a little drop of poison
Bonnie pushed her spoon inside her bowl without much enthusiasm. Breakfast with her biological mother after more than a decade of no contact should have been more emotional. More something.
Instead, it was just boring. She had to sit and listen as Abby ranted about healthy food choices for half an hour (apparently she only had one banana in her fridge and ate too much sugar; case in point, the Cap'n Crunch she was having right now) and then another half on the need to "keep safe" from Klaus Mikaelson. The two subjects didn't mesh that well.
Grams had liked to nag her too, but she had been warm and personal about it. She'd always had a secret smile at the corner of her lips, even when she was mad at her. Abby was a stranger, smile or no smile. Bonnie could make herself think this person had a say in her life, but she couldn't make herself believe it.
Yet, deep down, something tugged at her heart whenever she noticed how much she looked like her, how much this woman resembled her in a basic way she couldn't deny. Like looking in the mirror and catching an angle of yourself you'd never seen before.
"...and I'm sure Rudy has no idea what you're up to half the time. Your father has always been great at managing his political life. Not so much his personal one. If he knew how many times you put yourself in danger..."
Bonnie rubbed her forehead. "I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Dad. Every time he comes home he gives me a good lecture on boys, low-cut jeans, drinking, and oh yeah, sacrificial magic. He never skips that one."
Abby arched her eyebrows in surprise. "You've certainly got a mouth on you. I suppose you got that from me."
Bonnie smiled sadly. "I got it from Grams."
They were both silent for a moment, either because the memory was too painful or because it couldn't truly bring them together.
"If Sheila had been here," Abby said at length, "she would have known what to say. I'm not very good at this. I just know she would have never allowed this to happen."
"And what exactly happened?"
"What happened is that you shook hands with our worst enemy. The Mikaelsons tortured witches, owned them, treated them like objects half the time. And out of the bunch, Klaus is by far the cruelest."
Bonnie groaned. "I'm not binding my life to him or something!"
Although, to be fair, she still had to look over her shoulder to make sure his apparition wouldn't suddenly rear its ugly head when least wanted. Abby still knew nothing about the blood connection and Bonnie liked it that way.
But it meant next to nothing anyway. Blood, even hybrid blood, went away at some point. Klaus would only really be in her life for a temporary amount of time. His days in town were practically numbered. Soon he would be out of Mystic Falls and out of her life forever.
"You might as well. You think it ends with one deal? He'll ask for something else after that. And then some more. Once an Original is in your life, he's there to stay."
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You're being overly dramatic."
"I'm being realistic. I see history repeating itself."
Bonnie rose and dumped her bowl in the sink, turning on the tap. "What would you have me do? If I don't help him, he'll still be a threat to everyone I know and love. He'll still be in my life. The only way to get him out is to give him a reason to leave. That's what I'm doing."
Abby held her head in her hands and looked out the window like a sulking teenager. Bonnie put the clean bowl in the cupboard like the patient mother. It was funny how the roles were reserved.
Actually, maybe it's not that funny, Bonnie realized.
"I know you think you're doing what's right, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid you're going to end up getting hurt and I won't be able to prevent it. I understand why you don't believe me. I do. Maybe – maybe it's time I told you. You're old enough to know and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try..." Abby trailed off, fingering her necklace with apprehension.
"What are you talking about? Tell me what?"
But their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Bonnie froze with her hands lathered in soap. Millions of bad scenarios started running through her head, ranging from Elena finding out what she'd done to Stefan and Damon paying her a visit to stop her. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with it, but she grabbed the kitchen knife just in case, and walked up to the entrance with her heart in her throat.
"Look at you, love. Not a day's gone by since our agreement and you're already poised to kill."
She didn't have to turn her head to know Klaus was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at her.
"I really don't need you in my head right now," she muttered under her breath and swung the door open.
"Whoa. Not a morning person I presume," Tony joked, looking down at the knife in surprise.
"Oh. Thank god it's you." Bonnie sighed with relief.
"Always good to know I'm in your prayers."
"Don't push it."
"So, making breakfast?"
"You just missed it."
"No worries. I have mine waiting in a warm bag," he replied with a shit-eating grin.
Bonnie was beginning to regret the relief. Maybe her friends ganging up on her with judgmental remarks was better than hearing a hybrid describe his diet.
"So listen, I'm still on mother-daughter duty today. Klaus' enemies are your enemies now. Which is...practically everyone in town."
Bonnie looked past him at the sparsely populated street.
"Shh. Don't talk so loud."
"Afraid your pals will hear you?"
"I'm trying to keep this whole thing a secret."
"Boss isn't really someone you keep a secret, if you know what I mean. The whole town saw him at Homecoming -"
Bonnie groaned, knowing she'd live to regret the next move.
"Just come inside. It's not safe to talk out here."
If Tony was startled, he hid it well. He stepped over the threshold happily, almost like he was part of the household already.
For some reason, Bonnie couldn't picture him attacking her or being much of a threat. The decision to let him in seemed harmless. She had no idea why she harbored this illusion. Tyler had also seemed incapable of harming her. And she'd known Tyler since kindergarten. Meanwhile, Tony was a two-day acquaintance whom she was willing to allow into her home just because it felt okay. Something was not right with her. But lately, caution had been thrown in the wind for the sake of efficiency.
"So, I'm guessing the biggest threat right now is those Guido numskulls."
Bonnie coughed to cover a short fit of laughter. Hybrids seemed to have a knack for creative slurs.
"Well, they're in charge of the coffins, yeah. But Esther's is being held in a separate location. So I'd just need them away from that spot."
"Is killing them off the table?"
"Yes," she confirmed sternly.
"Are you sure? Because I can make it look like an accident."
"Bonnie? Did you just invite the hybrid into your house?"
Abby looked like she'd swallowed a whole lemon, but to her credit, she tried to keep her tone civilized.
"My home, my rules, Mom."
"Is that how it works around here -"
"Served me good so far."
"Hey, Bennett family," Tony chimed in, clearing his throat. "Let's focus here. I'll be out of your hair soon. You need me to distract the Salvatores so you can open the coffin, yes?"
Bonnie nodded her head reluctantly. "Their presence would definitely slow things down. They don't want me to open the coffin yet, and if they knew it benefits Klaus in some way, they'd oppose it."
Abby threw her a look that seemed to say, Why aren't you opposing it?
"Right. Well, I don't know much about them, except they both have really effeminate names. So what would constitute a distraction?"
Bonnie knew the answer to this one. It was almost too easy. And too hard. How could she take advantage of a friend, even if it was for her own good? She sighed, getting ready for the second big regret of the day.
"You were in the room when Klaus mentioned Elena Gilbert, right?"
Tony winked. "Gotcha. I'm on it."
"Wait. You can use her, but you can't harm her. I forbid you to do that, understood?" Bonnie demanded, stepping up to him in her most menacing pose. It involved placing her hands on her hips.
Tony frowned. "That...leaves me with limited options."
"Figure it out. You're supposed to be resourceful. I'm sure you're just as good at keeping someone alive as you are at killing them."
"I take offense. I wouldn't kill her. I'm not an idiot. I know she has to stick around until Esther does the spell. I'd just carve her face a little bit."
"I said no."
Tony raised an eyebrow. "Boss is the one who gives orders around here."
"Your boss asked me for help, so the way I see it, you answer to me too," she argued, crossing her arms over her chest. But her domineering expression softened presently and she added, "However, I don't want to force you, like he does. So you can choose to follow my plan or you can choose to stand by and let me figure this out on my own."
"I appreciate the leeway. But how about we mix things up and stake the Guidos while the girlfriend has to watch? That way, we kill two birds with one stone."
Bonnie smiled.
"If you do choose to follow my plan and you suddenly get an urge to mix things up, remember that my magic can turn you into little ashes."
Tony contemplated her for some moments before turning to Abby with a grin.
"Good luck trying to ground this one."
Bonnie was perusing through the Grimoire to get a better handle of the generation spell, when her phone started ringing. In the deep crevices of the Lockwood cave it sounded like a trumpet.
Abby was sitting in a corner, eyes closed, forehead wrinkled in concentration as she tried to gauge the spirits locked within her. That she didn't open her eyes when Bonnie's ring tone erupted was probably a good sign. Bonnie knew she'd have to give her a hand at some point, but dwelling on the minute theoretical details of a spell sounded like a better idea than bonding with Abby in the solitude of a cave.
"Hello?"
"Bonnie, where are you? I've been calling for ages! Are you in a no coverage area?!"
"Care, slow down. What's wrong?"
"What's wrong is that Elena is missing and no one knows where she is! Matt and I searched everywhere. Damon and Stefan have gone haywire! They're at Klaus' place - don't ask me how that happened - and I have this bad feeling they're not coming out of there in one piece and we could really, really use a witch and a friend right about now."
Bonnie had to take a deep breath to calm her shaking hands.
"Don't worry, I'm going to do a locator spell and find her." She was surprised how good the lie actually sounded, but considering she was wracked with worry, maybe it wasn't lying.
"Where are you? I checked your house but there was no one there."
"I'm – I'm not in Mystic Falls right now."
"What?"
Okay, Bonnie, think. Think fast. Make something up.
"I drove out to see Jeremy. I know, it's a bad idea, but I had to. I miss him too much."
There was complete silence for a while on the other end.
"Oh, Bonnie. We're gonna have to have a chat about exes and the stupid things we do for them when we're not thinking straight, but right now, I need your help. How fast can you get back here?"
Thank all the gods in heaven she bought it.
"I guess in an hour or two."
"Please, hurry up. Elena could be in danger and I'm practically freaking out here alone."
"I know, I'm -"
Bonnie almost dropped the phone. She heard clumsy footsteps down the tunnel. Tony waltzed into the cave with Elena on his arm.
"- freaking out too," she finished, hanging up.
Tony raised one hand up defensively. "Before you lose your cool, you should know your friend's just dandy."
And she was. Elena Gilbert was smiling. Not just smiling, more like beaming. She held onto Tony's biceps like she was about to fly away.
"Oh my God, is this your hangout? It looks amazing. Are these your band mates?" Elena asked, looking up at him with a pair of adoring eyes.
Bonnie had to click her jaw shut. She had never witnessed such a...peppy Elena Gilbert before. It was completely unnerving.
"Is that lady in the corner on drugs? Or is she getting ready for the concert?" Elena asked, pointing at Abby's silent, meditating figure.
"You have got to be kidding me," Bonnie gritted her teeth, balling her palms into fists. When she had agreed, for safety's sake, to tell Tony about the Lockwood cave - with Esther waking up, the secret location wouldn't be secret anymore anyway - she had not imagined he would do something like this.
"You said not to hurt her. So I didn't. I may have compelled her into thinking I'm a famous rock star and she's my loyal groupie, but other than that..."
"And you brought her here?"
"Where else would she be safer? Besides, I thought you might enjoy her like this," Tony teased, pushing Elena forward.
The doppelganger bounced towards her with a drunken smile. "Am I part of the group now? Am I famous too?"
"Um. Sure thing, Elena."
"You know my name! I feel so honored! Can I have your autograph?"
Bonnie had to admit the whole thing was pretty surreal. Especially since the dynamic between them had always been …very different from this, to put it lightly.
"You want my autograph."
Without warning, the doppelganger lifted her shirt, revealing her bare skin.
"You can write it on my stomach!"
Someone else had already written his name there in black sharpie.
Bonnie threw Tony a withering glare.
The hybrid sighed. "Fine. I may have reduced her mental capacities and gotten her a bit drunk, too. But that's an average day in a teenager's life."
"Remember the whole magic turning you into ashes thing?"
"Well...I can see why you'd consider this mixing things up."
Bonnie sighed. She needed all the patience in the world to deal with him.
"Just get her into one of the tunnels and keep her there. And preferably don't sign any other parts of her body!"
"Gotcha. But FYI, you're no fun."
"You realize we're going to kill your entire family."
Klaus moved his palette into his right hand and rubbed a finger over the black edges of a cloud.
"Mm. Do you think this is a shade too dark?"
Damon Salvatore stepped further into the room, knuckles white with rage. "I don't think you understand. We're going to dump the coffins in the Pacific."
"You're right. It's not too dark, but it needs a touch of light blue to balance the spectrum."
"Stop pretending you can't hear me."
Klaus dabbed his brush into the blue dollop of paint and traced short lines around the cloud. "It's you who can't hear me. I asked your opinion on color. Perhaps you're not partial to art."
Damon growled and rushed towards the chevalet, but Stefan placed a warning hand on his shoulder.
"Ah. One of you isn't a complete simpleton, it seems."
"You suddenly don't care about them, huh?!" Damon demanded, fighting his brother's hold. "I can make you care!"
Klaus walked over to the table where he kept his tubes of paint and, caressing the edge of a small spatula placed on top of a stack of papers, he rolled it swiftly between his fingers and threw it with precision at the vampire's neck.
Damon clutched at his throat and collapsed on the floor in a flood of curses.
"Now that Romeo is down, perhaps I may speak to Hamlet without interruptions," he teased, giving Stefan a knowing smirk.
"Don't think my brother's threats aren't my threats, Klaus," Stefan warned, walking up to him boldly.
"No, but I can sense you…doubting yourself. You want to get rid of this burden, don't you? Carrying those coffins around must be rather unpleasant. They weigh a soul down."
"Give us Elena back first."
"I keep telling you I know nothing of her whereabouts."
"And I say that's bullshit."
"I see you've set your mind on finding me the culprit," Klaus said, sighing for dramatic effect.
"I have."
"Well, then, I suppose you must throw my brothers and sister into the sea and be done with it."
Stefan narrowed his eyes. "Just like that?"
Klaus smiled. "Just like that."
"So, you're that heartless. You're willing to sacrifice them without a single regret."
The Original turned back to his painting. He gave a bitter smirk as he crisscrossed the inside of the cloud with black.
"Oh, Stefan. You have no idea."
Bonnie could hear Elena singing an out-of-tune rendition of "Born To Be Wild" in one of the caverns below, while Tony clapped his hands encouragingly.
"Keep it down in there! No one's supposed to know she's here!"
The sound died off gradually, but Tony kept snickering like an idiot.
Bonnie sighed and placed her hands in her mother's palms again. Abby scrutinized her face with a bit too much motherly concern.
"I know, I know, it's my fault for bringing him along," Bonnie grumbled under her breath.
"Actually, I was going to say that you have a lot more patience than me. I – I would've probably given up by now."
Bonnie coughed. "Oh. Right. Thanks. Well, it's only been two hours."
"Do you think it's going to work?"
"It has to."
They closed their eyes once more and started chanting over the coffin.
It was not going very well. Bonnie's magic kept tugging at her mother's, trying to coax it out, but it was like getting a solid object through the thin cracks of a wall. Her mother's face was wrinkled with effort.
Bonnie breathed out and stopped chanting. They stood in silence for some moments.
Abby rubbed her fingers against Bonnie's knuckles. "Your hands are so big." She chuckled sadly. "You used to be such a small thing. I could put both your little fists in my palm."
Bonnie smiled awkwardly. "Oh."
"I loved playing with them when you were tiny. You kept running away, offended. I think even at that point you wanted to be a mini-adult. You've always been precocious."
Bonnie felt herself relax a little. "How do you still remember that stuff?"
Abby frowned. "How could I forget?"
Bonnie felt the cracks in the wall grow wider. A bit of her magic slipped through.
She gasped.
"Mom, I think –"
" –it's working," Abby finished for her, eyes wide and hopeful. "Maybe we just have to keep going."
"Keep telling me stuff…stuff about us."
Abby smiled. She started on all the memories she remembered of baby Bonnie. The wall kept getting more and more fissured. Bonnie could feel her magic getting through.
"…and before I could catch you, you fell off the stool and broke your tooth. It fell right out of your mouth on the floor. But you know what? You just got up and started laughing."
Bonnie chuckled. "Sounds like me."
For the first time in a long time, they were bonding, really bonding. Bonnie knew this was all for a spell, but maybe it could go on, after that.
Abby was now telling her about her third birthday and how she had asked for a puppy and when they didn't get her one, she didn't even complain or cry. She shrugged and decided to go out and get one for herself.
"You were one independent three-year old, that's for sure. And you were so patient and determined, even then."
"I must've been. Dad had to get one for me just to get me to quit. But that was," Bonnie stopped short. After you left, she had almost said.
Abby's smile faded slightly. "You can say it, Bonnie."
"I – I want you to know I got over it. You leaving."
"No, you didn't. You shouldn't have to get over it," Abby sighed. "You have every right to stay mad."
"That's the thing. I don't want to stay mad," Bonnie muttered, looking down at their entwined fingers. "I want closure."
Abby bit her lip. "I know. You deserve that much."
"This morning, you were going to tell me something. You said I was old enough to know. What was it, Mom?"
"I... it doesn't matter now. I will tell you later, when this is behind us."
"How about you tell me now?"
"It's – it's not the right moment. Besides, it's an ugly story."
Bonnie chuckled. "Mom. We're so close to getting the spell right. Maybe it's the perfect moment. Tell me. I can more than handle ugly."
"This is not the kind of ugly you can swallow."
"Please. I want to know."
Abby tightened her hold on Bonnie's hands, almost as if she were afraid her daughter would disappear.
"If I tell you, there's no turning back. You'll have that knowledge stuck inside you."
Bonnie squared her shoulders. "Try me."
Abby looked away for a moment. "I left after you turned three. You were the most wonderful little girl in the world. And I never really told you why I had to go."
Bonnie scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "But you did. Desiccating Mikael took its toll on you. You lost your magic. You…you didn't like who you'd become. I don't excuse it, but I can – I can understand it."
Abby smiled. "Yes, I didn't much like the 'new me'. I told you, the only way to defeat a monster is to become a monster yourself."
Bonnie frowned. "You think you were a monster for what you did to Mikael?"
Her mother shook her head. "No. It's the fact that I didn't do it."
Bonnie could feel a storm brewing. "What do you mean?"
"One day, an old vampire came into town with the intention of finishing off the Petrova line. Elena was three. Your age. I couldn't let him do that." Abby paused. "The only problem was that when I met him, he was just the handsome new stranger in town. Only later would I discover what he was after. It was too late."
"What are you saying?"
Abby took a deep breath. "I'm saying I was younger and stupid. I'm saying he was older, charming and dangerous. I'm saying he made my heart beat faster. I'm saying he – he made me believe he cared. I could have killed Mikael, Bonnie. I could have done it. Instead, I only depleted him of blood. Because I was a coward. Because I didn't want him to die."
Bonnie almost broke away from her hold.
"No. No, that's not true."
Abby released a haggard breath. "Every day I wish it weren't. But it is."
Bonnie's hands had gone limp in hers.
"After that, I couldn't look your dad in the eye. I couldn't even touch you. I betrayed all of you. Worst of all, I couldn't tell myself I had no feelings for him. So I left. Because you and your dad didn't deserve this. You deserved better."
Bonnie was too stunned to speak or move.
"And I'm still living with that regret," Abby finished, tears rolling down her cheeks. "That's why I've been…the way I've been."
The cracks were gaping holes. The wall was torn down completely. Bonnie could feel her mother's magic rising inside her, embracing her own. She wanted to draw away. She wanted to put the wall back up.
But she couldn't. Not anymore.
"I think I got my magic back," Abby said, choking on a sob.
"Yeah," Bonnie said emptily. "You did. Let's - let's open the coffin."
"Bonnie."
"I can't do this right now."
"You have to believe me that I never meant for it to happen –"
"Stop."
"And if I could turn back the time, if I could prevent that mistake , I would do it a thousand times–"
"I said stop. Or I'll shout for Tony to come in here."
Abby opened her mouth, then closed it shut. She nodded her head in sorrow.
They began chanting the generation spell.
Soon, the coffin stirred and groaned. The lid was coming off slowly.
The two witches stepped back. When Bonnie let go of her mother, she felt relief.
The woman that rose from the casket looked young and beautiful, despite the lines of age on her face. Esther woke from her sleep as if she'd only gone to bed hours before. She looked around the cave with disdain. Then her eyes fell upon Abby and Bonnie.
"Bennetts! At my bedside! How ironic."
She sounded neither upset nor surprised. She extended her arms, expecting them to help her get up.
When Abby and Bonnie touched her hands, they both fell down in a deep sleep.
Esther smiled, hummed under her breath, and walked out of the cave.
But Tony was ready at the other end of the tunnel with Elena in tow. He held the doppelganger's neck between his hands.
"Not so fast, Mama Mikaelson. You're coming with me quietly, or the Petrova gets it. And if you think of using your magic on me, think again. I compelled Elena to kill herself if you harm me. She's got a dagger in her shirt pocket and she's going to use it. Aren't you darling?"
Elena, who stood in his arms without putting up much of a fight, nodded her head obediently.
Esther pursed her lips, but dropped the hand she had raised against him.
"You didn't think all this up by yourself. This reeks of Niklaus."
Tony grinned.
"Boss sends his regards."
Her head was being hammered in mercilessly. Each bump made her skull rattle. She opened her eyes. She was leaning against a window. A seatbelt was placed over her chest. Bonnie was sitting in her car. And Abby was driving.
"Esther is alive and well. She's at the Family Mansion. Tony called to tell me. I…I let you rest a bit more."
Bonnie rubbed her eyes tiredly. She was almost afraid to search her mind and remember what had happened. Sadly, the memory was there, waiting for her to get a grip on reality.
The silence was unbearable. Abby's body was tense, her shoulders hunched over the wheel.
Bonnie leaned her head back against the window, even though it hurt.
"So all that stuff about Klaus…telling me to stay away from him, telling me I'm putting myself in danger…that was actually about you and Mikael," she said dryly.
Abby flinched. "I – I didn't want you to be deceived. Like I was."
Bonnie laughed bitterly. "You actually thought what happened to you would happen to me. Like I would ever fall for that."
Abby cringed. "Do you think I don't know you're better than I ever was? Do you think I'm not grateful for that? But you're still young. And I have experience. Bad one, but it's what I have. I wanted to warn you. Because Klaus is not much different."
"I am!" Bonnie protested.
"Yes. And I want you to stay that way."
Bonnie pressed her lips into a thin line. She wanted to forget the last few days. She wished she had never gone looking for Abby. She wished she had never gotten involved in the coffin business when Stefan asked her for help. She wished Tyler had never bitten her. She wished Klaus hadn't –
But she refused to think like her mother, in "what ifs".
"You said once an Original is in my life, he's there to stay. Is he still in your life?" Bonnie asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
Her mother was silent for a long time.
"No. He isn't. He's dead."
Bonnie looked out the window. Night was falling. And her mother was a liar.
Maybe Klaus was right. Maybe love, this kind of love, was a disease.
It will be over soon, she told herself. Klaus got what he wanted. And Abby served her purpose. They'll both leave and I'll be…I'll be better off.