitored access to them."

Victoria held up her hands while turning to unpack her suitcase. "Hey, I have a policy of if I don't see it, it's not there."

Prowl scowled. "We will see what policies you have when they prank you."

"Please," she said, separating her clothes into piles to put in the empty dresser. Shirts here, jeans there, socks over there—all ordered the way she liked them. "They won't be able to prank me."

"That's what Prowl said," Jazz said. He grinned when Victoria blinked down at his sudden appearance. "Prowler's been on guard since the Twins were able ta get in his office ta switch up the schedules. Wasn't 'til Cliffjumper came ta complain 'bout his extra monitor duty that anybody noticed the Twins had lots o' free time." Jazz laughed at a memory. "Prowl's just lucky they didn't leave him a surprise!"

Prowl's scowl became more pronounced. "I still believe you had something to do with that."

"Wha'?" Jazz said with such fake innocence that even Victoria laughed. "Wha' makes ya think that?"

"They were not the only ones who suddenly had joors of free time."

Jazz just grinned and hopped up to sit on the pile of jeans. "In my defense, that's wha' the schedule said."

Instead of arguing with him, Prowl shook his head and headed back over to the bookcase where Ratchet looked as if he was scolding Swoop, waggling Finger-of-Authority and all. Victoria continued to move her clothes to their new location but had to stop when she found Jazz in the same spot on her jeans grinning up at her. "Sooo…wha' we gonna do taday?"

"I am going to continue cleaning out the attic once I'm finished unpacking," Victoria said while shooing Jazz off of the clothes. "You may do whatever you want so long as you don't break my rules."

"Ya prob'ly gonna be chasin' the Decepticons 'round," Jazz said. He grinned at her when she glanced his way. "Ya made an enemy outta ol' Bucket Head. Ah wouldn't be surprised if he orders his 'Cons ta make trouble just ta get back at ya."

"They wouldn't purposely antagonize me." Victoria paused placing the last stack of clothes in the bottom drawer. "Would they?"

The answer came in the form of glass breaking, sirens eerily similar to the ones she heard last night, and a series of enraged voices from the direction of the living room. Ironhide, Ratchet, and Prowl were already on their way out the door as Jazz grinned up at her with a knowing glint in his visor. "Oh yeah, the Decepticons like antagonizin' people."

Victoria groaned and stood up. Why did she get the sudden feeling that she wasn't going to get any work in the house done today?

Original AN: I couldn't resist including a Kreon and thought it would be hilarious for it to be Megatron who got trapped in the Kreon body, which reminds me, [I went back and fixed my booboo thanks to janit3443 .Kreons are not Lego; you learn something new everyday...but Victoria doesn't know that :) Maybe she'll learn later.] I know this will come up, so I'll go ahead and get it out there: Skywarp is not "in love" with Victoria. He was just being annoying, as I have seen him depicted in other fanfics. And yes, Victoria will give the Decepticons reasons enough to fear her to a certain degree and stay out of her way (think of it as the reverse of what you normally find in Transformers: the human is now the one who is fifty stories tall and can squish the tiny robots). Anyway, I just thought I'd point that out before anybody got the wrong idea. And apparently I have to give "props" to my sister for giving me the idea on how to end the chapter. She wanted Swoop to get a cookie from the sun…I have no idea why.

Anyway here's the "glossary" for this chapter:

Spark- heart
Groundpounder- an insult used for Transformers who have wheeled alt-modes
Aft- Transformer word for ass (now you can insult friends without them knowing as you have learned all the common Transformer "curse words")
Trine- group of three Seekers who work together
Joor- ~1 hour
Glitch-head- insult (thank you speedmetal and Autobot-Bre)
Cloudhugger- insult used for flying mechs (thanks again to Autobot-Bre, and since it had "cloud" in the word, I thought that it would only apply to the jets ;))

Until next Monday :)

EDITED: 1/5/14 (Major grammar/missing words fixed)

EDIT 2: 9/19/2016

Final Revision: 1/2/2019